She woke up to the sound of the air conditioner echoing all over an unfamiliar white-walled room. She stares at the ceiling and was about to scratch her nose when she felt a stinging pain in her right hand. There was an IV line attached to her wrist. She stared at it for a while, seeing the blood run up through the line’s nozzle. She couldn’t care less but still puts her hand down to regularize the flow.

There was no one in her room. Just her and a bag of full of her clothes on the chair beside her bed.

She sighed and leaned her head back on the pillow. Her eyes shut for a while until she hears a person enter the room. It was a lady nurse, wearing all white, with a pen and clipboard in hand.

“You’re awake,” she says in a kind tone.

“Yeah,” the girl in the bed responds. But I wish I wasn’t, she adds internally.

The nurse pulls out a thermometer from her pocket. She then checks on the girl’s temperature.

“You were burning with a fever for the past few days,” she nurse informs her. “You were unconscious for 3 days.”

“Have I?” she blankly responds.

“Yes,” the nurse chimes. “It’s good your finally awake, your mother-“

“No, actually, she’s just my aunt,” the girl corrects her in a bitter tone, showing the most emotion she had during the whole conversation.

“Oh, sorry,” the nurse was taken aback. “Anyway, she was here yesterday, I think she’ll stop by today at 4pm.”

Lovely, the girl responds in her head.

The nurse calls someone via the room’s intercom, “Patient 11410, Suzy Bae, has regained full consciousness. Could I request a doctor to come and check her status?”

She then faces Suzy and tries to put on a smile which otherwise meant ‘try to cheer up’. “The doctor will see you in a minute.”

Suzy nods and thanks the nurse before she left the room.

She leans back on her pillow once more and stares at the ceiling. It didn’t feel like three days, she thinks then shuts her eyes. A blurred image of a boy emerges out of the darkness. He stood still, seemingly waiting for something, his tanned skin and curly hair, the only things Suzy can identify. The image disappears when her eyes immediately flicker open as she hears the door open, letting inside a female doctor, coming to check on her.

“Suzy can be discharged now,” the doctor happily informed her aunt as they stood beside Suzy who was still in bed. “She’s all better.”

Says you, Suzy commented in her head.

“Ah, what a relief,” her aunt sighs. “Thank you so much doctor,” she bows gratefully.

The doctor smiled in acknowledgement before leaving the room.

Suzy looks away from her aunt who had a different expression from what she had three seconds ago. She made her way to Suzy’s bed and by the way she clenched Suzy’s arm, it was no doubt she was furious.

Here it comes. Suzy thought as she bit her lip.

“Do you know how much it cost me to get you hospitalized here?” her aunt hissed in a fit of rage. “When will you ever stop being such a burden all the time?!”

Suzy keeps a straight face and refuses to look at her aunt. Tears were already welling in her eyes but she wouldn’t let them out. The last thing she wanted to happen was to be scolded for crying. She inhales a deep breath of air that seemed to go right through her and regrets why she woke up that day.

As the sunshine seeps through her window every morning, Suzy just stares at the calendar on her bed side with the days crossed out one by one. Each cross an indication that she made it through all of those days. She hated it. She just wished the crosses would stop piling up. That she would just stop waking up to a new day that offers her nothing but solitude and pain. With a black broad tipped marker, Suzy crosses off another day in the calendar. Great, another one I have to endure.

That morning, Suzy had classes at 10 am but still woke up at 6 am, considering that she had to do all the chores done before her aunt goes to work at 8. She cooks breakfast for two, despite the fact she just got out of the hospital yesterday.

“Don’t think that just because you got sick, doesn’t mean you get to skip on classes again tomorrow,” her aunt nags while they were in the car ride home from the hospital. “And your chores. Get back on your chores starting tomorrow,” she commands without a hint of concern in her tone.

Suzy was used to it. She was used to being treated like a slave at home. She was used to her aunt’s indifference and even exasperation towards her very existence. Suzy was used to her existence meaning nothing.

 It was like this every day.

She lived without meaning.

She was so used to that empty feeling, she couldn’t stand it.

Suzy hated it so much. What she hated most is the fact that she couldn’t do anything about it.

