“Put your phone over your ear.” Kai tells Suzy halfway through their walk back home.

Suzy sighs in relief as she puts her handbag in front of her and s it to retrieve her white phone. It always made her uneasy when Kai was quiet. Somehow, only hearing her footsteps in their quiet neighborhood bothered her. Maybe it was because she was so used to hearing Kai’s low voice hovering around her whenever it got so silent.

She wasn’t used to the silence she used to engulf herself in.

Not since Kai came.

She puts the phone over her ear, just as Kai said. “What’s the matter?”

Kai was about to say something, but seemed to have problems finding the right words. Suzy sees him open his mouth, only to keep it shut again, with a straight faced expression.

“Hello?” Suzy tries to catch his attention. Perhaps he had drifted off in his thoughts again. “Kai?”

Kai swallows before he speaks. “What do you think of…” he looked like he wanted to continue his question, but decided to stop there.

“Of what?” Suzy presses. It wasn’t Kai’s character to be so indecisive. Especially when it came to expressing his curiosity.

“Well…” Kai was tongue-tied. He was so sure he could just go and ask Suzy about Park Chanyeol, but… It was harder than he thought. He didn’t know why, but his chest feels heavier whenever he thinks about the two of them.

Suzy looked at him with expectant eyes. Kai sees her eyes shine, the light of the setting sun accentuating its innocence.

Kai sighs and decides to hold it to himself once more. He felt something complicated now. He wanted to know what she thought about Park Chanyeol, and how she would react if he told her weird ears actually had a thing for her. He didn’t want her to know about the latter, and he wouldn’t want to see Suzy’s reaction when he tells her. Just thinking about it made his chest tighten.

He breaks away from Suzy’s stare and looks forward. “Ah… I forgot what I was going to say!” He then gives out an awkward laugh.

Suzy scoffs as she furrows her eyebrows. “What was that?” She looks to the street in front of them, shaking her head. “I thought you were upset or something.”

Kai’s lips curl into a shy smile. Looks like Suzy could read him well now, too. “What made you say so?”

“It’s too quiet,” Suzy turns to her side to meet eyes with Kai. “It’s never quiet with you around.”

“Yeah?” Kai gives a sincere smile.

Suzy nods, then her eyes are directed to her shoes. “It’s like you’re not there…” Her voice is hushed as she admitted her thoughts. “And I need to check to see if you’re still around.”

Kai’s gaze is glued to the shy Suzy in front of him. His eyes soften at the sight, and he feels a certain pang in his chest. “Do you think I’ll leave?” his tone is gentle, resembling that of an adult comforting a child.

Suzy looks into his eyes once more as she pulls up both corners of her lips. This was the same forced smile Kai saw her make the first time he met her, but now, sadder, and more melancholic.

“Nothing ever stays anyway.”

Suzy didn’t like the fact that she had welcomed Kai into her life this easily. Not when Kai’s existence puzzled her. He was there, but he wasn’t. She was the only one that could tell the difference. It was a shaky position to be in.

“What if one day,” Suzy heaves a sigh. “I’ll wake up to having no one around again?”

“I won’t leave,” he says dismissive on his stand.

“It’s not a matter of making promises,” her eyes were colder, like she was protecting herself from something. “Once you’re gone, you’re gone.”

“I’m staying,” Kai insists, his tone unfazed by Suzy’s pessimism.

Without missing a beat, she bitterly retaliates, “For how long?”

Kai’s lips part in surprise. Even he didn’t know the answer to that question. It was now his turn to have his gaze to the ground. “I’m sorry.” Kai dejectedly admits.

Suzy’s eyes remain on the boy.

 “That question…” she tries to fix the situation. “I shouldn’t have asked that. I should be the one who’s sorry, Kai.”

“No,” Kai puts his chin up and puts his walking to a pause. “I’m sorry.”

Suzy stops walking and faces the boy, her phone still against her ear.

He brazenly looks into Suzy’s eyes as he voices out the thoughts he had the other day. “I’m thankful I have you Suzy. You’re the only one who makes me feel like I really exist. The day you found me in the library, I felt like I was saved.

The reason I followed you was because I needed you to keep reaffirming my existence. I thought that you may be some sort of key to finding out who I am, but lately, I’ve realized, I didn’t want to find out who I was anymore. That genuinely, I felt happy just by being by your side. I could do without anything else.

This situation we have. It’s favored me since the beginning, in more ways that I could imagine. True, I can’t be seen, heard, or felt by others, but at least I have you. But it’s selfish,” he feels the pang in his chest burn worse.

“As it turned out, you only had me, too,” he says in a quieter tone. “I’m sorry. I thought, being there for you is the only thing I can do, yet even I don’t know if I could do that right.”

Suzy purses her lips into a thin line, unable to express the thoughts she had. Just like always, Kai had it spot on.

“I don’t know how long I get to stay,” Kai’s voice was a bit lighter now, as he looked up into the now orange and pink sky above them. Suzy’s gaze follows his, two of them have their chins up and looking onto the wide autumn sky above their head. “I don’t know when I’ll just go, but, before I do, I wish to find you people who would stay with you when I can’t.” With these words uttered, Suzy’s gaze goes back to the tall wavy haired boy. She thought he would look sad, but contrary to his almost pained tone, he was wearing a sincere smile on his face.

His words somehow stung as Suzy took them to heart. What she wanted wasn’t someone to take his place… She just wanted him to stay.

 Kai tilts his head down to look at Suzy. “I don’t know if that’s enough, but it’s all I can do.”His eyes were kind, and full of warmth. “I’ll help you find your happiness back, Suzy.”