Yeah, wish I told her how I feel
Maybe she'd be here right now
But instead

"You know what day is tomorrow, oppa?" Joohyun asked while her hand keeps on stirring her drink with the straw, her eyes did not dare to gaze up to the one who was watching her, showing no interest to play her guessing game. The one reason that he agreed to have this candelit dinner at one of Seoul top restaurant was to avoid  been held up by his dictator boss. And to be having such a grand dinner in the accompany of a beautiful lady will not be so bad compared to be stuck in his office and to deal with mountains of paper works.

Jiyong let out a big sigh before playing along with Joohyun silly game. "I'm sure tomorrow is definitely not Valentine's day."

Joohyun scowled. But she had expected to hear that answer from Jiyong. Nowadays, she could easily predict everything's about him. It seems that there was no longer fiery sparks in their relationship. And it had always been her alone to put it in effort to bring back all those lost feelings. Jiyong seems clueless, or worst, he seems disinterested to revive those feelings.

'Maybe I could just give it up and throw in the white flag.' Involuntarily, Joohyun let out an exasperated sigh, decided to give up altogether. She didn't even bother to reply Jiyong, instead taking a bite of her food that just been served by the waiter. 

Seeing Joohyun seems bothered with his nonchalant replies, he felt a sudden pain in his chest. He wondered what cause the pain but the smell of the delicious dishes that they had ordered earlier, distracted him. Maybe he could worry about it later, after he enjoyed this hearty food as his tummy had started to growling hungrily.

I pretend that I'm glad you went away
These four walls close in more everyday
And I'm dying inside, and nobody knows it but me

It had been 3 months had lapsed since Joohyun decided to call it quit on their love affair, and Jiyong never stop counting the days that had gone pass by him. Just like he never stop watching the ticking of the time away, every minutes and every seconds since she's gone from his life. And Jiyong seems to not care of Joohyun, according to him, childish decision to call it quit or as she haughtily expressed it with quote ~ "That's it. I give up, Jiyong. I can't do this anymore...!!"

'How dare she give up on him!! How could she give up on their relationship that they had built for almost a decade!!' Jiyong cursed everytime he thought of his last conversation with Joohyun.

Instead of trying to pacify Joohyun to give it another shot for their love affair, he angrily stated to her, "Well, I will be honor to grand your wish princess!!" And he left her, without even looking back at her for the last time, or worse, without feeling guilty whatsoever. Hot tears pouring out his handsome face which he quickly wipe it away.

Once he reached his apartment, slamming hard on the door behind him, he felt like bursting in anger or throwing stuff against the wall just to let out his frustration, but all that he feel, creeping deeper from inside of him, was mere emptiness and loneliness. He felt like dying...dying inside these four walls that starting to consume him.

Kwon Jiyong begins to miss his angel, but he is a proud man to admit his lost and begin his life in denial every single moment.

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside and nobody knows it but me

Not a single day had gone pass him that he never think of her...cried for her...and there was a time that he think he saw the illusion of herself, visiting him in his dark apartment. Only when he was alone in his apartment, he let his guard down from all his Grammy award acting that he had to put up with when he was outside the confinement of his home.

In front of his friends, he refused to admit his lost. He pretend that he was glad that their love affair finally been done with. He pretend to move on with his life, seems to recover quickly from his break-up. Well, after all, there was not a single person did he confide with his situation, not even with his best friend Young Bae. He choose to remain silent.

When they had tried to tell him of how Joohyun life was without him, he had walk away. He knows that it will be unfair for him to learn of how happy or might it be how miserable his ex-girlfriend life is now. If she is happy, despite his anger for her, he will somehow finds within him to forgive her. But if she is as miserable as he is, well...Not a single word or emotion he could muster of how to feel.

Why didn't I say the things I needed to say?
How could I let my angel get away?
Now my world is just tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly but you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you, and nobody knows it but me

Jiyong memories had betrayed him as it flows back to that night when he had lost his angel forever. Amples of times he had cursed himself or even questions his sanity for the real truth behind his silence behind the thing he should have express to Joohyun. He knows that all Joohyun wants for him is to express her true feeling for him and likewise. But what did he do is just to push her away and turn deaf ear to her only wish. 

"All I have is to say how much I love you. You have been the light of my life and there is nothing that I rather hold dear in my arm if it is not you, darling." He did said all those words out loud, but not to Joohyun, instead to the empty house where only the four walls had been the witness of his love confessions that being surrounded by lonely and silence night that greeted him almost every day now.

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
Now I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside, and nobody knows it but me

I lie awake, it's a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night as if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah, my heart is callin' you and nobody knows it but me

He had missing her so much but no one about it because Jiyong had become a great actor nowadays, to hide his miserable life now. No one knows how broken he is inside his deep heart. 

Nowadays, he felt his lifeless live becomes more empty and all the spark in his social life had become so deem as if showing that he is a nobody in the eyes of all his high societies friends. Every of his friends had been very happy with their respective partner but he always turns up with empty arm, no woman to keep him company.

He tries to get to know some girls that his buddy had introduce him, but he could not find anyone near perfect like Joohyun. All the girls seems childish and demanding, unlike Joohyun who always knows how to stay dependent and act mature than her actual age. 

He miss her terribly.

How blue can I get, you could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
(Nights are lonely, oh, so sad)
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you, and nobody knows it but me

Not a single night that make Jiyong forget how beautiful his life is with Joohyun in it. How she had brighten his life with her little quirk of lifestyles. Not only that, Joohyun had also been perfect on bed. She really match his desire whenever they had make love during those lovely night. She definitely knows how to make him relax after stressful hours in the office. 

Jiyong could never get tired of her during their lovemaking. And it is always a great pleasure for him to allow him to dominate him during their lovemaking because he knows that she is more than worth all those nights away.

But now that she had gone, not only his life had become redundant, his bed had becomes less desirable for him to sleep in. Because he could always imagine all those magical nights that he had shared with his beautiful and talented Joohyun.

Tomorrow morning, I'll hit the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope you come back to me

"Can you stop burden yourself and just search her??" scolded Young Bae his best friend. He could not believe that Jiyong had to torture himself this long to realise how much he had to loose Joohyun when the lady is just a distance away, waiting for her prince charming to save her. But Young Bae had promise Jieun not to reveal Joohyun's wherebout to Jiyong.

"Make him suffer, oppa!!" Jieun had confessed to Young Bae. He knows how angry his girlfriend for Jiyong's heartless behaviour recently. And Young Bae felt no harm to allow his girlfriend to punish Jiyong for a bit more longer.

"But where will I look for her, Bae?" Jiyong felt like strangling his friend neck. Not that he never think of all the possible way to search for his soulmate, but he was left with empty answer.

Young Bae gave him an encouraging smile. "Jeju."

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about the love that we had
And I'm missin' you, and nobody knows it but me.

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This story had been inspired by the song ~ 'Nobody Knows it but Me' sing by Babyface.