Authors Note: Hey guys, so sorry that I took so long to update. Life is especially hectic right now. This one is really of short in comparison to my other updates so I'll make another update soon because of that. This was actually much harder to write because it is such a tricky subject. Being in a relationship with someone else but harboring attraction for another is difficult; attraction is not something we can control but our actions are. But what happens when it feels right? Like something more than just physical attraction. When is it time to explore what exactly you are feeling? How can you do that without hurting the person you are with currently; when feelings change, somethings never develop, and other feelings do. Human emotion is complicated Enjoy.

JiHyo

JiHyo finally broke the kiss and took a small step back from Gary. She now had a chance to breathe a little. When Gary kissed her, it felt like she lost all mental and physical control; it was all mouth and tongue and emotion. She couldn’t even remember how to think, let alone breathe when his lips touched hers. JiHyo didn’t know how to process experiencing that kiss. She had never felt anything like that before; her whole body was buzzing with the aftereffects of it.

Gary moved towards her again, reached out his hand and grabbed her arm, pulling her into his embrace once more. He lifted up her chin and lowered his head to meet her lips as JiHyo closed her eyes in anticipation and…

 **thud***

JiHyo was instantly woken up from her dream. There she was in a crumpled mess on the floor, wrapped completely in the blanket, looking like a potato. Seems she had just rolled off the couch in her sleep.

“Aish, Dammit” she said, rubbing her shoulder which she landed on. JiHyo finally opened her eyes enough to get a look at her surroundings. [This isn’t my house.] That thought jolted her awake and she realized that she was in some room. She got up and looked around. She saw her purse, cell phone and keys on a desk, along with some soap and a towel. Confused about where and why she was here and with a headache starting to develop, she exited the room. As she walked down the hall she realized this was Gary’s studio. [Why am I here? And where is Gary?] She walked into the recording area and on the table saw a note and two pills.

Mong Ji,

You drank a lot last night and passed out. So I won ;)

So I brought you here to sleep.

Too drunk to drive as well. Keke.

Another successful Monday Couple drinking episode.

You probably have a major headache right now,

 so take these two Advil before it gets really bad.

Some towels and soap for your shower.

Call you later. Gaelly

After reading the note, all of the memories of last night came flooding back; the tteokbokki, drinking game, talking and the song Roxanne. The chorus came rushing back to her and now the song was stuck in her head and starting to make her headache worse. She grabbed the two aspirin and went to the mini fridge Gary and Gil keep in the studio hoping that they had a bottle of water; luckily they did. She popped the two pills, took a drink of water and sat down in Gary’s chair, closing her eyes as she tried to relax and let the pills take effect. When the headache began to subside she started to remember the last events of that night; the quiet walk home as she was carried in Gary’s arms, him saying something to her and then…

“He kissed me…” Song JiHyo whispered as she now realized it wasn’t just a dream. Her initial reaction was one of surprise and pleasure but that slowly gave way to confusion.

“That bastard kissed me. I should be angry as hell.” [But I’m not]. Which confused JiHyo even more; why was she not angry? He knew she had a boyfriend; wasn’t that complete disrespect to her and Chang Ju’s relationship? But she wasn’t angry at him, that kiss felt right and that’s what scared and confused her. Why did that kiss feel right? Why did she enjoy it? Did she like Gary Oppa? And what about Chang Ju Oppa? All these questions were popping up in her head at too fast a rate for her to process and answer.

“JiHyo try to relax and remember everything that happened last night” she told herself.

With her eyes closed, she breathed in and out slowly, trying to focus on remembering the last events in detail.

[She started with the walk home, being carried in Gary’s arms. She had woken up part of the way but she didn’t want to tell him; she just wanted to stay like that for a little while; no talking, nothing but the streetlights to guide them, the feel of his arms around her, and the subtle rise and fall of his chest. She felt, safe and secure and let herself relax into him and drifted off to sleep again. She was then awakened by Gary saying something to her.

“…for a long time, so don’t hate me ok. I just need this one memory; just one taste of you.” And then he kissed her.]

She didn’t realize it was real last night; all of it seemed like a dream. So what does all this mean now? Then what about Gary's first love? Did Gary Oppa like her? Couldn’t be, but Gary had already admitted he was not and could not get over her. Did that mean she was just a replacement, like those other girls? That one thought put a huge knot in her stomach. Granted they had not slept together but as much as that kiss affected her, she could admit it would hurt tremendously to have him kiss her and know that he's seeing someone else in his mind.
She shook her head furiously from side to side to get rid of those thoughts. The most pressing thing was what was she gonna do about Chang Ju Oppa. Is it okay to be in a relationship with him while harboring such an intense attraction to Gary Oppa?

JiHyo felt like she was in over her head emotionally right now; struggling with the fact that she felt neither guilt nor anger at Gary kissing but was feeling guilty that she felt no guilt. When things got to be too much for her, she would retreat away from it. Best thing is to (act like it didn't happen) she thought to herself, it would give her time to figure things out. All of these thoughts were not helping the hangover she was still dealing with; bringing on another major headache. She saw the bottle of Advil  Gary left on the table, took out two more pills and went back to the sofa to rest a little more before showering and heading home. She hoped a few more hours of sleep would be all she needed.

