On the day that Jongin had extra work, he dropped by Seungja High to meet up with someone during his break time because Kimbum wouldn’t be at the office at that time anyway. He came to the school in his messy attire, giving less effort to appear at his best. He was really exhausted at that time, but he had to look forward for the day because he wasn’t going to go home anyways with the whole pile of work waiting for him back at the office.

 

Just as he reached the school building, he took in the air as if the school had a smell that he longed for. Memories of his school years started haunting him once again. It felt as if it has been ages since he last tasted freedom, but in reality, it was just a year and a half ago. He missed the times where he could just run around the school, covered in sweat, and smiles. He missed when people around him were just laughing, and having fun.

 

Now he feels like he’s just trapped in a suffocating snowglobe – cold and all alone, getting engulfed by snow (his workload). Everyone around him thinks that he enjoys doing his work, that he’s passionate of his work. However, reality is otherwise. Yes, he does enjoy his job. He just hates the workload, and the fact that he’s his oldest hyung’s assistant. No, he doesn’t hate his hyung, he just doesn’t like being ordered around by him, and carrying the responsibility and possibility of also getting fired despite being siblings.

 

He walked down familiar halls, looking around for that someone. As he walked by classes, he realized that he has no idea what class Myungsoo or Mingyu is in anymore. He realizes the little attention he has ever paid to Mingyu, let alone Myungsoo. Even though he was somewhat deep in thought, he could still feel the stares and whispers of the current students.

 

“Yah, isn’t that Myungsoo’s brother?” a girl blurted out.

“Really?” the other girl beside her exclaimed, after she whispered, “I thought he’s Suzy’s boyfriend?”

 

With that, Jongin turned and glared at the girls before bumping into someone – who turns out to be Mingyu. “Hyung!! What are you do-”

 

“Do you know what class Suzy is in?” Jongin cut him off without noticing what he was about to ask. “Can you get her for me? I’ll be at the rooftop,” he said hurriedly, leaving a piece of paper in Mingyu’s hands before he walked off.

 

Mingyu rolled his eyes in disappointment, yet again he just had to see his brother walk away from him. He doesn’t even know Suzy is in the same class as Myungsoo. He hurried off to find Suzy, sacrificing his own break time. As soon as he reached the class, he retrieved stares from Myungsoo, who was wondering what was his brother doing in his class.

 

Myungsoo chuckled lowly as if in ridicule when Mingyu walked up to Suzy to pass her a slip of paper. Suzy beamed, recognizing who Mingyu was right away. She was about to ask where was Jongin, but he walked away just before she could even question. Instead, she just unfold the paper to see what it was.

 

Hey honey. Meet me at the rooftop? - Jongin.

 

As soon as she read that, she jumped up and rushed to the rooftop, leaving her things behind – making Myungsoo roll his eyes. In no time, Suzy reached the rooftop and approached Jongin from the back. Hugging him excitedly she exclaimed, “Oppa! You came!”

 

Jongin turned around and hug Suzy’s waist, pecking her lips. “Yes I’m here. For a little while only though. Do you want to stay over my house tomorrow night when I come home?” he smiled, looking at Suzy who gave him a confused look in return. “Well, Mingyu and Kimbum are leaving Gyeonggi for a bit, and Myungsoo wouldn’t come home knowing that. So, yeah.” he grinned happily – something Suzy dearly missed.

 

“Are you going to pick me up tomorrow?” Suzy smiled, nodding indicating acceptance.

 

Jongin simply nodded before sending Suzy back to class. As soon as he reached her class, he got slightly shocked when he saw Kimbum and Myungsoo coming out of the class with his teacher. Just then, Mingyu was coincidentally there too since his next class was just beside Myungsoo’s. The four brothers stood still. Myungsoo glared sharply at Jongin. They looked at each other before Kimbum grabbed Myungsoo’s wrist and pulled him away from the scene, walking off to the teacher’s office.

 

Mingyu sighed heavily in slight embarrassment and left straight for his class. While Jongin simply left Suzy and rushed back to work before Kimbum does. On the way back, Jongin gets caught up in his own thoughts. After earlier, he realized just how long it has been ever since he last talked to Myungsoo. Even though it was since before that the two brothers didn’t get along that well, things just worsened as Jongin graduates.

 

Myungsoo doesn’t crave for Jongin’s attention, but he doesn’t get why a brother, two years younger than him could act so cold to his hyung. He hates Jongin’s attitude towards him, and whenever questioned, Myungsoo always compares Jongin to Mingyu.

 

The only times that Myungsoo and Jongin talk is when their parents are around since they are practically unaware of the feud and rivalry amongst the brothers. True enough, Myungsoo and Jongin are the two brothers that get along the least. And as year passes, Jongin has more reasons why added to his list.

 

As for now, one of Jongin’s reasons for envying Myungsoo is his freedom, compared to the workload he has. Other than that, it’s the fact that Kimbum cares about him. At work, Kimbum doesn’t seem to matter if Jongin looked like he is half-dead, or he evidently couldn’t cope. However, everytime Jongin is at home, he would hear the noises and bickering of Kimbum and Myungsoo – telling Myungsoo to buck up, and drop the attitude and his view about Jongryu. And yes, Jongryu. Last but not least, Jongin truly envied Myungsoo because he was able to lead Jongryu. Being a younger brother that graduated earlier than his hyung did, it meant never had the chance, and never will have the chance to lead Jongryu.

