*

Luhan stared at the glassy surface of television. His hazy eyes studied the reflection of Sehun and him, watching SpongeBob together while slouching lazily, ignoring the desperate calls of other members to help arranged their new apartment. He’d only pretend to be deaf cause he’s in a bad mood, since EXO K and EXO M had their own dorm and lived separately. He really disliked the idea. He preferred the old dorm, where Kai only lives five doors from his bedroom and they could steal gazes to check each other presence in hallway, cafetaria or common room.

After the showcase, the things in between them went so perfect. Yesterday, Kai even visited him in his room, discussing about their dance-move with Lay while sitting on his bed and hugging and sniffling his pillow. At that time, he really wanted to jump Kai and snuggled with the handsome brunette to sleep, but no one know what relationship they are into, hence, there’s no love confession in between both of them so Luhan can’t make sure about it either. That’s why the closest thing he could do was sitting next to Kai, drowning in self-excitement over Kai’s warmth and nice fragrance.

Then Kris came to drop a bomb by informing that they had to move out and lived in assigned dorm within their sub-group. He eyed Kai, with displeasing gasp escaped his lips and even though it looked so childish, Kai smiled along with him, radiating the mature version of disappointed gaze which made his heart clenched in agony. It’s a pity, now that they’ll live in different building.

However the bad news didn’t stop there. After Kai left to pack his stuff, Lay told him the news about coupling made up by fans. He anticipated it badly to be paired with Kai cause when he heard the fanchants addressed to them, he was sure it’s not only him who can see that they were meant to be together. But the precious moment happened in the showcase disappeared like dust cause the majority fans preferred Kai to be with Dio for the bull like ‘they were roommates’ and ‘they must be so close because Dio can see Kai in everything, or… nothing.’

The last word sure set him into fury.

He wanted to see Kai too, dammit.

“Sehunnie…”

Luhan took a deep breath. It’s no good to remind himself about the bitter memory, so now he turned at Sehun and asked the youngest. “What do you think about Kai?”

Sehun gave him a strange look in return, like he was asking if unicorn had tail or not. He asked it to Lay before, though and the answer was so unsatisfying. But then the youngest caught his attention by asking him back, curiously, “What is it? What do you want from him?”

Luhan snorted, ignoring the funny tone in Sehun’s voice as he answered it casually, “I’m just wondering what kind of person he was, no offense…”

“Is that because he call you pretty?” Luhan felt his face heated instantly and his throat strangled by invisible thread at the memory of their showcase. He smiled giddily at the ticklish feeling inside his stomach, but when he looked at Sehun and the boy only stared at him flatly, his smile faltered into questioning look. “Chill down, hyung.” Sehun sneered, “It’s just fanservice. You don’t have to go all dizzy just because of that.”

“Why do you say that?” Luhan pouted in return, “You jealous aren’t you?”

Sehun laughed coldly, “gezz, don’t be stupid.” Although Luhan knew it’s rude, he didn’t mind when Sehun talked to him informally because when he got treated as older brother it felt like he was excluded from the circle of friendship. “You really are beautiful, it’s undeniable. I would tell everyone the same if I was asked about you.”

“Then, do you dislike Kai?”

Sehun still smiled but somehow the younger expression hardened as Sehun whispered lowly, “Just when he’s around you.”

That's really make Luhan shocked, in complicated way. The most reliable conclusion he had, probably Sehun treasured Kai so much as friends, the boy hated it when Kai got interested with Luhan. It made Luhan felt guilty cause he did his best to seduce Kai to acknowledge his presence, he forgot Kai also had other friends who might disliked his attempt. Aside that, he also had another theory, but that including Sehun and love and him, but he afraid that’s just one of his creepy imagination. He didn’t even want to joke about it although he knew their fans out there wanted him to have special relationship with Sehun.

Since his mind became so fuzzy with thoughts, Luhan decided not to speak again. Instead, he inhaled a deep breath and pulled out his phone to check on his weibo, browsing some pics from showcase and his mouth twitched into smile, as he watched a gif of Kai and him, wondering why people chose to be blind when they’re already this close, but then, he reminded himself that the public opinion wasn’t the one his after. Kai’s love, was the most important achievement for him right now.

By the way, Luhan immediately realized he didn’t have Kai’s number yet.

