Till this moment, was the longest chapter i have ever write.

“Yunnie...”

Yunho can feel his own body stiffened as his brain was registering the familiar mellifluous voice of a certain soothing presence coming from behind him. A pair of alabaster skinned arms suddenly appears from behind and gently encircling itself on his solid body. Yunho briefly close his eyes for a minute, letting his body reacted naturally to the all too familiar presence engulfing him from behind. He didn’t need to see with his own eyes to know who was the one standing behind him, for every senses attached on his body were already recognized it all to well. The familiar feeling of the soft fragrant breath and the tickles sent by the tips of soft almond locks brushing against his nape was more than enough for him to know who was the person responsible for the reaction ignited on his body. Yunho braved himself to turn around to find his wife beautiful face smiling at him.

“Jae...” Yunho whispered under his breath. “You... remembered me?” He ask hesitantly as he still couldn’t believe of what was happening.

Jaejoong widen his smile and slowly nodded his head.

Yunho widen his eyes, not sure of what he was feeling at the moment. Happy, for sure, and relief. But there was also worry, and fear occupying his chest. He gulped and will himself to take some cautious step towards his wife, only to find Jaejoong took several steps back to get away from him, Jaejoong face now was hung low and Yunho couldn’t clearly see his face, and it made Yunho a bit nervous.

“Jae...”

“You think i will forget it forever, don’t you?” Jaejoong cut Yunho words as he raise his head, Yunho now can clearly see how the expressive doe eyes were staring back at him. A sudden feeling of discomfort crawling on his skin as he saw the only emotion he see reflected on those eyes, A pure resentment. “You thought that it would be easy by hiding everything from me right? All the things you have done to me, you think that it would be nice if i forget it all for good, right?” Jaejoong smile mockingly to Yunho.

Yunho can’t get his eyes off Jaejoong judging eyes. He was compeletely stunned by the venom on each of Jaejoong words.

Jaejoong graciously walks towards Yunho. He place one of his hand on his husband tense shoulder and bring his face inch closer towards Yunho’s “Too bad Yunnie-yah, i remembered it all.” Jaejoong whispered right in front of Yunho ear, emphasizing on each word, sending shiver down Yunho spine.

“No, Jae... please, i...” Yunho try to think of any reasonable answer Jaejoong might want to hear. He can do this. He had imagined various situation of how Jaejoong might react once he gain his memory back, he had thoroughly expected various kind of scenario and had carefully thought of what to do had any of them happened beforehand. But now that the worst kind of scenario was unfolding right in before him, he found himself incapable of doing anything. How can he even remember what to do when he couldn’t even do such simple task as diverting his gaze from Jaejoong gravitating ones. Yunho try his best to move his heavy hand to reach out for his wife hand.

“Don’t you dare touch me!” Jaejoong quickly slapped Yunho hand off him. Like he might be burned by Yunho slightest touch. ­­He shook his hand and takes several steps backward distancing himself from Yunho. “It’s already over between Us, Yunho. I don’t love you anymore.” He hissed his last sentence as he turned around and leave.

“Wait! Jae, Please...!” Yunho forced his heavy step to run towards his wife departing figure. He feel how his heart shattering bits by bits with every step he took. It feels like if he can’t stop Jaejoong from leaving now, they will be over for real, and he refused to let that happened. Just when it was only several step away He could see Jaejoong finally turned around and stare back at him, meeting Yunho gaze.

Jaejoong black orbs was as dark as starless midnight, it reflects no sign of emotion of the beholder. His lips however, was clearly depicting a derisive smile containing the word he wanted to convey to the one chasing after him. a farewell. Yunho could feel his whole body turned cold just by the view.

“Goodbye Yunho...” Jaejoong whispered his last words before his figure slowly fading and dissapear into the thin air, leaving the devastated Yunho alone hugging the cold air.

“wait... JAEJOONG!” Yunho shout as he was finally managed to open his eyes. He still vividly feel the suffocating tension occupying his chest as he try to take several deep breathes, he had no idea why he felt like he had just emerged from a surface of water. looking down to the shirt he was wearing, he found it was totally drenched in sweat despite the fully air conditioned room. He hastily take a look around, learning the detail of the room surrounding him. Once his eyes capture a familiar figure safely tucked under the blanket and sleeping soundly on the bed in front of him, he finally manage to calm his rampant heartbeat. Feeling a gush of relief, Yunho allow his body slid back down to the chair he was sitting on.

Closing his eyes, Yunho piches the bridge of his nose with his still shaking hand.

It was a dream... Yunho heaved a deep sigh. He have been having this same dream for 2 days straight whenever he try to get some sleep. Probably because of what the doctor had told them yesterday.

