As if he were treading on thin ice, Luhan proceeded down the barren corridor, careful not to trip over the cracks in the marble floor. His heart thumped in his chest as he used his hand to follow the walls; the moonlight that seeped in through the dusty windows did not provide enough guidance.

Where did she go?

Luhan had noticed that Mei sometimes disappeared during the night, and tonight, he had finally decided to follow after her. Luhan was in no means an obstinate man; he fully understood her when she said that she loved someone else. In his mind, he had accepted his defeat and he meant to respect her feelings. But his heart still yearned for her, and even though he didn’t intend to push his unrequited emotions on her, his curiosity had gotten the best of him, and here he was in the abandoned North Wing searching for her.

Her rejection hadn’t made things awkward between them and it was as if Luhan hadn’t kissed her in the first place; but that somehow made it more painful. Luhan was sad beyond words; how much he wished he was the one that Mei loved, how often he dreamt that they weren’t imprisoned in the cages of society---maybe then things would have been different. Maybe if he had the power to rescue her from the sea of sweat, blood and tears that she was drowned in, or maybe if he were as intelligent and influential and masculine as Sehun---no. Love did not adhere to reasoning and things that the human eye could perceive; it was an enigma far too complex to be unraveled by wistful ‘what if’s and empty promises.

Luhan knew that. And he hated it. But he had to accept it.

With a sigh, he tilted his head upwards to the night sky; his large doe eyes glistened in the soft light as he willed himself not to cry. The grimy glass of the windows made the stars appear as if they had been smeared across the black canvas by an angry hand, which Luhan was now doing to the teardrops that streaked across his cheeks like falling stars.

As a man, Luhan had sometimes fantasized himself being her knight in shining armor, imagining how blissful it would be if he were able to wipe away her tears whenever she cried and hold her in his arms to make her feel safe and protected. But now, as a steady stream of salt water trickled from his own eyes, he wished no more than to just have her by his side. Her presence alone would be enough to soothe the raw pain of his heart.

And so he continued to search for her in the lonely, unfamiliar labyrinth of both the North Wing and his heartbroken thoughts.

Mei wondered if the secret library had its own gravitational pull, because she found herself sneaking out at night to go there more frequently than ever. It probably had to do with the memories of Sehun that were stored there and how he had revived her feelings for him; for the past few days, Mei had allowed herself to be washed away by his subtle hints of affection. But she was deeply bothered by the rumor that revolution was brewing within the peasantry; if such a thing were to happen, she would undoubtedly lose the ones most precious to her, and she knew she would not be able to recover from the crushing grief this time. She was barely hanging on to life by a thread; Sehun was the only ray of light that pierced through the eternal darkness that overshadowed her, and even that was dimmed by fate’s mercilessness.

Mei shook the thought from her head and hurried her steps to the enchanted room where she could reveal her authentic self to the moon and stars. The low temperatures seemed to spread tentacles of frost across her lungs, but she felt the warm relief rush over her when she reached the library’s door; this was the closest thing she could call home.

She pushed the heavy wooden door open, but before she could cringe to the loud creak that the hinges always made, she felt the wind get knocked out of her lungs. Collapsing onto the floor with whatever she had slammed into, she gasped at the bone-jarring thud when her back hit the cold marble. Pain shot through her spine like lightning, but it was completely overpowered by the electrifying sensation that coursed through her when she found herself staring back at a pair of breath-taking black pearls.

A familiar, handsome face hovered just a finger’s width above hers; the alarming proximity wiped everything on her mind away. It was only until she felt his soft breath on her lips that she realized she had completely forgotten to breathe herself. Paralyzed in shock, Mei was drawn into those piercing orbs as powerful as a black hole in the galaxy; when she did so, she felt as if she had caught a glimpse of eternality.

Gradually, her senses crept back into her along with the uncomfortable tingles of panic as she felt his warm, strong body pressed against hers; felt his overwhelming aura enveloping her amidst the cool, midnight breeze that intruded through the open window.

“S-Sehun,” she breathed. There was exhilaration in being so close that there was no distance between them, but there also was a scream of hysteria that was becoming louder at the back of her head with each passing second; the way his body was trapping her against the floor reminded her too much of her hellish encounters with Kris. She squeezed her eyes shut and started to tremble.

Sehun felt her quiver underneath him, and immediately grasped that her traumatic experiences were threatening to swallow her. But he didn’t pull away; he didn’t want to. He had never been so close to her except in his dreams, and he basked in the mellow warmth of her body against his, savoring her naturally sweet scent and etching it into his memory. He didn’t want her to be afraid of him.

Slowly, he brought his hand up and the side of her face, causing her to open her eyes. His fingers were cool, but they left fiery sparks where he had touched her skin.

