[08/14/2012 3:30pm]

Baek Chang Ju: “Ji hyo-ah I'll see you later this week. Ok." As he kissed her cheek and walked out the door.
JiHyo: “Yae Oppa, see you later.”
As soon as he closed the door, she dived onto the sofa, put her head in a pillow, took a deep breath and screamed until she had no more air in her lungs. She really couldn't take it anymore, everyday it was the same routine, she was literally going stir crazy. She really couldn't understand what happened. This last year with Chang Ju had been great. He was still as caring and considerate as ever and since they had come out publicly there had been no problems. Things were a little awkward at first but everyone had warmed up to them as a couple. Fans even respected their relationship, though they still missed Monday Couple. Chang Ju even came out to dinners with the Running Man cast and PD team sometimes. It was all perfect. As for her relationship with Gary it was good but it was different. He was still friendly and kind to her but it just....felt different. He treated her the same way he treated all the other female guests with courtesy and respect; always the gentleman. That's what she wanted though; to distance herself from Kang Gary. She had everything she wanted so why did she still not feel content? Where was all this frustration coming from?
 

JiHyo: Why am I going crazy here? Wae, wae? Why is everything so damn boring?
 

That was it. She was bored. Everything in her life had become routine. She could explain her day, minute by minute because lately every day was the same. Life with Chang Ju was just too perfect. He was a perfect gentleman all the time; always considerate, always caring, never got extremely angry and gave her everything she wanted. Any other women would be happy to have a man like him; they should have been married by now but over the last couple months she found herself looking for any reason to avoid talks of marriage. Just the thought of it made her suffocate a little. It took everything in her to keep wearing this couple ring. It just reminded her too much of a wedding ring. She wasn't adverse to the idea of marriage; she in fact adored her parents’ marriage. They had met in their twenties and though they had been married for thirty years now you really couldn't tell any difference between them in their fifties and how they were in their twenties. If she could use any word to describe their marriage it would be: passion. They were still passionate about each other. She was raised watching her parents kiss; she would walk by their study at night, peek through the door and watch her parents dance cheek to cheek to jazz music playing on the record player. There were no words, just the sound of the trumpet player and the occasional giggle from her mom as her dad whispered into her ear. Their marriage wasn't perfect; they could fight like cats and dogs. She remembered one particular time where her dad came home drunk after work on their anniversary and her mom chased him down the street carrying a pan in her hand. She didn't know what time they got back in that night but she remembered seeing them the next morning asleep together with her dad's head resting in her mother's lap with an ice pack on top. Her mother used to play softball; she doubted her mother missed when she threw the pan. Through the fights her parents always respected each other, always made up; they let her see love wasn't supposed to be perfect, love could hurt the person you love most but love also would be the one to heal that same hurt. Not to mention her parents were still making love at their age. She knew it existed, but knowing it for real was just a little too much. She had just stopped by the house not too long ago to drop off some tea and had caught them red handed sneaking out of the shower together. She could do nothing but close her eyes and walk out the door. Now that she thought about it she wanted that too. That a person could be so in love with her that even thirty years later he couldn't keep his hands off her and vice versa. Her love life wasn't even that good she laughed out loud to herself.

But a lack of excitement was not a valid reason to end a relationship. Chang Ju loved her and she loved him as well. This was probably just a phase that they were going through and she was just thinking about things way too much. Chang Ju was the perfect guy for her and with that firmly in mind she went about planning what she would do for the rest of the night. Usually she and Chang Ju would usually have dinner and see a movie but she was in the mood for something different tonight. He didn't like soju so she hadn't really had any in months. She had a major taste for it tonight though and she knew of only one other person who could enjoy a drink as much as she did. Just the thought of having a drink with him caused a slight tingle of excitement kiss up her spine; she hadn't felt that in a very long time. Ji hyo pulled her cell phone out and with a mischievous grin wrote a text to her oppa.
 

Oppa,
Let's have a drink tonight at your restaurant Pal Chang.
I should be there in a hour.
Mong Ji
 

Ji hyo hit send and got ready knowing her oppa wouldn't turn her down.

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[Leessang studio]

Gary had just finished laying down a track for the new Leessang album. They still had more work to do but the big picture was finally coming together. Gil had already finished for the night since he came in much earlier that morning. Gary ended up sleeping much later because he got back in really late from the Dynamic Duo event that previous night. Gary felt he would probably be in the studio another two hours re working the song. He had just stepped out of the booth when he heard his cell phone buzz and flash. That usually meant a text. It was probably one of his friends letting him know about some event tonight but he really wasn't in the mood. He had a mind to ignore it but didn't want to be rude. He checked the phone and read:
 

Oppa,
Let's have a drink tonight at your restaurant Pak Chang.
I should be there in an hour.
Mong Ji
 

