Chapter 5 - 12 Problems
February 15th, 2014 - Saturday - 4:00PM

After I watched the boys’ small performance, I was actually sincerely impressed. The choreography had some type of difficulty to it which made it seem almost impossible to do, and I couldn’t imagine how much practice they had to do in order to have all twelve members in sync with each other. I could tell that they were having fun with it despite the long day of practice that they’ve had all day. And before I left, I was sent away by a bunch of ‘goodbyes’ and ‘nice to meet yous’. I was only a month or two older than the youngest two members, Tao and Sehun, were overly-joyed that a ‘new friend’ would be entering their lives, so they took the upper hand and decided to call me ‘noona’ even though we were the same age. Chanyeol said something between the lines of the reason as to why there was a ‘good vibe’ in the room was because of a ‘special guest’. I wasn’t really sure if he was saying that to just be nice or polite, but it made me blush and I didn’t exactly plan on blushing. Yes, Chanyeol was cute but I really was not looking for a relationship at this time of my life. I needed to focus on school and my job- that’s it.
The day went by smoothly after I left the EXO practice room. Actually, it went by better than I had thought. Even with the judging glances that I still get from some of the trainees, I felt good today. I hadn’t had a clue as to why, but that ‘feel good’ feeling that people always talk about was present in my mood. Nothing big really happened after that, it was just the normal routine. Thankfully no one had found out about my stop into the practice room or else rumors would have spread around the building, and I definitely don’t want that to happen.
As my day of work came to an end I gathered all my belongings, which included my jacket and purse, and changed into my normal clothing. I wasn’t the happiest person in the world, but I definitely was in an uplifting mood. Regardless of all the stress that strains the light out of me most of the time, right at this moment, I felt good.
“Ah!” I spoke to myself as I stood in the elevator by myself. A quick reminder came to me as I remembered that I had to make sure that there was a supply of cups for the water dispensaries in each practice room. I mentally slapped myself for forgetting since it wa such an easy task.
Quickly running to a supply closet that was on the same floor as the practice rooms, I grabbed a load of small disposable paper cups. It was quite a handful and a large weight on me since I had my purse strapped around me, and my keys in one hand. This would have been easier if I had my cart but since I was distracted earlier, it had slipped out of my mind. I tried to attempt to close the supply closet door with my foot, but since the cups were in the way of my view, it was much more difficult than it should have been. With my arms full of cups, I had no advantage with my upper body whatsoever and so I finally gave up and let out a loud sigh in the middle of the empty hallway- or so I thought it was empty.


*Suho’s POV*
Today’s practice went well, and I was proud of the members for doing so smoothly in front of our guest today. To be truthfully honest, I was a little off with my steps today due to nervousness. Of course I get nervous whenever we go on the big stage, but today was different. We’ve never done a performance for just one person before, so I felt as though her eyes were scanning every move we made. Since Na Young has that vibe to her that she does not like to mess around so much, I felt as though she would be watching us with sharp eyes. But then again, for some reason she has a innocent look to her that could make a man think. It was like she had the personality of a ‘cold city’ girl mixed with a ‘sweet innocence’ personality, which made me think about what type of person she was in reality. All on top of that, I still wondered as to why she was working at SM with the job that she has.
Without even realizing it, she’s constantly been on my mind ever since I met her the previous night.
I rustled my hands through my slightly sweated hair with frustration. “Aish..” I mumbled to myself as I slung my duffle bag around my body. A few hours earlier practice had ended but I stayed back to use the gym while the other members went back to the dorm to sleep, etc, play, etc. I assured them that I would be okay returning back to the dorm alone, and so they left without another word.
The building was currently idol-free at this time because they were either out promoting, doing music shows, radio shows, variety shows, fan signs, concerts, and everything else that comes with the deal of being an idol. EXO hasn’t been in the industry for long, but we’ve already gained so many fans that I sometimes question what we’re doing to gain all these people to become so dedicated to us. I’m not saying that I don’t like being an idol, because I am truly grateful. But at the same time, there are moments where I don’t particularly enjoy having that ‘idol image’.
I just want to be free to go out as I please once again, and I just want to feel like a normal person again. I want to be able to genuinely smile like I did when I was younger, and I want to be able to eat at a restaurant without having people approach me or take pictures of me.
Despite all of it, I love what I’m doing and I knew that coming into this business meant sacrifices. But I just want to feel free again.