 

Jongin doesn’t know when all the crap he went and is going through will ever end. But he sure does know something  – he doubts that he can ever withstand things any longer, with just Suzy being his happiness.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Slamming his lockers shut, Taejun walked towards the main entrance to meet the rest of Jayone. He absent-mindedly bit his lips as he thought of what happened the other day.

 

“If I ever find you or Eden coming up with such bull again, you won’t find yourself in one piece.”

 

He frowned as he wondered what Myungsoo meant. He shook the thought away and quickened his pace, turning around the corner only to bump into Eden’s tall frame. He looked up and grinned as Eden hung an arm around his shoulder and ushered him to the entrance. Deciding that this was the best time to ask him, he casually brought up the topic.

 

“ So, anything up between Sumin and you lately?”

 

“ Well unless being rejected counts, no, nothing.”  he shrugged before turning to face Taejun.

 

“ I was thinking - ”

 

“ Did you get beaten up by Myungsoo?! ” Eden exclaimed as he noticed a huge purple bruise tainting Taejun’s face.

 

Sighing in defeat, Taejun replied firmly, “ You know we rarely fight so please don’t confront Myungsoo. Doing that just causes more problems. And… ” Taejun hesitated before completing his sentence. “ I know it’s hard but… I think you should try to let go of Sumin. ”

 

“ I won’t. ” Eden replied before mumbling his reply to the second sentence “ And I can’t… ”

 

As soon as they reach the entrance, they were greeted by the sight of Hyungseok and Wonho bickering over who was better looking. “I definitely have nicer eyes than you.” Hyungseok stated matter-of-factly.

 

“Oh please, I’ve seen eyes better than yours… Like mine.” Wonho argued.

 

Smirking, Eden strolled up the the two bickering idiots and placed an arm around each of them. “Don’t get so stressed over who’s better guys, remember, there’s always me.” he interrupted in mock sympathy. Taejun shook his head and chuckled at their immaturity. He stopped in his tracks when he looked straight ahead, witnessing a sight he could not bring himself to believe. Up ahead, Jaehyo was seen having what seemed like an interesting conversation with someone Taejun recognized well – one of Jongryu’s first generation member, Cha Hakyeon. He frowned in confusion. He didn’t really want to know why they were together but he was afraid that Myungsoo had asked Hakyeon to go after one of the Jayone members. He felt chills down his spine but he doesn’t know why.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“I can’t let you lead Jongryu anymore,” Kimbum announced, as they left the teacher’s office. Myungsoo stared at Kimbum like it was the most ridiculous thing humans could ever say. “I am being serious, Myungsoo. If you can’t treat Jongryu the way I did, and also do well in your studies. You would have to stop leading – or even quit Jongryu.  Mingyu will take the lead.”

 

“That bast– no! Mingyu can’t lead Jongryu. Hyung stop bothering with my life!” Myungsoo screamed out of frustration. “Stop acting like you care when you don’t, Hyung! Just keep your eyes on Mingyu and Jongin. They need more attention than I do. I hate it, I hate the attention you give me! I might seem like I crave attention but it’s not from you, hyung!”

 

Myungsoo’s words hurt Kimbum somehow. He never knew he could anger Myungsoo that badly. Not knowing how to react from Myungsoo’s sudden outburst, he simply replied, not wanting to show his weakness, and look like he lost to him. “What do you mean?"

 

“Do you know why I’m doing this, hyung? I, for once, just want the teachers to call up Umma and Appa, to complain every single thing I have done in school. Every negative thing, every bad grade I have ever gotten. I want Umma to nag at how disobedient I have been.  I want Appa to hit me for being such a disgrace to the family. That’s what I want hyung. I want them to care! I want to know that I still ing exist,” Myungsoo grit his teeth, tears threatening to fall.

 

At this, Kimbum stayed silent – so silent he could hear Myungsoo’s heavy breathing caused by his overwhelming anger. He didn’t know how he should react because honestly he never knew that was what Myungsoo wanted. Besides that, he never knew that Myungsoo craved their parents’ attention that much. He never knew that Myungsoo wanted love from their parents – he always thought that all Myungsoo ever wanted was to be alone. However, at the same time, he was really disappointed at Myungsoo’s outburst. He never liked it when a younger brother speaks like this to him – and by far, this was the worst.

 

“I’m going to Jeju with your brother for a few days, or maybe just one. I’m not sure, but for those days, calm yourself down. I don’t mean to bother you, Myungsoo. I’m just worried that you would have to drop out, leaving you with no place to go. I’ll see you in a few days, okay?” Kimbum sighed sadly, walking away. Myungsoo could hear the disappointment in Kimbum’s voice. However, he did not try to look weak.

 

Still enveloped with anger, Myungsoo strode back down the hall to the class he was in. As soon as he entered, many of his classmates stared at him. Myungsoo, being as frustrated as he is now, threw a pen at one of the guys who were staring before standing up and leaving the class.

He loitered outside class and called Sumin up to ask if he could stay over her house for the night – leaving the only people at home that night, Suzy and Jongin.

Words: 2030.