10 am to 12 pm. Suzy attends a 2 hour class that she paid no attention to.

12: 13 pm. She gets lunch at the cafeteria and eats it alone. She had no friends. She was in college. She never found the time or the enthusiasm to socialize with others.

1:06 pm. Suzy goes to her next class only to find a note posted by her professor saying that classes were cancelled on that day. She feels a slight tinge of relief, knowing that she didn’t have to sit through another 4 hour discussion.

1:21 pm. She should have gone home, but chose not to.

Seeing as she missed going to class for three days, she knew school work would eventually pile up on her. She wouldn’t even be surprised if they had a major requirement due next week. Life somehow put a lot of circumstances like that on her. Once something goes wrong, expect other things to fall apart next. She checks her locker and takes out her course outlines. She glanced at each subject and their schedules. She was right. There were requirements due next week. A research paper with a topic of her choice and a book report. Joy, Suzy thought while taking note of these things in a small pink notepad. Guess who’s not getting any sleep for the next few days.

Better get started on these, staring at the pink piece of paper, she sighed then piled up all her things back in her locker.

The university’s library was old. It had books that dated back into the 1900s, and shelves that pretty much looked like they’ve survived World War II. The floor was made of gray marble-like tiles and the walls were a fading dark red. It was always well lit there, but somehow, its aura gives off the dimmest in the whole campus.

There were other students in the library as well. Those groups seated in long tables were chatting with each other, seemingly discussing a group report. There were couples in other tables, dating, some studying. Some students sat alone. They were either studying a pile of books beside them or sleeping with their headphones on.

She skipped every place which had someone seated in it just to avoid the awkwardness of asking, “Hello, is there someone seated here?” She’d rather not talk to anyone. It had always been like this. Ever since she reached college, things evidently went wrong for her.

She finally stops in the farthest corner of the library. There was a long table there with no one sitting there. She seemed to be alone in that part of the library it if weren’t for another student who sat in a single table next to the table she was at. It was a boy, wearing a black hoodie above his printed white shirt. He had his hoodie cover up his otherwise, ruffled hair. He sat there, staring at the window in front of his desk. He seemed so indifferent to everyone and everything, including the pile of around 10 books beside him, not even bothering to get started on one of them.

Suzy left her things in the seat she just acquired, hoping no one would come there and ruin her solitude. It’s not that she hated people. She just hated how everyone seemed so okay and that they were so happy with each of their lives while there she was, living a miserable life. She avoided the giggling of her peers and hanging around them because she knew herself she could never be as happy as they could.

As soon as she determined the call number of the books she needed, she went around the library looking locating them. Suzy finds herself in awe whilst staring at the shelves of books dedicated for the arts. Much to her convenience, she easily finds the book Art and Thought by Arnold and Iverson. She crosses off that book from her “own topic research” list and takes it out of the shelf. She then swiftly finds four more out of the five books she had listed and now starts going to the philosophy books’ shelves.

She takes in mind the call number of the book under “book report” and starts to look for it across the shelves. No luck. There was no book with that number. Suzy sighs. The book’s title was The Conquest to Happiness. Suzy gave out an inaudible scoff. Right now this was blocking her supposed “happiness”. It was life mocking her again. She didn’t want to take Philosophy in the first place but here she was, a majoring Philosophy student, currently on her second year.

She tries to look for the book once more, and fails. She even asks the librarian for it but it was nowhere to be found. The librarian simply dismisses that someone must have taken it out of the shelf today and tells Suzy to look for it tomorrow. Suzy nods and thanks the librarian for her help.

With five books in hand, she makes her way back to her solitude “spot”. Like before she left, there was still no one in that part of the library except for her and the boy with the black hoodie. The boy was still staring out the window, his book pile still untouched, still uninterested in the world.

Suzy notices the book on top of the boy’s desk.

Bertrand Russell. These words were written in big bold letters in the book’s cover. From the past term Suzy has taken, she knows that Russell was one of the philosophers discussed from their Introduction to Philosophy subject.

She later then remembers that this was also the same philosopher who authored the book she was looking for. Suzy eyes the book and checks the philosophy book’s title.

It was the right book.

