Myung Soo was horrified.

 He wasn’t in just bed, a hospital bed to be precise; he was also forced to get into a hospital rob, was forced to lie down, he then was attached to wires.

Wires plastered all over him with a perfect camouflage, all under it he was hyperventilating; and then there they were two doctors and two nurses making him shiver the slightest, the fear, he wasn’t so sure. All they wanted him to do was sleep.

Sleep. That what he would rather do all day

He had been bonded to the bed by approximately twenty of them, wires, channels whatever attached to all over him; face, neck, chest, abdomen, and legs; uncomfortable and shrilly daunting, he considered the wisdom of pretentious dead, but then again he’d still be attached to the wired mess. He had been there for three hours; he wanted a sleep, a fresh; unbounded sleep.

The purpose of the complete process was observing his sleeping patterns. Leader Gyu, being the leader himself had given them good enough of information on how much of a ty sleeper he was, giving a hard time to whomever who accompanied him, how he adored to go sleep on absolutely every single spot he found attractive, how he was attracted to sleeping spots like magnet; his constant drowsiness and then lack of concentration. Last came the suicidal attempt; the funny part.

To diagnose his sickness, he was to go through a Polysomnography test, whatever that meant. All that he knew about the process was that no single detail of it appealed him.

Although his eyes were forcing him to sleep.

And then he was told of the importance of the whole process to diagnose the type of sleeping disorder he had, although he had the greatest impulse to scream out his lungs to explain to them that it was not him who was darn crazy but their leader; the wires had drained his strength and soul though; let alone his self-esteem.

Si instead of all this. He thought of the nicer stuff; he thought of butterflies dancing around a fresh, gorgeous cluster of spring blossoms; he thought of the scent, and the undeniably familiar shade of pink. He was reminded of something pink, and nice; he thought of the flushed shade of her cheeks. Then rushed into his mind the confession of her from the other day. I don’t see things…I see only him. Her sole schizophrenia was him, while his entire undiagnosed mental disorder was her. How ironic. Weren’t they just meant to be? Then his mind ran back to the random spectacles. All that was subjected to the explanation of Bae Suji. Cherry blossoms, velvet iced cupcakes, rosy ribbons, unicorns, rainbows, butterflies, Beethoven’s number four piano sonata, pink tutu skirts, whimpering cats and finally cotton candy…

…noona, there’s a girl…she’s like cotton candy…

Myung Soo had drifted into sleep.

 

 

In the hazy twilight where the last summer rays of the day rippled raving the southern sky, Myung Soo walked down a decent garden lawn, up the stone path where a petit abode stood in its silent solitary. Myung Soo had no idea why he was brought here, an entirely different lieu from all that he had wandered into in her dreams; her dreams, well, they were always peculiar, and half of them made absolutely no sense. But this once, something was different, something had changed.

Something wasn’t just right. 

He was attracted to the sight of the little but welcoming feeling of the little house; perfectly trimmed grass, pots placed in a line; surrounded by a tall coffee shaded wooden barricade, petunias grown along the porch curb, flowers withered under the sunset, on a side was a laundry line with several abandoned items swaying gently along the breeze; an impeccable house hold, despite being not very wealthy it truly possessed a familial feeling, the feeling of the presence of a peaceful family.

And through an opened window, his restless eyes caught the most wonderful phenomena that he could possibly have ever laid his eyes on.

Bae Suji.

And this was her house.

The relentless feeling of erroneous returned to his heart, bustling and ravaging through his soul like a wild fire, circulating inside him, telling him over and over again in a hushed whisper;

‘Stop the defeat’

He couldn’t understand, his mind was too young to grasp the truth. Stop the defeat? How could he? Being unaware of what exactly the defeat meant?

And his heart couldn’t stop racing. Bae Suji was right in his visible distance, and all he wanted to do was barge into her house like a valiant intruder, gather her into his heart and run away to wherever his fate would lead him to. His love for her was beyond belief but something horrified him.

Still, and unnerving.

He had never felt something this so demoralizing in his life.

And the very persistent feeling had forced a run into the house; which he did.

Myung Soo barged into the house-hold without giving any more thought-why should he? This was a dream-to fit his likeness and stood right in the middle of the petit hallway, eyes darting around as though he were memorizing each and every spot and corner of the abode. Explained by the exterior, it was a rather small house, with less furniture and more space to easily move around; less privacy and more open as though the occupants had nothing much to conceal. To his right was a door less entrance to what seemed like the living room. An old sofa set was kept in the middle, before it on a cranky stand an old tube television, to the right was an entire rack of paper-backs, neatly and tidily placed. Further into his left was the entrance to the kitchen, separated from the hallway solely by a pastel yellow curtain which danced slowly in the twilight. The lights were all down, drowning the entire house in inky darkness; as it explained, there was nobody in the house, nobody, except Bae Suji.

The eerie feeling returned to his heart, burning his soul in an unknown fear which he couldn’t quite grasp. What was it? The message the uncanny dark house was trying to give him?

And then he heard footsteps.

Shocked by the sudden din, Myung Soo, in hurried steps, ran into the living room, pressing himself against the wall and peeked out to witness what was on the toll. His intuition had told him the arrival of Bae Suji, which was a correct assumption; he held his breath watching her climb down the staircase in quick footsteps, head lowered, and slowly like a silent fish she slithered in through the curtain and vanished into the kitchen, a few seconds of meddling with utensils, evidently, she emerged wearing a weary face, features hidden behind the two dark curtains of her hair; in her hand was a scissor. The kind that Myung Soo had seen his mother using to cut beef strips and bacon.

A shrill ran down his spine.

What on earth could she possibly be doing with such an instrument?

His instincts were sharp and unblemished, inferring it to him that this one girl, held something eerie deployed up her sleeve, he couldn’t grasp it clearly though, but deep down he knew, this was most probably the defeat that his intuition had implied.

Defeat? What was she defeating to? And why?

Myung Soo crept up the stairs, following her feather-light footsteps with equally light movements of his own and stood back, pressed onto a wall in the steeping darkness, his eyes tracing her path all until she disappeared into the wall; a door creaked open with a comfortable creak, it didn’t shut though, yet the darkness remained.

He heard wood being dragged on the floor, footsteps, creaking of a mattress on a bed, running water in a sink, and ever so heart-breakingly a sob. Deep, strong implication although his youthful mind still couldn’t grasp it, only one term ravaged in his hollow mind.

Defeat.

Myung Soo hurried off to where she had vanished in the darkness from his sight, silently and slyly, with no hope to gain her attention and there, he creeped in through an opened door.

He gasped; fear raging inside him so ferociously, burning every cell inside him by the sight before his eyes. His whole world twirled around, a vicious typhoon overtaking him in mixed feeling of rage, fear and unawareness; what was he? If he couldn’t grasp this one fearful fact of the girl he loved ever so unconditionally?

Bae Suji had raised her white flag in defeat and had allowed her despair to win over her life.

Myung Soo couldn’t stand back and wait any longer, although this was what’s running in her mind, this would ultimately be her final decision and her greatest mistake. Myung Soo couldn’t dare to lose her. In a span of several days, after having fallen hard at first sight, she had become the melody to his song, the wind to his spring, the scent of his blossoms, the beating of his heart, the meaning of his life…

He would be her prince in shining armor, who’d haul her off her heels and carry her far away into a wonderland, and shower her with his perpetual love, hold her to his heart and ease all her pains until her heart and soul finally falls into belief that her fairytale had finally come true…that her prince of charms had finally taken hold of her heart…

“Suji…”

He hurried towards her, the delicate figure of her standing on a stiff mahogany chair, with a ripped bed sheet wrapped around the subtle outline of her graceful neck, eyes closed tight, breathing uneven and tears streaming down her pastel pink cheeks; he wrapped his hands around her, where he caught of her was an inappropriate touch but he loved her and he wouldn’t care less.