-flashback-

“We’ve took another CT image to see if the previous crash was causing any structural damage on Mrs. Jung brain. But we found nothing wrong with his brain...” The neurologist Jaejoong was assigned to pulled some image from a big brown envelope and show it to Yunho and Junsu who were sitting accross the table listening intently to whatever the doctor is trying to tell them. “There is a slight swelling on this part, but it was not big enough to cause any increase of pressure inside his head which may lead to several episodes of fainting. We’ve run several other test and found nothing wrong.”

Yunho bit his lips. Still doubting the doctor explanation. “Are you sure you had checked everything necessary?” Yunho try to voice out his concern. “I mean, if there is nothing wrong with my wife, then why did he keep fainting? This is not the first time he lost his consciousness like this. And everytime it happened, it always looks like he was in a great pain...” He explained, his wary eyes staring right through the doctor eyes, demanding further explanation. “The last time this happened, it didn’t take much time for him to regain his consciousness back. But this time, its already 2 day, and he didn’t show any sign of waking up...” Yunho added, his voice was fully coverted in worries.

“Actually...” The doctor open up another big envelope and handed them a piece of paper he pulled from it. The paper show several lines and spikes like the one he often see beeping on monitor screen on a medical drama. “We suspect that these episodes of fainting happened to your wife might be a form of some kind of seizure, so we run this additional test to see if there is anything wrong with his brain electrical activity. See these spikes here?” The doctor points out several rows of spikes printed on the paper. “This shows that there is indeed an excessive electrical activity going on inside his brain. This excessive activity took place in Mrs. Jung frontal and temporal lobes, thats basically where the memory was stored in our brain...” The doctor tried to elaborate their findings in the easiest way possible.

“And what’s that exactly mean?” Yunho ask once again feeling a bit irritated. These difficult explanation given to him only confuses him more.

“It means his brain is trying its hardest to regain its memory back. Hard enough to the point it cause so much stress in sufficient amount to make him faint.” The doctor give his final conclusion.

Yunho finally shut his mouth completely.

"on the bright side, we may conclude that the possibility for your wife regaining back his memory is getting bigger, and it may be sooner than what we previously expected. And because we don’t find anything that may be threathening Mrs. Jung life, we can safely assure you that your wife condition won’t get any worse.” Seeing Yunho didn’t have anything more to say, the doctor decide to continue “we will keep monitoring your wife closely and see if there is any development in his condition. Given the situation right now, we can assure you he might regaining his consciousness soon.”

-end of flashback-

And from that moment, Yunho was left restless. He tried to stay beside Jaejoong as long as can. Even when he was on shooting location or having a meeting with the production team, he made sure to always check up on his wife condition through Junsu or Yoochun. He made it clear for the two that they should immediately contact him if by any chance Jaejoong open his eyes, even though he don’t know what will happen then. What if Jaejoong indeed have already gained his memory back? Will he stay by his side? Yunho chuckled lowly his sorrowful eyes remain its gaze on Jaejoong peaceful sleeping face in front of him, wondering what kind of reaction will it reflects once Jaejoong regain their memory back. Probably not, He probably wouldn’t even give any second thought and just leave me without sparing me any second look.

“still can’t sleep, hyung?” Junsu rubs his sleepy eyes as he was fighting back a yawn. He glance at his watch and sigh. Its still 3 am, “try to get some sleep hyung, you have a meeting this morning right?” He said while shifting his position and try to find the most comfortable position a hospital couch could provide him. Yunho nods curtly, answering without looking back at junsu. After taking the last glance of his brother in law, Junsu decide to go back to sleep.

Yunho finally feeling fatigue start to catch up on him. Raising his hand, Yunho take a hold of Jaejoong palm and softly brushed it against his own skin. He close his eyes, appreciating how soft felt against his rough skin. A faint scent of vanilla that was uniquely jaejoongs slowly invading his sense as he was taking a slow whiff, and it successfully lulled him to sleep.

Jaejoong didn’t know where he is right now. The place was dark, and awfully hollow. Its so dark that he almost couldn’t see whats around him, just like how it feels inside his chest. He didn’t know how much time already passed since he was standing here silently watching far ahead to the familiar figures crying in front of him. But he didn’t care.

He could clearly see a figure of boy crying in another boy embrace. It was Junsu, His dear little brother Junsu. But not the bubblegum blue haired one. It was the teen Junsu with his boyish brown locks he was familiar with. Junsu was crouching, crying his heart out in front of small table where his parents photo and a lit insences were standing on it. It didn’t took him long to finally recognize the the one who was tightly hugging Junsu and trying to calm him down was no other than himself. He still had that long raven hair he used to love so much. They were both wearing a black suit and Jaejoong finally realized that they were in a middle of a funeral ceremony... that was held for their parents. Jaejoong silently watch the scene unfold before him without feeling anything. His chest already gone too numb for any other emotion to fit in.

