Breaking off another chunk of cake with his fingers, Lu Han stares at his cousin's sleeping form, all curled up in the sleeping bag they bought. He can't get Yixing's words from last night out of his head. His family is known to take pride in their business being an all Chinese business so his father's interest in expanding outside the mainland is odd…but to say it's because his father's looking for him… How would he know Lu Han's not in America? How would he know which countries to pretend to be interested in under the guise of a search? And if Yixing's kept on such a tight leash to keep him from running away too, what the hell is he doing coming to the place where Lu Han's hiding? And with such a ty excuse?

"Why does everything sound so ing stupid it might actually be true?" the sweet cream cheese icing off his fingers, he blindly tears off another mouthful. "Only because that dumb would be stupid enough to come here," he grumbles under his breath before shoving the dessert in his mouth.

He’s done a decent job of keeping himself out of his father’s radar for the past six years and the thought of all of that possibly coming to an end sooner or later sets him on edge. He can only imagine the punishment he’ll face from his parents for running away. Being forced to take over the company wouldn’t even be the worst of it — he’d be lucky if they ever let him leave the house on his own ever again. It’d be like his days in high school all over again when he barely had time to himself outside of his supplementary lessons and was only able to spend the free time he did have with Yixing.

His cousin whines in his sleep and rolls over onto his stomach but doesn’t wake. Lu Han would laugh at him if he wasn’t currently battling his annoyance with the red velvet cake Minseok gifted him a couple weeks ago that he’s barely eaten. It works well enough; the more of the moist red cake he eats, the less he feels like he’s going to cross the short distance from the kitchenette to his ‘bedroom’ and strangle Yixing in his sleep.

With a sigh, Lu Han breaks off his last chunk of cake for the morning and takes his time savoring it as he replaces the dessert in the back of the refrigerator. As he shuts the fridge door with his foot, fingers caked in icing on his tongue, he’s surprised by his phone vibrating with the arrival of a text atop the counter. Slipping his fingers out of his mouth and wiping his saliva on his pants, he picks up his phone with his clean hand. The text message is from Zhou Mi, a simple statement that he can come back to work in three days at his usual shift hours. Lu Han was expecting a notice more than three days in advance but he supposes that Zhou Mi probably thinks he’s been doing nothing but moping around — partly true — and it’s better than being told the day before or the night of. He sends back an okay and, as expected, receives a reply about how Zhou Mi hopes his attitude is a little better than before.

Lu Han can’t wait to disappoint him.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

He doesn’t mean to slam his mug down after he swallows his last little bit of water, but the stoneware still clangs against the counter top. Fresh out of the refrigerator, the water is much too cold and spreads a chill down his throat and into his chest but he doesn’t acknowledge the discomfort. Minseok taps the handle of the mug with his forefinger, thinking about nothing in particular as he stands there staring into space. His brain hasn’t finished loading in just yet, having just awoken ten minutes ago at a quarter after nine. He woke up earlier than he usually does; Jongdae would be surprised. He always nags about Minseok’s awful sleeping schedule but that’s what happens when one doesn’t have an average nine to five job and schedule to keep to. Minseok does sort of miss having a stable job and all the niceties of it — a reliable income, not having to deal with the idiocy that comes from having a fan-base full of teenagers — but he’s not ready to search for decent employment again. Not after what happened with his first job.

Setting the mug in the sink to be washed later, he exits the kitchen and trails back to his room. Stretching his arms behind his back, Minseok sighs as his shoulders pop. It’s Tuesday and he vaguely remembers reading a text from Lu Han Sunday about how he would be dropping by.

Grabbing a thin grey and white striped sweater and a pair of faded blue jeans, Minseok heads to the bathroom for a quick shower. For a second he forgets that he's not nearly comfortable enough around Lu Han to forgo underwear and he has to run back to his room to get a pair of briefs before he locks himself in his bathroom. The water heats up quick and it's a pleasant contrast to the slight chill that had settled over him earlier. His mind wanders while he goes through the motions of washing.

He's honestly surprised Lu Han is still willing to hang around him. Sometimes he wonders if Lu Han actually considers their relationship a friendship or if he's just humoring him. Because they don't know each other very well despite spending a couple days together these past few weeks, Minseok can't help but be a little on edge around him and he can't imagine how awkward it must be to have to walk on eggshells around him all the time. Or actually he can imagine it because it happened all the time in high school and in his undergrad. Eventually it gets to the point where no one wants to bother with him anymore. If it weren't for the fact that Baekhyun is stupidly persistent and tries to make friends with anyone and everyone, they probably wouldn't even be such decent friends. It's only a matter of time before Lu Han gets tired of him and leaves like the rest of them, right?