He had his hands tightened around the feminine curve of her hips, where he could reach from where he stood and cried for boredom.

He begged her to stop. He begged her to not to defeat he begged her to spare her dear life.

Because god had given her a life with purpose, she wasn’t to put a brutal end to it, and he loved her.

He looked up to see nothing but darkness, her eyes glistened with tears, her beauty curtained by the soft dark mane of her hair, slightest sobs escaped the impeccable pair of her lips; the ripped bed sheet, it remained intact around her neck.

He had to repeat it to himself for the umpteenth time that this was only running in her mind.

He finally found his voice.

“Suji, take it off! Take it off, Suji I’m begging you…”

She shook her head, a series of sobs escaped, tears rolled down, her undying features disheveled behind a mask of utter pain, even as a train of thoughts, he couldn’t bare it at all. His heart pained too much.

Too much, knowing that there was an appalling chance of this heartbreaking sight to actually transpire in her life, for real; what he had wandered into now was something that very rarely happened; This was no dream, no nightmare, nor a day dream but a train of thoughts, her plot of plans, her imagination running in an insane disposition of mind; she was wide awake, he could feel it, and in her sane, but then again insane mind, he tried to change what conclusion he had come into.

Was it even possible? Did it even make any sense? Of all the things, would she listen to his flagrant cries? Believe the fact that he was, truthfully the prince of her fairytale who’d ultimately take her away from what could have been deliberate pain in her life?

Myung Soo was in doubt.

But he wouldn’t care.

He tightened his hands on her even more.

“Suji, if I could freaking reach you up there I would take the damn thing off of you, just listen to me! Take the damn thing off you and get down!!”

The sob grew louder, he could feel her trembling in his arms, the tremors passed into him inconsistently, tugging painfully onto his heart as though to imply it to him that she wouldn’t believe his words, no matter if he cried his heart and soul out with the severe pain burning him inside, entirely…

“Suji please! Take it off okay? I won’t let you go, I’ll hold you, right here, as long as I would have to…I don’t care, so just take that damn thing off you and come to me-!”

“Shut up!”

Her voice, the voice which had sung to him the god’s hymn for countless times, the voice which driveled the most wonderful subtle words, the voice which filled his restless heart with joy the moment she confessed the fleeting love she had for him was now just a shrill, unappealing cry echoing throughout the hollow interior, breaking his heart into thousand million particles, leaving him no possible way to gather the fragments and reform what he had lost…

“Shut up, you bastard! Shut up and get away from my freaking sight!”

“Suji…” His voice was only a light whisper disappearing into the disconsolate ambiance.

“Go away and stop, stop! Playing with my heart! You’re nothing but a…”

He pressed both his lips into a straight line and watched her as the pair of tear brimmed eyes looked right above at the darkened roof above where they stood, and finally back into his eyes.

And she began to cry. Her cry, just as much as her smooth words and laughter had filled his heart with love, now turned it into sharp void by the unbearable pain pounding so hard onto his tarnished mind. He felt so hopeless before her eyes, for her very words held such an eloquent truth to it. He loved her, yet he hadn’t still hadn’t reached out to her to know her heart but held back his own with so many possibilities, showering her dreams with an untainted, selfish love.

She didn’t know him, she didn’t know of his existence, but still, for how hard he had tamed her youthful heart, she loved him, and he loved her beyond belief.

But still, they were, and they weren’t.

Their love was too good to be true, unknown by both parties, drowning in their dreams, in the most probable impasse to be diminished, tainted and lost; unless, he’d man up and show himself to her, right off, and tell her with his very voice that he loved her, that this was their fairytale coming true…

He had to save her now.

“Suji just stop crying and undo the stupid thing like a good girl and let me explain-!”

“Shut up already! I told you! You’re nothing but a stupid vision walking in my mind, ruining me, breaking me, you spoiled my whole life-!”

“I did not!” He found his voice to scream. “Suji, I never did! I wanted to protect you Suji, I wanted you to be what you wanted to be, to show you who you really were, and if I failed, I’m sorry but please! Take it off right now, get down and let me explain”

“No…”She shook her head once more, trembling harder and harder as the seconds ticked by. “I won’t listen to your bickering anymore…you’re not real…you’re just fake, a fraud crap running in my mind…you’re nothing you bastard, you’re all in my head, and I’m running insane!! Get out of me!!”

He couldn’t bear the pain she was giving him just then shredding his young heart into severe shreds, but he held on. This was only a train of thoughts, a train of her tainted vicious thoughts…he held on…

“I can’t…” He finally said and loosened his hands around her, finally dropping them to his sides. “I can’t get out of you…because I can’t get you out of me, Bae Suji…I can’t get you out of my mind…I’ve been wandering into your dreams, trying to get a littlest ounce of you to kill the lonely hunger for love in my heart, to bring myself the joy of loving you ever since I saw you there that day; where I began to…let my heart cling on to yours…searching for a spot to nestle itself in yours…but evidently I have failed…I have failed to make you return all that I felt about you…”

He dropped onto his knees. “I’m sorry, Bae Suji…I was such a selfish fool, who thought, not once about how my doing could affect you, but I loved you insanely, walked into your dreams, listened to your heart, painted what you dreamed and ruined, without knowing it…what could have been…love”

He looked up, without knowing, the form of his dreams had dampened in tears himself; he couldn’t care anymore.

“I’m sorry…” he said again. “I’m sorry that I loved you. I’m sorry, but I still do. I love you”

When miracles happen right before his very eyes, when the fleeting, indescribable joy filled the hollow pitch inside him with rainbows and flowers and all that could have been wonderful; Myung Soo would think of fate. Fate; he never believed thoroughly of its existence, he was afraid to be attached to its morality but when the clothed knot slowly untangled by her beautiful slender fingers trembling around her neck, if his confession, if his sincere untainted words had moved her heart in a swift movement of time, he believed it; this was the wisdom of their fate, their destiny…

This was the wisdom of a dream that the two young lovers with their hearts entangled were destined to dream together as far as it would take them in their lives…

Myung Soo remained still kneeling down on the marble floor, his eyes tracing every movement she made as Bae Suji, ever so slowly, as slowly as a delicate angel returning from her heaven’s journey, untangled the tainted piece of cloth on her neck and squatted down on the chair; her eyes watching him, both glistening in tears, underneath held her severely untouched pain; being a dream himself, the pain that he could never let his intuition to grasp on. Watching her now, solely with his stark eyes he promised to her, he’d tell her the truth, and love her unconditionally until her pain subside…

She raised her hand, trembling slowly and the slightest, and reached out to the man, the defeated man on the ground on his knees and he closed his eyes.

He raised his hand in response.

When the two hands touched, fingers entangling, he knew that, with all his heart, he had won her, he had won over her, that he had won over whatever the atrocious force which manipulated her to lead herself into a vicious defeat of life. He held her hand so tightly and lovingly, as much as dearly he held her heart in his; he then opened his eyes, she smiled.

“Mighty prince…who-who are you….”

He then pulled her into his arms, into his embrace. He pulled her dreams into his heart.

“Your mighty prince in shining armor…Bae Suji, who came to you…to love you”

 

 

 

Watching nothing but the flickering light reflecting on the mirror before them forming a spectrum of colors in their eyes, Bae Suji and Kim Myung Soo sat on the pink cover of her bed, hand in hand, allowing the silence engulf them. The eerie disposition which dominated both their hearts had now drifted away, refilling them with some other…in the real realm, they both were deep in sleep, but here where they both dreamed together, they sat in silence, hearts clung together with love.