“it was too sudden”

“They were planning for a vacation. Who would’ve thought that the plane they are boarding with would crashed down?”

“yeah... it was such a pity, the older brother haven’t even finish his college yet, and the younger one was preparing for an entrance exam. Who would support them from now on?...”

Feeling that he has no power to listen to the unknown voices anymore, Jaejoong shift his step and get away from the heart shattering scene played in front of him. Even if he don’t know where he should go, but anywhere was better than here.

It wasn’t long before another flash of scene was played yet again in front of him. it was another two figure hugging each other, on what may seem like a hospital bed. This time, he can identify himself as the one who were crying helplessly on the bed. A man with a larger frame was holding his fragile frame so tight but the image was too blur for him to identify the man face. Jaejoong could faintly feel that it was someone he knows really well but couldn’t point out who it was. He try to run approaching them to see who was the man hugging him, feeling that the person was someone important in his present life. But he was stopped by yet another unknown voice.

The voice was so loud, Jaejoong had to close his ear tightly to prevent it from hurting his eardrum. It was the voice of two people arguing. They were screaming at each other, it was loud, too loud that it hurts his head real bad, But Jaejoong couldn’t even get a thing of what the person was arguing about. Jaejoong look around to find if the voice was coming from something around him. But he found nothing. The voice come from his own head, and he had no idea how to stop it. The voice only gets louder and the pain he felt get worse. The pain was so excruciating that a tear manage to escape from his closed eyes. He can’t stay in this place, He get it. But how the hell can he get out of this place? He don’t even know what kind of place is this. But he can see his ownself, so this is probably just some kind of dream. But why did it felt so much hurt? Aren’t you supposed to feel numb on a dream? The more he listen to the voice, the more intense the pain he felt on his head, his legs finally giving up and Jaejoong had to crouched down in pain.

“Stop... please stop...” Jaejoong begs to no one in particular. “Please...” He whimpers.

Both the voice and the pain he felt in his head get more and more harsh. Jaejoong was rendered helpless. He wanted to get away from that place, as far as possible. But he can’t even bring himself to get up. It felt like someone was torturing him mercilessly to the point he is incapable of doing anything aside curling himself and whimpers in pain.

Just when Jaejoong thought he can’t take it anymore, a large hand appear out of nowhere and taking a hold of his own hand. The sudden warmth emanating from that hand sipping through his whole body and just like that, easily erasing all the pain he felt just a second ago. Jaejoong finally able to open his eyes. It was a man hand, the calloused rough skin felt against his own skin told him so. He slowly shift his stare from the sturdy arms up to the board shoulder. The man have his back facing him. Jaejoong couldn’t ignore the feeling of familiarity of the man solid back. He must know this man really well but couldn’t point out who it was. And it frustates him.

The man turn his face around and Jaejoong felt his heart stop beating as his doe eyes was met with those warm chocolate orbs. Jaejoong almost retract his hand from the man’s hold out of shock only to find the grip he felt on his hand gets tighter, the man was refusing to let him go. Finally, the man turn back and pull Jaejoong up to stand on his own legs. Hand in hand, Jaejoong finally allow the man lead him to get out of this place.

With a tear trailing down his porcelain skin, Jaejoong finally manage to wake up from his long dream.

“its yours.”

Yunho confusedly stare at the white envelope Heechul just gave him.

“Invitation for KBC drama Awards, they nominate you as one of the best actor and you’re one strong candidate. Its scheduled tomorrow evening. Make sure you bring Joongie with you, It would be strange if he didn’t show up when you’re winning an award...” Heechul finally explain.

Yunho sigh. “i don’t think He can... We just submit him to the hospital a few days ago...”

“Again?! Whats wrong? How come you just tell me now?” Heechul ask, clearly shocked by the news he just learned.

“I don’t know for sure. But he had this tendencies of fainting. Im worried it was something caused by the car crash. But the doctor didn’t find anything wrong...” Yunho was stopped midway by the sound of his ringtone. It didn’t take a second for him to answer it like he was already waiting for that phone call all day long. “Y-Yea.. Junsu?” Yunho stuttered nervously, Yunho turn around, trying to hide his jittery hands, but he couldn’t escape Heechul keen eyes.

“Yes? O..ooh o-okay, the meeting had already been wrapped up anyway. I’ll be there soon. Please watch over him for the time being... okay...”