She looks at the boy who was staring off into space. Will he even read those books? She thinks twice on approaching the boy and asking for the book until she felt the weight of the five books in her hands.

No. She dismissively thinks. I’ll finish these five first. Maybe that will be back in the shelves by tomorrow.

But she doesn’t find that book in the shelf the next day.

Instead, she spots it atop the boy’s desk again.

The boy was there again, still wearing the same black hoodie from yesterday, still staring out the window. Suzy sighs and glances at her wrist watch. It was already 4:36 pm. She knows that books can only be borrowed until 5:00pm on weekdays. It was Friday and the library wasn’t open at weekends. The book report was due on Monday, and she really needed to borrow that book out of the library for the weekend. She was running out of time.

Unlike yesterday when she hesitated, today she just marched on to the boy’s desk and asked for the book.

“Excuse me,” Suzy said in a soft, yet firm manner in order to get the spacey boy’s attention.

The boy’s gaze was still fixed to the window.

She gave a silent cough to get his attention. “Uhm, excuse me,” she said again, now in a clearer and louder tone.

The boy’s trance seemed to be lifted after that. Saying nothing, he turned to her and looked directly into Suzy’s eyes.

Suzy slightly analyzed his expression. His eyes were full of worry, and melancholy. Overall, he just looked dazed.

“Are you done with that book?” Suzy asked. Her voice breaking the silence.

The boy blinked then pointed to himself. “Are you…,” he sounded unsure. “Talking to me?”

Suzy stared at him for a while before answering. Maybe he’s just stressed or something. “Yes,” she nods. “You’re kind of the only person in this part of the library,” she adds with a hint of sarcasm, just to get the boy to wake up from his trance.

The boy’s expression changed from distress to confusion. “You can actually…,” he started to say but decided to stop in the middle of his sentence. He pushed back the hoodie down from his hair, revealing his dark brown curly hair, cleared his throat a bit and put on a straight face. “Of course,” giving off a nervous laugh, he seemed to be less ‘spacey’ than before. “Sorry, I must not have gotten enough sleep for the past few days,” he said to cover up for his seemingly odd behavior. “What were you asking for again?”

“That book,” Suzy pointed to the blue and white book on top of the strange boy’s table. “I need it for a book report this Monday,” she explained. “Are you done using it?”

The boy looked at the book and just stared at it.

Suzy glanced at her wrist watch. 4:43 pm. She needed to get that book. Fast.

She cleared . “If you don’t mind, may I borrow it?” she asked in a hurried tone which got the boy’s attention.

“Oh yeah, yeah,” the boy finally replies. He turns to his desk and starts to get the book with his right hand but pauses mid way after glancing at his hand. Sighing, he retracts his hand back slowly. He then gazes back at the long, wavy haired girl. “It’s all yours,” he gestures Suzy to get the book.

With one swift grabbing movement, Suzy took the book and bowed to the stranger. “Thank you,” she said before leaving.

The boy looked at Suzy’s slender figure and long wavy black locks as she walked away.

Who is she?

The boy sees Suzy in the library again. Today, she had her hair in a low messy ponytail and was returning the book back to the librarian. He observes her quite diligently from afar. He sees her give off a faint smile to the librarian as she handed off the book. She waited at the counter while the librarian searched for her borrower’s ID. Suzy looks to her shoes, her expression changing from the forced smile to complete despondency. It looked as if her mind was wandering off to another place. She looks up again when the librarian calls for her attention. She pulls up the sides of her lips again, a gesture the boy wouldn’t even consider a smile, and thanks the librarian.

Suzy was getting goose bumps. Somehow, she had the feeling that someone was watching her. She involuntary glances to the part of the library where she often sat. It was the hooded boy from before.

To the boy’s surprise, she maintains eye contact with him and acknowledges him with a little nod. The boy doesn’t nod back, or do anything. He was baffled yet again. He looks around him.

There was no one there.

Suzy leaves the library with her things in hand. The boy’s gaze fixed on her as she went out the door.

Without really thinking, he walks toward the door where the girl just exited, passing through some of the tables and shelves, with the librarian overlooking his existence.

She sees me?

