Listen to: Wherever You Will Go by Charlene Soraia

5 YEARS LATER

Jiyong's POV

"Hey, buddy, what are you doing hiding down here huh?" I crouched down, peeking underneath the table to see our son sniffling underneath the table.

"A..ppa," he hiccupped, his tiny fists coming up to rub his already red eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked, feeling a small pinch in my heart at the sight of my son crying so painfully by himself.

"Appa," he cried out again, crawling out from his hiding space and throwing his tiny arms around my neck as he buried his face into my chest, crying his heart out.

"Hey, what happened," I cooed, rubbing his back gently as I stood up, carrying him in my arms, "Tell Appa what happened."

It took a lot of soothing words and rocking him back and forth before he finally calmed down enough to talk.

"Are you going to tell Appa what happened?" I asked gently, as I wiped the remaining tears away from his face.

"H-hyo bin... he.. he said.." he began, taking large gasps of air in between his words, the crying having taken a toll on his breathing.

"Hyo bin? Isn't he that boy in your kindergarten class?" he gave a little nod, his lip jutting out into a pout, "Aigoo, what did he say hmm?"

His face scrunched up again, a tell tale sign that he was about to burst into tears again, "Han bin-ah, don't cry neh?"

"He.. he.. he said that Omma and Appa don't love me!" he wailed his hands grabbed a hold of the front of my shirt, his hands forming tiny fists as he buried his face into the side of my neck.

I blinked in shock at his words, my brows furrowing, "Why would he say that buddy? Don't cry, you know Omma and Appa love you very much."

"He said that... that.." he murmured something quietly before pushing his face closer to my neck, his grip on my shirt tightening.

"Appa can't hear you Han bin-ah," I leaned back, peeling him away from my neck to look at him, only to see fresh tears streaming down his face.

"He said that because I'm adopted, Omma and Appa don't love me and that you're going to throw me away!" he blurted out as he continued to sniffle, his shoulder shaking up and down as he sobbed.

I stood there, stunned at his words. How did he...?

Five years had passed since the Dara and I had reconciled our marriage, and it was now stronger than ever. Although Dara had signed the divorce papers, I had yet to sign it, so it was never official. The first thing I did was shred that darn paper, making a promise to myself that I would never lay eyes on those papers ever again. The both of us agreed to work on us before we could concentrate on anything else, which lead to me taking a couple of months leave from the company to spend some much needed quality time with my wife. It was one of the better decisions in my life; my love for her grew as each day passed, if that was even possible. We grew even closer than we had before but that didn't mean we didn't have our fights, except this time, we had learnt from our mistakes, and our fights only served to make us grow stronger together.

Our married life was close to perfect - we were just missing that single piece of the puzzle to complete us - a child to complete us. A child we could shower with love. A child that would ensure our love would still go on after we left this world.

We went back to the doctors again, holding onto a single strand of hope that maybe... just maybe they were wrong. Maybe they had incorrectly diagnosed her, maybe they had mixed up the paperwork. It was a long shot and we both knew it. It had been almost a year and there was still no success, despite neither of us using any form of contraception, but we still hoped.

I still vividly remember that day when we had gone to our doctor's appointment hand in hand. I remember the way she had tightly gripped onto my hand as we sat down with baited breath to hear the results. I remember how her face remained blank when the doctors delivered the news - the diagnoses was correct, there was no doubt about it; she had premature ovarian failure.

I remember how my heart had dropped at the news, I remember how I was desperate to know what was on her mind, what she was thinking, whether the confirmation had just tipped her over the edge again. I was expecting her to go crazy, to start crying, but what she did shocked me.

~ Flash back ~

She turned to face me, her lips curved into a soft smile as she squeezed my hand, telling me she was okay before turning back to the doctor to thank him for his time. She got up, giving my hand a small tug, pulling me out of the room. I silently followed her out into the car park, my mind a jumbled mess, confused at her actions. Why wasn't she being hysterical like I had thought?

Still in shock, she pushed me into the passenger seat before getting into the drivers seat. I stared quizzically at her gentle smile, wondering what was up her sleeve.

"Are you... okay?" I asked, afraid that the news had caused something to snap in her mind.

She turned to give me a sweet smile, reaching over to lace our hands together before diverting her eyes back onto the roads, leaving me more confused than ever.

I stared out of the window, curious as to where she was taking me, since this was definitely not the direction of our home. My brows furrowed as I slowly sat up in my seat, the scenery becoming more and more familiar the closer we got to our destination.