He had now told her the truth…and she was trying to believe.

“So…you tell me…” She finally said, breaking the silence between them. “That you’re not a vision…but real…a person…”

Myung Soo’s heart felt at ease, feeling a burden lifted off his back. He was happier now, more into his unconditional love. He was still smiling like a jerk as he squeezed her hand.

“Yes…I am. Just like you, Jia, the guy in the food cart and that stupid leader Gyu, I’m all flesh and bones…I’m real…”

Suji shot him a quizzical look. “Leader what? Are you from a gang?”

Myung Soo chuckled at her remark. “No! I’m from a boy group…like I said. He’s the leader who put me through all the mess…I don’t care though…I finally got to speak my heart out to you…”

“And you want me to believe all this?” She inquired, her reflection shining like Lune in summer sky.

Myung Soo nodded. “Yes…I want you too…because I, the real me, would come to you soon, I promise…and will make your dream come true…

She had told him that, by now; the real decision why she had attempted suicide; her dream to be an idol here in the very ground she stood, was tarnished by the selfless desires of her parents to make her follow what she disliked. Her mind was spoilt, completely ruined; being incompetent to bear all the pressure and pain, also not being able to bear the fact of having to be flown off to Netherlands to follow their dream as a classical musician, Suji couldn’t bear it all. The only option she saw was running away. A vicious defeat.

“Will you…mighty prince…? Then come sooner, I hate to wait”

He nodded in return. “I will…I want to…I hate to break promises that I keep…”

Suji smiled, making his heart flutter in pleasure. He was still unbelieving it that he had finally confessed, and also that this was now in her dream (He realized, when his instincts beckoned to him) that they were sitting on their love; everything felt so surreal, after days of trying times, how his infatuation of loving her had come down to this where they both belonged to one another, bonded by love.

“But…” She began, her head lowered, and Myung Soo reached out, slowly tucking a strand of fallen hair behind her ear. This being a dream, he felt so much comfortable around her. “Mighty prince…there’s a part of the promise…that you can’t keep…”

Myung Soo eyed her with a smile. “What part is that?”

“The part where you promised to make my dream come true…Mighty prince…not everybody can have their dreams coming true-,”

“But everybody can chase after their dream Bae Suji…”

Suji immediately raised her head, her features clouded with the most unreadable expression that he had ever laid his eyes on.

“How…can I? Everyone will stop me, would try everything in the world to stop me from-,”

“So you fight” Myung Soo stated out, taking her hand in his. “You chase after your dream, and you fight for it, Suji, we’ve all come this far through a battle, and if there’s one achievement that we want to accomplish, fight for it, it hurts but when you succeed, the pain is just worth the try”

Suji eyes him with uncertainty. “How can you be so sure? I’ve fought this so far but nothing came out right”

He smiled at the stark blankness, recalling his past. It wasn’t an easy path that he had to travel to become what he had always wanted to be. His parents, similar to most probably all the parents with children of his age, had their own dream of seeing their oldest son in an honored position, engaged in a white-collar job, earning money and pride and to be an honor to the world; Kim Myung Soo had his own brilliance, despite being silent and cold, he was smart, a very bright elite and a smart young bachelor ranking the top scores in his studies, his parents had no doubt; he knew how they so thoroughly believed that this child, one day, would be a pride to the family. He was afraid to break their hearts, yet he chased after his dreams; and at the age of seventeen, he was acknowledged for his steadfast battle to achieve his dreams, his parents were elated of their oldest child’s capabilities; no one could ever guess what this child truly concealed behind his anti-social, ice-cold persona, and seeing him now, stepping towards success through the path of his dreams, he had put everyone in doubt of their conclusions. Kim Myung Soo was no ordinary child. He was extraordinary. He was a dreamer, who had his dreams coming true.

“Because I’ve been in an endless battle too, Bae Suji. I still fight, it’s a hard one, but dreams, for me are bound to come true” He finally replied. Looking straight into the reflection of the pair in the mirror before them.

“But it’s too hard” Was her response, blending lightly into the stagnant ambiance engulfing them. “Maybe I’m not strong enough…Maybe I’ve tried too hard too long…it was so tiring and I…” She trailed away, which Myung Soo finished off with his own addition of an airy reply. “Decided to end it here”

She didn’t utter a word, yet nodded in reply.

Myung Soo turned around, feeling comfortable in her presence than ever before and placed a had on her bonny shoulder. She felt soothing, broken and light, reminding him of a little fairy; he shook away the cutely inappropriate thought and took a deep breath.

“Listen, Suji…nothing solves it if you run away from the troubles you have…we all have problems, and whether we’re strong or not; it depends on how we face  them. Take it as a blessing, whatever troubles you. Take it as the push to lead you to chase your dreams…”

Suji said no word but sat still as though she was pondering what he had told her. Myung Soo, as of what we’ve known, was never a person with words. He couldn’t believe it himself, where leader Gyu had spoiled him, giving him hard times and then hearty talks to sooth him when he cowered and sulked; Myung Soo had, by hook or by crook, adapted it, at the slightest even, Kim Sung Gyu’s eccentric behavior. And for his utter surprise; it wasn’t a bad thing at all.

Finally, Suji made a slightest nod, and smiled. “I’ll try…but still…one against so many…it’s hard…”

Myung Soo scooted closer to her and squeezed her hand. “Who said you fight this battle all alone?”

He loved it, oh, he just adored it just how her brilliant dark eyes shined with pleasure whenever she smiled with an untainted happiness. He couldn’t help but feel as though he’d won a world (or a controversy on Sung Yeol’s Kimchi stew or Bulgogi dilemma), and the urge to take her hand and twirl around would strike generally from time to time. He liked it just the same.

“Mighty prince…are you…offering to help me?”

Myung Soo nodded and squeezed her hand. “I will. Being in the position that I am in now, it won’t be the most possible; but if it’s for you, Bae Suji, whatever the trouble, it’s worth the try”

Suji’s smile; he’d simply call it the most exceptionally beautiful phenomena ever. Its beauty was beyond comparison, even comparing it to a cluster of cherry blossoms blooming in the morning dew would be just as useless; they would never give the tingly feelings that she would give to his heart.

“So you really are my mighty prince in shining armor then…”

He nodded and took both her hands in his. “I am…and I always wanted to be. Dreams, they are beautiful, Bae Suji…trust me, I’ve seen, touched, and felt hundreds of them, but what makes it even more wonderful is being able to dream one dream together…as one. So yes. Let’s chase after your dream together, and let’s live our dream together, as one…are you with me?”

“Yes” Was Suji’s heartening reply. “Yes, my mighty prince…let’s dream…let’s dream together as one…”

 

 

Sitting on their love, for hours; Myung Soo couldn’t even feel just how long that had passed by. He and she spoke their hearts out about thousand million things as though they had so many to say within such a little time, their hearts entangled together, drenched with untarnished love, shared this one little moment as though it was the most precious gap of time they had ever received. Perpetually, together, Bae Suji and Kim Myung Soo dreamed their one dream together…

…soon came his moment to depart.

Darn, the silly doctors must have already jerked the stupid plasters off himself; and from somewhere far away he could hear voices, panicked, frightened, and in his mind, pathetic, voices calling out his name.

This was his wake up call.

Slowly yet so unwillingly, Myung Soo pulled his hand away from her grasp. “Suji…I must go now…we’re still dreaming, and this is my time to wake up”

“Oh…” She muttered, disappointment hidden underneath her effervescent tone. “I see…early riser?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “No…not really…I’m on some sort of a test, to tell you the truth, Suji. They think I’m crazy, like I said. I’m being observed of my sleeping patterns…”

She laughed lightly at his honesty. “Crazy? Observing sleeping patterns?”

He shrugged. “Life is not easy, Bae Suji…”

“Yes, yes…I do believe so…being you must be even harder mighty prince”

He nodded, and finally stood up. “But really, Suji. I must go, that’s my wake up call…”

Suji nodded and she too climbed up to her feet. “Whatever that is, I don’t get any, but if we’re still dreaming, I must wake up too…”

Myung Soo nodded with a smile. “So, then…is this goodbye for tonight?”

She smiled. “I guess…yes…I’d have loved sit with you longer, but we can’t…”

Noting the monotone in her voice, Myung Soo took a step closer and took her hand. “Bae Suji…”

“Hmm…?”

He narrowed his eyes, and begged for one last promise before the dream ended. “Bae Suji…would you promise me?”

“Promise you…what?”

He took a deep breath and squeezed her hand. “Promise me…that you would wait for me, that you wait until I come and find you. Don’t ever try anything stupid again, don’t try to run away…do you here me? Wait until I find you, and we’ll chase after your dream, together…can you promise me that, Bae Suji?”

A moment of silence, a flicker of hope; and ever so slowly, Suji tinniest slender finger curled itself around his. She smiled, shining brighter than the summer rays in morning dew. “I promse I will wait…but you too, mighty prince…promise me…Promise me that you’d come and find me soon”

“Me, the real, human me?” Myung Soo inquired, playfully fidgeting with her fingers, completely tuning out the calling voices in his head. Suji chuckled and slowly nodded. He smiled in return. “If you really believe my words, I will. Even if you don’t, I still would…I will find you, Bae Suji, and when I do, don’t be too surprised”

“Why would I be?”

“Because it will be a dream coming true…”

A slightest smile playing on her rosy lips, Suji moved closer and laid her head against his chest. A blissful chill ran down his spine, filling him completely with perpetual affection, and he too, ever so slowly, ran both his hands around her, pulling her into his embrace, her dream into his heart at the same time.

“Mighty prince…” Her voce was a slightest whisper floating in the gleeful ambiance between them. “You are the best dream that I had ever dreamed in my life…and if anyone’s crazy, that would be me…does it even make any sense? I fell in love with my dream…”

Myung Soo reached back and slowly caressed the thick dark mane of her hair. “You too, are the best dream that I had ever wandered into…and if I’m crazy, I don’t care. I’d still be crazy because I too fell in love with my dream…and it makes perfect sense to me”

“You make me fall harder and harder…I’m in love with you, mighty prince…” She moved a little further, and with flushed cheeks, shining dark eyes and trembling rosy lips, right there, standing in his arms in this never ending dream; she confessed to him, in a slightest serenade of a whisper; “I love you”

Myung Soo could swear, that it was only then that he realized what love was truly was.

Love, love for him, was to be able to dream one reverie, together as one.

He stepped back, his heart beating so restless and hard as though he had returned after running a mile, and lowered his eyes bearing into hers. He smiled. “I love you too” And thus, did he reach down, ignoring the wild beating of his heart and gently brushed his lips against hers; a soft, gentle, feather light touch; and he’d thought he would die. He quickly moved away only to witness the most enchanting sight that he had ever laid his eyes on; an embarrassed Bae Suji. With trembling fingers, he touched her cheek and smiled. “Sorry if I surprised you…but after we meet one day, you’d have to expect it…a lot”

He just loved the way she turned so red, so red as much as a velvet cupcake, he just loved it.

But the calling in his mind grew louder; he had to go all before leader Gyu would get himself a heart failure.

He stepped away, with an unwilling heart with hopes to meet her again, and the next, he was certain, would be for real.

“Good bye…Bae Suji…We’ll meet again…”

Suji raised her tiny hand in air and gave him a gleeful goodbye.

“Goodbye, Mighty prince-,” She widened her eyes in surprise. “Wait! You never told me your name!”

Stopping in his tracks, he turned around and gave her a smile. “Myung Soo…my name is Kim Myung Soo…”

She smiled in return. “Kim Myung Soo…”

And her smile, blurring, in his vision, was all he could see before ha himself vanished and returned through his own path of dreams to the distasteful realm of reality.

 

 

 

As it had happened, Myung Soo had lied dead to the world for good six hours, tossing and turning in bed, talking and crying even and the hardest part of it had been the point where they had to force him to wake up. Leader Gyu was fuming while cowering in a corner like a boiling kettle while Sung Yeol sat somewhere in a waiting chair, flipping through a magazine looking as bleak as ever. Myung Soo was, in fact, expecting the worse; somewhere along the line where leader Gyu would actually come up and bash him on his face with a chair or so, the outcome was jolly well alright, well, only except for the part where leader Gyu and their manager hyung were finally called inside to inform of Myung Soo’s Polysomnography test’s results. He was happy beyond belief that he wasn’t called inside, he had no desire to hear whatever they had to say; gracious, he was not crazy! Why couldn’t anyone understand? And the sole personnel who had even a least bit of understanding offered him a gleeful smile, not once showing his obvious exhaustion and sat the latter beside him. Regardless to the fact that leader Gyu was fuming for apparent matters, Myung Soo was happy; he had finally confessed, and also there was one person on earth to guard his side.

“So…” Began Sung Yeol, keeping the magazine he was flipping through, aside. “How did it go?”

Myung Soo thought of Suji, and the sweetest words that she driveled moments before he woke up, and smiled. He didn’t care how gullible it might seem, Myung Soo just wanted to express just how content he were.

“It was…alright…”

Sung Yeol raised his brows. “Alright. Just alright…then why do you look so…red? Did you by any chance walk into some…you know… dream?”

Myung Soo widened his eyes. “What? No! Nothing of the sort!”

“Then?” Sung Yeol pushed on, a faint smile playing on his lips. “Why do you look like a strawberry?”

Myung Soo took a deep breath. He just couldn’t resolve whether there was anything to hide. No, there was nothing to hide. He closed his eyes, took a good breather and fluttered them open once more before he finally spoke his heart out.

“Suji…I met Suji…and I confessed”

Silence engulfed them for good few seconds afterwards. There weren’t many in the ward at this time of the day, not even any being would pass by as though the place was factually inhabited, only the lady in the help desk seemed the least bit alive, sitting and staring at the two of them with cheeks flushed and narrowed eyes; Myung Soo didn’t wonder what her problem was, whatever she had in mind was nothing of his concern. There was a water filter beside the help-desk booth, and the occasional sound of water inside the machinery was all they could hear before Sung Yeol finally spoke up.

“Myung Soo…that’s…wonderful. But, have you given any thoughts to what I said?”

Myung Soo distinctly turned to the other only to see his face all dead serious. “What…you said?”

Sung Yeol stared straight ahead as he spoke. “About…not being able to date, Myung Soo”

Myung Soo suddenly fell into utter silence, as though everything just collapsed in his mind. For the first time in his life, he hated it, where he stood in the path of his dream. True, what he had always wanted to be was a singer, he’d vowed himself to give his best to reach that one great attainment, to sacrifice anything and everything for just that, but now; he felt wronged. How could any man go on without female companionship in his life? Although he hadn’t gone through the kind of stress that leader Gyu was going through, he knew that one day, at one point of his idol life, he’d face the greatest barrier of a mental breakdown somewhere through it, and at that point, he’d need comfort, and that comfort, not any man, especially someone standing in his very shoes could give but a girl. Thus, why was love forbidden to the idols? He may be too young to comprehend wholly, but there where he still wasn’t a full-fledged idol, he had the right to love the girl of his desires.

Maybe, just maybe, if he’d take the risk of loving her; he might be allowed to love.

And he’d take that one chance any day.

He had a promise to keep. Not only to himself, but also for someone whom he cared for with his whole life.