Suzy was getting goose bumps again. It was 7:03 pm and she was walking home through a shadowy sidewalk, with the street lights just barely lighting her path with a faint yellow glow. She could have sworn someone was following her, but she doesn’t hear another pair of footsteps aside her own, nor does she see any other shadow of a being that might be behind her. She keeps her eyes forward, clutches on tightly to her hand bag, and tells herself to stop worrying. She was so sure she was the only one there.

 But she wasn’t.

Behind her lurked the boy from the library, his hood covering his messy dark russet hair. He looks at the girl who was in front of him, both of them not really aware that he had started following her outside school grounds.

The girl comes to a halt when she sees the pedestrian light turn red. It counted down to 105, letting all the vehicles pass in front of her. Her eyes are glued to the timer when she feels the presence of someone standing beside her. She looks up to the boy with the black hoodie and recognizes him as the ‘spacey boy from the library’. She notices for the first time how well-sculpt his facial features were on his bronzed skin. The faint lights from the street lamps emphasized his angles and his almond shaped eyes. The sides of his eyes wrinkled as he pulled up a smile and bowed at the girl. The girl bows back, forcing up another smile.

She looks back at the timer which now counted down to 83.

“Do you…” The boy starts to say and Suzy looks at him, his curious gaze focused on her. “Know me?”

Suzy’s face shifted from confusion to suspiciousness. She was thinking of multiple reasons why a stranger would ask her this. As far as she was concerned, he was the just the absent-minded boy who stared at the library window all afternoon long. She inhales a breath of air before answering him. “The boy from the library,” she says flippantly. “Thank you again for letting me borrow that book,” she says in a dismissing tone and looks back at the timer. Thirty-nine more seconds.

“Yes,” the boy gets her attention again. Evidently not pleased by her answer. “Is there anything more you know about me?” he said in a hinting tone. “Like my name, maybe?”

Suzy looked at him, stunned by his question. “Should I?” she answered. Her tone sounding more condescending than it should.

The boy’s gaze fell to the ground.

Finally, a green light shone, indicating that Suzy can finally cross. She leaves the boy and his thoughts on the sidewalk, not bothering to take a glance back at him.

“You must know me,” a familiar voice echoed behind her. Suzy spins around to see the hooded boy from the library, following her from behind.

Suzy was surprised the boy caught up to her, considering that she thought that he had stopped walking by the time she had crossed the street. Her eyes meet the boy’s gaze. She could trace the pained expression his face gave. His agony made evident by a subtly lit street lamp.

Suzy’s lips parted. She wanted to say no, like she did before, but there was something to this being’s aura that made her stay silent instead.

“Please?” he said in a heart breaking tone. “I think…,” his voice started shaking, “You’re the only one who can tell me.”

Suzy was more than perplexed. There she was in an empty street, with a person she barely knew, asking her to tell him who he was. It might be a joke, or some drunk, pompous way to pick up a girl, but the boy didn’t look like he was up for jokes, nor did he smell of alcohol. Just from the boy’s distressed expression, she somehow knew that he was serious.

The boy stares into Suzy’s bewildered eyes. Much to his anguish, the girl does not give him the answers he wanted.  “I’m sorry,” Suzy bows in apology instead. “I really don’t know you,” the girl’s words somehow ripping the boy’s heart more.

She avoids the gaze of the pain stricken lad and swiftly heads back the way she was originally going. The boy saw her turn away. He tries to stop her by grabbing one of her wrists but his touch merely passed through the girl’s arm.

Suzy gets goose bumps on her arm and rubs it. She didn’t wonder why she was getting goose bumps recently, not when she was too busy thinking why the boy from the library acted like that.

She hears the boy’s voice echo from afar. “How can you not know me, when you’re the only one who can see me?”

Suzy analyzed his words one by one. She didn’t stop walking though, she just continued her hastened steps forward, slightly feeling discomfort towards what the boy was saying. It made no sense at all. Was the boy mental? He didn’t seem that way back in school. Her train of thoughts stops when she runs into the boy again. This time, they were only steps away from reaching her house. Suzy blinks at the boy. How did he get here without passing me?

“I know, I may have sounded weird,” the boy clarifies. “And I’m sorry. I should have said this to you more directly,” he says in a more aggressive manner. He was taking steps toward Suzy, but Suzy took steps backward as he did so.

His footsteps stop when he sees Suzy avoiding his eyes. “You’re the only one who can see me,” he says in a solemn tone. Suzy now looked at him with a tinge of disbelief in her eyes. “I’ve been hanging around that school for the past few days, and you’re the only one who noticed my existence,” he states.

Suzy was about to say something when the boy shushes her and continues on with what he was saying. “I mean that literally. No one can see me, let alone even hear me,” he adds. “I could yell right now and no one would stop me,” he then proceeded to howling like a mad man, and Suzy tries to hush him, but he continues. She gives up and tries to slowly walk away from him, wondering why no one in their neighborhood yelled at him to keep quiet.

“See,” the boy points out. He was magically in front of Suzy again, but Suzy had enough of his wild imaginings. She rolls her eyes and ignores the boy. She begins to walk forward again. “You still won’t believe me, huh?” the boy crossed his arms, following her in front of her house.

Suzy hears this but does not respond. She puts on a blank face and continues to walk to the gate. She opens the lock, aware that the boy was leaning on the wall and watching her do so.

She takes one final glance at the boy before heading in. “I will not hesitate to call the police if you trespass,” she warns him with a stern look on her face.

The boy seems amused by her warning. He raised both his hands up, as in a surrender, and says, “Don’t worry. I won’t barge in if I’m not welcome.”

She slams the gate shut, leaving the boy outside. Before entering the house, she still sees the boy in front of the gates, peering at her before she got in. She gets goose bumps when their eyes meet. Her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance as she turned around, wishing that she had never met that creepy guy.

Suzy keeps an eye on the guy through the kitchen window. She was making their dinner that time, as it was part of her daily chores. The guy just leaned by the wall, next to the gate, unmoving. Suzy studied his expression, or lack of it, more likely. His gaze was somewhere far off. His stance remained steady. He was almost like a statue. He stayed in the pose for a solid 30 minutes. Suzy knows, she had the timer set the same time she started observing him. He only stopped with the endurance feat to take another look through the gates. Probably trying to spot where she was. Suzy sighs. Great, now a creep has followed me all the way home and apparently is persistent enough to stay for so long.

It was during this time - this one time - that Suzy wanted to see her aunt. She reckons that once her aunt sees that stalking youth outside her house, her aunt was bound to get him away.

But her aunt doesn’t.

Suzy hears the sound of the gate unlocking and opening. She peers through the window and sees her aunt trying to get inside with the hooded boy beside her, seemingly observing what her aunt was doing. Suzy furrowed her eyebrows. Her aunt doesn’t notice the tall boy who was standing next to her despite the boy’s intent gaze on her aunt. It was either that or her aunt chose to ignore him, which was highly unlikely, given her aunt’s short tolerance for, well, anything. It was a mystery why she seemed to not see the boy at all.

The boy’s words echoed inside Suzy’s head, “You’re the only one who can see me.” She shook off that thought immediately, thinking that it simply couldn’t be. Suzy’s aunt finally gets in the house, her keys clanging in her hands. Suzy looks to the window once more, the boy wasn’t outside anymore. This somehow gave Suzy a tinge of relief. Maybe he had left when he saw the adult enter the house. Her aunt asks her if dinner was ready, she replies with a yes and her aunt tells her to set up the table. She nods and her aunt goes upstairs. Suzy looks at the window just to check again if the boy truly left and true enough, the boy wasn’t waiting at the gates anymore.

Instead, she spots him inside their house, right at the spot where her aunt stood a few minutes ago. She leaps back in surprise, the boy sees her eyes widen and her lips parting. It was as if she saw a ghost, this being the most appropriate statement to describe the situation.

“What are you doing here?” she asked in a loud tone.

The boy put his finger on top of his lips, signaling her to shush down. “Lower your voice. You’re gonna sound like you’re talking to yourself.”

She scoffed. “Really?! I think that’s the least of my problems,” she remarked, still with a loud voice.

The boy sighed. “Fine. I’m not the one to look crazy anyway,” he mumbled.

