Twelve - September

When I got the text from Yixing to meet him on the beach a week later after the whole fiasco, I knew that something was wrong. The text was short and straight to the point, without the usual smiley face or heart attached. This was the first time I'd heard from Yixing since, too. All of my calls and texts had gone unanswered. Kris had processed me out of school here, so I had never gone back when the new semester started. My notebooks and backpack remained all packed and ready in a corner. 

Everybody knew now. They all knew that I was a fake, and that I was here under protection from the government. The others all understood; it was a life or death situation, and I did what had to be done. 

I’d asked about Yixing, but Lu Han just gave me an uncertain look. “He’ll understand too,” he said, softly. “It’s just...different for him than this is for us.”

Lu Han didn’t need to explain further.  

It was a chilly autumn day, windy and cloudy. I made sure to wrap a cardigan around myself before I left the house, but still found myself shivering when I approached Yixing, sitting on a big rock along an inlet in the shore. 

Although Yixing did not know it yet, this was one of my last days in Jeju. My father had called two days ago to tell Kris that everything in Seoul was settled and that it was safe for me to return. I had already told the others, but had not been able to get in touch with Yixing. I was leaving the island in less than four days, and I had no idea where things stood between us anywhere. 

Yixing must have heard me approach because he moved over soundlessly, making room for me to sit down next to him. We sat in silence for a moment, gazing out at the crystal blue waters under the dull gray sky. 

“Who are you?” he finally asked, still not looking at me. “Tell me everything; I need to understand.”

So I did. I told him about the soccer game when it all started, and about my father and Kris. I told him about moving to Jeju, and about meeting him and falling in love with him even though I was warned against it. 

“There was no way around it,” I said, pleadingly. I reached out for his arm, but Yixing flinched away. “If they had gotten information on where I was, I would have been in danger and everyone around me would have been too. I couldn’t tell anyone, not even you.”

“So you just lied to me, and watched me act like a fool?” Yixing’s fists were clenched in anger. “For months and months, you let me believe that you were Lee Jungah. You let me fall for her, why? Why did you lead me on when it was always going to end this way - with the truth coming out? ”

“I never meant to lie to you or to hurt you, you have to understand that,” I said, closing my eyes. I wished, for a moment, that when I opened them, Yixing would be looking at me with eyes full of love again instead of anger and betrayal. No such luck.

“Understand?” Yixing let out a derisive laugh, and my eyes snapped open. “I’ve just been lied to for the past five and a half months, Kim Hyojung. I can never trust you again, don’t you get it?”

Yixing seemed to run out of steam at that point, and his rant faded to silence. He turned his stony gaze back to the sea. “I can’t love you anymore,” he concluded. He stood up, brushed sand away from his leg, and walked away, leaving a newly broken heart in his wake.  

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter