Chapter 5 | 12-27

Seungri rolled his eyes as he watched the elder biting his bottom lip nervously and kept on fidgeting with his fingers. Not being able to stand it anymore, he cupped Jiyong’ hand and gave it a little squeeze to encourage the trembling man.

“Do not create scenarios in your head. Please, wait until we come and then you can fall in conclusion.” Jiyong bobbed his head in agreement, but stopped abruptly.

“Aren’t you scared at all? They will judge you, they can be really rude. I just do not want you to go through all of this.”

Seungri forced a smile on his lips and shook his head, not being able to say anything. Scared of the possibility that his voice could crack he only gave his lover a peck and kept on rubbing the back of his hand. Seungri was frightened. He was concerned about his hyung, but also scared what his parents would say about him.

“I think it is the time to say you the whole story, right?”

Seungri gaped at Jiyong in surprise. The whole story..? Seungri had no idea what was going on.

“You know I left home when I was only a high school student. I lived with Seunghyun who also left, but his reason for the departure was different. While he moved because of studies, I was forced to get out of the house. Still remember the night I told you how I fell in love with literature? I think it all started there. My father knew I was no ordinary kid and my mom supporting me riled him up. He told me to go and study at boarding school. So I did. I was happy for not going alone – I had Seunghyun.

After years of hard work it was time for me to go back home. I never went back during the holidays. It was only me and Seunghyun who sometimes left me behind, visiting his parents. On that time I decided to continue my studies and bury myself even deeper under the books. And here I am – a grown up man who fears to go home after his long absence.”

Seungri gaped at the elder before pulling him into a hug. He was scared, scared of rejection. “They are your parents. They love you dearly.” Seungri knew exactly what it felt like to come out to his own parents. His father was indeed percipient, but his mother held grudges against him for two years, not talking nor sparing him a single glance. “Everything will be okay.”

Jiyong nodded faintly and got up, the plane already landed. He motioned for Seungri to join him and handed him his jacket. Right now the blond wanted to crawl under the seat and hide there for the rest of this little trip, but he could not.

Seungri reached for Jiyong’ hand and pulled him out, not really paying attention to things happening around them until they were both standing in front of the airport and Jiyong was shaking badly. His big doe-like eyes were now trained on the road as like a wolf would pop out from somewhere. Seungri pulled him to his side, his touch tender as he caressed Jiyong' cheek. “Which direction, hyung..?”

The word ‘hyung’ snapped Jiyong from trance and he motioned somewhere to the west. “I will lead. Just hold my hand and try to act… natural.”

Seungri nodded, following his lover through a narrow alley. He could feel the fear in the pit of his stomach, but it didn’t mean he would show it. It was enough watching the disgusted faces over their connected hands as they were quickly walking down the small hill towards one house. Seungri knew right away it was that house when Jiyong slowed down and reached behind, trapping Seungri in some weird kind of a back hug.

“Do not listen to them. They may hurt you, but you will survive, okay? Do not stand up for me; I will manage on my own. You play the obedient boy you are.” Jiyong’ voice was trembling slightly and Seungri caught him in a quickly kiss until someone could spot them. This was not Seoul. In this town everyone watched them. Even walls had ears and could hear their silent whispering.

The lock rattled and Jiyong jerked slightly when he heard loud barking of a dog. Jiyong crouched to the ground, hugging the large animal around its neck while it was his master’s ear lovingly. Jiyong reached for Seungri’s hand and forced him to pet the dog which leaned into the touch.

“Chul-ah, where did you run off? Ah, I swear this dog is-”

Seungri quickly stood up and bowed to the woman standing in front of him. He gulped down, watching Jiyong stand up slowly and join him in the bow, getting down on his knees. Seungri’s heart was beating fast as he watched a single tear stream down Jiyong’ cheek and fall down onto the floor.

“Get up, you dummy.” The soft touch of mother on Jiyong’ shoulders unleashed the emotions deep inside him and he enveloped his mother in a hug, not being able to control himself anymore. All those years he wished this moment would come, but it never did. He was too big of a coward to come here. After getting known Seungri, he became stronger. He would never admit it out loud, but the boy gave him few lessons he took to his heart.

Seungri smiled upon seeing the re-unite of a mother and son and took a step aback when a piercing voice could be heard. “Where do you think you are going, young man? Come here, I want to get to know you!” Seungri flushed crimson red and went closer, bowing lightly.

Jiyong’ mother patted his cheek, smiling smugly. Her son found a pretty man. “Aigoo, so handsome... I cannot wait to hold my grandchildren. They will be so pretty!”

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