(Chen)

It’s my birthday!! I feel extremely energetic today and I don’t know why. Maybe because I am turning a year older? But who would be happy when they get older?

BZZT!! BZZT!! BZZT!!

I looked at my phone to see a message…

From: Honeybee ^^

Hey birthday boy!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! You’re so old!! Ewwwwww!! Hahahaha! Kidding!! So..what do you want for your birthday? :)

>///////< I DON’T KNOW WHY BUT I FEEL SO GAY AND GADDAMIT MOON HANI!!!!

To: Honeybee ^^

Just come to my birthday okay? It’s at 7

I replied and couldn’t help the smile creeping up my face.

“what’s with the face you freak?” Junmyeon hyung suddenly said and walked over to me.

“ahhhh I see… so what’s the news on the new feelings?” he teased and I threw him my shoe. Only he dodged and it hit my dad instead… OOPS

“KIM JONGDAE!!! Is this how you greet your father?? A night after he has returned from the barren wastelands of Rome??” he suddenly broke out into a Shakespeare lunatic and I rolled my eyes. Not until mom came with her bag in hand.

“Honey!! We have to go! I haven’t bought a present yet for our dear boy!” she said

Why are they speaking like they’re in some sort of ancient movie or something!?!? What is wrong with this family??

“Junmyeon dear, you’ll accompany him for the day right?” mom asked hyung and he nodded.

“okay chaps! We’ll be seeing you at nightfall!” dad said and flipped his imaginary cape…. Why dad… whyyyyyyyyyyyyy

The front door closed and I heaved a sigh.

“now why the long face young lad?” Junmyeon hyung teased and I threw him my other shoe. Shakespeare get out of their bodies for the love of….

“ow! You little clown!!” he said and I froze… clown… that’s what Hani called me…

“oops. Did I hit a nerve?” he teased again and I rolled my eyes.

“so I have a friend, and I invited him to your party.” He said and I gave a nod.

“it would seem like you don’t care much about your birthday.” He turned serious and I looked at him

“you seem to only care about who will come to the party. Or perhaps… THE ONLY ONE you want to come to the party.” He said

“you know hyung, I would’ve understood you better if you’d stop speaking like some sort of old elf.” I grinned and he tossed me back my shoe.

“I meant, you only care about seeing Hani now am I right or am I right?” he wagged his eyebrows and I froze

“HAHAHAHAHA!! Your face says it all!! Aigoo Kim Jongdae… why don’t you just tell Hani how you feel?” he asked and I was silent.

I can’t hyung… she loves someone else now… all I can do is watch by the side.

Did it hurt like this? When Hani knew I loved Yura, when she watched by the side to see me be happy with someone else, did it hurt like this as well?

How was she able to bear this? I can’t bear this kind of pain… how can she?

“earth to Kim Jongdae!!” Junmyeon hyung yelled next to my ear and I jumped, making me fall off my chair.

“OW! .“ I mumbled and for nth time today… I was hit with a shoe.

“WATCH YOUR MOUTH.” Hyung scolded and I pouted. He curses all the time, why isn’t he scolded??

“now, care to tell me why you were far away again?” he asked and I sighed.

--

“WHAT!?!” Junmyeon hyung yelled as soon as I finished my biography… or more like.. my and Hani’s story.

“YOU MEAN TO TELL ME HANI LIKED OH WAIT SCRATCH THAT-----SHE LOVED YOU!!?!?! ALL THE WHILE YOU WERE WITH YURA!?!?! AND YOU DIDN’T NOTICE IT!?!? HOW GULLIBLE ARE YOU!?!” he yelled and I sighed.

“I know hyung… I know… I was so stupid.” I said

“yes you are.” He didn’t double take in saying it so I gave him a glare. But he’s right. I mean… I was so stupid. And gullible… and an .

“GOD!! Why are you so dumb? If that was me I would have noticed it.” he said and then sat back at the sofa

“well you can’t blame me hyung! I was too blind with my love for Yura!” I said

“was it really love Jongdae? Or was it infatuation?” he asked and I stopped.

