“Yo!” Jongin greeted his friend, unaware of how the girl beside him had frozen on her feet upon coming face to face with the guy in front of them and how Sehun’s brows had furrowed briefly before they went back to its place.

 Wordlessly, Sehun just nodded his head once in acknowledgement. He settled himself in front of the counter, his back slightly leaning on the kitchen counter with both of his hands supporting his weight.

“Oh! I have someone to introduce to you,” Jongin grinned ear to ear and Sehun raised his eyebrow then. “This is Soojung,” he introduced, placing his palm on the girl’s shoulder. He then turned to the said girl as he introduced the other guy, “And Soojung, this is my best friend that I love so much, Oh Sehun,” Jongin finished with a wink thrown to Sehun that made the said guy rolled his eyes. Jongin retaliated with sticking his tongue out between his lips.

Out of nowhere Jongin felt the need to find a drink as his throat suddenly felt dry. “Okay, now that I have introduced the two of you, Sehun, why don’t you talk to Soojung while I go get us a drink?” he asked the said guy but he was only met with silence. Jongin then turned to Soojung and tapped her shoulder, making Soojung jolted on her spot and tore her gaze away to Jongin; as he spoke up, “Talk to Sehun. I’ll go get us drink, okay?” he told the girl, giving her a little smile before he walked away to where the drinks were served.

“Hey, man. Is she your girl?” a voice sounded beside him just as Jongin took his as well as Soojung’s drinks. His head snapped to the voice then, immediately recognizing the person to be one of his university’s colleagues.

“What?” Jongin questioned out of surprise.

“That girl right there,” the guy explained, pointing his hand that was holding a drink in the direction where Soojung and Sehun were.

I wish she is, Jongin’s mind spoke but then he just offered the guy a smile, letting that served as the answer to the guy’s question and went back to where Sehun and Soojung were. Leaving a person that was as quiet as she can get and another person who was like a time bomb for a long time would not be a great idea, Jongin thought.

It didn’t came as a surprise to Jongin when he came back to see the two people that he had left a while ago didn’t utter a word, still in the same position as when he left them, engulfed by the air of awkwardness. The guy could smell a little tension and he was sure that it was his time to step up.

Jongin didn’t even have a chance to make a sound as Sehun suddenly pulled himself away from the counter and walked up to where he was. “I’ll see you later,” Sehun muttered to the former as he walked past him.

Sehun’s sudden action had Jongin raising his eyebrow, couldn’t comprehend as to why the guy was acting such way. “I don’t know what’s wrong with that guy,” he blurted out as he turned to look at the retreating figure of Sehun that soon disappeared into the sea of people. “He’s always grumpy for no reason,” he added with a sigh that escaped his lips without him even knowing.

“Maybe he’s just tired,” Soojung’s voice sounded beside him, and her somewhat reassuring words had a small smile slowly spreading across his face.

“Oh!” Jongin exclaimed as his eyes wandered down to the drinks in his hands. He turned to Soojung then, holding out one of the drink to the girl, “here.”

“Sorry. I don’t drink…” the girl apologized; face showing a weary expression and the size of Jongin’s eyes grew at that. ! Did I make a mistake? He cursed in his head.

“Sorry, I didn’t know,” he apologized immediately, suddenly feeling like a prick. Jongin should have known by now, even when the girl didn’t tell him he should have known. He immediately put away both his and Soojung’s drinks on the counter.

“So, what did you two talk about while I was gone?” he couldn’t help but ask, curiosity eating him up from the inside.

“Nothing,” Soojung replied in a voice that was barely above a whisper, eyes looking somewhere else but Jongin. That avoidance of eye contact made Jongin even more curious but he didn’t want to push the matter further, just stopping it at that.

“Kim Jongin!” A voice shouted amidst the loud noises. At the sound of his name being called, Jongin’s head snapped. Few of his soccer teammates could be seen amongst the crowds of hundreds of people. One of them threw his hand up, signalling Jongin to go there.

“Hey, my friend’s calling me. You wanna go there?” he asked the girl that had not said a single word since earlier.

“I’ll just wait here,” Soojung replied.

“Are you sure? Then I’ll just stay here wit—“

“Yeah, just go,” Soojung assured, and the finality in her voice had Jongin shut his mouth.

