Myungsoo opened his eyes to a dimly lit room, lying straight on his back. He blinked several times to get a better image of where he was.

A pain shot through his knee, flinching in his rest. He lifted his head to scan the area.

He was in the infirmary bunker of the Pyongyang base. He recognized this place from a time he had to walk Sungyeol here for spraining an ankle. Concrete walls surrounded him, the space enclosing him and his lungs. A bit of caustrophobia shattered through his body. His shirt was off, the cool cot sending chills down his spine. Different soldiers he had seen around the base were lying down in the same way he was, resting with some of them wrapped in bandages. 

A nurse walks into their room. "Do any of you need anything?"

Myungsoo lifts his head up highter to look at his body: both of his knees wrapped in bandage as well as his waist. His memories were faint, unable to remember the last thing that happened before he got to this state.

The nurse walked over to one of the soldiers, for help as he clutched his bandaged arm. "Woohyun-sshi, how are you doing?"

"Woohyun?" Myungsoo used all the strength he had to sit himself up on his cot, watching Woohyun as he was seemingly unconscious. He was trying to get a grip of his vision, things were still a little hazy.

"My arm. It hurts Sojin-sshi." A pulsing pain erupted in his arm. Woohyun flinched to the side.

"Woohyun!" Myungsoo struggled to get himself out of bed, standing up and almost falling over from the pain in his legs. He gained control of his senses and stumbled to Woohyun's bedside, landing right next to Woohyun's head. Myungsoo moved his bangs out of his face, several scratches on his forehead. His friend was hurt, the war taking its toll. "Woohyun, tell me you're ok." 

"Myungsoo," Woohyun called out, trying to get up but the pain preventing him from doing so. He spazzed in his cot, falling back down. 

"Woohyun, please don't move right now. You'll be ok." Sojin placed a wet cloth on Woohyun's forehead, the coolness dripping down his face and easing his migraine.

"Hang in there. We're going to make it. We're all going to make it, live through the pain," Myungsoo encouraged, taking Woohyun's hand and bringing it to his heart for energy and compassion.

Woohyun could feel Myungsoo's heartbeat, a symbol of life. The life that he had, but in his mind was the trauma of seeing his fellow soldiers fall one-by-one. The trenches were a nightmare that Woohyun lived through. "Myungsoo, General Kang." Woohyun did his best to muster out the last few words. "They took General Kang captive."

Myungsoo's whole body quivered, letting go of Woohyun's hand and taking a step back from the news. 

"I'm sorry Myungsoo. He's gone." A single tear fell down from Woohyun's face. "I couldn't protect him..."

Suddenly Myungsoo's memories before his recovery in the infirmary came in like a jolt of lightning, every single second remembered. "Sungjong..." he muttered.

Woohyun could barely hear a word he said. "What?"

Myungsoo panicked, shifting his head left and right to find Sungjong in the infirmary. He was nowhere to be found in the bunker. He ran out of the darkness, running outside to find the whole base in a frenzy. People were standing around, discussing different aspects of Pyongyang's battle and Sotena's retreat. Some cried over fallen troop soldiers, others spreading rumors about who survived and who did not. Many were helping carry out fellow wounded soldiers in and out of the infirmary, to their residents, or letting them rest outside. Officials were running all over the place, discussing out loud the next plan of attack and what to do next. Myungsoo had no idea how this battle ended, the noise accumulating around him and entering his head like mush. He could almost feel his knees giving out.

"Myungsoo!" Dongwoo and Sunggyu ran up to Myungsoo, who was close to collapsing until Dongwoo grabbed him in time. "Myungsoo! Is Woohyun still in there?"

"What?" Nothing made sense to Myungsoo. "Yes, Woohyun is there. Where's everyone else?"

"Hoya and Sungyeol went off to somewhere, I think back to the residences," Dongwoo answered.

"What happened today? I don't remember anything."