“I’d…take the risk, Yeol.” He retorted at last, after in taking a deep breath. “There’s nothing wrong with taking chances right?”

After what it seemed like a space of time that he took to ponder on the situation, Sung Yeol nodded. “I guess…As long as you make the right decision…”

Myung Soo smiled in return. If his happiness would bring happiness to another, although it took loads of effort and risk, he wouldn’t mind. It was a win or lose game to bring a smile on her face. And he’d take the risk any day.

“I think I’m making the next best decision, Yeol. I made my first best, and see where I am? The visual of infinite. How further more can I go? And this would be just the same…”

Sung Yeol released a light chuckle and threw a hand around the younger member. “You’re very optimistic, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess…” Myung Soo returned with a smile, just as leader Gyu and their manager walked out of the room with bleak faces. He was to expect the worse, but then again, he wouldn’t care. At least, not at this very moment where he had his worries unloaded and heart filled with pure bliss. Leader Gyu better save his ranting for later.

He turned to Sung Yeol and gawked at him with gleaming eyes. “And I take it as a very good thing”

“Yes it is…” Sung Yeol replied with a smile. “It’s a very very good thing…you give us hope, Kim Myung Soo…”

 

 

The four of them drove back home in utter silence. By Sung Gyu’s gruesome façade, Myung Soo could almost guess the outcome of the test, and so was he certain that it wasn’t at all good. Leader Gyu was the very worst at maintaining a good poker face that all his emotions showed, the only problem being that he hardly ever had any emotions to show except for his stress or anger and a very very rare smile, which was also ridiculously genuine, and there he made it certain that in his mind he was rerunning the scenario of Myung Soo by the broken railing; he was probably reconsidering the point where he actually would throw the child down the building.

His face was simply murderous.

Sung Yeol on the other hand remained smiling his gullible smile, giving occasional glances at Myung Soo who was darn busy thinking of one person in particular; he was most probably in a literal proximity to death, but his affection towards Myung Soo was so genuine that he did not once dare to show how badly he wanted a rest.

After a half an hour long ride, the three reached home.

And for their utter surprise, the rest of infinite had actually cooked dinner, the entire house held the mouth-watering odour of frying meat and then weirdly enough, the eccentric affection.

“How did it go Hyung?” Dong Woo inquired the moment the three entered the kitchen to take a sneek peek on what’s on the stove.

“What’s cooking?” Leader Gyu asked, looking down at a pot of tofu stew on the hot stove, and finally diverted his attention to the younger while Myung Soo slyly creeped into a corner to eavesdrop. It was him who was causing chaos after all, and he was bound to know.

“Oh…the appointment? Well, it’s…better than I assumed. I’m less worried now…” He said, looking through the content of the fridge. “But the kid needs to be looked after, I think…he does have a mental illness, the reports quite said so”

Myung soo needed to literally, literally bash his face into the wall behind and die.

“He…does?” Dong Woo asked, looking at their leader with concern. It’s strange, how the eldest members of the group actually cared for the two youngsters as though they were their parents; witty even. Myung Soo factually got goose bumps whenever he heard those two discussing him or Sung Jong as though they were their off-springs. He shook the thought off his mind. And continued concentrating on the conversation.

“Nothing very serious…not depressive disorder, alright” Leader Gyu was saying with his tone lowered that the hiding one could hardly grasp it. “It’s something to do with his sleep”

Myung Soo stiffened at the piece of information, his respiration almost clogged.

“Sleep? Really?”

“Hmm…He’s so active in his sleep; like, he tosses around, talks, cries, screams…it’s so hard to watch him, it’s so sad to.” Sung Gyu explained gravely and walked towards Dong Woo who was stirring the pot boiling on the stove and continued. “It’s some sleeping disorder, he said. Where he actually thinks he’s conscious while in dreams. I don’t really understand those things. The good thing is, it’s easy to cure…”

And standing there behind the wall by the Kitchen’s entrance, he considered the wisdom of driving a burning car into a lake to commit suicide. The truth was, he was so active in his dreams, Dong Woo Hyung and Sung Yeol had complained to him enough about it, but being conscious in his dreams was not what he was only and only convinced of, he was conscious in his dreams, almost lively, as though he were another living being in another universe or a dimension; and considering where Suji had also seen him in her dreams even though she had never really seen him in person, and where she fell in love too, there was a ridiculously blatant truth to it. It wasn’t anything in his mind, most importantly, it was no any sort of crappy mental disorder for all he cared; it was something he got into himself, something eccentric yet equally glorious and inexplicable, and then, real.

And in addition, he knew for a certainty that there was absolutely no point of even trying to enlighten their leader. He was too much of a moral believer who’d never in the world believe if he said something so completely out of the world.

Dong Woo was laughing his heart’s content when Myung Soo finally diverted his concentration to the conversation. “I’ve been suffering that a lot Gyu Hyung. The kid sure is active…never even thought for it to be a disorder though…”

“I never did so too…” Leader Gyu said, sounding conserened. “But that day when he slept too long, I noticed…something strange. His eyes, well, they moved frantically but not his body, he stayed the same for hours and wouldn’t wake up…I asked the doctor, it’s infact a paralysis. A part o the disorder he has…”

“Oh…” Dong Woo replied. “So, what are we going to do now?”

“Treat him, of course. He’d be alright, eventually. I hope it’s before the debut though…”

Dong Woo reached over and patted on his arm. “He would be, Hyung…you worry too much too. We’d all be fine…”

The latter heaved a long sigh. “I hope so…by the way, why cooking?”

“I thought you three would be tired…”

“Oh! That’s thoughtful of you…”

Since the conversation was beginning to get less entertaining, he began to move away, just as Hoya passed by in a rush. Seeing him, he immediately stopped on his track, giving him a stern look. “Myung Soo? What are you doing there? Hiding?”

And it was a very bad move. A very very bad one.

Leader Gyu’s voice erupted like a mass explosion from wherever he were, Myung Soo could swear his hearing would be gone if he were to spend too long around this Hyung who found being such a loud mouth a splendid potential.

“Hey! Kim Myung Soo!”

He quickly disappeared from his sight and melted into the bedroom which he and Sung Yeol shared, and just as he entered the room, Sung Gyu’s voice echoed from the kitchen entrance reminding of his mother.

“Did he hear anything? Was he listening? Can’t you idiots be a little less stupid?!”

Myung Soo leaned on the door and let out a distinct sigh. It was a close one. He was in a mere proximity to his death.

“What was that about?” Asked Sung Yeol, diverting his eyes from the laptop screen with much concern. “Why is Hyung throwing a fit?”

Myung Soo collapsed onto his mattress and buried his face in his hands in exasperation. “The Polysomnography test results. He says I have some sleep disorder…does it even make sense?”

Sung Yeol closed the laptop screen and looked up with a grave façade. “It doesn’t make any sense to you…but it does, to everybody else”

“Even you?”

He nodded. “Even me”

Myung Soo’s hand found itself a good fat feather pillow which he threw across the room at the latter’s face. “Idiot!”

Throwing the pillow back at Myung Soo who skilfully caught it in his hands, Sung Yeol let out a hearty laughter; he took long enough to subside his amusement, and after he finally did, he put up a grave façade before he spoke. “Seriously Myung Soo, I believe you, but how can we be always so sure right? Plus your sleep is scary. You hit me, once you almost chocked me”

Myung Soo sighed and looked down at his hands which rested on the feather pillow. In fact, he didn’t know how exactly he could reply. In a way, he felt quite burdened and frustrated to be accued to have some mental disorder where not even his parents were conserened. It was true that there was no way that he could be aware of it if he did have any of the such, nor did he care, but when there was a completely different story behind the complete dreaming and sleeping situation, he was so frustrated that he had no possible way to get the truth through to their minds; even if he tried to, things would be even worse. He could, of course pull out a good stunt and pretend to be crazy, following after  their assumptions, but then again; absurd. He was not crazy for all he cared, why did he have to be burdened by their assumptions?