“Okay, I’ll be back before you know it,” he offered the girl a smile. “Just,” he added then, the expression on his face suddenly turning to that of weary. “Don’t go wandering off to where I can’t see you, okay?” he finished. He didn’t mean to sound over-protective but the last thing he wanted was for something to happen to the girl.

He didn’t know how long he had been talking with his friends but when he turned to look at where he had left Soojung, his eyes landed on  nothing but an empty kitchen. He had suddenly turn deaf even though the house was practically shaking with the speakers blaring with loud music. All he could hear was his voice shouting, where did she go? A sudden panic surged up inside him. “I’ll see you guys later,” he bade his friends then walked off to find Soojung.

After fifteen minutes of searching around the house and the level of his anxiety was already at its peak, Jongin decided to search for the girl outside the house. Please be around here. Please be around here, he prayed silently. A familiar figure came into view upon stepping out of the house, luckily.

He saw the girl and his best friend near a bush, standing across from one another. Sehun seemed to be angry at her, judging from the way Soojung stood frozen on her spot while she had her face down. When he strode his way to them, Jongin saw the girl bit her lip, a rare sight to see. But why would Sehun be angry at her? They don’t know each other so he has no reason to be angry, or do they? Maybe Jongin was just imagining things. Brushing off the absurd that was his thoughts, he walked to them. “What’s up?” he asked, beaming under the moonlight.

The same aura from when they were in the kitchen encircled them, and Jongin suddenly had a bad feeling, stomach knotting out of nowhere. “Don’t leave your girl alone next time,” Sehun uttered, anger lacing his voice, not even sparing a glance at Jongin as he walked past him, shoulders collided slightly against each other that had him questioning what the hell was going on.

***

Fear. The word itself was petrifying and one would know that nothing good will come out from being in fear. And Jongin, he had always been full of fear despite of him looking like an easy-going person. He was always pictured to be a happy-go-lucky person – feeling happy all the time, always getting what he wanted and nothing will ever get in his way. But beneath every smile, there lies a little fear and insecurity that slowly builds up as the time passed by.

There were a lot of things that the guy named Kim Jongin feared. He had always feared being in high places, have always feared the dark, feared any insects that would suddenly land on his body, but above all that, Jongin have always feared getting close to someone, afraid that he might end up being the one who was left behind. He have always feared falling in love, afraid that he might be the hurting end and have always feared of being a disappointment.

Not a day goes by without him being deep in thoughts, swarmed with ideas, coming up with his own hypothesis, thinking of the possibilities of what could have been or what should have been. The moment he was left alone, not talking, his mind would instantly wheeled, working on its own accord, and he would be in the realm of thoughts until someone decided to save him from going deeper.

Tonight was not an exception.

He had left the party with Soojung when the short pointer reached ten. And now he was back to being alone, in his room, lying on his bed. His eyes were getting heavier as the second passed by but he couldn’t sleep his tiredness away. The wheel of his mind spun yet again, reeling in the abyss of thoughts. The thought of seeing Sehun and Soojung together in one place, so close with one another made his stomach churned. What could they possibly be talking at the time he was gone? What could have possibly happen that lead to Sehun looking enraged? Even if the eyes told him that there was nothing between them, that he was probably just imagining things, his heart told him otherwise. There was definitely tension between the two, as little as it could be, and Jongin couldn’t deny the feeling of jealousy that was slowly eating him up from the inside. It didn’t help that Sehun was being suspiciously gloomier than how he already was. Soojung too was being unusually quiet, quieter than she had always been. It was as if Jongin could see an invisible string connecting the two together, the unseen sparks that aroused when they were together.

Jongin just closed his eyes, hoping the door to dreamland would soon be open and welcome him with a world where only happiness exists.

***

A single call from Oh Sehun had half of his heart break and shattered into pieces. The fact that his own best friend had just told him that he was going to fly to the United States in just a few hours, and on top of that he was going to stay in that side of the world for the next few years made Jongin want to go to the guy’s house and strangle him to death. How could he be telling him now? How could he?

“What the hell is wrong with you, man?” Jongin shouted ever so harshly into the phone. “You’re going to America today and in just a few hours I may add, but you’re just telling this to me now? What am I to you exactly?!”

“I’m sorry, Jongin,” Sehun mumbled over the phone.

“You’re sorry?” Jongin scoffed. The guy had half the heart to just end the call and switch his phone off but he needed an explanation more than just a simple news. “Why do you suddenly decide to go there? I mean there must be at least one reason and please don’t give me some bull excuse. I’m not up for any at this early morning.”