Suzy glared at the boy. “GET OUT!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. “GET OUT BEFORE I CALL SECURITY!”

The boy just looked at her. His hand on his forehead, pushing back his dark brown hair, his expression filled with exasperation.

“SUZY!” her aunt yelled from upstairs. Suzy hears her hurried footsteps coming down the stairs. “What’s wrong? Is there someone who broke in?”

“There’s this boy, he’s been following me since this afternoon,” Suzy informs her.

“Well, maybe if you’d listen to me earlier, I wouldn’t have followed you this far,” the boy comments.

“What?” her aunt clarifies, she was downstairs now, looking at Suzy who was looking furious towards, nothing. “Suzy, what are you talking about?” she asked in an impatient tone.

“Him! He’s been following me all afternoon,” Suzy turns around to see her aunt and jabs a finger toward the boy. “Should I call security?”

Suzy sees her aunt’s eyebrows furrow. “Suzy, there’s no one there,” she says as a matter of factly. Suzy turns around and sees the boy grin while raising both of his shoulders, as if to say “I told you so.”

 Her aunt put a hand on her forehead in frustration. “Suzy, did you get enough sleep? Or are your medications taking a toll on you?” She rolled her eyes. “Get dinner ready and stop with your hallucinations,” she commands and leaves Suzy looking baffled and the boy looking amused.

Suzy stands on the living room, agape. The boy silently walks over to her.

“Now would you listen to me?” he whispers close to her ear.

Hairs raise all over her arm as she instinctively steps away from the boy who still had that grin plastered all over his face.

Suzy looks into his eyes but she doesn’t answer back. Instead, she shakes her head, puts the back of her hand on her forehead then her neck, as if checking her temperature and tells herself that she’s fine. The boy just smiles at how silly the girl looks while doing so. He sees her take a deep breath in and seemingly mouth an “Ignore him. He’s not real.” She then started to walk away from the living room, towards the kitchen.

Both corners of his lips suddenly drop when he saw this. “Don’t do that!” he yelled out of impulse. “I’m real, Suzy!”

Great. He- It, knows my name now... Suzy hummed a nervous tune to block out his voice.

“Suzy,” the boy repeated, almost in a whisper. Somehow he liked the way her name played in his mouth. It was somehow familiar. Like he’s said it a million times and can say it a million times more. The boy followed the girl to the kitchen. “Suzy. That is your name, right?” he asked, seemingly trying to build rapport with her.

She went on doing her chores, trying her best to ignore the boy who was now circling around her.

“Suzy. Suzy. Suzy. Suzy,” the boy playfully repeated her name again and again much to the girl’s aggravation. She simply pursed her lips together, avoiding to say anything, thinking he’s bound to go away if she stopped paying attention to him.

She checked the contents of each pot on the stove, a line of steam coming out from each one.  Everything looked nice and ready to serve. “Woah, those look good,” he commented whilst observing the girl in the kitchen. “Did you cook them all?” he asked, but did not get so much of a glance from the girl.

He sighed. “So you’re ignoring me now?”

“Suzy. Suzy. Suzy,” the boy continued now singing her name in a tune. He knew he was annoying her, but he didn’t care. He was going to get her listen to him one way or another.

“Are you done with your hallucinations?” Suzy’s aunt threw the question while the two were having dinner.

She knows the boy was standing beside her, leaning on one of the walls. I guess Aunt really can’t see him. This thought made her somewhat insecure. Was she really the only one to see this tall, somewhat creepy, boy? Could what he have said be the truth? Was there more to it?

But then again, her aunt could be right.

He might as well be just a figment of her imagination.

Suzy swallowed her food before answering her aunt. She nods and says, “I’m sorry. I stayed up all night yesterday. The lack of sleep might have caused worse side-effects from the medications the doctor gave me last week.”

The boy notices that the girl turns her eyes to him slightly before answering her aunt. He knows the girl lied. She could still see him. He understands why. He just sighs and decides to keep quiet for the rest the dinner. He didn’t want Suzy to look crazy in front of her aunt, or anyone, actually.

“Get more sleep then,” her aunt commented before stuffing with fried rice.

“I’ll try to.”

