03.
OopsYoungjae breathed in deeply as he sat down on one of the chairs in the crowded doctor's office. He felt so awkward and out of place here and the teen was certain everyone was staring at him. He'd never felt guilty for having before but right now, he seriously felt like a . A pregnant teen . I am a . He reminded himself. He didn't really care, he enjoyed – What he didn't enjoy were these grown women staring at him and whispering to each other. It wasn't any of their business whether he was pregnant or not.
He finally forced himself to look up, letting out a soft sigh. The last month and a half had been so hectic and Youngjae felt like his world was spinning, faster and faster with each day. The teen still wasn't on speaking terms with his own mother; he'd been living with Himchan and his family. Mrs. Kim had been so kind, giving him advice and taking care of him but he felt guilty. Youngjae still hadn't told Jung Daehyun. The man was so irritating, always ignoring him during class. Even the other students had noticed.
Youngjae had tried speaking to him but each and every time, Daehyun would cut him off and pretend like nothing had ever happened between the two of them. He could see the irritation growing on his teacher's face each time he tried after class, it was obvious Daehyun was becoming frustrated with the fact that he would just not let it go. Youngjae was beginning to think maybe he didn't even need to tell him – who knows what he would do? It wasn't fair to the baby though and he needed help. Youngjae was well aware of that.
He subconsciously touched his lower stomach, hearing two women excitedly going on about their pregnancies and how far along they were, his eyes slowly falling towards her stomach. She must be having a horse. He thought, wondering if his own stomach would get that big. His ears perked up at the sound of 'twins' and it was like everything kind of froze for that moment. He'd never thought about that before – twins. What if he himself was going to have twins? The thought was horrifying. There better only be one of you little demons in here. Youngjae thought to himself.
He looked up hearing his name before slowly standing up from the chair. The teen felt so anxious and nervous – this was his first proper appointment for the baby. Not that Youngjae would admit it, but it really hurt that Mrs. Kim had been the one to help him set one up. He nervously clenched and unclenched his hands, the nurse smiling at him. “How are you?” She asked as they walked towards the scale.
“I'm okay.” He breathed and stepped on the scale, but he wasn't paying any attention. His world was spinning again and it was another one of those random moments when this whole pregnancy thing felt real. Youngjae blindly followed the nurse towards one of the examining rooms, sitting down on the table and staring off in a daze as she then took his blood pressure.
He was seriously pregnant. “Are you okay?” The nurse asked softly.
“Uhhh.” Youngjae swallowed thickly before slowly nodding his head. He couldn't quite get his voice to work. The woman stared at him for a moment before telling him she'd be back with some water. She came back a few minutes later with a cup of ice cold water and it wasn't until she left that Youngjae finally drank some; it definitely helped, making him snap out of his daze and relax some. There wasn't any sense in getting so worked up, he just needed to relax.
Youngjae felt so, so tired. Moving out from his mother's home, pregnancy junk and school was taking it out on him. The teen wondered for a moment, just a split second if he would regret not aborting the baby. He quickly shook his head and touched his stomach again. Sorry for even thinking that, lil demon. It was so strange, to know there was a life inside of him – that he was carrying a human, baby. . . He shook his head before looking up when there was a knock at the door and someone stepped inside.
“Hello.” A man smiled at him and held out his hand for the younger to shake. “I'm Kang Insoo.” He introduced himself and Youngjae couldn't help but feel relieved the doctor was another male. That kind of made things easier for him. Insoo looked down at his clipboard, going over the information Youngjae had just filled out earlier in the waiting room, occasionally asking him a few questions.
Everything felt so surreal as the two went over things, clearing up details and when Insoo told him the estimated due date of his baby, he gasped. It was embarrassing but he literally gasped out loud. His baby was going to be born May 20th and although that was still quite a while away, it was utterly terrifying. He breathed in shakily, meeting eyes with his amused doctor.“Would you like to hear your baby's heartbeat?” Insoo asked.
“Uh, sure.” Youngjae nodded his head. He didn't know what he'd been expecting but hearing his baby's heartbeat was certainly not it. He nervously moved to lie back, staring up at the ceiling as he pulled his shirt up just enough for the doctor. The man told him the gel would be a little cold but Youngjae wasn't paying much attention. All he could think about was how this was really happening and how he had no support. It . Youngjae really wished his mother was here – or just anyone to hold his hand.