Sighing at the lonely turn his thoughts took, Minseok decides to get out and focus his energy on something else. After shutting the water off, he steps out of the tub basin, towels off, and slips into his clothes. Wandering out of the bathroom, Minseok makes a stop by his room to drop his pajamas in the basket he keeps his dirty laundry in and to find a pair of socks to slip onto his feet. He notices his phone poking out from beneath his pillow and he grabs it before exiting his room.

He trails down the hall to the living room and stops in front of his couch. Tapping his nails, just barely longer than the tip of his fingers, against the hard casing surrounding his cell, he bites at his lip. He never noticed how boring his life was until things started to disrupt the routine mundaneness of it. He’s not in the mood for games (plus, Chanyeol’s probably not awake yet and if Sehun is awake, he’s probably getting ready for class), television doesn’t sound all that great either, and Jongdae’s at work (but he doesn’t want to see Jongdae anyway).

He sighs and stops his dancing fingers. “Maybe I should…” He glances at the front door only to look away just as quickly. What is he so afraid of? He goes out alone all the time. If it wasn’t for stupid Baekhyun and his stupid worrying, he wouldn’t even be having these second thoughts. In a moment of clarity, he realizes what he’s been feeling lately is wrong— he isn’t regressing. He can’t regress if he never showed any progress in getting better in the first place. He had plenty of anxiety attacks during college, just not when Baekhyun was around. A couple of months ago he quit his job because of his disorder. The feeling that he’s having more trouble controlling his anxiety is all in his head.

Frowning, Minseok tightens his grip around his phone. Deciding to go ahead and take a walk, he stomps over to his computer desk and snatches his keys with his free hand. His wallet is sitting there too and he squeezes his phone into one of his back pockets before shoving his wallet into the other. He may as well buy something while he has the chance. A new cupcake shop opened up close to the little eatery where he meets Jongdae for lunch sometimes, or so he’s heard from Jongdae. Maybe he’ll pick up something for Lu Han. After many mornings spent munching on donuts, he’d be oblivious if he didn’t notice Lu Han’s love for sweets. It’s sort of cute, actually. And he wants to repay Lu Han for all the money he’s spent on him these past weeks buying him breakfast and taking him out for miniature golf that one time.

At the door, he slips on his shoes and unconsciously rechecks to make sure he has everything he needs. He locks the door behind him and fits his keys into his pocket with his wallet.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Jongdae was telling the truth. There is a new cupcake shop with a black awning that has Cupcakes and Creme written across it in big, white bubble letters. Thankfully it’s open and when Minseok pulls open the door, a bell chimes.

A cheery woman greets him from behind the long counter doubling as a display for the selection of cupcakes. He smiles back her politely before immediately trying to tune out her existence as he walks up to the display. What is he supposed to get? Roving his eyes over the collection of simple and gourmet cupcakes, he slips his bottom lip between his teeth. Perhaps he should ask Lu Han what his favorite flavor of cake is. But calling would defeat the purpose of the surprise, wouldn’t it? Even though he’s sure Lu Han would be too dense to connect the dots.

Pouting softly, he sighs through his nose. This wasn’t nearly as hard when he bought him the red velvet cake after that incident at the mall but then again back then he wasn’t thinking so much about what he would and wouldn’t like.

“Can I help you pick something out? Are you buying for anything or anyone special?”

Glancing up, he allows the woman’s words to register before he shakes his head, a light pink staining the tips of his ears. “Ah, no, I,” he stops for a second to breathe, “I’m trying to buy a gift for a…friend.” There he goes again, wondering if they actually are friends.

“For a friend, eh,” she wonders, sounding partly disbelieving as if she took Minseok’s hesitation the wrong way. The skeptical tone sparks a wave of embarrassment in Minseok and sweat builds in his palms but it’s nothing too bad.

“If you’re looking for something sweet, I’d go with the Strawberry Cheesecake but if not, Salted Caramel.”

Nodding, he looks back at the display. Lu Han likes strawberries. Does he like caramel? What if he would like caramel better? What if he wouldn’t like either? He never did say if he liked the cake or not. Minseok almost groans in aggravation but he remembers that he’s in public.

“I’ll take three of both,” he decides. That way Lu Han can try both.

The employee nods and flutters around behind the counter, plucking out the appropriate cakes and decorating them before she packages them in a pretty box with the shops name on it in the same bubble letters. Minseok doesn’t like the way she smiles at him when he hands over his cash but he ignores it. It would be dumb of him to get caught up in fretting over what she may or may not be thinking of him and work himself in a panic.