  His mouth almost requested Sehun to share Kai’s phone number, but he stopped in the middle of gaping. He had a feeling it’s not really a good idea so he got up from the couch and walked away instead.

“Hey.” Sehun caught his wrist, “where’d you going?”

“I’m going out for a sec.”

Sehun furrowed his eyebrows, “Hyung you can’t go out as you like anymore, we’re idols now.”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.” Luhan released the loose grip in his wrist and patted Sehun on the cheek, cheerfully, “if anyone asked just tell them I’m going to mall.”

“Then buy me Bubble-“ Luhan pinched the chubby cheek while laughing and then retreated before Sehun could recover from the stinging pain. Heeh, Sehun and his bubble tea, Luhan sighed as he waited for the elevator. He shudder a little, thinking about his training era when he loved bubble tea as much as life itself.

He was so sick of bubble tea now.

As he arrived at EXO-K dorm building, he entered the combination code and invited himself in, expecting to see the same chaotic scene like in his own dorm. But no, except for a few unopened boxes scattered around the house, nobody hung around in the living room. He saw Kyungsoo passed by but the boy was too immersed in reading a supermarket pamphlet while entering the noisiest bedroom, with electric guitar sounding out along with high pitched scream and baritone laugh.

That’s Channie and Baekki bedroom. Luhan was 1000% sure.

He scanned the other closed doors, carefully stood by and pressed his ear to the wooden surface to sense any sign, cause he didn’t dare to knock and announce himself. He heard hum from inside and his heart raced cause it probably Kai (or their manager) voice and it made him so nervous that he didn’t realize the door opened and his cheek bumped on something warm and damp.

“Eh?”

Okay, this is a bathroom, and it’s really Kai, but judging at how his face glued to Kai’s wet abs, Luhan was pretty sure from now on everyone will judge him as creep.

“Luhan hyung?”

“I’m not peeking on you.” Luhan immediately stand up straight and shook his head in panic, “Seriously, I’m here to see you but not…” he felt his face swollen with heat as his gaze trailed down ‘hungrily’ towards half Kai, “for umm…” his mouth watered because now he had an urge to ran his hand on Kai’s y hipbone, “I’m sorry I forgot what I want to say. See ya Kai.” With marching heart, Luhan turned around and walked away, awkwardly, scolded himself for doing something so embarrassing like this.

“Hey.”

But when Kai called him, his body turned back in flash and his eyes stared at Kai hopefully while inside he cursed more. He’d never felt this desperate to someone else before.

Kai smiled dazzlingly, “You don’t miss me?”

YOU, KIM JONGIN. That’s what luhan felt right now cause Kai shouldn’t say something like that with such gorgeous smirk and husky tone, while only having a towel wrapped around the hips and made Luhan itched to trail the ‘happy line’ down south with his finger to find Kai’s precious treasure and grabbed it to claim-

Luhan cleared his throat.

Did he just thinking of Kai’s ? ally?

“Well, yeah.” Luhan tried to smile and speaking the truth to stop this erratic heartbeat. He warned himself to control his attitude but his legs brought him close to Kai as he said, “that’s another reason why I’m here.” His fingers are trembling now, so he stuffed them into his jeans pocket, “where’s your room, Kai?”

“That one.” Kai pointed at the room in the end of corridor, “but I need to dress so you can wait me there.” Said the younger while entering the clothes room across the bathroom.

“I won’t be long.” Luhan refused the offer and followed Kai into the clothes room instead, cluelessly taking out his phone cause now he realized the main reason to see Kai, “I just want to…”

His breath hitched as Kai get rid of the towel and his face immediately flustered cause his groin was getting hit with jolt of pleasure to start growing a tent inside his cargo pants. He averted his gaze, unconsciously, refused to enjoy the show despite his whine at how unfair it was for him to have no chance seeing Kai . This is not what he wanted to see, in fact, he didn’t know how he’d like to see it.

“Heyyy…” Luhan startled when his phone got rid from his hand, “no photo please.”