"The orphanage?" I asked, turning to look at her as her smile grew wider, but she still said nothing.

It wasn't long before she pulled up outside the aged building, stepping out of the car and walking towards her old home. I got out of the car and slowly approached her, placing my arm around her waist as I watched her trace a small box on the side of the building.

"Do you know what this is?" she asked, turning to look at me with sad eyes.

I shook my head. I had been here more than a hundred times with her but I had never taken notice of the box in the wall until now.

"It's called a baby box."

My brows furrowed as I stared at her, "A baby box?"

She nodded, a sad smile on her face, "It's a box where people can come to put abandoned babies."

I blinked in shock as I turned my gaze to the box, listening to her.

"It was put in place by reverend Lee," she said, affection in her voice as she talked about the man that was like a father to her, "It's supplied with oxygen, and it's constantly kept heated. It has a door on the outside, and one that opens on the inside."

She opened the door, pulling it down to show a small opening, big enough for an infant to be placed in, her hand brushed against the soft bedding before reaching up to touch a small bell hung above it, "This.. it alerts the staff that someone's been left here."

"I.. I can't believe.. I didn't even know this existed," I murmured.

"It happens a lot more than you would think," she said sadly, turning to look at me, "You know Chaerin...?"

I looked at her in disbelief. No way... Chaerin... she...?

"Chaerin was left here. In this very box," she said quietly, "She never even had the chance to meet her parents. At least I... at least I had a few years of happiness with mine.. I guess."

I had always known that Chaerin had lived her whole life in the orphanage, but I never knew this was how her life started - in a box.

She finally turned to look at me her eyes shining with love as she grabbed my hands, interlacing them with her own, "You know... somewhere in the back of mind, I always knew that my diagnoses was right the first time."

I opened my mouth, wanting to tell her differently, but immediately closed it, knowing that there was nothing I said that could change the facts.

"I guess I always knew.. and I've been doing a lot of thinking recently," she continued, "My body... even though it's not capable of bearing a child.. of giving birth. That doesn't mean I can't be a mother."

Her gaze turned to the small box before turning back to me, her eyes twinkling, "Growing up in an orphanage... I know how much it hurts to be abandoned.. to feel alone.. to feel like no one loves you, that no one cares. If I could even change the life of a few children then I want to do it. I want to give them an opportunity to feel the love of a true family."

"You don't need to be blood related, or share genetic material to love someone like they are your own. Like they are family," she said softly.

I stared at her, drowning in the endless display of love that was ever prominent in her eyes, my lips curving up into a grin as I pulled her closer to me, my hand reaching up to cup her cheek, caressing it gently, "You know what Sandara Kwon? You... you are the most beautiful, loving, kind-hearted woman, and you make me the happiest man on earth to be able to call you my wife."

~ End of Flashback ~

A couple months later, our little Han bin came into our lives. It was the typhoon season in South Korea at the time, and the power supply at the orphanage had been cut. Dara was beyond worried when she received a call from Sister Ji Yeon and had immediately demanded we go over to help them with supplies.

The weather was horrendous, there was barely anyone out on the roads since everyone had been instructed to stay indoors to avoid the raging storm of Mother Nature, but we soldiered on and eventually we made it to orphanage.

I remember how chaotic it was in the orphanage, children crying everywhere in fear, many covering their ears from the loud sounds of thunder that seemed to cause the building to shake in fear. It was difficult trying to calm all the children in their hysterics whilst simultaneously trying to cook food for dinner with a lack of water, gas or electricity.

In the midst of all this chaos I remember calling out to Dara to see how she was doing, only to receive no response.

~ Flashback ~

"Dara? How is everything going?" I called out over the crying of a handful of the very young children who were confused as to what was happening. Most of the children had calmed down and grown used to the claps of thunder outside and were now playing around with each as if it were a normal night.

My brows furrowed when I received no response, straightening up and turning around to scan the room for her. That's when I saw her, standing near the wall, her back to me, seemingly concentrated on something.

"Aigoo, Jin Hyukie, I'll be back soon okay? I'm just going to check on your Omma hmmm?" I cooed at the toddler that was sniffling before walking over to see what had caused Dara to stop working.

