Droplets of rain tap gently at the window pane, the sound muted by the sizzling of a skillet and the loud chopping of a knife against a cutting board. Chaerin doesn’t realize it’s been raining until she looks up over at the young man in a grey suit sitting at a small table by the window. He’s got one long leg crossed over the over, hands clasped together on his knee as he watches her. His hair is swept up neatly away from his face but his eyes are tired after working for long hours. His expensive suit is pressed and immaculate as he adjusts his pocket square, his gold Rolex glittering as it catches rays of light from the lamp in the kitchen.

“Shouldn’t you go get changed?” Chaerin asks, feeling slightly self conscious in her t-shirt and cutoff denim shorts with her light brown hair messily thrown up in a bun.

“You don’t need any help?” He gets up from his perch by the window, looking over her shoulder at the pots and pans on the stove top.

“No, I’m almost done so get changed and everything will be ready when you come back.” She shoos him away and gets back to preparing dinner. When he walks back into the kitchen Chaerin is busily moving dishes into the small dining area, carefully arranging the colorful foods on the table with a vase of fresh flowers. He silently helps her carry the food, now dressed comfortably in a white t-shirt and rolled up sweat pants.

“Why did you make so much?” He finally asks as he sits down beside the table, looking up at her through his long eyelashes.

“It’s for Youngbae,” Chaerin says simply as she sits down across from him.

“Is this supposed to be a memorial? Shouldn’t we bow to the tablet first?” He asks sardonically as he picks at the food on the table.

“Oppa, why are you being like this? It’s Youngbae’s birthday, we always celebrate every year. He’s our friend!”

Jiyong sits unperturbed as he plucks a petal from one of the flowers arranged in the vase.

"Chae, I think it’s time that you move on and accept that he’s never coming back. It’s been over ten years. Lighting another candle every year won’t change the fact that you get older with every birthday and Youngbae can’t.”

“No,” Chaerin says stubbornly through gritted teeth, tears stinging at her eyes. She refuses to cry. If she cries then she admits that everything Jiyong says is true. “You’re wrong, oppa. He’s alive, he has to be alive.” She’s angry now, slamming her fist down on the wooden table and storming off into the kitchen. Jiyong knows that the anger isn’t really meant for him, it’s the only way she knows how to deal with her grief. They had been friends nearly their entire lives and before Youngbae disappeared the three of them had been inseparable. For the most part Chaerin and Jiyong had been able to move on, becoming closer than ever. Chaerin moved into Jiyong’s two bedroom apartment after she found a job and two lived together happily. Jiyong knew that she hadn’t completely forgotten their friend, though, especially on nights like these when his memory still bled like a fresh wound.

“I’m so sorry, Chae. I didn’t mean any of that, you know I miss him too.” He murmurs as he walks up behind her as she stares at a decorated cake sitting prettily on the countertop. Dong Youngbae would be twenty-five this year, which meant that it wasn’t long until Jiyong would be turning the same age. He wrapped his long arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder as Chaerin lit the candles on the cake. They blow out the candles, Jiyong leaning over Chaerin to reach the cake.

“Happy birthday, Youngbae-ah.”

Chaerin cuts the cake and brings it to Jiyong, sitting down next to him on the couch as they watch dramas and drink beer. She attempts to get up after forgetting to bring forks and Jiyong pulls her back down, feeding her cake with his fingers. The younger girl tries to protest but ends up laughing as he tries to feed her again, getting icing on her nose and chin. The two friends wrestle trying to cram cake into each others mouths, laughing hysterically and making a mess until a special news report interrupts them.  

“An unidentified body of a young boy has been found along the bank of the Han River…”

Chaerin pauses, suddenly becoming very quiet. She doesn’t move, doesn’t say anything, just blankly stares at the words on the screen. It isn’t Youngbae, Chaerin knows that, but she still can’t help but wonder any time a body is found. She yells at Jiyong for thinking their missing friend is dead but she knows she isn’t any better. Jiyong stands up and turns off the television, leaving the room to dump the rest of the cake in the trash bin.

The sun shines down on Chaerin as she stumbles after Jiyong, her sweaty hand desperately gripping onto his as if he’ll fly away if she lets go. Their giggles float into the crisp summer air like the big fluffy clouds in the vast blue sky as they play in the field outside of the Lee family home. Jiyong had caught Chaerin in the game of hide and seek moments after he had counted down from ten, not able to miss her pigtails peeking out from behind a tree.

“Youngbae oppa, where are you?” Little Chaerin calls out as Jiyong suggests they split up to find him. At the foot of a hill surrounded by tall grass she finds him sleeping peacefully, a halo of wildflowers outlining his still body. “Oppa, wake up, I found you,” Chaerin shakes Youngbae’s body, his lips curled into a small smile but his skin is so cold. He isn’t sleeping. “Oppa, please wake up. Wake up!”

He’s dead.

Chaerin bolts up in bed, her entire body shaking. She cries into her sheets, the tears flowing and flowing like they’ll never stop. Her heart beats painfully in her chest and she wonders how a dream could feel so real. It’s almost summer but her room feels so cold, goosebumps raising along her bare skin, her eyes having poured all of the tears in her body. Not wanting to be alone, Chaerin walks across the hallway to Jiyong’s room. She opens his door slowly and peeks in to see him laying down with his back facing her. Exhausted and lonely, she crawls into his bed silently, letting the warmth take over her.

“Chae?” Jiyong’s voice is quiet as he rolls over to face her, not having to been able to sleep either. His heart breaks at her swollen eyes and shaking shoulders. She tries to say something but he places a finger over her lips to shush her. Jiyong wraps his arms around his scared friend, rubbing her back to soothe her until she falls asleep against his chest. “Goodnight, Hunchae, everything will be alright.” He whispers, pressing his lips to her forehead and closing his eyes even though he knows he won’t be getting any rest that night with her sleeping body breathing gently in his bed.

- - -

Author's Note: Hi there! I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, look forward to another update soon! Thank you to everyone who has subscribed so far, it really means a lot to me and the comments keep me going!