Although he had no way to elucidate what the reports said.

Sung Yeol who must have noticed how frustrated he was, reached out and laid his hands on his shoulder, looking straight into his eyes. “You’re mad at us, aren’t you…Look, we’re not calling you crazy-,”

“Can’t help it, can I?” He returned, sternly, looking at the wall  before him without meeting his gaze. “Truth aside, a boy who controls others’ dreams, it does sound pretty crazy-,”

“No look!” Sung Yeol echoed, shaking him by his shoulders. “Kid, you’re not crazy! Just…we can’t understand you, and we’re concerned. You know, when you black out like that, we freak out a great deal, especially leader Gyu, he was so worried, so this is just our concern…but if you’re upset, there are things that we can do about this, alright?”

“Things?” Myung Soo asked. “Things like what? Observing my sleep every freaking night!? It hurts my self-esteem, you know”

Sung Yeol sighed. “I know…but, here. Look. Since we know that you’re all smitten over Suji and also that she…somehow, is in love with you…and also that you want to get together with her; we can consider it a better distraction. Don’t you think? You said you’re gonna take the risk right?”

Myung Soo’s ears perked up. “What do you mean? I am going to ask her out anyway!”

Sung Yeol shook his head. “You’re annoying! I know you would, you said so earlier…but how and when, have you thought it out?”

Myung Soo simply shook his head. It was the truth, after all. He had given absolutely no thought on how he could meet her for real, when to or where. He was a little vexed about the whole deal, fearing if she wouldn’t remember the promises they made in their dreams; what if his sudden appearance startled her? Of course, she had seen him only in dreams but never for real; what if she thought she really was crazy and well, would do what she was planning to do? She had changed her mind after all though, or he felt she did so; especially given that he managed to creep into her train of thoughts that very moment; but the possibility of her recognizing him wasn’t much. She might as well call him a psychopathic stalker and bash Kim with a block of wood. He grimaced at the thought.

But as always, Sung Yeol had something genius planned up under his sleeves although Myung Soo quite feared what it may be; having his mind at point-blank, he decided to go along with his plans.

“Why, Yeol. You have a plan?”

Just as expected, a glint of excitement glimmered in his eyes before he nodded. “Yup. Kim Myung Soo, you’re going to get a girlfriend”

Myung Soo turned red at the thought. “Whatever. But just how…is it going to be a distraction?”

Sung Yeol retrieved his hands and sat back. “Simple…You would have pretty much other things to worry about if you get a girlfriend! Then you’d only be thinking of her…you’d be more responsible…and…” He lowered his head to tell him the rest. “We have to come to a deal…We’ll keep it down, your relationship, and in return, you work more. Practice, no sleeping in the car but listen to Gyu ranting, no sleeping in corners while practicing…and focus. Plus, as far as I see it, you two getting together helps your concentration much”

Myung Soo made a quizzical expression. He really was nil in understanding such issues to do with love; he was truly an amateur to the whole situation. “How so?”

Sung Yeol smiled “Oh, you’ll know it soon…”

Myung Soo rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Anyway…just tell me your plan. But before that, there’s something I have to tell you”

Sung Yeol’s brows raised. “About?”

“About Suji…the dream from tonight…”

“Oh” Sung Yeol retorted and shifted in his spot. “Tell me then…might help the plan…”

And he did just that. He told him everything from the point where he realized that Suji was actually planning to commit suicide being unable to live through all the pressure and pain, how she thought that he was only in her head, the point where he confessed and told her the truth, all until the point where he had to leave. Sung Yeol seemed all perplexed by the complete ordeal, but at the end, a hint of understanding, contentment, and his sheer excitement blatantly shimmered in his pair of dark orbs; signifying it that he had been fed of enough information to execute his plan.

Sung Yeol hopped up like an overgrown rabbit and clapped out his excitement. “Awesome! So we’ve got everything we need there except for the probability of her recognizing you…”

Myung Soo nodded hesitantly.

“So, we do as I tell you”

Myung Soo eyed him with pure curiosity. “So I say you do have a plan…”

“Yes Dumbo! I told you I did!”

“And what would that be?”

And so, the entire night, the two friends plopped down in their mattresses, pretending to sleep and planned out the whole scheme of Myung Soo keeping his promises for Bae Suji. They planned out the moment, the wonderful moment where the two hearts would entangle onto each other, for real.

 

 

 

The next morning, much to his surprise, leader Gyu handled everything that had a least bit to do with Myung Soo with utmost concern. It was,  as Myung Soo assumed, to make up to what he did the other day, revealing what he should never have about the youngster; Myung Soo was, of course flattered by the majestic treatment he received. He had never been so soft spoken by leader Gyu once in his life, and although it was quite eccentric to hear him now, Myung Soo couldn’t help it but feel so much better about being the crazy odd one of the lot.

Being only a few weeks apart from their debut date, the seven of them couldn’t find themselves a second to meddle with their matters, all they did the entire morning was practicing without breaking a sweat, and fortunately, thanks to Lee Sung Yeol, Myung Soo had ever so finely perfected the steps of their debut track.

Making things even weirder; leader Gyu actually complemented on his perfect synchronization.

“You’ve perfected it, Myung Soo…I’m impressed” He said, patting him gently on his arm. “Keep it up. The extra sessions have helped after all.”

The boys finally set down to take a breather by noon, and Myung Soo’s sheer excitement raised ever so blatantly. Nervousness ruining the entire disposition. Well, on the other hand Myung Soo was all the more satisfied with Sung Yeol’s entire plan. Sung Yeol was, after all, a great strategist, unbeknownst to him he had always been, it surprised him when the complete plan actually made sense the other night; although he was trembling down there in the core, he was certain the gullible choding would actually pull out an impeccable stunt as planned.

The two young men, regardless to Myung Soo’s ceaseless trembling and sweating, were ordered to buy lunch just as usual, where Sung Yeol simply got down to his excessively splendid plan. He had it all sorted out.But of course, the rest of the members had no idea whatsoever regarding the no-goodness schemes (accordingly) of the two young men, and just as usual, the two headed out just as they usually did, took the bus to the city and without a word reached the magical spot where Myung Soo met his first love.

Oh, she was his first love alright.

Yet, he wasn’t to catch not even a glimpse of her, or else the plan would be a goner.

“You ready?” Sung Yeol asked as they walked towards the food cart. Since it was a bright Monday afternoon in early summer, the sun shined on its brilliance, almost blinding them, and several school students wandered around the block their vacation still not being given; Myung Soo was glad that they still hadn’t gotten the vacations, he wouldn’t be here implementing the plan otherwise; yet, although he had built up his courage to confess for real, under the shimmering summer light, Myung Soo was as cold as a block of snow.

He could only nod in return.

Sung Yeol, still wearing his triumphant smile looking as though he had dictated the entire realm, pulled a neatly folded paper out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Myung Soo which he took with a trembling hand. It was a note, which was the preliminary part of Sung Yeol’s glorious plan, and also which Myung Soo was to pass along with Suji and her friend’s portions of food.

Reaching the cart ultimately, the two heaved long breathers simultaneously and looked at one another. A split of a second of gawking before Sung Yeol placed the orders; while so, Myung Soo took the opportunity to allow his eyes to wander off in search for some in particular.

He spotted her immediately with less effort, and just as always, his entire realm stood still in time, his mind did a quick rerun of the night before.