With all the usual thoughts running through my mind, I made my way towards the stainless steel elevators. But before I reached the end of the hallway, a small struggling figure caught my eye. I ran over immediately to help close the door of a supply closet, and instinctively reached out to take the paper cups out of her arms.
“Ah, let me help you with that.” I said as I went to help her take a load off her arms.
She suddenly stepped back and craned her head around the cups to see who she was talking to. My eyes slightly widened to the sight of the female in front of me. She looked different without her work clothes on, and I didn’t recognize her at all. My mind was suddenly freed of all the other thoughts I had earlier, and a genuine smile was tugged at my lips.
“Oh!- Na Young-sshi.” I said to her as nicely as I could. “You should let me help you with that. You seem like you’re struggling.”
Her eyes widened just as I mentioned the word ‘help’ and she violently shook her head. “아니, 아니, 아니! (Ani, ani, ani ; No, no, no!)” She quickly sputtered. “괜찮아 (gwenchana ; It’s okay), you don’t have to. I don’t want to take time out of your schedule again..” She quickly bowed her head.
I reached for the cups and managed to take them out of her hands anyways, “I don’t have a schedule, and I’m not doing this because I have to. I’m doing it because I want to.” I softly smiled down at her.
She opened to say something again, but I just cut her off, “So, where do you need to bring these?”
As she finally realized that there was no point in trying to argue, she faintly sighed. “Well, I have to bring them to the practice rooms for the water machines. It’s a really quick job, I could have done it myself you know..” She mumbled the last part.
“Well now you don’t have to do it because you’ve got me to help you. I’m sure you’ve worked really hard today, so I will just do it for you.” I continued to smile at her as we walked towards the first room.
She just continued to silently walk by my side with her gaze avoiding mine the whole time.
‘Did I make her feel uncomfortable?’
She opened the door for me, and we walked inside with complete silence. I wanted to break the awkward tension so I tried conversating as I put the cups into the cup holder. “So, is your hand feeling any better?”
She looked down briefly at her bandaged hand and looked away. “예(ye ; yes).” she simply answered.
“Are you taking any precautions because of it?” I asked again to keep the conversation going.
Surprisingly, she was willing to talk more. “ 아니 (aniyo ; No), I’m still doing the same things that I was doing before..” she said.
“Ahh, I see. But you should be careful when you’re doing something. It will heal faster that way.” I informed her, and all she replied back with was a small “Mmn.” which indicated ‘yes’.
“Na Young-sshi?” I called out to her.
She looked up from the piano in the corner of the room, and looked straight at me. I noticed that she was keeping her distance, and I respected that since we didn’t really know each other very well. But that was the problem.
I wanted to get to know her more.
“Can we drop the formalities? I think we would become better friends if you would allow it.” I continued to smile at her. Her gazed was softened and she hesitantly nodded her head.
“Great!” I said as I picked up the cups.
We continued throughout the practice rooms with small conversations. All I could really get out of her were small “Mmns” and “Yes” out of her. Even with that, I was satisfied because I learned a little bit about her. EXO’s practice room was our last stop, and throughout the process I’ve noticed that she fiddled around with the piano keys in every room that we went into. As I was putting the remaining cups into the cup holder, I looked at her out of the corner of my eye as she lightly ran her fingers across the keys.
“Do you know how to play?” I asked. She jumped at my question and looked away.
“Just a little bit.” She replied with a small smile. That was the first smile that I had ever seen from her, and I was surprised at how it made the room glow. I engraved the picture in my mind, and then I smiled to myself. “You should play.” I said.
She seemed caught off guard and then shook her head, “But I’m not that good, so I’m not sure..” She said as she kept her eyes on the piano keys.
When I was done, I walked over to the piano and she finally looked up from the black and white keys. I looked into her eyes, “Just play. I want to hear it. I’m sure it will be better than me.” I chuckled.
I sat down on the piano stool and patted the empty space next to me. She stared at the seat for a few more seconds before she sat down in defeat. “What should I play?” she asked.
“Anything that comes to mind.” I continued to smile at her to make her comfortable, which might have worked because I could feel that she was less tense than earlier.
The only sound in the room was the movement of her shifting so that she could get comfortable before starting. I watched her every move as she let the pads of her fingers touch the piano keys. Once she found the right note, she hesitantly looked at me really quickly. I nodded to assure her that I was still waiting and listening and she looked down at the keys again.
She took a deep breath in, and then exhaled before the soothing melody began to pour out around the walls.
[Song that is being played: https://soundcloud.com/genesisjen/big-bang-haru-haru-piano]
 