She gives him the standard ‘come again’ line when she hands him his change. Once again, she smiles politely at her and takes the plastic bag holding the boxed cupcakes. The chime of the door when he pushes it open again is the sound of freedom and he inhales deep outside the cupcakery.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Minseok's phone rings just as he steps off the elevator. Moving the bag of cakes to his left hand, he yanks the device from his pocket and flips it over to see the caller ID. Creasing his brow, confused, he picks up the call as he walks in the direction of his apartment. As he brings the phone to his ear, he looks up and blinks when he spots someone standing outside his door. Without a word, he ends the call and he smiles at the way the taller man down the hall rips his own phone away from his ear.

"What the hell? Did he just answer and then ing hang up on me?"

"Han," Minseok calls as he approaches.

The Chinese man looks at him, any surprise he may be feeling masked behind his usual slow-burning rage. The anger quickly simmers, the crease of his brow lightening and his frown softening out. Minseok gently pushes him from in front of the door with a soft hand on his upper arm. He has to change the cupcakes to his opposite hand again in order to dig around for his keys and as he's trying to fit the metal into the lock, he hears Lu Han clear his throat.

"I thought you were asleep," he says low under his breath.

Looking back over his shoulder as he pushes open the door, he offers Lu Han a small smile. "Sorry, I thought I'd be back before you came. You're a little early." He kicks off his shoes and quickly shuffles into the kitchen to allow Lu Han the room to do the same. By the sound of foot falls he can tell the other followed him in and as he places the bag on the counter he looks over his shoulder to Lu Han peeking at his phone.

Lu Han hums like he's surprised at the time before he pockets the mobile. Eyebrows raising in curiosity, he approaches Minseok. Pinching the bag, he slides it over to himself. "What's this?"

Rolling his eyes, Minseok slaps his hand away and pushes the bag to the opposite end of the counter. "Not trying to fatten me up with Starbucks today?" He attempts to divert the other's attention.

“Ow, damn.” With his hand cradled against his chest, Lu Han stares at Minseok like he grew two heads. "I just wanted to know what you went out to ing buy so damn early in the morning."

The sudden mood swing makes Minseok's heart skip a beat in acute fear and his stomach turn uneasily for a second before he calms. He can deal with the constant frown that dampens Lu Han's handsome face but sometimes when he raises his voice Minseok can’t help but react. "Are you okay?" he asks, voice wavering slightly. He doesn’t think he’s hasn’t heard Lu Han curse so much since they first met and he says as much.

By the way the knit between his brow softens, Lu Han seems to acknowledge his brief temper. He rubs his bare arm, awkward. "Sorry, I have some things on my mind and I guess it's stressing me out."

Minseok nods slowly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really, no,” Lu Han answers quickly and Minseok takes the hint to drop the subject.

Minseok glances at the bag from the cupcakery and wonders if he should present his gift now. Or never. He’s sort of leaning towards never. It would be really easy to just say ‘hey, I bought you some cupcakes ‘cause you always buy me breakfast’ but for some reason actually doing it is embarrassing. As if he’s giving Valentine’s chocolate to a crush or something. The thought makes him turn red.

“A-Ah, I’m going to make some tea. Do you want any?” he asks, nibbling on his lip as he wills his embarrassment away.

Lu Han stares at him for longer than what can be considered appropriate, eyes wide and unblinking. “I thought I ing told you I was allergic to cute,” he mutters under his breath in Chinese.

“Excuse me?”

Lu Han seems to snap out of his trance and soon a blush starts to spread across his face as well. “Uh, tea, sure, great, thanks.”

After turning the kettle on, Minseok ushers Lu Han out of the kitchen and into the living room. While Lu Han takes a seat on the couch, Minseok stands behind it and reaches over the back for the remote. He searches for a channel to settle on but in the end drops the remote into Lu Han’s lap and lets his guest choose. As Lu Han scrolls through the channels himself, Minseok places his hands on his shoulders and immediately notices how tense he is.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He worries, rubbing his thumbs in circles to ease the strain in the bartender’s muscles.

“I—”

“You really need to loosen up.” Minseok tightens the grip of his hands in a haphazard massage. He doesn’t have much experience in doing this for someone.

“That’s easier said than done,” Lu Han responds, choosing not to point out that Minseok’s part of the problem.

“Were you always this stressed?”

“By ‘stressed’ do you mean ‘angry’?” Lu Han angles his head back against the top the couch and smiles wickedly at Minseok.

Even though that is what he meant, Minseok shakes his head in denial. Hearing his intentions coming out of the other’s mouth, he feels rude for wanting to ask in the first place.

Lu Han doesn’t mind— patrons who wandered into the club and weren’t used to his personality asked all the time but he never bothered to answer. “No, I was a pretty happy kid growing up,” he starts, closing his eyes as he reminisces back through his adolescence. “Selfless, always doing things for someone before myself. I suppose I always had a little bit of a temper but I never let it get the best of me.”