"A rocket missile attacked Mansudae, where your long distance group has posted. You suffered from the explosion, and Hoya and Sungyeol dragged you out. Korea and Japan were able to keep Sotena troops away from the city center. After the third wave, Sotena called to retreat. A lot of their troops came down today, we came out on top. This time. The battle went for almost six hours. It's Tuesday. You've slept for quite some time. It's 2:00 right now," Sunggyu explained.

That's why I don't remember anything. "Where is Sungjong?"

Sunggyu and Dongwoo looked at each other, blank expressions on their faces.

They gave no answer.

Myungsoo repeated himself, his heart racing in anticipation. "Where is Sungjong?"

Someone had to speak. "You... you don't remember what you told Hoya and Sungyeol?" Sunggyu stammered, thinking about everything making him emotional.

More images from the battle came to his mind. He remembered working the artillery with Sungjong, taking turns firing mortars at the enemy. Then he remembered bringing Sungjong down to protect him from the rocket attack.

And then Myungsoo remembered it all. The screams. The hopelessness. The capture.

"No..." Myungsoo brought his hands to his face. This can't be happening. He shook his head, refusing to believe anything.

"Myungsoo..." Dongwoo took a step forward to try and comfort him.

"No!" Myungsoo pushed Dongwoo away, limping towards the residential bunks for Hoya and Sungjong's tent. His knees were falling on him, but he found the strength to carry on and find his friend. Sunggyu and Dongwoo followed him from behind, trying to stop him and calm him down, but Myungsoo walked faster.

Myungsoo saw Sungyeol standing at the entrance of Hoya and Sungjong's tent, his arms crossed as he looked down at his shoes. His face forlorn, bothered by something. Myungsoo walked a little faster to get to the tent, making eye contact with Sungyeol before he got there.

"Don't go in," Sungyeol tried, sticking his arm out.

Myungsoo swatted Sungyeol's hand away, the pain taking over but using all the energy possible to get through and inside.

Hoya was sitting at the edge of his bed, his face turned away from Myungsoo. He was looking at a picture next to their bunk bed, sitting atop their oak drawer. The picture had a classic look. It was of Sungjong, his official soldier picture in his uniform suit and hair brushed to the side. It was in black and white. Hoya remembered that, because even though it came out in color Sungjong requested it copied with no saturation because he thought it was simpler and made him look more mature. Hoya continued to stare at the picture, unfazed by Myungsoo standing at the doorway.

Myungsoo heard Hoya whimpering on his bed, as if Hoya was silently crying. Myungsoo saw the picture, and in his blurry peripheral a tear drip from Hoya's chin and splash on his knees. Hoya was hugging himself, alone in his bedroom and trying to comfort himself. Sungjong, I failed you. This is my fault. I should have had better judgement. I lost you, brother. I lost you.

"Sungjong..." Myungsoo said to himself. He's gone. 

It was real. Everything was real. No matter how much Myungsoo did not want to believe it, confirmation of his deepest fears came to life. He walked towards Hoya, his body giving out and making him collapse on Hoya's bed. As Myungsoo fell, every emotion hit his heart. He fell with his arms open, embracing Hoya from behind to give him the comfort and love he needed for his roommate getting captured. Myungsoo embraced hoya hoping to get comfort and love for one  of his closest friends getting captured. Myungsoo's body was shaking as he cried with Hoya, hoping the pain would go away through the sense of touch.

Sunggyu, Dongwoo, and Sungyeol watched from the entrance hopelessly. Their heads bowed down in respect, the same thing ran through everybody's heads.

They lost a friend.

(((())))

Not a single soul slept.

Dongwoo and Hoya sat outside of the infirmary bunk, awaiting Woohyun's discharge. For always having something to talk about, they did not say a single word to each other.

The base had been quiet since the attack on Pyongyang. Everyone was walking on pins and needles, keeping on their toes just in case Sotena had a surprise attack. Friends did not speak. Brothers did not speak. Speaking in such a lighthearted manner was assumed that you had no close friend who's life was taken during the battle. Many good soldiers died yesterday, and as they counted the bodies the names were adding up.