…in his dreams, he had told her that he loved her…

…in her dreams, she had told him that she loved him…

And there, right there just a few lazy meters away from him sat his precious Bae Suji, looking as dazed and lost as ever. Myung Soo had to put such a great effort to overcome the impulse of running towards her and kidnapping her for all he cared.

He could kidnap her alright, where she had actually kidnapped his heart.

He immediately diverted his gaze the moment Sung Yeol called out his name. He gestured towards the old man who sat behind the card with a witty smile. Myung Soo took a deep breath, and then another.

He was in a fair proximity to collapse, but he held up. After all, he was Kim Myung Soo, infinite’s visual Kim Myung Soo. How bad could it be for his sanity if he couldn’t gather his courage to do something just as simple as this?

Smiling mildly as possible while trying not to look giddy, Myung Soo walked to the owner and held the note out into his face. He felt so badly offended. He’s passing a note to a girl through a food cart owner. Where had his self-esteem vanished to?

But then again, there have to be one point where he really wouldn’t care.

“To Bae Suji, isn’t it…?” Asked the old man with a gentle smile. Myung Soo was staggered for a while, wondering how on earth he had read his mind, it took him a while to remember that Sung Yeol had actually informed him of the entire plan. He was thankful for him, he honestly was; otherwise, if he were to drivel any word that very moment, he wouldn’t have made any clear sense whatsoever.

Myung Soo managed a nod. He had factually lost his voice.

“And that is…?”

With a trembling finger, Myung Soo pointed at the direction where she sat, now with Jia, chattering out her heart’s content. A knowing smile spread across the older man’s lips.

“Oh. Her, I’ll make sure it gets to her hand…”

He kept the note safely on a pair of stacked up lunch containers which he immediately assumed as theirs.

“And you young men should go before them right?”

Myung Soo nodded in retort.

“I’ll be quick then!”

All Myung Soo could bring out was a little smile.

 

The two young men found themselves a comfortable spot on the concrete ground to rest on until the food was done, thus, secluded from the balmy summer sunrays which factually blinded their vision, Myung Soo and Sung Yeol suited themselves under the shade of a nearby hut and watched the people passing by in utter silence. And Myung Soo thought about being in love. Of course, Bae Suji was his very first love; where he wanted her to be the last person he’d fall in love with, yet conversely he wondered whether it was too vague of a thought. And it scared him. Would his first love remain to the point where it would be his one and only love? Or would he or she, at some point of it where they shared their untainted feelings to each other, face a change of hearts? If so, then where would he stand? As a person? As a lover? The entire thought blatantly scared him, it was boredom, truly. How could he ever even imagine to lose Bae Suji? His feelings were so clung, fixed and attached to the thinnest fiber of her existent, and there was no way that he’d have a change of mind…

…or he wouldn’t think of it anymore. After all, what mattered the most now was his and her present, which, much to his contentment, was emphatically splendid.

“What are you thinking Myung?” Sung Yeol asked after a while, just after a rush of warm wind passed by. It was scented of greenery, which must have come from the field nearby.

“Things…” Myung Soo replied distantly. Although his mind no longer pondered on the complex matters, his mind was still fixed somewhere still far away where an occasional Pegasus would fly by.

“Things…? Like what?”

Myung Soo stared out as a young pair passed by hand in hand; an eccentric couple it was, a jumpy and bubbly guy paired up with one of the very boring kind, but they certainly seemed to share something in common; strange.

“Yeol, do you have a first love?” Myung Soo suddenly asked out of the blue, Sung Yeol, who was surprised out of his skin eyed him with uncertainty tainting his features. Myung Soo couldn’t imagine his friend being in love; that happy, choding bubbly being but the young couple that just passed by made him wonder.

Sung Yeol cleared his throat and looked ahead, completely expressionless; Myung Soo was perplexed.

“No…I-I haven’t…not yet…” He finally replied in a shaky voice. “Why do you ask? Have you?”

Myung Soo was too preoccupied to notice much about Sung Yeol’s discomfort, smiling at his own feelings, he replied to the latter part of the question. “Suji…she’s my first love”

“Oh” Sung Yeol said briefly and looked straight ahead. “I…I’d meet mine…err…soon…”

“True” Myung Soo said, fidgeting with the cord of his hoodie. “You will…like I did…”

Thus, the two remained in utter silence, allowing the aroma of fresh Kimchi frying on the pan fill their lungs. After a while, Sung Yeol called him out.

“Yeah?”

A moment of silence. “Myung…you should…tell Gyu Hyung the truth…”

Myung Soo turned to the other rather calmly. “That I will be going out with Bae Suji?”

Sung Yeol nodded. “After all, he’d concerned about you…”

Myung Soo looked ahead, stared out at the concrete path ahead where people generally lingered around, and finally nodded. “I will…the truth is, since we’re close now…I will never be able to keep such a thing from the others…”

Sung Yeol let out a hearty chuckle. “You can hide your face well, but never yourself, isn’t it?”

“You can say that” Myung Soo said, smiling.

“I say so because I know so…Myung Soo, you’re always so obvious that you get into trouble all the time”

“Maybe that’s my charm” Myung Soo retorted, looking out at where Suji sat, far away from his viewable distance. “I have loads of charms you see…”

Sung Yeol opened his mouth to argue, but all before he could, the food tender called them out with a frantic wave; with his fingers crossed, Myung Soo hopped up on his feet and made his way through in a quick run, Sung Yeol followed suit. And all before Suji could notice the two of them, they disappeared from her viewable distance, yet out of instinct, Myung Soo turned around to see where she were, and he could swear he saw her holding the folded white sheet in her hands.

 

 

“Myung Soo-ah!” Sung Gyu Hyung called out just as he pulled out his portion of lunch out of the pack. They had returned just a while ago and was sitting through their exhaustion when leader Gyu asked them to eat before the food went cold (Myung Soo couldn’t bear his weirdness, literally), Sung Yeol, of course was sprawled on the floor as though eating was the last thing in his mind; Sung Gyu Hyung, on his part, hadn’t laid a hand on his food. He was on his feet, ranting around as he’d always would.

“Myung Soo-ah, come along, we’ll eat together…”

If not for the odds, Myung Soo would have considered eating out on the pavement waiting for a car to run over him.

The two climbed up the stairs without exchanging a single word. It’s strange, how Sung Gyu Hyung actually lived through the silence for he was rarely, hardly ever silent; all he enjoyed doing throughout the entire day was monopolizing people by filling their heads with his stress or  with some other issue which nobody else had concern whatsoever; and the silent leader; well, he found him rather comfortable to be with. Myung Soo appreciated the silence after all.

The two reached the rooftop and suited themselves comfortably on the slab; the concrete was warm in spite of the scorching summer ambiance, the wind blew by in such a rush, the two had to tug the covers of their lunch packs under their feet to keep them from hitting on each other’s’ faces. For a moment they ate in utter silence.

After a while, both Myung Soo and leader Gyu found the courage to speak at the very same time. An awkward moment where they both silenced. Myung Soo chuckled and urged the older to go on.

And he did.

“Myung Soo…sorry about…yesterday if it hurt you…I didn’t mean to, really”

Myung Soo let out a sigh and eyed his leader with a smile. “It’s alright Hyung, Hyung don’t even have to apologize…I’m unaffected, I swear…”

Sung Gyu gave him a concerned look. “Are you sure?”

Myung Soo nodded with a smile. “Yup. Certain…”

“Then we’ll forget what happened?”

“Sure will do” Myung Soo retorted and passed his share of egg into the leader’s portion of rice. There wasn’t anything strange about the two of them eating out together since they did the same the day before as well. Myung Soo found it rather attentive, in fact, as though leader Gyu was taking this opportunity to follow every movement that he seemed to take, but then again, he didn’t care. This was, after all, the concern that he had for him.

