So he wasn’t mistaken. Kai thinks as he read Chanyeol’s last message. He should have expected this though.

He looks over to Suzy who looked rather surprised. Maybe at this point she wasn’t thinking twice about what she was going to say any more because she immediately took to her keyboard and typed in her message without even hesitating to click send.

 Today, 9:12 pm
Which friends?

Chanyeol replies.

Today, 9:13 pm
Mostly your seniors. The same year as me. They were sort of wanting to get that exhibit last year.

Kai notes that Chanyeol’s messages no longer looked childish. They were almost as serious as Suzy’s.

Today, 9:15 pm
Ah! Don’t get me wrong, they were happy for you too! They were actually amazed a freshman got the slot. They thought you were going to get it every year too.

Suzy’s hands drew back from the keyboard, as if she didn’t plan to even type in a response. But it looks like she didn’t have to yet, because Park Chanyeol was once again flooding her inbox.

Today, 9:17 pm
I went with them last time to your exhibit too.

Today, 9:17 pm
They introduced us to each other before, but I guess you didn’t remember…

Suzy looked stiff while reading this, but after she sees Chanyeol not adding more messages, she decides to type in a reply.

Today, 9:20 pm
I’m sorry

Today, 9:21 pm
There was a lot going on that day

Kai glances at Suzy with a worried expression on his face. He knew what she meant by her last message. That day was when Suzy’s life fell apart.

“Suzy,” Kai calls her attention on him once he sees her eyes turn melancholic and her lips pull down to a frown.

The girl doesn’t look at him though. Her gaze falls to the keyboard instead of the screen. Kai assumes she’s too much in a shock to speak right now, or she’s reliving that day all over again.

He held both of his hands out, wanting to grab her by the shoulders, and snap her out of her daze, but he immediately withdraws them, remembering he couldn’t. He could only sigh as he looks unto the screen and mutter a sarcastic ‘good job, weird ears’, before turning back to Suzy.

He gets an idea to get Suzy’s attention. He extends his hand out to go over Suzy’s eyes and waves it up and down. “Suzy,” he says her name in a cheery way, so as not to make her sense his anxiousness, and also, to lighten up the atmosphere.

Suzy sees Kai’s hand in front of her face and narrows her eyes. She tries to grab him by the wrist to make him stop, but her fingers merely pass through the boy’s forearm.

The boy stops upon seeing the girl’s reaction and pulls his hand back. He then gives the girl a grin.

“What?” she asks in a rather annoyed tone.

“What’s with that tone?” his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Don’t transfer your frustration on Park Chanyeol unto me.”

Suzy once again glares at the screen. Looks like Chanyeol was still typing in a response.

“You were spacing out a while ago,” Kai comments. “And you call me spacey…” he teasingly adds.

Finally Park Chanyeol’s message pops up.

Today, 9:25 pm
Like what?

Suzy sighs. She didn’t want to talk about it. She had always found it hard to tell other people that her family died. Suzy hated having to repeat this painful fact over and over again. Wasn’t experiencing it enough? Every day was a reminder for her that they’re no longer with her, voicing it out loud was much, much painful.

She turns and sees Kai looking at the screen with a worried expression on his face. He turns to her direction upon feeling her gaze. His frown quickly turns into an awkward smile. “I’m sorry I’m reading your messages,” he says sheepishly. Suzy merely nods, positioning her hands back at the keyboard, and starts to type.

But what should she type?

She starts off with two words.

My family

She then deletes the whole phrase and types in another one.

An accident

Her index finger was already posed to click on the enter key, but she hesitated. She hits on the backspace button and once again left the reply box blank.

“You could just tell him you were busy,” Kai hints at the side with a little mischievous glint in his eyes. “If you’re uncomfortable to talk about it, I mean.”

Suzy gives a little nod. Technically, Park Chanyeol and she weren’t close. She barely knew anything about Chanyeol. Maybe it was Chanyeol’s way to keep the conversation going, but why did he have to shoot such personal invasive questions anyway?

She types in her rather lengthy message and sends it in one go.