“What?” Luhan eyes widened, “What? That’s not what I mean…” but as he looked at Kai again, his eyes felt like they’re melting cause Kai still , with boxer just halfway stopped in the knees, “I don’t want your picture! I’m here to ask for your number!” he whined in shame and when Kai only chuckled darkly at him, Luhan can’t stand it anymore and grabbed the rubber of the boxer, “can’t you… ugh…” the was too close to his face he was afraid his mouth will catch it when it swayed at his direction (Oh God!), so he pulled the undergarment up to seal it and saved himself from giving Kai head job.

  He didn’t mind doing it to Kai, since he loved Kai so much. He didn’t want to do it now, what if Kai thought he was an easy man?

“Thank you, hyung.” Like it won’t make Luhan dying more with strained feelings, Kai leaned in and kissed his cheek with gratitude and made he wondered why his face didn’t burst into pieces now for all these inner explosion he had to experience.

“I don’t want to say good bye…” Luhan felt the tears blurring his gaze, as Kai lips now trailing his jawline, encouraging him to title his head and let the boy inhaling the scent at the crook of his neck. He mewled, “Kai...” warned him, cause the touch weakened his legs, he needed to wrap his hands around Kai’s back so he won’t fall, “this is so unfair…”

True, life is unfair. They’re so close but Luhan can feel the longing already.

“I know.” Kai pecked his skin, “It’s too bad, we’re just getting along so well.”

Luhan wondered if Kai would kiss him, and confirmed their relationship into the next stage. But he was afraid to ask, or to hope more for now. What if they really date now and he’ll spend his nights in Beijing weeping about Kai not being in his side and not giving him gentle touch and not giving him butterfly kisses? If dating only tortured both of them more, it’s better to stay this way, at least for now.

“Kai…”

After Kai putting on a shirt and short pants, the boy joined Luhan sitting on the floor while offering to cuddle the older. Silently, Luhan scooted until his head lying on Kai’s broad chest and Kai’s arm embraced his smaller back, “is it okay to stay like this? What if someone coming and see us?”

 “Relax, no one will care.” Kai smiled at him, “moreover, so you come here to say good bye?”

“No, I want to know your number.” Luhan took his phone again while looking up at the handsome brunette, “please? Can I have it?”

Judging at how comical Kai eyes turned be and the coy smile now decorating the boy’s lips, Luhan had a feeling Kai would not just easily let him, without having something in return. “Then, if you had my number, what will you do?” and asking him something so obvious in such teasing tone, making Luhan slightly pissed off and pouted.

“That’s fine if you didn’t want to.” He said, let his immaturity took the charge even though it’s stupid, cause he knew when he attempted to get up from this comfortable position, Kai would held him and keep him still. This is the kind of love he wanted to get from the brunette and the kind of moment he would miss the most when he’s away.

“Aish,” His back tensed and his face blushed in red again as now Kai lips whispered huskily into his skin, “ who said i won't give you? You're such a baby hyung, get upset just from small things.” He almost smiled at the sweet words but then Kai said more, “Is that why Sehun called you Xiao Lu? Because you’re his baby?” asked the boy mockingly, making Luhan paused, confused why he had to be with Sehun.

Then he realized, maybe Kai also jealous with the coupling idea. Maybe Kai also wanted people feel the same, that they were meant to be together. It made his heart fluttered in happiness instead getting annoyed more to Kai and with that Luhan giggled, “I’m single, Kai.” He said it while entwining their fingers, “I’m no one’s baby.”

“Really?” To hear Kai voice softened and to feel their fingers tightened the bond, Luhan couldn’t help but smiling so wide, too wide his face became so hurt, “then hyung, can you stay single until you come back?”

It’s too much, what he had to face today, he couldn’t answer without choking out blood from his dry and burning throat. He only nodded, repeatedly and gasped again as Kai now cuddled him closer. He tucked his face into the warm chest, sniffling as much as scent of the man he loved, in hope he could bring the trace of Kai back to his hometown.

“I already save my number in your phone.” Kai gave Luhan the phone, which was forgotten by him since he was busy hugging Kai. Now he took it gladly and even gave Kai a quick hug in appreciation.

“Thanks. Then I’ll call you with my number, kay?”

“No need hyung.” Kai stopped Luhan with a cocky smile plastered on his lips, “I already remember it.”

*

They’re in love.