He finally broke out of his daze when Insoo told him he'd flip the screen around in just a moment for him to see the baby. He was going to get to see the thing growing inside of him. “Does it look healthy?” Youngjae quietly asked and smiled slightly when the doctor nodded his head. The teen's breath was taken away when he heard the unmistakable sound of a heartbeat - “That's the baby?” He asked, in awe and when the older man nodded his head, Youngjae's eyes starting filling with tears. It was so overwhelming but such a comforting sound.
“The baby is right here-” Insoo pointed towards the screen, tracing with his finger where the baby was.
Youngjae wiped at his eyes, before squinting to look at the screen and then he was crying even harder. “Oh my god.” He covered his mouth and looked back towards the screen. He couldn't really tell what he was even looking at. “I'm having a blob.” Insoo couldn't help but laugh as he explained the image a little more, explaining how the baby was doing and what stage it was currently out.
Youngjae felt so many things. Scared, confused, overwhelmed but mostly thankful. His baby was healthy so far and that was what was most important. I love you. He thought as he stared at the screen, still unable to find exactly where his little demon was. This appointment was like a wake up call – he couldn't do this alone.
Youngjae needed to tell Jung Daehyun.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
“How did it go today?” Himchan asked as the two sat down at their normal lunch table.
“I heard little demon's heartbeat.” Youngjae grinned, he felt like he was floating on air instead of just dread. He knew later, when he calmed down, that reality would hit again and his happiness would die down so for right now he just wanted to enjoy this. The baby was healthy so far, he'd heard it's heartbeat – it was okay to feel happy. He reached behind himself to grab something out of his book bag. “Here.” He handed a small photo over to his friend.
Himchan carefully took it before furrowing his brows. “. . . Where is it?”
Youngjae pursed his lips. “I don't know either, to be honest.” The older man was laughing and then he couldn't help but laugh too. Himchan handed the small photo back to him and he let himself stare at it, gently the spot where he was told his little demon was at. He couldn't tell much about the photo, no, not really. It just looked like a blob. Maybe, I should call you blob instead. He thought before putting away the picture.
He sighed softly, exhaustion suddenly taking over again. The teen had left the doctor's office and headed to school right after; just in time for Jung Daehyun's class. That was a bit of a mood dampener, especially since Mr. Jung seemed determined to completely ignore his existence. . He thought in annoyance before taking a huge bite of his apple. “I think it'll be a boy.” Youngjae said after a moment.
“Why?”
“I just think little demon is a boy.”
“What are you actually going to name him then?” Himchan asked and the younger teen pursed his lips before shrugging. He didn't have any names yet. “You can't just call it little demon for the rest of it's life.”
“Relax, Himchan. I've got like, a bunch of months before he's born.” The thought of actually picking out a name was scary and it was all his decision. I could name you Billy-Bo and there's nothing you could do to stop me. He thought, his hand subconsciously touching his lower stomach. It was all up to him. The only thing Youngjae had ever named was his gold fish.
Which had died.
From starvation.
. Youngjae frowned deeply, wondering how he was ever going to do this. He really didn't have any experience with kids and he wasn't even good at taking care of himself. He really wanted to be a good dad, to give his baby the things he'd never had growing up but how could he do that by himself? It was obvious to the teen that he couldn't do that. He needed help, a lot of it but who would help? His mother had basically disowned him and Mr. Jung wouldn't even acknowledge his existence. Youngjae already felt so guilty mooching off of Himchan's mother even though she had been more than willing to help.
It still wasn't right. Youngjae sighed heavily, resting his cheek against his knuckles. Yep, he was definitely coming down from his high now. “How am I ever going to do this?” He murmured and Himchan shrugged. “Thanks.” He rolled his eyes before getting up and leaving his friend behind. He was starting to feel sick again and he was heading straight towards the bathrooms.
Youngjae paused, noticing his teacher talking with one of the students in the hallway. He frowned deeply, narrowing his eyes. Oh, so you can talk to them but not me? He made an annoyed noise before sticking his nose into the air and stomping past them. He was doing it on purpose, being as obnoxious and loud as possible and he could feel the two's eyes on him. No, he didn't really blame Mr. Jung for ignoring him but still. . .
The teen wished he would've at least gotten knocked up by someone his age. Or even Himchan. He scrunched up his face; actually, maybe not Himchan. Yeah, no, he didn't wanna have Himchan's kid. One Himchan was enough, Youngjae didn't think he could handle two of them.
He glanced over his shoulder, eyebrows raising in surprise when he realized Mr. Jung was still staring at him, only now the student he was speaking to was gone. Youngjae slowly turned around, putting his hands on his hips, never once breaking the eye contact. The teen didn't know exactly what was going on – he couldn't tell what Jung Daehyun was thinking at all.