He loved the way he could see his own chiseled visage on the reflection of her watery eyes; it provided a stark contrast against her soft, feminine features and further emphasized her angelic mien. And Mei was helplessly melting as she lost herself in the loving tenderness within his steely orbs; they seemed to penetrate down to the deepest caverns of her soul and scoop up her truest emotions that she was too timid to offer him in broad daylight.

There was something so nerve-wracking, yet delightfully intimate in gazing at each other at such a close proximity; it seemed as if there existed nothing in this world that could dampen their raw connection of passion. Every miniscule flicker and waver of their gaze was perceived by the other, and it was an awe-inspiring experience to be able to glimpse their unspoken, innermost sentiments without exchanging a single word.

Sehun remembered how Mei had once tried to explain to him the ‘magic of love’ that fairy tales almost always mentioned; as he lost himself in her depthless orbs, he finally understood what had spurred the authors to inscribe such saccharine descriptions. Indeed, it felt as if a there was a spell binding them together so they could savor this sweet moment forever hand in hand; timelessness was not measured by the tick of the clock, but by their hearts beating against each other. Mei was his ethereal dream, poisoning him with delirious happiness and making his reality unbearably insipid in contrast to the pleasurable emotional gratification he chased after when they shared their time together. 

Lately, Sehun had sensed that Mei reciprocated the same affectionate feelings for him; it wasn’t an assumption made by arrogance, but a hope backed by intuition that was too strong to be hindered by logic. And now, as she gladly allowed him to take her hand so he could help her stand up, without breaking the gaze for a second, Sehun was sure that she loved him too.

Before Mei could upright herself properly, she was swept into his embrace. It wasn’t too unexpected from the course of events and the charged atmosphere, but she was still shocked nonetheless. His strong arms wrapped around her small frame and a hand softly, but protectively, held her head against the crook of his neck. From head to toe, Mei was enveloped by his touch, his scent, his warmth.

Sehun, Sehun, Sehun, Sehun.

Like a pious chant, she repeated his name in her mind, but within the echoes hung an unignorable gloom. She knew this moment would not last forever.

Her heart was bursting at the seams, threatening to splatter out in gruesome, bloody chunks. Sometimes, Mei wished she could become naïve and ignorant again, so that she could enjoy each second to its fullest. But she wasn’t a child anymore, and fate had permanently chained a leaden weight of sadness to her ankles that forbid her from basking in happiness without a storm cloud looming over her head. She was so scared, so dearly terrified of falling in love just to have her whole universe collapse on her---just like it had ten years ago. She could not let herself be carried too far from shore that she would not be able to return; she had to keep her overflowing passion at bay, because she could not afford to suffer the consequences later when it had accumulated to the point of fatality.

With a muffled whimper, she clung onto his dress shirt at the sides of his waist. It felt so good, so thrillingly satiating to be held in his arms, like the relief of finding a civilized path after wandering alone in the woods for years. She loved it but she hated it; the pain was beautiful but too excruciating.

“Are you crying?” Sehun murmured into her hair. Mei shook her head, but he wanted to make sure she really wasn’t, so he pulled away a bit to peer into her face. Flustered, she glanced up at him with wide, glossy eyes and pink lips that were parted in surprise. Her startled, almost childishly innocent expression tugged his heartstrings.

Sehun leaned down and kissed her.

For a fleeting moment, his lips met her soft, sweet ones until a loud thud of the door disrupted them.

Sehun was exasperated beyond imagination that their first kiss had to be cut so short, but the alarm of being found out was even larger. He rushed to the doors, leaving Mei behind to reel in the aftershock of the kiss, even if it hadn’t lasted more than a mere second. But the fear instantaneously swallowed her, and with a corroding sense of dread, she followed after him to find who the intruder was.

She heard a yelp and a thud before she could step foot outside the library. When she dashed out into the corridor, her eyes widened in horror.

Sehun held Luhan by his collar, pinning him against the wall with red fists and white knuckles. The veins on the side of Sehun’s forehead were visible in fury and his eyes were so fierce that Mei was afraid they would draw blood from Luhan’s face.

“Wait, no!”

Luhan watched in mortification as Mei pulled at Sehun’s arms, pleading for him to release his iron grip.

“What are you doing here?” Sehun growled.

His dark orbs were boiling in anger and extremely intimidating, but Luhan didn’t dare divert his gaze. “I-I---”

“Sehun, please, let him go,” Mei begged with desperation.

“Why?” Like a knife, Sehun’s word sliced the air and deepened the tear in Luhan’s already mutilated dignity.