"What's going to happen now?" Dongwoo asked, making an infinite sign in the dirt with the heel of his shoe.

Hoya overheard Sunggyu talk to Captain Peo and Lieutenant General Yoshida about the next course of action. He was waiting for the news from Sunggyu about the fate of Squad 10609. "Sunggyu is still meeting with them. We'll find out."

Woohyun made his way out of the infirmary, holding onto his arm and joining his friends outside. "How's it going, guys?"

"Woohyun," Dongwoo smiled, carefully hugging Woohyun tight enough so he did not feel any pain.

"How are you? Are you feeling better?" Hoya asked.

"A lot better. After the bullet hit my arm, they took me in to get the bullet removed. They had to cut a little more skin to pull it out, and goddamn it hurt so badly. Sojin stitched it up nicely, don't you think?" Woohyun raised his t-shirt, his wound threaded together. 

"I'm glad you're feeling better." Dongwoo patted on Woohyun's shoulder. "Sungjong was captured by Sotena."

"Sunggyu came in this morning to tell me. So is General Kang," Woohyun nodded.

Hoya thought it was too soon to be talking about this as if it was gossip. His mood morose, he grunted to try and get his mind off of the fact. 

Sunggyu finished his meeting with the officials and administration, walking towards the three of them with much urgency. "Woohyun, you're back on your feet."

"I am. What's going on right now?" Woohyun asked.

Sunggyu clasped his hands together, unable to even begin. "There's a lot of things going on right now. Tomorrow night at 23:00, some of us will be packing up in trucks to go through the mountains and infiltrate Yundo. An announcement will come soon enough which troops are heading over. Japan's troops will stay here for another two weeks, and Lieutenant General Yoshida will be helping Captain Sungho of Squad 11570 here. Squads 80029 and 05072 will be moving in here tomorrow morning around 5:00 for more reinforcement in case of another Sotena attack."

"There's a possibility we might go to Sotena land?" Dongwoo wondered.

"Yeah. There is, so we have to be prepared to be on the move," Sunggyu affirmed.

Sergeant Hoya could care less, almost losing the energy and fighting spirit he had when Sungjong left. With a lack of sleep and no food in his system, he was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode at any given moment. His face was blank, showing no emotion in anything. 

"Should we get food for now? I haven't eaten since yesterday." Woohyun held his grumbling stomach.

(((())))

The cafeteria fed soldiers soup that day. The place was packed with more soldiers than usual, the battle hungering everyone out. Sungyeol and Myungsoo found a spot outside next to the flagpole, a brick fencing with enough room to sit on.

Myungsoo had the metal bowl of kimchi soup squeezed between his thighs. He had no appetite.

"Please eat, Myungsoo. You have to eat," Sungyeol begged.

"I can't," Myungsoo mumbled.

Sungyeol placed his bowl next to him, moving Myungsoo's thighs to grab onto his bowl. He brought it up to Myungsoo's mouth. 'Sip."

Myungsoo fought back, but in the end he opened his mouth slightly to allow the river of soup to pour into his mouth. The broth quenched his thirst and fed him adequately, his lips and feeling satisfied. Sungyeol placed the bowl next to his own. "Thanks."

The rest of their friends found them by the flagpole, bringing in their bowls of soup to eat. 

"Woohyun, you're alright," Sungyeol grinned.

"I'm always going to be alright. When the sun don't shine, I'll be ok," Woohyun started.

They ate their meals in silence. Some people sat down with Sungyeol and Myungsoo while the others opted to stand. All together, a spirit was missing was clearly missing from their group. There was no solidarity, everyone with Sungjong on their minds. It was the obvious that no one wanted to acknowledge. No one wanted to accept it was truth.

It was no longer complete.

"Are we going to talk about..." Dongwoo stopped talking after he saw everyone almost giving him a death stare. "Nevermind."

Everyone continued to sip their soups, filling their stomachs with the much needed warmth that the human heart could not provide in this moment. 

