❖Days in L♥ VE - Review and Prompt Shop

Review #1| Paradisezxc 

Telling Chunji Goodbye

My Reviewing Critiques

(It's in the reviewing section, read it if you haven't! ^^)

Title: 10 points out of 15

Title is one of the most important things to consider when it comes to writing. Because it decides whether people will click the story or not.

The title "Telling Chunji Goodbye" is not bad itself and it is kind of interesting. It just kinda gives off about how the story will progess. The title kinda gives some hints about sadness, angst.The title is good yet I can't it so amazing either.

Don't mind me! ^^ I'm not good with naming too and I'm planning to rename this shop later.

Description & Foreword: 15 points out of 20

I found your description is really good though it couldn't be graded as excellent.

And most importantly, I can't seem to understand why there is even a need to use layout here. :(

Chunji and L.Joe made a perfect couple; everyone was jealous of them. They rarely fought and they didn’t even get close to breaking up because they loved and trusted each other.

Chunji was hospitalized; the doctor had run some tests to find out what Chunji had fallen ill with and with that, a life-changing result came to their lives.

What was the result? Would the both of the be able to overcome this obstacle? Would their love become stronger because of this? Or… fade away? Would Chunji be able to live happily and most importantly, healthy again?

This foreword of yours is alright. It is not so good yet not so bad itself. A life-changing result came to their lives. This is the most interesting phrase in your description. It made me wonder what would happen to chunji. What kind of disease did he have? Would he die? and so on...

Flow and Plots: 15 points out of 20

As you see, juding from your foreword, I thought this story is going to be really angsty. I was expecting a deathly scene from the very first chapter. But yeahhh... Fluffy scene in the 1^st chapter is not bad either.

This story flows well, it's all in order, it's not really confusing.

It is well explained though I can't seem to understand some parts.

Anyways, about your plots, It wasn't a big disappointment I felt, just a little bit like... hmm what to say? Just kind of different from what I had expected?

I was expecting a really angsty twists. But Fluffy chapters are not a total letdown either. I understand that you want the readers to feel their love. How much they love each other. How much they wouldn't be able to live without being next to each other. I know that. But all those fluffy chapters just don't help the plots much. It doesn't make the readers cry their hearts out.

You know, the first thing people came to assume about your story when they first read the title and the description was the deathly scene. I know there are times when your story focuses more on the illness. But... maybe just not enough? I didn't cry reading yours. I doubt why. Maybe it is not angsty enough since there is a lot of fluff?

In my opinions, I guess it would be a bit better if you started the story with chunji already in hospital, in a death bed all alone, and with him reflecting all on those sweet romance times he shared with L.joe. He was all alone in a hospital with an unknown disease roaming in his body. He couldn't go outside. He could only stay on his bed, not able to do anything. He didn't know how much time left for him to live. However, that wasn't what make him feel gloomy, it was the fact that L.joe wasn't by his side. He didn't know whether they had officialy broken up or not since the day chunji told him to leave when he found out about his incurable sickness.

That would make this fanfic more angsty, more mysterious and some people would cry their hearts out reading it, I guess?

Originality: 10 points out of 20

Actually, there is so many stories similar to yours everywhere. Though I doubt it is well written as yours. ^^

Grammar & Spelling Errors: 12 points out of 15

Maybe there is some mistakes but I didn't really notice. As I said in the reviewing section, I don't really care much about grammar and spelling errors. Just not so much that annoys me will be okay.

Nevertheless, I can see you're pretty good in writing English.

However, there was one thing that really got on my nerves. There was not a lot but it did really really annoy me. It was because of your writing styles in some chapters. The dialouges and narratives were crammed together. and seriously, it is not what I really like.

Here it is,

It made me feel dizzy reading. Next time, you update next chapter, please put more interest in indention.

Because of this, I deducted you 3 points because it really got on my nerves. You know? I'm not really into reading stories which gave me headaches. ^^

Enjoyment: 6 points out of 10

No explanations or reasons to tell you! Just because.... That's how I liked it. ^^

Total: 68 points out of 100

*** Notes: Did I sound like a nagging grandmother? Sorry, I'm quite picky! ^^

*** Reviewed stories with 90 points and above will be in featured section.