After only three days since we fought, Kyuhyun was brought to the hospital and was diagnosed for leukemia. He got his disease a year ago, but it just became malignant nowadays. I wonder why he haven’t told me about this. I felt guilty for what I did to him, so I decided to visit him at the hospital. He looked really weak and pitiful. Every time I look at him lying on the hospital bed, my heart is like pricked with a very sharp needle continuously, bleeding and hurting every time. I just got to know him for a short time, but I really feel a sense of belongingness every time I’m with him. I felt guilty, so I didn’t hesitate to visit him at the hospital.

It was still a mystery to me as to why I dreamt of him last night. I woke up feeling very lonely and depressed though it was just a dream. I dreamt of Kyuhyun lying on a hospital bed, his mother holding his right hand, crying so hard at the sight of his son. I was just standing there near the door of his hospital room just looking at the sad scene in front of me, doing absolutely nothing. I tried to move but my feet won’t harmonize with what I’m thinking. It was a terrible dream indeed.

During my stay here at the hospital, I took care of him, brought him fruits and foods to eat and talked to him whenever he feels bored. We also talked about the fight we had, and we already resolved that issue. I really had a good time with him though I’m staying at such a depressing and dreadful place.

“That bracelet. Yeah, I’m sorry,” he uttered as his face flinched at the way he spoke.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, too,” I replied as I positioned myself again on the stool I was propped on near his bed.

The crisp, white sheets sounded every time he moved as he was finding his way to sit on the end of his bed. “I just, I was just shocked. Mom said I’m the only one who has it, no wonder I punched you right then,” he remarked, smirking at the rude act he did.

“Hey, what’s with that smirk?! That punch hurt! I was too angry that I didn’t even do anything and just walked away! You’re fortunate that you didn’t even have to taste my fist, or else,” I exclaimed at him. Huh. Even you’re in bed, I won’t let myself lose to you.

“Turns out, my bracelet was at the usual place where I had always placed it. I was wrong. Really wrong.”

“Aish, why are you even worrying about that bracelet now? Just worry about yourself, okay?”

He just dug deep into my eyes, and I didn’t know what came into me that I didn’t even dare to look away. He reached out from the drawer beside his bed, and showed to me a bracelet – my bracelet.

“This is yours. I haven’t returned it back to you because I knew you’d still be angry at me for doing that. You should get back what’s yours.”

I reached for the bracelet hanging from his right hand. “Thank you,” I uttered with a weak smile, knowing I still don’t have the courage to be happy at a time like this. “I still don’t know though how we ended up having the same thing. Didn’t you say yours was custom-made?”

“Yeah, that’s what Mom said. I also don’t know. Maybe she’s just joking when she said that so I’ll always keep this away from harm,” Kyuhyun said while smirking.

“Pft, I don’t think your Mom would do that!”

“Duh, who knows?” He raised his eyebrow.

I slowly placed the little thing inside my bag, afraid that it might get scratched on the edges.

It was getting kinda late, so I just advised him to sleep. I remembered those past nights where he wanted to play video games with me up until late at night, but I’m already sleepy, and it’s not good for his health. I had to nag him just for him to obey me when I said he should already sleep.

But fortunately now, he did.

* * * * * * *

I also learned many things from Kyuhyun while just lying on that pitiful bed.

“Je ne zais qou means unexplainable or inexpressible, piscatory is relating to fish, du jour means of the day,” he said weakly but with full enthusiasm.

During my stay there, I also learned a secret that changed my whole life and also brought me to a new chapter to my life story. This guy I’m watching over here is my long lost brother – long lost bro.

I didn’t know that I have a brother. I had a sort of amnesia when I was just six years old when I had this accident with my parents and Kyuhyun. My father was avoiding a big truck on the road but our car fell from cliff. Very tragic indeed. We were all sent to hospital, and all of us were in a critical condition. My father didn’t survive, my mother and Kyuhyun fortuKyuely lived, but my head banged on the window of the car that it was really bloody, and it affected my memory. I had been separated from the three of them because I was still unconsciously lying on my bed, and the hospital where we were admitted at caught on fire. My father was already buried at that moment, and my Mom and Kyuhyun luckily got out from the building.  But Aunt Narcissa found me in my room, so she immediately took me away from my bed.  She wanted to give me back to my mother, but Auntie can’t contact her. Some of our relatives said that they went abroad to escape from the devastating event. I have learned all these from Kyuhyun’s mom – my mom and from Aunt Narcissa, when Auntie wanted to pay a visit to Kyuhyun and saw the three of us in the room. The truth was revealed to us by the two of them.

And yeah, about those family pictures I saw at Kyu’s house. It turned out I was the one holding the baby, and the baby turned out to be Kyu. The old photo was with our real father, and the recent one was our step-dad. Mindblown.

And of course, the bracelet. It was a metallic bracelet with sapphire gems which looked like they were carefully placed side-by-side, outlined and separated by small, sparkling diamonds. It was undoubtedly custom-made. For the two of us.

It’s great to know that the person whom you got close to and share many interests with is your brother. I love it. But knowing that he will die in any second when I’m already close to him was the worst happening of all. It . Really.

His leukemia got worse and worse as time passed by, you won’t even know when will be his last good day. I cherished every moment I had with him, keeping all these moments like one would treasure a rare and precious jewel.

* * * * * * *

 The wind was blowing hard, the clouds were somewhat gray and I was staring at this tomb saying, “Rest in Peace.”

It feels sad to see someone related to you have his tombstone stating the day when he was born and the day when he died. It hurts, actually, even if you’re a man. I haven’t seen him for a long time and now I saw him on his grave. Depressing. My eyes went wet and teary, but crying doesn’t mean that you’re weak. It’s because I have been strong for too long, holding back all my worries and fears just because I don’t have a complete family to get my strength from and to support me in all my endeavours.

“Oh my, you look like a baby crying there,” a guy from behind me said.

“Shut up, Kyuhyun. I’m having my emotional scene here. You destroyed the . Sheeeesh,” I said as I wiped my tears using the back of my hand.

We’re here at the grave of my father, Mr. Arthur Lopez. I was still a child when we last met but losing a father for me is like losing the other pair of your slippers. You can’t walk comfortably and you feel incomplete.

Kyuhyun’s alive! The happiness that I had when I knew that he could still live, reached at the top of the heavens. It’s hyperbole, but it’s true. I don’t know how that bastard even survived.

We’re here at the cemetery visiting the grave of Dad, along with Kyu, Mom and Kyu’s step dad – well, our step dad. He was the one whom I saw in the recently-taken family photo of theirs when I first visited their house. He’s fine. He’s understanding and kind, so I guess we’ll really get along well.

We just quietly stared at his tombstone when suddenly, a blue butterfly rested near it.

Wait.

Woah! It’s the butterfly I saw that night when I met Kyuhyun! I was shocked at what I saw that I had my eyes glued at the creature, not noticing that my mouth was somewhat open.

“Anything wrong?” Kyu asked curiously.

“Oh, nothing. I’m just happy that we’re together now,” I smiled.

Andante, I have come to realize the je ne zais qou and unexplainable worth of that papillon – it was the one who brought me to the park to meet Kyu, and up until now that I have come to know the truth, it was still here with us.

Papillon, thank you.