I stopped breathing for the slightest moment and I just watched her. I watched, and watched her delicate movements, and I watched the way that she softly swayed with every note that she made. It was like she forgot that I was even there, and she just played. It was literally just her and the music, no one else. I saw the concentration and determination in her eyes as she thought of the notes in her head. I thought she was good, but I didn’t imagine her to be this good.
And just as we got to the chorus, the most unbelievable thing happened. She started singing.

“ 돌아보지말고 떠나가라 또 나를 찾지말고 살아가라
(Don’t look back and leave, Don’t find me again and just live on)

너를 사랑했기에 후회없기에 좋았던 기억만 가져가라
(Because I have no regrets from loving you, so only take the good memories)

그럭저럭 참아볼만해 그럭저럭 견뎌낼만해
(I can bear it in some way, I can stand it in some way)

넌 그럴수록 행복해야돼 하루하루 무뎌져가네. ”
(You should be happy if you are like this, day by day it fades away.)

At that moment, I thought I had really stopped breathing this time. Her voice was soft and sweet, but at the same time it had a special raspy tone to it that made me want to hear more. She performed the song like she owned it, it was like the song was made for her. The silence came back and she kept her eyes on the piano keys.
“I didn’t mean to start singing..” She quietly muttered to me in embarrassment. I could see the pink taint in her cheeks as she avoided all eye contact with me.
I blinked my eyes to snap myself out of my daze and shook my hands, “아니! (Ani ; No!) Na Young.... that was...” I couldn’t find the words because I was still in shock, but then I finally exhaled.
“I know, it wasn’t the greatest thing ever, right?” She turned to look at me in the eyes.
After what I’ve just heard and seen, it was like I was looking at her in a brighter light. This girl in front me had so much potential and determination in her. Which led me to the same thoughts that I had before, ‘Who exactly is Nam Na Young?’.
“It’s actually one of the greatest things I’ve heard in a long time.” I answered truthfully. “You’re really good- No, you’re great, actually.” I chuckled.
“Really?”
“Yes!” I told her again, “You’re awesome, Youngie!” I .
She paused for a moment and shook her head with a small laugh. Her laugh. That’s the second time I’ve heard her laugh, and it sounded like her singing. “What are you laughing at?” I asked her as I raised an eyebrow.
“Nothing.... it’s just that only my best friends and dad call me that.” She faintly smiled at the thought of them.
“Youngie?” I asked.
She nodded, “My dad used to call my mom that before she died, so it’s like a reminder that she’s always with me no matter what.” She gazed at the piano keys with a tug at her lips as she talked about her family.
“I’m sorry about your mother..” I said.
She looked up at me again, “It’s okay.” She stood up and threw her bag around her body once again, “She passed away after I was born, so I never got to know her anyways.” She shrugged her shoulders.
“Ahh, I see.” I nodded my head as I got up to gather my belongings as well.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