Every time Luhan woke up from his wet dream, exhausted and stained, his hand would run through his beating heart, counting how many days passed and how many more he had to endure living without the presence of the man he loved. It’s a torture, but somehow he managed to calm down and keep himself from mourning over Kai, because he’s not alone. He knew, from the numerous texts and chats they’d made, from the  phone calls in between their tight schedule, Kai also suffered without him.

‘When I wake up this morning and see my reflection on the mirror, I told myself, ‘man you look like …’ and that’s because of you Luhan hyung, so watch out, when you’ll back here, you’ll be fried…’

Luhan always loved the texts from Kai. Now he understood why the friends loved hanging around Kai no matter how grumpy or gloomy the boy was. The threats coming out from Kai were always so cute and the complaint sounded so childish. The calm and mature façade hid the preciousness of honesty which he adored so much. But the dirtiness was real especially when they’re having late night chat…

‘I’ve never seen you , hyung.’

‘Why would you want to see man’s body?’ Luhan texted back.

 ‘That’s unfair, you already see my /pout/’

Luhan sent him a mock laugh emoticon, added with, ‘life’s unfair Kai.’

‘Well…’ Kai then sent him a challenging message, ‘that’s fine though. It’s just the limp one. I’d be troubled if you see in the full size /snicker/’

Luhan felt his body tensed at reading it. Now his mind can’t stop thinking about Kai’s and his fingers trembled as he decided to take the bait, ‘how big is the full size then?’ He bit his bottom lips cause his heart began thumping hard and harder in anticipation of what kind reply he would get.

Kai attached a picture to their chat room.

Luhan averted his gaze, didn’t dare to look cause he afraid it’s something he really desired. But no, it’s the photo of a small cucumber, along with a voice message of, ‘this is the little one.’ Luhan giggled at how breathless Kai voice was since the boy was laughing too at the picture.

‘And this is the biggest one.’

Luhan didn’t mean to burst into laugh, but he did squeal seeing Sehun’s sleeping face. ‘Kai!’ he immediately shouted, ‘that was rudeeeeeeee!’ he sent Kai his voice because he didn’t have energy to text anymore.

‘But he’s indeed the biggest around here,’ as if it’s not funny, Kai tried to explain with such serious tone, ‘see the face, it’s so round and fluffy and if you slap the cheek, it’ll easily get bloated and red.’

‘Kyaaaah just stop it!’ Luhan cackled louder, until a pillow hit his face from Min’s bed and that’s the sign for him to end his chat. So he took a deep sigh and texted Kai a nice goodnight and prayed the best to happen in their promotion.

.

‘Need to wake up early, as usual. Good night Kai, dream about me.’

Kai read the message from Luhan, over and again. He didn’t answer, because there’s only three words occupied his mind and the same three words itched to be written by the tips of his thumbs.

“I love you…” He whispered to his phone, felt so coward cause weeks passed and he couldn't say or write it to Luhan yet. He was scared, if he confirmed his feeling he would be messed up if Luhan didn’t feel the same with him. Cause as he knew, Luhan always kind and friendly and clingy to everyone, so he didn’t want to set a high hope their love was in the same level.

“Don’t you think he loves me?”

Kai asked sleeping Sehun, who happened to accompany him in his room since Dio was sleepover at BaekYeol room. Kai didn’t know why Dio loved hanging around them so much. Personally he thought they’re too noisy for his taste.

Of course, there’ll be no answer from Sehun, so Kai only sighed and cuddled his pillow again, inhaling the scent of home, while thinking of Luhan. It’s less than a minute ago he listened to Luhan’s cute voice but his heart already tormented by longing. He missed Luhan, and there’s still half a month to go.

“I love you, Luhan hyung.”

He said it to himself before turning off the light and drifted into sleep.

*

“Have you seen my Noona?” Kai asked the stylist who worked on his hair, and when the older man turned at him with interest, the dance machine raised his phone and then laughed cause he’s showing Luhan’s selfie to the man instead her Noona's. For a moment the man only stared at the pic with furrowed eyebrows before scowling at now chuckling Kai for doing such a lame prank.

“She’s pretty, right? I loved her so much.” Kai said it proudly but he only got ‘ you’ as answer. He returned texting with Luhan, telling about the prank he did to stylist-hyung and smiled cause Luhan sent him sulky emoticon.