And then suddenly the bell was going off and just like that, Mr. Jung turned away and went back into his classroom. ing . Youngjae rolled his eyes and started towards his next class.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
“You're a .” Youngjae murmured as he moved to lie back in his friend's bed, watching as his friend saved nudes some guy had just sent him. He found it amusing just how many guys his friend was playing.
“You're a .” Himchan said without taking his eyes off his computer. A moment passed and he glanced over his shoulder. “At least I'm not pregnant.” He added, grinning playfully.
“I could change that.”
Himchan laughed and rolled his eyes before fully focusing on his mission again. It felt good to have some peace and quiet as Youngjae let himself relax, trying not to think of much. His rested his hand on his lower stomach, wondering if he could eat five tacos from taco bell and not get sick – because really, that's what he wanted right now. Five tacos and maybe some ice cream. Yeah, definitely some ice cream. “I'm dying.” Youngjae couldn't help the whine in his voice.
“That's nice.” Himchan murmured and the younger teen let out a loud whine before covering his face with his friend's pillow. The older let out a loud sigh before spinning around in his chair. “Why are you dying?”
“I'm so hungry I could go insane.” Youngjae sat up and groaned loudly. “It's like, bam, my hunger is back with a vengeance and I mean, on the way home I even looked at a cow, a living, mooing cow and thought 'That looks delicious' – I'm going to go insane. It's like nothing fills me up.” He flipped Himchan off when the older wiggled his eyebrows. “You know what I mean so shut up.”
“Well, what do you want?” Himchan crossed his arms over his chest and the younger couldn't help but smile in victory. He could get the older to do almost anything for him.
“Tacos. Lots of tacos.”
“You owe me one, .” The older teen sighed as he stood up and grabbed his jacket from the floor. “I'll be back in a few.”
“Love you!” Youngjae grinned and laughed when his friend muttered 'I'm sure' before leaving him alone in the bedroom. He smiled to himself when he thought about how everyone at school generally feared Himchan but to him, his friend was as harmless as a fly. He's as annoying as a fly, that's for sure. Youngjae thought before lying back again and staring up at the ceiling.
Another day was almost over. It felt like time was going by too fast and there was still so much he needed to do. Tell Daehyun, get a job, buy baby clothes and whatever else they needed – maybe even drop out of school. He'd been thinking about that for a while, simply thinking maybe it'd be better to just get his GED and focus on working instead. There was no way in hell he could stay in school and support a child at the same time.
Besides, Youngjae had been thinking about dropping out for a while now. This just gave him an actual excuse to do it. It wasn't that he was necessarily bad at school but sitting in a classroom with a bunch of s he couldn't stand was extremely tiring.
What kind of background did Jung Daehyun come from? Could he support the baby? That was the main reason why Youngjae still hadn't dropped the idea of telling him. He'd already decided he didn't like Mr. Jung but he was still the father, who Youngjae hoped had some money. Maybe not some money but a lot of money, actually. That sounded really nice.
You deserve nothing but the best. He thought, that stupid 'Royals' song – and we'll never be royals – popping into his head before he quickly forced himself to think of something else. Daddy's going to try his best, you know. The word 'Daddy' repeated round and round inside his head and Youngjae couldn't help but smile. That was his first time thinking of himself like that. He really was going to be the father of a baby. I might be a ty dad but at least I'll never sell you in the black market.
Youngjae finally decided tomorrow he would go out job searching, instead of sleeping in and relaxing some like he normally did on Saturdays. Nope, things had to change from here on out. Mission one: get a ing job. Youngjae wondered if he could just be a stripper. They made good money, right? The teen sighed loudly. He wasn't even old enough to be a stripper anyway.
“Here.” Himchan broke him out of his thoughts and shoved the taco bell bag at him.
“You are a god, Himchan.”
“Yeah, like I don't know that already.” He stuck his nose into the air before going back to his computer. “Now, if you and your pregnant don't mind, I've got a six o'clock ting date with a super hot kid from across town.”
It wasn't longer than sixteen minutes when he heard a horrified: “Oh, god, why-” and Himchan spun around, looking at all the empty wrappers spread out on his bed. “I'm going to puke.” Youngjae said casually as he stood up from his friend's bed and headed towards the bathroom.
“ing idiot.” The older teen muttered before turning back around and continuing his conversation, the sound of Youngjae gagging in the background killing his a little bit.
And that was how Youngjae learned eating five tacos in a row was definitely not a good idea.
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