<><><><>  I draw a line above a dot like an exclamation point, secretly, I think of you;<><><><>

N’s POV

I, Cha Hakyeon, have rarely felt any genuine anger towards Taekwoon. He just is the type of person to keep his actions to himself as much as possible (except for those random times he’s almost drunk and turns into an aegyo monster) while I easily let go of most things that bother me.

I repeat, most things.

Choi In-Young has been and is the exception. The former KPOPSTAR winner had come into the company, way to young for my taste, but still had a shine that I couldn’t ignore.

<><><><> I just can't explain it, I'm fall in love <><><><>

N’s POV ---- 3 years ago

“Sunpaeneem, hello.” She greeted me with a bright smile, nervousness making her accent  more pronounced. I smiled at her too, walking past her with Wonshik and the others.

“Technically guys, she’s the sunbae.” Wonshik told us, I looked at him.

“What? She looks like a new trainee though.” He shook his head.

“She is a new trainee, but she just won KPOPSTAR.” My eyes pretty much got as big as possible at that point.

“That was Emma Choi?” I almost didn’t recognize her, she had such a soft voice and barely had had the courage to look us in the eye before walking past. And I didn’t realize she was this tall, especially for a 16-year old.

“Is she tha good?” Taekwoon asked, he rarely watched shows unless it was neccessary for a program, and KPOPSTAR was relatively new so he had no idea if it was a prestigious show.

“Come here, I’ll show you her winning performance.” Wonshik told us, pulling out his phone when we were in the practice room.

“She covered And One by Taeyeon-sunbae.” He had pulled up the video and I swear, my jaw had opened even before the song began.

It was hard to believe that the girl who had bowed to us, almost as if she was frightened because she ran away so quickly, could stand so boldly on this stage in almost plain clothes but instantly draw ther viewer in.

Her eyes, heavy with eyeliner and fake lashes and lips so pink they looked photoshopped, but something about her was completely genuine in her sad smile, baby face, and her voice.

I couldn’t believe her voice, it was so sad, but so addictive. Like a mythological voice because it had a trance like ability in how it made the listener just want to hear more, no matter how sorrowful the song was.

When the song was over, the five of us at the time had just sat back in silence.

“She’s should be our sunbae.” Taekwoon surprisingly was the one to break the silence.

“What’s even more surprising is that she signed with this Jellyfish, she got offers from all the big three. SM  actually gave her an offer unlike other seasons.” I was even more surprised at that, there was no way that someone here would turn down an offer from Lee Soo-Man’s company, that’s an instant ticket into stardom if you debut from there.

“Are you sure Wonshik? That seems pretty hard to believe.” I told him, not able to believe that any teenage girl would turn down an offer from JYPE, YG, and SME.

“Yeah, they all offered her solo careers but in an interview she revealed she wanted to go here because she wanted to be in a group.

“Well she’s obviously solo material, I wonder when she’ll debut then, we don’t have that many female trainees right now.” Hongbin thought aloud.

“I doubt we’ll debut before her, the company probably wants to ride off the fame she’s getting from this win as much as possible.” I reasoned, no way that this non-big three company would let her popularity go to  waste.

<><><><> Sometimes days like this just have me feeling good <><><><>

N’s POV ---- 2 years ago

The following year during our debut preperations, when our voice trainer was pressed for time also, I would see her more often because she would often have lessons right after the boys. Me being last usually meant I bumped into her when I was leaving.

“Sunbaenim, hello.” She greeted me.

“O-oh, hello.” I hadn’t been expecting anyone that day, but she was there, at 9 o’clock for her voice lesson.

“Congradulations on your debut.” I was surprised even more, this was the first time she had spoken more than a greeting to me since the last company showcase, but we had been forced to work together.

“Oh thank you!” I meant to try to say something more, but I was so distracted by her eyes, how they seemed to sparkle in the dingy hallway lights, that I wasn’t able to think of anything more to say before she entered the lesson room.

That happened almost every week for 3 months, me meeting her after practice, us exchanging a few words

“Your Korean has improved a lot.”