We walked down to the main lobby together in silence, but my head was filled with thoughts and wonder about this mysterious girl next to me. She has so much to say and do, but she just doesn’t allow herself to do them. It’s like she won’t let anyone into her small world because she already feels secure, and she doesn’t want to mess that up. But deep down inside of her, I can see that she isn’t satisfied with everything. And for some reason, I needed to know why.
Once I realized it was raining, I pulled out my small umbrella and prepared for the weather ahead of me. Before I stepped outside, I threw my hoodie up and placed dark sunglasses on my face so that I could avoid being recognized by anyone.
I stopped at the front doors before stepping out, “Ah, Na Young.” I called out for her.
She turned around and tilted her head. “Where are you heading?”
“Oh.. I’m going to the bus stop around the corner.” She replied.
I smiled, “I’m walking past there too. Why don’t we go together?” She was about to protest, but I stopped her before she could say anything, “It’s raining outside and you don’t even have a hood on your jacket. You wouldn’t want to get sick standing in the rain without protection, would you?”
I silently praised myself in my head for being so persuasive as she lightly nodded her head in agreement.
I popped open the umbrella before the heavy doors of the building swung open. The gap between us was slowly closing after each step we took down the steps of the front of the building. Standing next to her, I could smell the faint scent of her light perfume, which had me curious as to what perfume she used.
Before I had even realized it, my left shoulder was drenched with water because of the way I was holding my umbrella. I was so busy making sure that Na Young was comfortable, that I didn’t even notice.
“Suho-shhi?” She softly spoke out.
I was snapped out of my daze and looked down at her, “Suho. Just say Suho.” I informed her.
She nodded, “Aren’t you afraid that you might get noticed?” she asked.
I shook my head, “아니 (Ani ; No). Because of the dark skies from the rain, no one will recognize me. I noticed this on all the days that it rains. Since most girls don’t like the rain, they usually don’t come out anywhere near here.” I explained.
“Ahh.. I see.” She simply stated.
 

*Na Young’s POV* 
I was grateful that Suho walked me to the bus stop since it was raining, but I didn’t really want him to do it to be honest. He had already done so much for me with putting away the cups since he insisted had he had do it, that I already feel as though I’m in debt with him. And now on top of that, here he is, taking the time out of his day to help me again. 
“Suho, you can leave now. I’ll be fine just waiting here for the bus alone.” I turned to look at him. 
My tone of voice was finally beginning to sound normal in front of him, because I had felt some sort of comfort around him already. 
“아니 (Ani ; No). Like I said before, I want to do this.” He answered. 
For some reason, my face warmed up and my cheeks were definitely changing into a different shade of color. 
I looked over past him, and saw that his shoulder was soaked. 
“Suho! Your um, shoulder..” I pointed out. 
He looked down to his left and looked back up at me with a warm smile, “난 괜찮아. (Nan gwenchana ; I’m fine.) A little rain never hurt anybody.” 
His smile was contagious and my lips couldn’t help but tug at its corners. He chuckled and craned his neck around to get a better glance at me. “You should smile more.” He simply stated before the sounds of the bus approaching was heard. I was confused as to why he made the suggestion but I just physically ignored it by walking towards the opened bus doors. 
He unhesitantly walked over to the front doors of the bus, still holding up the black umbrella above our heads. 
Before I walked up the first step, a feeling of warmth was wrapped around my hand. 
I turned around to find Suho’s grip on my hand along with that damn smile still plastered on his face. 
“So, I’ll see you soon?” He asked the question, but made it sound like a statement. 
I looked down at our wrapped hands before looking back into his brown eyes. With the small gesture of a head nod, he let go of my hand and smiled even brighter. “Have a safe trip home, Youngie.”
He remained standing in his place waiting to watch the bus depart, and once I took a seat next to the window, he just smiled and smiled. 
When the bus started moving I started having those thoughts again. 
Why was he and his friends being so nice to me when everyone else in that building completely ignored the fact that I even existed?  
My mind was curious as to why he kept on trying to help me, and why he wanted to be friends. It wasn’t normal for people to usually approach me in the way that Chanyeol did because everyone has always seen me as a ‘cold’ person. 
All these questions were continuously running through my mind, and I was beginning to become aggravated with the things that I was thinking about. I already had so much going on in my life, that I almost didn’t want to have anything to do with EXO because it would add to the large list of problems. 
But I guess fate decided to add 12 more problems to my life anyways.