Today, 9:30 pm
Just some stuff. Chanyeol, I need to go now. Thanks again for the article. I have to read it now. I’ll just see you tomorrow. At nine in the cafeteria.

She logs out immediately, not bothering to wait for his response. She just wanted to get out of that conversation as soon as possible.

However, Kai looks puzzled at what Suzy did. “Why’d you log off? Didn’t you have three other unread messages waiting?” He mentions the other three senders that left her messages in her notifications.

“I don’t really want to read them,” Suzy says, almost nonchalantly. “They’re from my friends before.”

Kai’s expression lightens up. “That’s good! They still keep in contact with you!” He sounds excited. “You know it’s rude not to reply to their messages right?”

Suzy shrugs. “I’ll manage.”

A crease forms on Kai’s forehead. “Why? Are you avoiding your friends?”

Suzy opens the PDF article she downloaded a while ago and begins reading it.

Kai sighs. It was too obvious when Suzy wanted to avoid the question. She was hard headed, after all.

 But then again, so was Kai.

He mutters an audible, “If I was your friend, I’ll be waiting for your reply.”

Suzy ignores him again, grabs a pen and writes down key words in her notepad.

“It’s not fun being ignored, Suzy,” he says, his voice less playful and more serious.

 “I’m doing work, Kai.”

“You know I’ll only stop bugging you once you’ve told me what I needed to know right?”

Her pen stops at its tracks, and she turns to Kai. Her face looked more annoyed than usual, and somehow a bit menacing. Kai responds with an innocent shrug, to which Suzy’s eyes narrow even more. “What do you want?”

“Why aren’t you reading and responding to your friends’ messages?”

“I don’t want to talk to them.”

“It’s not like you’ll actually talk to them,” he reasons. “They’re just checking up on you.”

“Really?” Suzy raises an eyebrow then scoffs a sarcastic, “A bit too late for that, aren’t they?”

“Why do you sound so bitter all of a sudden?” he argues. “Did something happen?”

Suzy continues glaring at the boy. A look that might imply ‘none of your business’ but Kai presses on.

“Come on, tell me.” A pair of wide eyes beckons innocently and somewhat curiously at the girl. “You can trust me right?”

Suzy sighs. This was Kai’s charm. Something she admittedly could not put a resistance on.

She puts her pen down and types in the SNS’s URL. “If I read the messages and respond to them, would you at least let me finish my work in peace?” Her bargaining already sounded dismissive.

Kai shrugs. “For now, I guess.”

The girl props her head on one hand, the other on the mouse pad. She opens the notifications once more. This time, Chanyeol was no longer online, much to her relief. He just leaves her with a final message:

Today, 9:31 pm
Ok! See you then!

She decides to leave it at that and click on the next message below it. It was from someone named Kang Jiyoung, Choi Jinri, and Lee Jieun. She clicks on Jiyoung’s messages first. Looks like the earlier unread messages were dated over 10 months ago.

10 months ago
Suzzzyy! Japan’s nice! I wish you went with me though… Do you want me to buy you anything? Souvenirs? Food? ^^

7 months ago
Aaaah… Looks like you haven’t read your messages or logged on for a while. I miss you!!! T_____T
I’ll have my break in a few weeks!! How about you? How’re the kids doing?
I got you something!! It’s a surprise though… Hehehe…

7 months ago
BAE SUZZZZZZY!!!!!

7 months ago
BAE SUZZZZZZY!!!!!

7 months ago
BAE SUZZZZZZY!!!!!

7 months ago
WHY DON’T YOU EVER GO ONLINE??

7 months ago
ARE YOU QUITTING YOUR SNS??

6 months ago
I’ll be returning to Korea tomorrow!!!
WHY HAVEN’T YOU READ MY MESSAGES YET?? TT______________TT
I can’t wait to see you guys!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!