"This soup is good huh?" Sungyeol tried to start a conversation with everyone.

"Yeah." Sunggyu's one-worded answer put an end to that possibility.

"We need to find Sungjong." Everyone turned to look at Myungsoo, who suddenly spoke up. His heart was heavy, but he did not think the worse. "We... we need to find him."

Hoya stayed fairly quiet for the most part, his heart yearning for Sungjong to return. He had to stay realistic for all of them, taking the negative side of the spectrum. "Myungsoo, he's gone. What are we going to do?"

"I don't know." Myungsoo was out of his mind, the moment when they dragged Sungjong out of his vicinity replayed in his head over and over. He could not live with the consequences of seeing his friend taken away like that. He had to redeem himself. "Wherever he is in Sotena, we just have to find him."

"Myungsoo, stop it." Hoya's face was stern, throwing his empty bowl to the side. "Sungjong isn't coming back."

"How can you think like that? Don't you have faith that there's a chance, a little percentage, but a chance nonetheless that he is still breathing? They didn't kill him."

"Don't talk to me about faith, Myungsoo. I had faith in you that you would protect Sungjong."

The shots were fired. 

"Don't say that right now." Hoya triggered something in Myungsoo, the traumatic memories replaying with much more dramatic detail. A guilt pained his heart, eating it alive and leaving him to the floor dead. Myungsoo wished he was the one they took instead. "Hoya, how can you say something like that?"

Hoya stomped his feet, his body getting worked up talking about it. Everything turned into a blame game, pointing at Myungsoo's chest. "You were supposed to take care of him. You promised that when we were standing together in your room. You were supposed to guard him. You just watched him get taken without doing anything."

Myungsoo thought he was going to cry. His friend telling these things to his face hurt him more than any bullet or explosion could do. It was as if Hoya was telling him he did not deserve to be Sungjong's friend. Emotions were high, and the tension was building between them. Myungsoo stood up to look at Hoya eye level. He clenched his fist. "You do not have any right to blame me for that. What kind of friend are you, Hoya?"

"I'm actually Sungjong's friend. You failed Sungjong, and you failed everyone in this circle today," Hoya barked.

Myungsoo swung his fist at Hoya's nose, knocking him to the floor. Sungyeol grabbed onto Myungsoo pulled him back. Sunggyu and Woohyun stood in the middle. Dongwoo helped pick Hoya up, blood dripping down his nose.

"Hoya! Myungsoo! Calm down right now, we're all friends here. Sungjong isn't here, but we can't be fighting," Sunggyu started. "Especially not like this..."

Hoya wiped away the blood from his nose, looking at Myungsoo in disgust. He spit to the side, shaking his head. Without saying another word, Hoya kicked the bowl and walked away. Everyone was watching him as he stormed off the premises. Hoya was not in a mood to be messed with, and other soldiers watched him leave without saying anything to him.

"I'll go follow him," Dongwoo sighed.

"Me too." Sunggyu and Dongwoo ran after Hoya to help comfort him.

"Look, you can't talk to Hoya like that right now. Hoya is obviously feeling down since Sungjong was his roommate," Woohyun lectured.

"What?!" Myungsoo shrugged Sungyeol off of him, his eyes watering from feeling disappointed by everyone around him. Sungjong was gone, and no one wanted to believe that he could still be alive. "Hoya is the only one in this group allowed to feel bad for Sungjong? What kind of ing friends are you all?" Myungsoo hardly blew up, but the liability of being responsible for Sungjong yesterday took a toll on his mental health. The after effects were worse than any other doctor or nurse could possibly imagine for Myungsoo.

"No, that's not what he meant." Sungyeol frowned.

"Hoya doesn't get a free pass for being an because Sungjong is gone. You know, Sungjong was my friend too. He was special to me too, not just Hoya." Myungsoo could not deal with everyone much longer. He wiped a tear falling on his cheek, leaving Woohyun and Sungyeol alone by the flagpole. Sungjong was important to me. He was important to all of you. How ing dare you say that...