‘Hey cutie…’ Kai snickered into his phone, with his thumbs busy texting sweet flirts, ‘my sunshine… my sweet heart… my beautiful princess…’ until Luhan couldn’t stand ignoring him and finally replied him with,

‘So I’m yours now?’

Kai grinned even wider as he unconsciously type,

‘Yes you are mine.’

There’s no answer and Kai smiled faltered as seconds changed into minutes and suddenly hours passed as he was back from the stage. Still, Luhan didn’t reply and he became anxious. He couldn't stop thinking if the thing he feared the most happened. His love was unrequited, and now, aside feeling broken heart, he was pissed. He was angry cause it’s easier to blame others for his incompetence. It’s not his fault to fall in love, because Luhan made him to while the older only wanted to play around, wanted to enjoy his company, his touch and kisses.

But he’s not an so he took a deep breath to calm the storm in his heart. He's not an unstable teenage girl. Shouldn't be panic just because there's no word from Luhan. His love was stronger than this, his love for Luhan would be fine even though it stayed one sided forever.

However, as he finally had the chance to lie on his bed, his mind became more restless. He began wondering if this is really happening. Luhan really dumped him cause now he wanted more than friendship. The hell, he never offered friendship. All these time the affection he showed to the older was because he loved Luhan like a man to his lover.

His eyes blinked at hearing alert sound from his phone.

It’s a call from Luhan and even though his heart began marching wildly all over again, Kai was hesitated if he should pick it up or just reject it. It took a while for him to decide, the call was ended so Kai took a deep breath and gathered his courage to call Luhan back.

“Kai.” Luhan muttered softly.

“Sweetie.” Kai couldn’t help but smile, no matter how hard his day, Luhan voice would always became the only cure for his exhausted limbs and wounded heart.

“Do you want to tell me something?”

Kai furrowed his eyebrows. Is it the right time? His heart asked out. Should he be a real man and confessed to Luhan with the right phrase?

“Kai?” When he only drifted in silence, Luhan startling him back to reality. "Are you forget this is my birthday?”

Yes, sort of. Kai groaned mentally, while eyeing his alarm clock. It’s already 1 AM here and he sighed, readying himself to apology when he heard Luhan said again, “you’re angry at me, aren’t you? I can feel it. Did I do wrong or something?”

“No.” Kai sat up and walked out of his bedroom, then he secured himself inside the clothing room so no one would hear and getting disturbed if this phone call turned dramatic, “I’m just tired, Lu…” he whispered.

“You’re tired of me?” Luhan gasped and Kai clenched his palm, his mind tore apart in between punching Luhan in the face or hugged Luhan close to his chest because the accusation was too dense and too immature to be spoken from a grown up. This cutie pie! His heart mourned. Is he really turned 22?!?!

“No, I’m not.” Kai answered hopelessly, “I’m just missing you okay? So much! It’s not getting better when you ignored my reply this morning. I thought I crossed the line and you hate me.”

“I thought the conversation is over!” Luhan whined back and Kai gritted his teeth, wished if he really could teleport to Beijing now. Then he would cup Luhan face and smooched those lips which made him burned with desire from the overloaded cuteness and the innocent whine. Seeing this, Kai noted to himself to save his money for flight ticket (if Luhan already became his boyfriend) cause when they’re away, there'll always reason for him to fly to where Luhan was.

“Okay, now it didn’t matter anymore.” Kai rested his back on the wooden floor while his eyes tracing the white ceiling above, “but I bet I’m not the first one who tell you ‘Happy Birthday.’ I’m sorry.”

“You even forget it.” Luhan sulked, “I had to remind you, this is so lame...”

“I’m sorry.” Kai said again in the form of soft whisper, “Let me make it up for you by giving you the greatest birthday gift ever.” He smiled along when he heard the solemn atmosphere in between them cracked as Luhan giggled, eagerly taunting him to spill out the surprise and accused him for lying, “Hmph, I bet you only want to tease me again. I know you, Kai.”

“If you know me, then you might know what the gift is.” Kai chuckled lightly, and when Luhan started guessing, Kai felt his entire body shuddered in bliss. All were wrong, from the books, toys, plush pillow, even ramen, but he counted every answer and kept counting it so when Luhan was back to Korea that’s how many kisses he would plant on Luhan lips.

*

How was it? ^^