"Dara?" I called out as I walked closer to her, my brows furrowing when she still didn't respond, I finally reached her, placing my hand on her shoulder as I stood beside her, "Dara? What's wro--"

I paused as my eyes fixed on the small bundle that was lying in the baby box, it's tiny arms flailing around in the air towards Dara, it's tiny fingers clenching and unclenching.

"Uuuuwaaaah," it began to wail, tears falling down it's scrunched up face.

The piercing scream seemed to pull Dara out of her reverie as she instinctively scooped the bundle up into the crook of her arms and began to rock it back and forth, bouncing it slightly "Shhh, shhh, it's okay."

"Aigoo, don't cry," she cooed affectionately as she gently wiped the tears away, "Omma is here, don't cry."

As if it understood her the crying suddenly quelled before the bundle slowly opened its eyes and stared up at her. Dara gasped when their gazes met. The bundle slowly reached up it's small hands, eventually coming into contact with the side of her face, almost caressing it.

Dara gasped again, her eyes welling with tears before she turned her attention to me, "Jiyong..."

I inched closer to her, wrapping one of my arms around her waist as I stared down at the bundle in her arms before cautiously reaching out to caress it's soft cheeks. Upon feeling my touch it's gaze locked with mine. I made a move to pull my hand away when it's other hand instinctively reached out and grabbed my forefinger, clutching onto it with as much strength as it possessed.

I felt my heart explode with an unknown feeling that was similar to the feeling that I got when I would think of Dara.. and yet was so different at the same time.

"I think.. I think it's a boy," she murmured as she gently rocked him in her arms, "I thought I heard the bell.. but it was impossible.. all the electricity is out.. but there was just something that told me I had to check and when I did.. he was lying in there.. fast asleep, oblivious to anything."

"Jiyong..."

I turned, our gazes locking together, our thoughts were one as we diverted our gaze back down to the warm bundle in her arms. The bundle who had captured our hearts, making us fall in love with him at first sight.

"Our Han bin.."

~ End of Flashback ~

Ever since that day, neither of us had looked back. There was a lot of legal procedures involved, many of which made us want to pull our hair out, but eventually he was ours. He was our little baby boy, and we have never regretted it since. He may not have been ours by blood, but we loved him with everything we had, and no matter what others would say he was ours. Our baby boy, and nothing could change that.

"Aigoo... my Han binnie, who told you that hmm?"

I blinked, looking down to see Dara beside me as she reached out, scooping him out of my arms and into hers, "Who told my Han binnie that hmm?"

"Omma!" he wailed nestling into the safety of her arms.

Dara and I had yet to tell him that he was adopted. We had discussed this many times when he was still a baby, unsure as to when we should tell him, or whether we ever should. We didn't want him to feel like he was unwanted by his birth parents, and a selfish part of us were afraid that if he ever found out he would set out to look for them, leaving us behind.

"Aigoo," Dara cooed, rocking him back and forth as she rubbed his back comfortingly, "Don't listen to Hyo bin. Of course, Omma and Appa love you."

"R-really?" he hiccuped, pulling away, "H-how much?"

"How much?" she pretended to think before turning to me, "How much do we love him Appa?"

I grinned holding my hands out as wide as I could stretch them, imitating him when he would illustrate how much he loved us, "We love you THIS much Han binnie!"

He giggled, "Appa is so silly."

"Isn't he?" Dara teased, sticking her tongue out at as I feigned hurt, holding my hand to my chest.

"B.. but.. he.. he said that I'm adopted.." he mumbled his lips twitching downwards.

Dara and I shared a look, unsure as to whether we should deny it or tell him the truth. He may only be four years old, but he was an extremely curious, inquisitive boy. Ever since he started speaking we made it a point to teach him how fortunate he was, that not everyone had what he had. Some would say it was silly teaching these things when he was so young, but with Dara's background, we felt it was an important part of his upbringing, hence why he knew what orphans and adoption was, since he had visited the orphanage on a few occasions too.

Dara let out a sigh, a quick look of defeat crossed her eyes as she turned her gaze back to meet the inquisitive eyes of Han bin, "That's.. true.."

Han bin's lips began to wobble, his eyes shimmering with fresh tears, "Does that mean--"

"But," Dara cut him off pinching his nose cutely, "But that doesn't mean that Omma and Appa love you any less."

"That's right Han bin," I agreed putting one arm around Dara, and the other around him, "Omma and Appa love you so much. You know? You could even say we love you even more. You know why? Because we specifically chose you."

He perked up, his eyes twinkling, "Really?"

Dara grinned, "That's right baby."