**4 hours later**

JiHyo groggily opened her eyes after a big yawn. She blinked a couple times before she was focused enough to realize where she was. Seems she had slept longer than she planned. She went to check her cell phone to see what time it was but realized it was dead. [.] She might have missed some important calls or messages; which means she would be in for an ear full when she spoke to Kyeong- ah Unnie. Even though JiHyo had no schedule today, her manager liked to check in and give her an update about what would be happening the rest of the week. She was always super irritated when JiHyo let her phone die. She needed a ride so she was going to have to just take the scolding; no way to avoid it. She used the landline in the studio to dial Kyeong-ah.

Kyeong-ah: “Yeobosaeyo? Hello?”

JiHyo: “Unnie, it’s me.”

Kyeong-ah: “Song JiHyo? Where are you, whose number is this?”

JiHyo: “Unnie. I’m calling from Kang Gary’s studio. My phone died, so I’m using his. I know. I know what you said about letting it die; sorry if I missed your call.”

Kyeong-ah: “Oh I didn’t call you. Baek Chang Ju told me he was going to spend most of today with you. Are you two not together? Did something happen?”

JiHyo was completely surprised by this and was definitely not in the mood to explain what happened last night.

Jihyo: “No everything is fine; we just changed plans a little. I’ll see him a little later today. Are you close to the Gangnam area to be able to pick me up?”

Kyeong-ah: “I should be there in around 45min. That ok?”

JiHyo: “That’s perfect. Thanks. See you in a little while.”

That gave her just enough time to take a nice long hot shower to freshen up. She didn’t see a phone charger anywhere in the studio so she would just use Kyeong-ah’s car charger to check any missed calls or messages. She was not yet ready to speak to Chang Ju; needed time to get her thoughts together. Unfortunately she didn’t have any extra clothes here but she did find an extra T-shirt in the office. She could wear her jeans again but would put her underwear in her purse; she went camo many times before so that was no problem. She prayed that there would be shampoo in the bathroom so she could wash her hair and her prayers were answered. JiHyo the shower water as hot as she could stand it and stepped in.

Song JiHyo’s eyes naturally drifted out the window. Kyeong-ah was busy telling her about some of the events that may be coming up in the next week for her. JiHyo was hearing everything she said, but not really listening; retreating further and further into her own thoughts.

The closer she got to arriving home, the more she dreaded it. She finally heard the voicemail from ChangJu Oppa stating that he had a surprise for her. After to replying to his text, he stated that he would meet her at her house.

The thing she was most grateful for in this moment was Chang Ju tendency not to pry. He didn't ask why he didn't hear from her last night; he just assumed she was busy like normal. Jihyo silently sent a silent thanks up for the fact that she wouldn't have to lie to him about what happened; lying to Kyeong-ah was enough.

As they pulled up the street to her house, she could see his car waiting out front. Though they had been dating almost two years now, he still didn’t have a key to her place; she mostly spent the night by him. For her home was her sanctuary; she rarely let people inside unless absolutely needed. She thanked Kyeong-ah for the ride home, exited the car and started walking in the direction of Chang Ju. She knocked lightly on the window to let him know she was finally home and started walking up the steps to her house without waiting for him. She needed the few moments before he came in to steel her nerves and get herself ready for the talk, that she realized more than ever she needed to have with him.

JiHyo walked into the living and was putting her bag down on the table when she felt Chang Ju come up and hug her from behind.

“I missed you” he said to her and kissed her on the cheek.

She froze for just a second but tried her best to hide it because the first time ever in their relationship his hug just felt like a hug; not like that blanket of security that it felt like before. It paled in complete comparison to what she felt last night and that scared the out of her. It didn’t make sense how much of an affect Gary had on her; couldn’t be real, this all had to be in her head.

“Me too Oppa. Sorry about last night” replied JiHyo. “How have you been?”

Chang Ju answered, “So so. Very busy but that is what I wanted to talk with you about last night. I know things between of have been a bit cold as of late, especially with the schedules you and I have and I think a large part of that is my fault.”

“No Oppa. What are you talking about” replied JiHyo, starting to feel guilt that he was putting all the blame on himself. Of course she had been thinking the same things over the last few months, but she didn’t feel he was all to blame for that.

Chang Ju held up his hand to get her to pause. “Listen JiHyo…I know you haven’t been tremendously happy as of late with how things are going. We don’t spend as much time together and when we do, we talk about work and then pass out because we barely get time to rest. Lately I have been thinking that we need something to put a spark back into our relationship; so I’ve decided to plan a trip just for the two of us. No work, no friends, just us. Okay?” He pulled two tickets to Thailand out his pocket.

JiHyo didn’t know what to say. Here Chang Ju was trying to fix all the things she thought was going wrong with the relationship and here she was ready to take a break because she was caught up in some attraction to Kang Gary that she really didn’t understand. She had a good man here in Baek Chang Ju and she wasn’t going to let anything or anybody, namely herself, ruin that.

“Yes Oppa, I’d like that.” She took the two tickets from him and gave him the biggest hug she could. JiHyo didn’t want him to see her eyes closed as silently hoped to God that this was exactly what she needed to fix whatever was going on with her.