6 months ago
I just met with our friends a while ago…
Jinri told me you changed courses? I’m a bit upset you didn’t tell me…
They seemed to be upset that you didn’t tell them either…
You haven’t been going online and responding to our messages…
What’s going on Suzy? We’re worried for you…

5 months ago
I’ll be going back to Japan pretty soon… I still haven’t given you your present yet.
It isn’t much, but I thought you would like it. It’s a pink shirt with an abstract rendition of Tokyo’s sights in it. I want to go and give it to you personally. I tried to leave it with your roommate before, Jieun? But she said you didn’t stay at your dorm anymore.
I don’t know where you moved to… And seems that no one knew your contact numbers anymore either. Did you change them? *sighs* I miss you Bae Suzyy! T_____T I thought I should see you once before I leave again!

5 months ago
I’m going back to Japan tomorrow. I guess I won’t see you, after all…
You know I always wish you well, right? I miss you Suzy…
I’ll be bringing you two presents the next time I go back to Korea. The shirt and something else. You could still ask me to get you something! :)
Hope to talk to you soon
<3 YOU!

Suzy just reads these messages and feels a pang in her heart. The feeling was all too familiar to her. Guilt.

“Looks like someone missed you…” A gentle voice echoes behind her. Of course, Kai had been reading the messages too. “I told you they would have wanted to hear from you.”

“Jiyoung is…” The girl turns to him with her jaw a little opened from surprise. Kai gives her an encouraging grin, willing to listen to what she was about to say. “Jiyoung is the first friend I made in college,” she starts, with her voice faltering a little. Her eyes were looking at his, but somehow felt distant. “I-,” she seems to be at a loss for words. “I didn’t know she would miss me this much… I mean, she knew what happened. She knew my family died, but she didn’t even come to check up on me during their funeral.” Tears started to pool in her eyes, and then start spilling. “Our friends said it was because she was busy preparing for her trip for Japan... And I never said anything because I thought she wanted to stay clear of my problems.” Suzy grabs a pillow on her bed and hugs it tight. She buries half of her tear stained cheeks on the pillow.

“At that time, I thought all of them didn’t want to be bothered with my issues, so I slowly closed myself off. I moved without them knowing, and changed my numbers. I never told them about my shifting from Fine Arts to Philosophy because it was my problem. I thought they wouldn’t even care…” She squeaks each word out.

“I’ve been an awful friend, for cutting them off, haven’t I?” She says, wiping a tear from her cheek. “I should have understood her. I knew her trip to Japan was a week after my exhibit. Of course she couldn’t come. But, looking back, if I had told her or any of them, they would have come to my side just to comfort me. That’s the type of people they are.”

After Suzy turns silent, Kai cuts in with his tone as caring as ever, “It’s not too late.” His lips were pulled up into an understanding and gentle smile. “You could always start with a heartfelt apology, I’m sure your sincerity will get through to them.”

Suzy leaves the pastel pink pillow on her lap, and faces her computer. She doesn’t bother to wipe the tears off her face, as more slowly roll down her cheeks as she types her long awaited message.

Jiyoung… I’m sorry I haven’t contacted you and the rest of our friends for such a long time. I think you know about the accident during the exhibit…  To be honest, after that, I fell into a slump. I didn’t feel like doing art anymore, and my aunt which took me in, said that taking art would be too much of a pain in her wallet, so I decided to quit Fine Arts. I moved into Philosophy, but honestly, I miss art. I miss painting. I miss taking classes with the rest of our friends. I miss you and our friends!!! TTTT__________TTTTT

I’m sorry I didn’t go and see you when you came back, Jiyoung!!! I’ll definitely go next time!! Just tell me when! I’ll check all your messages and reply to them too!! I MISS YOU JIYOUNG!!! DO WELL IN JAPAN! I LOVE YOU! <3

Kai smiles as he sees Suzy’s message. It was cute that she finally sent messages that looked like they were crafted by someone her age. This was the first time she used so much exclamation points and emoticons.

She pauses for a while, and wipes off her tears. She re-reads her messages and looks at Kai, seemingly waiting for his approval before sending it. He gives her a smile and two thumbs up, and she finally sends her message. She presses send with one of her eyes closed.

“You’re doing well, Suzy,” Kai commends as he sees Suzy finally opening up to other people. “Now, about the other two messages…”

Suzy faces him and nods. This time, it was her turn to smile comfortably.