There was a long dead silence, almost making Jongin thought that the line had went dead but then the voice from the other line sounded. “My parents wanted me to go since long ago,“ another silence arose before Sehun continued, “ And I wanted fresh air, a new environment and yeah, start anew.”

“What?” That was the only word that Jongin was capable to utter at the very moment. He found the other guy’s reasons utterly absurd to the point that a laugh had almost escape his parted lips. “Did something happen to you in the past few months? Are you okay? Is everything fine?” He couldn’t stop the string of questions that kept on flowing out of his mouth, not even breathing in between his words, not even giving the other a chance to speak. His eyes then widened all of a sudden as an idea struck him. “Are you sick somewhere, Oh Sehun?”

“No!” Sehun quickly answered.

“Then why?!” he asked again, his hoarse morning voice came out louder than how he intended it to be.

“I already told you,” his best friend simply answered.

“Still not convinced,” Jongin stated in a deadpan tone.

“It’s up to you,” Sehun shrugged.

“I’m not going to send you off,” told Jongin with finality in his voice before he hung up.

***

The moment Soojung came into view, Jongin’s lips that had been in a thin line since he ended the call curled up slightly into a small smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes still. “Hey,” he greeted the girl.

“What’s wrong?” The girl asked, probably noticing the look that Jongin was wearing on his face.

“Do you know that Oh ing Sehun went to States?” he asked, eyes staring into space, but the question sounded more like a rhetorical question. “And he just told me this today,” he added then, his words were followed by a frustrated sigh.

Before Jongin could comprehend of what was happening, Soojung was already a sobbing mess, sitting on the floor, tears flowing, and cheeks drenched with crystal liquids. “W-what? S-sehun w-w-went to A-America?”

Jongin suddenly felt anxious at the sight of Soojung crying without knowing the reason as to why the girl was like that. “Soojung? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” he asked dumbly, crouching down to the same level as the girl as he shook Soojung’s shoulders lightly.

“S-sehun—he—he left—without s-saying goodbye—he left—“ the girl stammered out, sobbing in between her words.

“What—“ Jongin said, swallowing hard as he felt as if heavy weight had been put in his chest out of nowhere. “What do you mean?” he willed himself to ask, even if his heart and mind for the very first time harmonized, shouting at him not to, but he was met with nothing but more sobs and tears. “Soojung-ah,” he slowly called, settling his palm on the girl’s shoulder.

“He left—“ Jongin’s world slowly stopped then, voices gradually turning to echoes before they disappeared as everything slowly made sense to him. His mind did its work once again, but this time it was not possibilities, it was facts. Facts that made the other half of Jongin’s heart crumpled up completely, not leaving anymore possibility of getting fixed, mend or patch together.

The way Sehun had suddenly turned to a ticking bomb that could explode at anytime and anywhere, the way Soojung would suddenly turned very quiet when his best friend’s name was being thrown into their conversation, the sudden disappearance of his best friend every time he wanted to meet his crush, the nonsensical excuses. And how could he not know that the figure that Sehun was looking at with such pleasant smile around his face when he found the guy after that one soccer practice was in fact belongs to Jung Soojung? And how stupid could he be for not realizing sooner that the Jung Soojung that Sehun had helped before, the Jung Soojung that Sehun had told him to be their schoolmate since elementary school, was as a matter of fact the same Jung Soojung as the one he had fall in love with?

And how could he not find out about everything back in the party when everything was so ing obvious? The way Sehun looked at Soojung with menacing eyes, practically boring a hole when he introduced them. And the way Soojung had completely sealed, eyes fixed on Sehun all that time. And that night outside the house, how could he even deny that there was definitely sparks between the two? How could he not know that they were in love with each other? That they were meant for each other all along? That they were meant to be together, and he was the vault that prevents them from being together? How could he not know?

His arms then unconsciously encircled the girl to his embrace, swallowing hard yet again to prevent tears from rolling down his cheeks as he mumbled out, “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be fine.” This time Jongin knew for sure that the words were meant to be self-assurance rather than to ensure the girl.

Author's Corner:

I have nothing else to say other than please don't hate me? :'D

any questions regarding the relationship between Sehun and Soojung, you can just read It all started with a can of coffee, or you can ask me @ my ask.fm