“MyDol was really interesting, sunbae.”

“Your latest ad campaign was the best, Emma-shi.” Around a month before our debut, In-Young had gotten a huge health drink campaign, much more popularized because of her dramatic weightloss during and after KPOPSTAR.

“Sunbaenim, you can just call me In-Young. That’s what the other trainees call me.” I was quite happy that day and for the whole week after, finally being able to feel the gap closing between us.

<><><><> The more that time goes by, the more I lose my head <><><><>

N’s POV ---- 10 months before

“Hey, Yeo-na. How’s In-Young been doing?” I asked her in passing one day at the practice rooms. It had been a few months since our debut and I hadn’t seen In-Young since that day she had told me to call her by her name.

“She’s doing really well, now that her dancing is really moving I think the company is thinking more about putting her in a leadership position.” I was surprised, only Yuna and Ji-Young were the female trainee leaders, and it had taken them a good 3 years with the company.

“Well keep me posted, and keep up the hard work.” Yeo-na had come into the company almost right after me so we were the closest among any of the trainees.

“Yes, sir.” She said jokingly.

So like that, distantly, I got to see In-Young grow into the young leader of the trainees. Easily coming out on top with her natural vocals, and then using her agile athletic body to dance both powerfully and captivatingly like the other seasoned dancers. Once she had started her junior year of high school, I finally started coming to the conclusion that even after almost two years of not seeing her constantly, In-Young was the one for me.

Those short times I could peek at her through the windows of the practice rooms were the highlights of some of my weeks. She glowed no matter when I saw her, maybe hunched over from exhaustion, dripping with sweat, taking a quick nap on the practice room floor, I never thought of her as unappealing.

Once, when I caught her napping right before the group had to leave, I went into the room. Inside were the 5 others now part of Sage6 and I quickly said hi to Yeo-na, Ji-Young, and Yuna whom I’d known the longest. I chatted quickly with them, wanting to see what was up.

“This is the group for the next showcase?” I asked, thinking that could be the only motivation behind putting the 4 of them in a group together, the company’s leaders that is.

“Yup, and we’ll tell you something that even the youngesters don’t know.” Ji-Young pulled me in closer to the gathering so she could whisper in our ears. “We might debut next year.”

“I still heard that.” Taeyeon said from across the room where both In-Young and the other girl were sleeping on her shoulders.

“Oops,” Yeo-na then lowered her voice, “And In-Young is going to be the leader.”

“Wha-wha-what?” I asked, so surprised, I spoke loudly enough to wake up other girl who wasn’t In-Young that was sleeping on Taeyeon’s shoulder.

“Well it’s not that surprising, she’s worked way to hard to get less. And she places first for both dance and vocals at the end of every evaluation.” Ji-Young said matter-of-factly.

“On the other hand, did you tell Hakyeon about that?” Yuna asked Yeo-na, nodding her head towards In-Young.

The other two cracked up and Yeo-na shook her head no.

“Oh my god, you wouldn’t believe what In-Young put up in our dorm last Sunday.” Yeo-na couldn’t breathe properly so she let Yuna do the rest of the talking.

“She went out shopping with Nina because it was our off day and you know how when you buy an album, they let you pick a poster, right?.” I nodded, “Well she went and bought VIXX’s new Voodoo album, and keep in mind she already had one from the company but no poster, and when she bought the new one, Nina saw her ask directly for Taekwoon-oppa’s poster!”

I can still remember that day perfectly.

And now, seeing the two of them come in and sitting together, looking much cosier than at the recording, my mind went to what I had said to Taekwoon less than an hour ago.

“I like her, I’ve liked her for the last 2 years. I know you don’t like her or anything, but I thought you should know since she’s your partner. After the end of this program, I’m going to ask In-Young out.”

He had remained silent, making me think he had no objections. But when I met his eyes as he walked into the restaurant with In-Young, they said something else.

I like her too.

<><><><> I don't need anything else, I don't like anything that's not you<><><><>