Infatuation? But that can’t be right? I was in love with Yura and I know it.

“I love her hyung.” I said

“but you love Hani more don’t you?” he asked and BOOM.

It was like a blade to my flesh.

“I hit another nerve didn’t I?”  Junmyeon asked and that was the last of our conversation.

--

Night time came. 6:45 to be exact. Guests; mostly my friends and my relatives are coming. I kept checking my phone, waiting for a certain text.

“you look restless.” A deep familiar voice said. I turned around to face Kai.

Ah, the man who has made me realize a lot of things. who made me see how late I was.

“he’s not here with me.” Kai said and took a seat. I gave him a look… who’s not here?

“Kyungsoo. You’re looking for him. You think that if you find him… you’ll find her.” Kai said. Again, he has hit my bone.

“I don’t want to encourage you Jongdae.” Kai said and ordered a drink. We look like we’re at a bar. Well, Hard Rock Café is like a bar café so I guess that’s alright.

“but I don’t want to dampen your spirit either since it’s your birthday.” He said and I just waited for the next sentences to come out of his mouth.

“like I have said before. You are too late. Hani is Kyungsoo’s princess now.” He said and I lowered my head. You don’t have to remind me.

“but…” Kai stopped and I gave him a look. But what?

“I guess Hani still has a few feelings for you, feelings that she cannot let go of. I have told her once or twice, back when we were in Japan to let got of you but I guess the saying is true.” He continued. What saying?

“FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES.” He finished and I was frozen in my spot. Does this mean Hani still loves me? even just a little bit?

“yes, she still has feelings for you. I know. She has told me. she’s said things to me, things she can’t say to anyone. Not even to Kyungsoo.” Kai looked me dead in the eye and I was… I admit.. a bit afraid.

“but I don’t want her to encourage these feelings anymore. She’ll get hurt. I know. I’ve seen her cry and weep because of you. Clearly, I am not on your side. Nor am I on Kyungsoo’s… even if he is my friend.” he continued

“s-so.. which side are you on?” I asked

“on Hani’s.” he replied with a smile. I’ve never seen Kai smile so gently, so real. Every time he smiles he always looked like he was teasing you or something…

“do you love her?” I asked and then the strangest thing happened. Kai laughed. He laughed… loudly. Like a mad man… what did I say??

“HAHAHA!! That’s a classic. But I won’t lie to you. Yes, I do love her…. But as a friend. the love for her as a lover is long gone. I know she’s happier with Kyungsoo. And maybe… just maybe even with you.” He said

“Hani is a nice girl. I’ve never seen anyone so good. Maybe I have added a few bad points to her back in Japan but you can’t blame me. she needed a little fun and excitement in her life and I saw in her eyes back then that she had none. And what’s fun without a little bad?“ he grinned and I had to agree with him for a bit.

“but anyway, I know you love Hani. I can see it your eyes. But I could also see that you are in doubt. You love your girlfriend but you love your best friend as well.” He said. Yes, this is the reality of my feelings. I am way beyond confused.

“until you have finalized your decision. I will not give Hani to you.” Kai suddenly said, his voice was firm and serious.

“I can see your eyes. I can see Kyungsoo’s eyes. Kyungsoo’s eyes----even if they are that big--- they are filled with love for Hani. and for Hani only. Unlike you, who has two…” he continued

“I only want Hani to be happy. Because she’s been hurt so much.“ Kai finished and I was about to give him an answer. To tell him that I do love Hani. to tell him that I won’t hurt her again. Tell him that I will do my best to make her happy. Not to make her cry again.

“HEY JONGDAE!!!” Junmyeon hyung suddenly broke me out of my thoughts.

“this is my friend Yixing. He’s a teacher as well.” Hyung smiled and introduced me to his friend. Yixing? Is he Chinese? I guess he is…

“oh. Nice to meet you.” I said and shook his hand

“nice to meet you too. I hope you don’t mind with me at your party.” He smiled; showing his dimples. Yep, he’s Chinese alright. I can sense the accent.

“not at all. It would be fun to have more people around.” I smiled… speaking of people… is Hani here yet?

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*shrugs*