Heechul carefully listen and watch over Yunho reaction. Something really seem off. Why did Yunho stuttering?

“Oh and Junsu... D-did He remember anything?” Heechul ears perks up as Yunho voice gone an octave lower, like he was asking something confidential. “O...oh...” Yunho trailed as he was hearing junsu answers accross the line. Heechul could see how Yunho loosen up his stiffened shoulder and sighing a breath of relief with little smile plastered on his small handsome face. Oh, Maybe he just heard some good news,did Joongie finally remembers everything? He thought.

“How’s Joongie?” Heechul ask as soon as he saw Yunho was done talking to Junsu. “did Joongie finally remember?” He asked with a little bit excitement expecting to hear some good news.

“Junsu said that Joongie finally open his eyes...” Yunho inform him as he was putting his phone back on his jacket.

“thats good...” Heechul nods happily and wait for another good news. Heechul stay silent for awhile waiting for Yunho to tell him more“...and?” he prompt when Yunho didn’t said anything else.

“And what? Thats all.”

“Ha?” Heechul couldn’t help but to feel confused. “Didn’t Junsu just tell you that Joongie finally remember... anything?” He ask carefully. He was sure by Yunho previous reaction, it was something really good, like Jaejoong finally remembered something.

“no.” Yunho answered as the matter of truth with what Heechul defines as an annoying straight face. “Anyway, Chullie-ah, I have to go back, can you please tell the others i have something urgent to look up to? Thanks.” Yunho lightly taps Heechul shoulder and run to his car.

“Ah wait!” Heechul tried to stop him but Yunho was already too far to hear him.

If Joongie didn’t remember anything back, then why do you look so happy? Heechul couldn’t help but wonder as he was watching Yunho car leaving the venue.

Heechul gasp when he finally realized something he didn’t want to. “Dont tell me he don’t want Joongie to gain his memory back?” He mumbles to no one in particular.

“Junsu!”

Junsu was just getting out of Jaejoong room when he heard someone was calling for him. “Oh Yunho hyung...”

“How’s him?” Yunho ask straightly ask as he is stopping in front of his brother in law. Somehow Junsu thoughtful looks making him a bit wary.

“The doctor just finished doing another check up on Jae hyung a while ago... They said that it would be safe to discharged Jae-hyung now. ” Junsu said as he was showing Yunho some papers. “I was just about to settle the bill... Yoochun is inside keeping his eyes on Jae-hyung”

Yunho nodded and proceed to approach the door behind Junsu. But, before he open it, he decided to stop Junsu once again.

“Junsu... is there something you didn’t tell me?” Yunho finally voice out his concern making Junsu once again turn to face him.

Junsu keep still for a brief moment and straighly stare at his brother in law. After a while he looked like he was pondering about something, he finally open his mouth. “I don’t know hyung... Jae-hyung seems a lot calmer than how i thought he would be. It probably should be a good thing. But, i couldn’t ignore this feeling that he remembered something but just decide to hide it from me....” Junsu muttered the last sentence “maybe you will understand what i mean once you talk to him...” Junsu added. He turns around and continue his step to the administration office.

“Oh hyung!” Yoochun voice was the first one greet him when he opened the door to Jaejoong ward. “I Just checked my phone and found out Haraboji had been calling me since this morning, I have to make a phone call for a minute. Good thing you come just in the right time!” Yoochun said hurriedly as soon as he saw Yunho entering the room, he rushed out of the room so quick that Yunho couldn’t even said anything to stop him. Yunho nervously turn around, now it was only him and Jaejoong left in this room.

The room once again fall into a complete silence. Yunho couldn’t found the courage needed to approach the man sitting on the bed on the far end of that room. It feels like his legs was wedged down to the floor that he can’t do anything beside standing there in front of the door staring at the beautiful man whose attention was accupied by something outside the window.

Yunho didn’t know how to break the undeniable awkward tension. He didn’t even know whether Jaejoong was aware of his presence right now since he didn’t even spare him any look and keep his stare on the outside through the hospital. Jaejoong fold his hands and rest it on top of his knees, he let the blanket lingering below his anle, he rest his head on top of his folded had, hugging himself. Yunho could barely see his face from the spot he was standing on but The soft blowing wind from outside Jaejoong almond locks gently completed by afternoon sunlight gleaming upon his skin making Jaejoong looked even more surreal. Yunho decide to just keep quiet and let his eyes appreciating the serene view.

“You know...” the gentle voice finally making its way on the silent room, Alerting Yunho from his brief daydream. He prepared himself for what Jaejoong had for him.

“its not like you all have