Yes; why? Luhan thought bitterly. He was so ashamed of himself and he waited for Sehun to hit him because he knew he deserved it; the scene that he had taken a peek of was one that was far too intimate and precious to be seen by an outsider.

“Sehun, just please. Please let him go, I beg you.”

Luhan would never forget the glare that Sehun sent him for the rest of his life (which was not much longer); he had never known that the human eye could possess such powerful and emphatic expression of emotions. There was hate, there was fury, there was blame, and also dejection. It made him realize that underneath the jagged armor of ice, Master Sehun was also just a man in love, desperate not to lose his place in her heart; it made Luhan truly regret everything even more.

“Get lost.” Sehun seethed and shoved him so hard that Luhan was knocked to the floor. But he mentally thanked the Master for his mercy and willingly obeyed, running down the hall as if he expected the wind to brush away his tears.

Sehun raked a hand through his hair and angrily sighed. Their secret library had been a special, sacred place that he and Mei had only shared, but now, it had been tainted with Luhan’s presence and it made Sehun furious. He was hurt that Mei had rushed to take Luhan’s side when he was the one that had destroyed their enthralling moment. Did she not think anything of the kiss? Did this library not hold a significant importance to her?

With a harsh grasp, Sehun took her wrist and pulled her back into the library. Mei winced at his tight grip and almost stumbled when he abruptly halted at the center of the room. He spun around to face her without letting go of her hand.

“Do you like him?” The constrained anger, accusation, and hurt were painfully raw in his voice.

“W-what? No, I don’t,” Mei replied, hating how it seemed as if there was no conviction in what she had said under his knifelike glare.

He roughly pulled her to him, almost colliding her nose against his collarbones. While his one hand was securely wrapped around her wrist, he used the other one to force her to look up at him, searching her eyes for the confirmation that he was in dire need of. “Then tell me that you love me.”

With his frighteningly straightforward words and the burning passion of his eyes, something snapped inside Mei. Without warning, the tears had sprung from her eyes with the sudden violence of a rupturing volcano. She pushed against his chest and blindly tried to flail her arm out of his grip.

“Wait, Mei---Mei, why?” Sehun raised his voice, flustered by her sudden outburst.

“Let me go!”

He couldn’t understand why she was trying to escape from him. “Mei, wait---tell me what’s going on!” He caught her other wrist and struggled to still her.

But his actions had an opposite effect on Mei, and she fought even harder against his grip. “Let me go---please, Sehun, let me go!” she begged.

Sehun tightened his fingers around her in return, and this time it was his turn to plead, “Mei, I’m asking you to tell me why!”

With a final twist of her body, she managed to rip away from his grasp and backed away, shaking her head vigorously. “Can’t you see?” She swiped the tears away from her cheek. “We can’t do this; we can’t continue this way.”

Sehun took a step toward her, but she took another step back. “What do you mean? I don’t understand.” He reached for her hand and grasped her fingers. She tried to fling his hand away, but gave up after a few futile attempts and allowed him to hold them.

“We can’t do this; we cannot love.”

“Why?” He took her other hand, and she didn’t resist this time. Each teardrop grew larger and splattered on their hands as she continued to shake her head. “Why not?”

Mei squeezed her eyes shut from the wrenching pain and struggled to control her trembling voice. “Because---

Because love is like a fire; it’s warm and inviting from far away, and hot and passionate as you near it. The heat, the light, the intensity of it all enchants us, but it blinds us until we become consumed by the flames and incinerated to ash. We are not phoenixes; we are humans and the destruction reaches further than the gates of death itself.

You and I are from different worlds; the love that could bridge us together will ultimately be the cause of our downfall. You may be able to rise from the debris and fly away, but I was born without wings---” Her back bumped against the bookshelves and she tried to slip a hand away from his to wipe her tears.

But Sehun noticed and gently cupped her face in his hand, entwining their fingers together on the other. His frustration from earlier had been washed over by heartache. He was deeply wounded that she didn't believe in what they could achieve if they fought alongside each other---that she didn't have faith in him. “It doesn’t have to be that way; I will protect you.”

She didn’t reply.

Sehun closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers, crying inside at how despairingly cruel this universe was. Mei also closed hers; it hurt too much to see the pain and inprosoned yearning reflecting off of each other.

Silence settled over them, wistful and throbbing. Sehun pressed his body closer to hers in the hopes that her warmth would mend the bleeding wounds of his soul. She flinched a bit, but her hand moved up to clutch the hem of his shirt to tug him even nearer.

“Once---just once---tell me that you love me,” he whispered against her lips.

Slowly, her downcast gaze rose up to meet his, her eyes dyed in the color of pain.

“I love you.”

please comment if you will x) <3

btw Sehun's eyes are seriously so black pearl-y