He was quite surprised to receive a text from her. It had been so long. He weighed the invitation in his mind with both a feeling of excitement and dread. It had been almost a year and a half that he had decided to put his fantasies about Ji hyo to rest and truthfully at first it had been easy, but now almost a year later, he could see that he truly couldn't forget about her. He was more aware of her than ever before, he just was much better at hiding it. The first couple of months after the Monday Couple relationship ended he was seeing women every night. Having company in his bed was the easiest way to forget about her. It was a new woman every night for a while but it was a friendship he up with a woman through his friend Gil that was the most significant. She was an art student from America studying in Korea for a year. She was actually half African American and half Chinese. She told him that she was considered Creole because she was from New Orleans and her ancestry was Cherokee Indian, French, Spanish, and African.Gary didn't understand any of that, didn't even know where Louisiana was in America but he knew she was beautiful; a beauty not usually found in Korea. Her skin was the color of coffee con leche, black hair with a curly texture that must have come from her black heritage and green eyes. It's amazing how such a mix of so many colors could create something so gorgeous. It was just like music; all these voices, thoughts and sounds come together into something melodic that is greater than its separate parts. As he got to know her he began to like her more and more. She was a vibrant human being; loved art, dancing, and especially music. She wasn't fully fluent in Korean but she could catch the feeling he was trying to convey in my music. She said a lot of it resonated within her. Over time through their mutual love of music their friendship deepened. She began to learn Korean and she introduced him into some less mainstream music from America. His English wasn't that good but she of course helped with that.  Gary knew about Drake, Ke$ha, Lady Gaga and Lil’ Wayne but he had never heard of some of these other people. Artists like Maxwell, Sade, Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, and rappers like Common, J Cole, Mos Def and this guy coming out of California Kendrick Lamar. Gary could say they had truly influenced his music now. She believed that Ihe could increase his lyrical skills by being introduced to some of the forerunners of American Hip Hop. These artists rapped and played with the beat in ways he had never experienced; some rapping on the up beat rather than the down or stretching the beat to match their lyrics. Gary began to learn English through the content of their music. The singers would be lay their hearts open about experiences of love and loss. They were much more open about things, some of the things they said were shocking but it was their truth; who was he to judge. But he knew he wanted the strength to be brutally open like that, you know a slave to the craft of music.

Gary remembered one particular night where we were vibing to some songs for the new Leesang album they were gonna release which would eventually be Asura Balbata. They would usually listen together and she would offer critiques and her opinion. That night they had been drinking wine, laying on the couch, her head in his lap. The evening was winding down and the wine had him feeling much bolder than normal. She had fallen asleep and he couldn't help but stare at her face. Tracing the outlines of her face with his eyes; her cheekbones, the contours of her eyes, the bridge of her nose, until finally landing on her lips. Those lips that were so soft, full and pouty with this deep pink color that reminded him so much of...No! I'm not doing this, he thought. She isn't her, he was over her, and this is who he needed in his life. Gary again looked at Lan Xin lips and slowly moved towards them eventually hovering above them. He closed his eyes to move for the kiss but was instead met with a kiss from Lan Xin. Seems she had opened her eyes to catch him in the act of kissing her and just responded on her own. Gary gave himself over to the feeling of his lips on hers. A rush of blood to the head so strong that he forgot where he was...all he could see in his mind were lips soft as pillows and a deep almost red hue. Lips that eliminated his focus on everything else but them. As he came down from the high and opened his eyes it wasn't Lan Xin he saw but...Song JiHyo. Seeing her face caused him to jump back which startled Lan Xin who assumed she made the wrong move in kissing him. Kang Gary could do nothing but apologize profusely. He felt so embarrassed that he stepped out on the terrace for some fresh air. He stood looking out over the balcony into the night, too embarrassed to go back inside.
Lan Xin walked out to the balcony door and called out "Oppa."
He turned around and slowly raised his head to look at her. She looked at me with this knowing smile and softly asked "who is she?"
When she asked that, he knew he was in trouble. All he could say was "that obvious?"
She walked over and stood next to him on the balcony. She sighed and with a small chuckle said, "there are only two reasons a man reacts like that: one he felt something so incredible it scared him or two he is in love with another woman and he is just now realizing it."
Love? Kang Gary thought to himself. "I'm not in love with her"
Lan Xin: "Oppa, I hate to be the one to tell you but it seems for you to have had a reaction like that, you had fallen off that cliff a long time ago. The heart wants what the heart wants. And the harder you struggle against it, the stronger it will make its desire known to you. Now... who is she?"
Kang Gary took in a deep breath and began to tell Lan Xin of Song Jihyo as they leaned over the balcony looking out into the night. Watching her as she listened and offered advice on his situation he knew he was in trouble. If he couldn't fall in love with this woman in front of him, there would be no one else. She had everything he was looking for but it still wasn't enough; Lan Xin wasn't her. She was right. He was completely underwater when it came to Song Jihyo. Any time he struggled against his attraction to her he found himself sinking deeper and deeper. He decided then to just stop trying to fight and channel his emotions into his work. He couldn't open up to her but he could find release in his music.

His thoughts were interrupted by another text from Ji Hyo reading:
 

Oppa, I'll be there in ten.

Mong Ji
 

Kang Gary grabbed his keys, flicked off the lights in the studio, locked the door and left. Unsure of what would happen tonight, he steadied his nerves and got in the car to drive to his restaurant Pal Ja Mak Chang.