He grinned back at her, his smile was so wide that I was surprised his face didn't split in half.

"Omma!" he threw one small arm around her neck, "Appa!" he reached up, throwing the other around my neck, "Han Binnie loves you THIIIIS! MUCH!" he exclaimed before nuzzling his face where Dara and my shoulders met.

The both of us chuckled hugging him back, "We love you too baby."

========

"Han binnie! Let's go play!" Hayi demanded, stomping her foot a little before turning to us, "Uncle, Auntie!"

I held onto Han bin as Dara picked Hayi up giving her a hug, "How is my favourite niece huh?"

She giggled before her bottom lip jutted out into a cute pout, "I'm bored. I want to play! Han bin, let's play!"

I chuckled, reaching out to ruffle her hair as she squirmed away, "Uncleeee!"

Dara and I put the two of them down, smiling when Hayi immediately grabbed onto Han Bin's hand and tugged him towards the garden where everyone was currently enjoying the barbeque in the summer breeze.

"You weren't crying were you?" Hayi said accusingly to Han bin.

He immediately shook his head, his eyes wide, "No!"

"Good," she nodded, "I hate hyo bin! Don't listen to anything he says!"

"Aigoo, Lee Hayi, hate is a strong word, don't say that!" Dara chastised the young girl. She was just under a year older than Han Bin and was extremely mature for her age, seeing as Chaerin was her mother and Dara was her favourite aunt, this came as no surprise.

"But!" she protested, "He's so annoying! He keeps bugging me in class and pulling my hair!"

"Yeah! I don't like him either!" Han bin suddenly chimed in, smiling up at Hayi who was slightly taller than him.

Dara and I shared a look before bursting out into laughter. Aigoo... kids.

"Hayi, your burger's ready!" Seungri popped his head into the room, calling out to his daughter, his eyes sparkling when he saw their joined hands, "There's one for you to Hyo bin."

"Yayy!" they both cried out before running out into the garden, hand in hand with us following closely behind.

"Dara-ah, here, I saved this for you," Chaerin passed a plate of wings to her before passing one to me, "You too, Oppa."

"Aigoo, Chaerin-ah, you shouldn't be standing up, sit down, sit down!" Dara chastised her, guiding her back to her seat despite her obvious reluctance.

"But I hate sitting down!" Chaerin moaned, grumbling, "Besides! It's only the first trimester!"

"Are you sure Chaerin? You're looking kind of--"

I immediately closed my mouth when she glared at me, daring me to finish the sentence.

"Glowing! You look glowing!" I exclaimed nervously. Although it had been five years, I knew she was still bearing remnants of hatred against me for what I had done to Dara, and I didn't blame her. It just showed how much she loved and cared for my wife, and I couldn't ask for anything more. It was reassuring to know there was someone who cared for Dara as much as myself.

It took a lot.. and I mean a lot of convincing from Dara before she accepted that Dara had forgiven me and we were together again. That didn't mean she made it easy on me though. Damn. I never knew pregnant women could be so mean!

I was grateful though. She insisted that Dara be with her every step of the way through her pregnancy with Hayi. She said it was the only thing she could do for her - allowing her to experience pregnancy through her, so that she wouldn't miss out on any part of mother hood. She even insisted that Dara be in the delivery room with her and Seungri. She wanted Dara to be one of the first people to hold her daughter - her daughter that she also considered to be Dara's.

"Bear with it Chae," Dara cooed, patting her head, only for Chaerin to grumble and swat it away.

She crouched down, placing her hand on Chaerin's slightly protruding stomache, "I can't wait to meet you."

"How's Hayi coping with the fact that she'll no longer be the only child huh?" I asked nudging Seungri before grabbing a beer from the table.

Seungri snorted, "She's over the moon. Super excited that she'll have someone to play with all the time."

"Must be a handful... two girls," I chuckled behind my beer. Seungri had eventually plucked up the courage to propose to Chaerin - he had popped the question in the delivery room shortly after Hayi had been born - and the two had been happily married ever since then.

Seungri glared at me before he grinned, rolling his eyes, "Nah, it's great. I have a beautiful Queen and a gorgeous little Princess. What more could I ask for? I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a Prince though. Those two girls can be a lethal combo."

"YAH! Seungri! Get me a drink! I'm thirsty!"

"Appaaaaa! I want another burger!"

I laughed, patting Seungri on the back, "If Chaerin's your queen and Hayi is your little princess, you must be the royal servant."