The boy sees Suzy’s gaze fall to her rice bowl. Her eyes looking more tired than ever.

He knew his existence bothered her. Maybe if she would just listen to him, maybe they could have solved the same questions they have right now. He just wanted to talk to her.

“I’m sorry,” the boy quietly says to the girl who was alone in the kitchen washing the dishes.

Suzy pauses for a while and turns her head towards the boy. She doesn’t say anything, as if waiting for the boy to say more.

“I know I’ve been a bother. I’m sorry,” he inhales. “I know you think that you might be crazy, but you’re not,” Suzy sees the sincerity in his eyes.

“I’m real. I exist,” he pounded a fist to his chest. “A few days ago, I thought I didn’t. I was wandering around that school, and tried to talk to anyone, anyone at all,” the girl sees the boy’s gaze drift into space, his eyes turn melancholic, as if reliving his story. “But they all passed right through me. They didn’t even stop and turn away from me, if they could, they might as well have stomped all over me.”

Suzy’s eyes remain to the boy who ruffles his already untidy looking hair in frustration. His story somehow tugging on Suzy’s sympathy.

“It’s no fun,” the boy concludes. “Being like this,” he paused, seemingly trying to find the right words to describe that feeling. He sighs. “No one seeing you. Feeling like you don’t exist. There came a point I wish I didn’t exist,” he then laughs bitterly after tracing pity in Suzy’s expression.

Wishing I didn’t exist… Suzy was well aware of how that feels.

 “So after three days, I decided to stop asking around. I just couldn’t bear that feeling anymore. I went to a quiet place in that school, the library. I stayed in that corner where you first saw me, staring out that window, trying to make sense of everything. Exactly what happened before all of this? What made me like this?

“As I was trying to recall the past events that might have happened to me, I suddenly realize, I had no memories to go back to. I didn’t even know that school I was in. Nothing of it looked familiar. The people there too. I know none of them. I didn’t even know where to go home to. Did I even have a family? I had nothing. I didn’t even know who I was! I don’t even know my own name!

“Then you come up to me and actually talk to me. At first I thought, may be whatever spell that was cast on me was gone. Maybe people can see me now. But then they still couldn’t. I then wonder why you could,” he then gestured both of his hands to Suzy. She, on the other hand, still hasn’t said anything, but interest was lingering in her eyes. She hasn’t said a word since the boy started his monologue, but he knew she was finally listening.

So he continues.

“I’m sorry to have bothered you up till now, but I’m this desperate,” he sighed. “And since you’re the only one who acknowledges my existence, I thought that maybe you could help me…” His tone soften, signifying the end of his monologue.

Suzy avoids his eyes and looks down at the sink. “I can’t help you,” she replies quietly. She looks up to see the boy’s melancholic expression, those pitiful eyes that tugged at her heartstrings. But no matter how touched she felt by the boy’s situation, Suzy was more practical than fanciful. She wasn’t good at comforting others, or ‘fixing’ problems. If she did, she would have already started fixing hers.

“I don’t even know you,” she manages to croak out. “If you can find some other person to help you, I think that would be better for both of us.”

“Like who?”

“I don’t know! Anyone’s better than me!” she snapped in frustration. “Now go away, please.”

 “Are you always this cold?” The boy shook his head. He studied Suzy’s expression all throughout their conversation and he somehow knew that she didn’t mean what she had just said.

 “Maybe you’re like this because you’re not used to me being around,” the boy remarked.

The girl rolled her eyes, “Yeah, that’s my problem,” she said heavy with sarcasm.

“In a few days you’ll get used to it,” the boy cheerfully stated. “Let’s be good friends Suzy!” he said, trying to build rapport with her one more time.

“As if I have a choice,” Suzy started leaving the kitchen and headed upstairs. There was no point in trying to reason with the boy, she thought. If it was her fate to get stuck with him, then she’ll just have to live with it. It wasn’t the first time ‘misfortune’ struck her.

The corner of the boy’s lips pull up to a smile as he sees Suzy’s retreating figure. He could tell this “cold” person thing was just a façade. If she were really that rotten, she would have argued with him towards the end. She’s a nice person… Kind of sullen, but still nice.