Woohyun tried to follow him, but Sungyeol put his arm up to stop him. "Leave him alone for now. Myungsoo needs to be alone. I think we all need to be alone."

(((())))

Dear Mom,

I'm going to sleep soon, so I'm writing this letter in an attempt to keep myself together.

I made it. I lived to write this letter to you, but at what cost?

At the cost of watching fellow soldiers get taken down by Sotena troops? At the cost of watching my country get destroyed? We defended Pyongyang, and now we even have some of Sotena's soldiers as prisoners of war. But at what cost? I take responsibility for all of this. It's my fault this happened. Maybe Hoya has a right being mad with me. 

Was it worth the cost of watching two unnamed and unknown Sotena soldiers penetrated our place in Mansudae and...

Mom, I regret to say this with all my heart. Sotena took Sungjong.. 

This is all a mess. I don't know what I'm going to do. Stay strong? What does that mean?

I'll try to stay strong for you, mom. Even though it's hard.

Kim Myungsoo

(((())))

Please, I beg you. I will do anything. Don't, please, don't!

"Sungjong... don't take him..." 

Myungsoo pulled his covers over his head, trying to block out yesterday's image from entering his dreams at midnight.

STOP IT! I BEG YOU STOP IT!

"Stop it. Please, give him back. Leave him alone..."

Myungsoo twisted and turned, rattling the bunk in restlessness. He grabbed his pillow and threw it against the tent walls to attack Sotena troops in his slumber.

Myungsoo! Myungsoo! Myungsoo!

The scene of soldiers dragging a helpless Sungjong out haunted his mind, sending Myungsoo into a horrific scream. "NO, SUNGJONG!" 

Sungyeol immediatey woke up and rolled out of his bed, peering to the top to check up on his friend. His whole top bunk was a mess, pillows everywhere, arms flailing, bedsheets close to falling off and strangling him. Sungyeol tried to shake his bed covers, his hand covered in some weird liquid. Myungsoo's sheets were soaking wet with his bodily sweat. "Myungsoo!" he tried.

"NO! SUNGJONG I'M HERE. I'M HERE THIS TIME, PLEASE LET HIM GO!" Myungsoo was still fast asleep, unable to wake up from his memories. He started to cry for Sungjong, weeping in his bed and begging for mercy.

"Myungsoo, please!" Sungyeol did the only thing he could do and pulled himself up to the top bunk, kneeling on top of Myungsoo's bed and hovering over him. He looked down at a troubled Myungsoo, squirming in his bed from the guilt of Sungjong's capture. Myungsoo took hold of a bed sheet and hugged it for himself, tears streaming down his face in agonizing pain. "Myungsoo... you're going to be ok..."

Sungyeol lay himself down with Myungsoo's back facing him. Sungyeol took his arm and surrounded Myungsoo's waist, pulling him close to suffocate him with comfort. Sungyeol adjusted his head to rest Myungsoo's under his chin, nuzzling his nose in his sweaty hair. Myungsoo tried to resist in his nightmare, thinking that someone else captured him now. He struggled to get out of Sungyeol's embrace.

"No, let go of me! Let go of me! Let go of me..."

"Myungsoo, it's ok. It's Sungyeol. It's me." Sungyeol moved his hand up to Myungsoo's face, caressing his cheek gently and running his fingers through his hair. Myungsoo was in a pitiful state, and Sungyeol hated it. "Please go to sleep. Please stop crying." 

"No, please..."

Sungyeol moved his body closer to his, not a single gap between them as they rested together on the bed. It almost made Sungyeol cry seeing how hopeless Myungsoo felt about everything, as if every emotion his best friend felt encapsulated his heart. Myungsoo did not deserve any of it, and Sungyeol wanted him to know that. Sungyeol sniffed his nose from the cold, pulling one of the kicked off blankets over the both of them to sleep. "Everything is going to be ok, Myungsoo. Sungyeol is here. We're going to find Sungjong, ok? Please stop crying... Please..."