"Shut up," he grumbled but a soft smile was on his face before he walked off to attend to his two favourite girls.

"Omo! Dara-ah!"

I spun around upon hearing the alarmed voice of Chaerin, my eyes immediately locking on the figure of my wife, keeled over near the fence, vomiting.

I quickly strode over to her, placing an arm around her waist to support her as I pulled her hair out of her face before gently rubbing her back in a circular movement, "Babe? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Omma?"

I looked down to see Han bin looking at Dara worriedly, his hand clutching onto the bottom of her shirt.

Dara straightened up, grabbing the napkin that Chaerin handed her to wipe before giving us a reassuring smile. She leaned over to scoop Han bin up, securing him against her hip before wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Omma's fine," she smiled at him.

"What was that?" I asked her, continuing to rub her back soothingly.

Her brows knitted together briefly, before straightening out again as she shrugged, "Probably some dodgy food from the barbeque."

"YAH! Lee Seungri! You better be cooking this food properly!" I threatened, shooting him a glare.

He gave me a disapprovingly look, waving the spatula around in outrage, "Of course! I can't be feeding my pregnant wife and the kids undercooked food! Aish! Seriously Hyung!"

"Yah! This punk," I called out, shaking my fist at him mockingly.

Dara chuckled at our exchange, leaning her head on my shoulder, "Aigoo, you two."

"Are you really okay?" I asked, peering down at her worriedly.

She nodded as she looked down at Han bin who was now sleeping, having tired himself out after playing with Hayi, before looing up at me, her eyes shining with unadultered happiness, "I'm fine. I'm more than fine. I'm happy Jiyong. Thank you. For everything. For tolerating me.. for staying with me.. for loving me."

My eyes softened as I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arms around her, a sleeping Hanbin wedged in between us, "Thank you for being my wife, for opening my eyes to real happiness, for giving me the opportunity to have such a loving family. I love you Dara.. so much."

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go

THE END.

Author's Note:

Annyeong my beautifuls,

Sorry this chapter doesn't quite follow the same format as the other chapters as I only used the lyrics at the end since it's more about two people being seperated rather than being together >.< Also, I hope none of you are too disappointed with the ending, since i'm sure a lot of you wanted Dara to be able to have kids, but I wanted to portray the story as realistically as possible.

I know in most fanfics Dara's bestfriend, or sister is usually Bom, and as much as I love the Park sisters (they are just adorable little aliens together), I absolutely adore the relationship Dara and CL have together. In my mind CL is extremely protective of Dara, and vice versa. I just love having CL as Dara's main girl in stories hehe.

In case any of you are interested, the title of this fanfic 'This isn't who we are' originates from a song by YouTuber J-Reyez. I think the lyrics match the fanfic quite well and the Music Video is a tear-jerker... It's a really great song and I would appreciate it if you would check it out here - i'll also be posting it in the foreword too.

So, I guess it's time... I'm very sad to say that this is the end of 'This isn't who we are'. I want to say a huge thank you to...

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sandaragon, annoyingiddiot, Ryoaboo, PamelaGumamela, angeltam7, mekachiri, ren15ee, MizzNini

Also, thank you to any future readers and any silent readers out there for taking the time to read ^^

[Sorry if I spelled anyone's username wrong or missed anyone out!! >.<]

Facts used in the fanfic:

The 'baby box' is something real. I'm not too sure where it originated from, but a church in South Korea has one. I think it's amazing that they are keeping abandoned babies safe, as many are abandoned on the streets which is extremely dangerous as they could get hypothermia or pneumonia and pass away over night in the cold. If you want to read more about it there's an article here.

Also, in case any of you are curious about Dara's disease:

"Premature ovarian failure (POF), also called primary ovarian insufficiency, occurs when a woman's ovaries stop working before the age of 40, and it can develop as early as the teenage years. It is not the same as premature menopause, which is when periods stop before the age of 40. Women with POF may still have their periods but they may be irregular. Women with premature ovarian failure may have few or no eggs, or have eggs that do not develop properly, and they may experience menopause-like symptoms, and have difficulty becoming pregnant." - Source.

Dara vomitting at the end... I thought I would leave it open ended for those of you disappointed that she can't have children, which is not necessarily true. A very small percentage of women can still get pregnant.. so.. take it as you will ^^

Again, thank you SO much for taking the time to read this fanfic. Until next time?

~Water Phoenix