“What happened?” Minseok asks, still weakly working at the kinks in Lu Han’s shoulders.

Lu Han snorts. “Life. I was under a lot of pressure and I snapped.” He shrugs.

The kettle begins to whistle and Minseok excuses himself to the kitchen to turn off the stove and prepare the jasmine tea. As he steeps the tea, he wonders what could have pressured Lu Han so much that he could have changed so drastically. “I guess everyone has their demons,” he mutters to himself as he extracts two mugs from the cabinet overhead and fills them with tea.

Returning to the living room, he offers one of the mugs to Lu Han who takes it with a smile and sits on the couch beside him.

“So what about you?”

Minseok looks up from inspecting the tea leaves in his mug to blink at Lu Han. “What about me?”

“When was the onset of your anxiety?” Lu Han clarifies as he sets his mug on the floor beside his foot, the stoneware too hot for him to hold comfortably in his hands.

“Ah,” Minseok curls his legs up on the couch and sets the mug in between his thighs, praying it doesn’t spill. “Sometime in junior high. I used to be really shy so I was picked on by my classmates for being too quiet and my teachers would scold me for not participating in class or not speaking loud enough when I did decide to participate. I guess my shyness snowballed into actual fear.”

“Did you ever go to therapy? Your anxiety shouldn’t be that hard to combat with proper treatment.”

Minseok smiles uncomfortably at his tea and nods. “I went about five times and then I stopped. Going would always make me upset and it felt like it was doing more harm than good. Every once in a while my therapist calls to check in and I’m prescribed anti-depressants but I don’t take them often enough for them to actually help.”

Lu Han’s brows pull together in concern. “Why the hell don’t you take them?”

Minseok can only shrug. He’s not very good with remembering to take them. If he doesn’t leave the house except to go shopping or when he works up the nerve to go to a gaming convention or if he’s with Jongdae, he doesn’t see the point. It’s not very smart of him but he’s tricked Jongdae into thinking he takes them as prescribed and there’s no one to force him to take them.

“I used to take them properly when I worked a desk job,” he says as if that means anything now. Picking up his tea, he blows at the liquid before taking a tentative sip.

“You had a real job?” Lu Han asks, surprise in his voice as if he thought Minseok did nothing but play videos games and sit on his all day ever since he graduated college.

“I was a software designer for some small company but I quit after about a year.”

Lu Han retrieves his own tea. He looks at Minseok over the mug, the desire for an explanation clear in his gaze.

“We had a departmental MT outing and my coworkers thought it’d be a good idea to play a prank on me since I was the youngest. By that point, the stress of having to pretend like I wasn’t dealing with severe anxiety was getting to me and the embarrassment following their little joke was the last straw and I quit,” he explains without going into details he’d rather not relive.

Lu Han nods because he doesn’t know what to say and he can tell Minseok doesn’t want him to say anything on the matter anyway. “I can go back to work by the end of the week,” he changes the subject.

“Oh, really? Are you excited to go back?”

“If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m broke as and need to work, I’d rather come here than go back to that cesspool of es,” Lu Han sighs to himself before his mind catches up with his words and he flushes.

“I’m going to assume that was a yes.”

Minseok looks really cute when he’s confused, like he sort of pouts a little bit and angles his head to the side and pain shoots through Lu Han’s chest like a bullet.

“Yeah, I said, uh, ‘I can’t wait. So damn excited you can’t even believe it’.”

Minseok smiles and it’s like a stab to his gut. “That’s good.” Minseok looks like there’s something else he wants to say and Lu Han finishes off his tea while he waits for the other man to continue speaking. “I, well, I bought you something as a thank you for putting up with me but I guess it can double as a congrats on going back to work gift.”

Lu Han barely has time to think about what he just said before Minseok jumps off the couch and scurries into the kitchen. Lu Han stares at the spot where he was just sitting. He wonders if he’ll ever stop experiencing these weird heart symptoms around the older man.

When Minseok returns, his face more pink than it was when he left, he shoves a square, black and white box at him. He opens it and is surprised to see six gourmet cupcakes of two varieties.

“I don’t know what kind of things you like that well but I could tell you like sweet foods so I got you those. And I didn’t know what kind of cupcake you’d like so I let the lady at the store choose for me but I hope you like them anyway,” Minseok rambles.

Lu Han feels his heart rate oddly pick up. Why are you so happy, he scolds himself.

("What's up with you and the cute Korean boy?" Yixing asks.

“I can tell you like the guy.”

Lu Han scowls. "I just ing said we're not like that."

"See? You're already reacting badly to your first crush.")

Lu Han looks up from the open box of cupcakes and at Minseok’s shy smile and pink cheeks and after nearly a month of torture, his heart finally bursts.

Well .

He likes Minseok.