Which brought him back to…

“Hyung” Myung Soo finally called out when he had gathered enough courage to speak up. Poking on the food with his chopsticks and without once glancing up at the latter he inquired why he called.

Myung Soo took a second to ponder the suitable question before he asked;

“Hyung…Do you have a first love?”

Sung Gyu’s hand immediately stiffened and froze in spot. Myung Soo noticed how he turned pale at the slightest, jaws clenched, reminiscent clouded his features as the seconds passed. The silence engulfing them was stiff and uncomfortable; Myung Soo immediately regretted what he did.

But Kim Sung Gyu, as far as Myung Soo was concerned, never allowed his feelings monopolize his perception, he was stronger than any twenty year old that he had known.

“Every man has a first love Myung Soo…that’s a moral factor” Sung Gyu finally replied and looked up to face the younger. “Why do you ask…? All of a sudden?”

Myung Soo bit his lip and looked down at his food which was barely touched. Although he had built up his courage to tell their leader the truth, facing his now, his courage has drained entirely, leaving him powerless; leader Gyu never failed to have that effect on him or anybody else; for that matter; and miraculously, he was capable of prevailing them without even trying.

“By any chance…Myung Soo you…”

He finally looked up. For the sake of a guarded vow for someone so precious that he owned, Myung Soo would take this one risk, even though it meant the end of his life with a probability of being run over by a car.

“Hyung, I…” He sighed and looked out in to the broad pastel blue sky where not even a trace of white clouds was visible. “There’s this girl…”

They then remained silent for split of a second, watching the several of abandoned cloth articled swaying in the wind. The silence was so strong that he could factually grasp the hum that the wind made, it was as sweet as a lullaby, he wondered how it would be like if he could stretch out in the very spot and doze off to a dreamland; but then again, he remembered the vow he made.

Sung Gyu finally spoke up. “I thought so…since a while ago…”

Myung Soo was, in fact, expecting him to throw the leftover of his food on his alluring face. Yet, even his mere reaction had no surprising effect; it was as though, somewhere down there in the core, he was expecting it.

“Oh…” He said briefly and looked down at his hand.

“It was since that day…where you actually mentioned a girl”

Myung Soo remained silent, looking down at his hand as he nervously fidgeted with his food.

“So…what are you going to do about it?”

Myung Soo allowed the silence to remain just a little longer before he finally gathered his courage to reply, while so did he think of all the ways to dodge whatever which would be directed onto his face with many possibilities.

“I…will ask her out”

But, much to his surprise, Gyu Hyungs lunch, and his half empty bottle of mineral water stayed intact. It was, nonetheless the biggest surprise of his life.

“Oh…Good for you then”

Myung Soo literally chocked, and if he were still eating he would have splattered at his face, for a moment, the impulse to question his hearing was immense, it was as though Gyu Hyung had just announced a whole day with no work. Myung Soo took a few seconds to ponder on the situation.

“Hyung…” He finally asked, finding his voice. “Why do you sound so calm?”

“Calm?” He asked with a slight smile playing on his lips. “Why shouldn’t I?”

Myung Soo stared at him long to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, and finally shook his head. “But Hyung, shouldn’t you be mad at me? Yelling at me? We shouldn’t date, we aren’t allowed to-,”

“Myung Soo” Leader Gyu called out, cutting him off in the middle. “Aren’t you in love?”

Myung Soo, of course, saw no point in denying it. He simply nodded in response.

“Aren’t you wishing to own her?”

He nodded again.

“Then can it be helped?”

Silence. For he knew, for a fact that there was no way that he could help loving her. The more in denial he was, the more infatuated he would be; thus, the best option? Owning her for all he cared.

“Then go for it, Myung Soo. I wouldn’t say no…”

“But why wouldn’t you?” He asked, unbelieving what he just heard. The truth was, not only Myung Soo but everyone else of infinite for a certainty knew that leader Gyu was someone who took feelings as granted, prioritizing his dreams where emotions always fell behind. He had allowed his passion win over his emotions; he wouldn’t cry where he should cry, wouldn’t smile where he’s supposed to smile, and most importantly, he wouldn’t love where he needed love; instead he would put himself in a deep dark corner and live through his pains himself. For Kim Sung Gyu, feelings never mattered, but his dream, it always did. “Isn’t it wrong? We are idols, we shouldn’t date, that’s what they say-,”

Sung Gyu dropped his chopsticks into his container and bit his lip. For a moment, Myung Soo wondered if he truly seemed vulnerable, and if he did, this would be a one in a million chance like spotting Hailey’s comet every seventy five years, rather eccentric, then again, a marvel. It wasn’t every day that he’d witness a single tear drop in this strong man’s eyes, he feared nothing, and he loved nothing although under the hard heavy armor he had put up as his persona, he held a big, untainted heart. Sung Gyu was a strange man, and Myung Soo would give anything to see any sturdy emotion in his eyes.

“It’s not…” He said finally, his eyes disappearing as he stared up at the gleaming blue sky; an occasional bird would pass by, there was a crow crying somewhere, the rooftop was home for many, leader Gyu included. “It’s not wrong, Myung Soo…as long as it’s not the wrong person…”

“Wrong person…?” Oddly enough, Myung Soo had the tinniest feeling that Gyu Hyung was referring to himself.

Sung Gyu reached over and kept a hand on his shoulder. “Look. Myung Soo…being an idol is like a survival game show. To survive in the field, you need the potentials; Being able to control your emotions, capabilities in the field you specialize, and then making alliances with the correct people. One wrong decision, it all goes down the drain…”

“Making alliances?” Myung Soo inquired; perplexed. “Is dating…considered making alliances?”

Sung Gyu nodded. “For us, it is. In a way. That’s why we have to make the right choice. Both the parties should understand who they are and where they stand, Myung Soo. Love, there’s nothing wrong with that, but own the right people where it benefits the both side, in life and spiritual vise. For idols, it matters. Mutual understanding. Dating means scandals, flushing your career down the toilet; but as long as you date the right person. It stays. Remember, there’s a dream that you had always wanted to own…”

Myung Soo nodded, offering him his best infinite’s-visual smile. Just as always, leader Gyu made seamless sense. Of course Sung Yeol’s rationalizing hardly ever makes any sense; even falling in love with fans made absolutely no sense to him, provided that he had only one heart to give to so many out there, but candidly enough, if he loved someone who understood him better than any other, that’s where true love should stand. Love, and understanding. Myung Soo was in no state to decipher each term clearly, nor did it make perfect wisdom to his juvenile mind, but he respected his judgment, after all; leader Gyu knew what’s best.

And also, he knew with his whole heart and soul that owning Bae Suji made perfect sense than no other. They stood in the element, they shared the same dream, they dreamed the same dream, looked at the world with the very same eyes thus the possibility for them to walk up the path of success as idols hand in hand was plausible, and he knew he could trust her to help him to protect what’s precious to the both of them. If he’d decide this a perfect choice, he knew, he would never regret it any day. Myung Soo had his infinite trust on Bae Suji.  

Even if he didn’t; Bae Suji just worth the try.

And it surprised him out of his skin when leader Gyu’s eyes actually glistened with emotions. It wasn’t every day that he’d see tears in them, but when he did, well, he actually began to believe the fact that leader Gyu had this side to himself too; the person who considered bashing people’s faces with his everyday helping of stress and anger had actually held humane emotions in his core.

Myung Soo realized, Sung Gyu had been defeated by love, if that did even exist.

“Hyung…” He muttered, his eyes directed sternly at the other. “Have you…been in love with the wrong person…by any chance?”

There was silence on the other end; Myung Soo could swear he saw tears brimmed in his eyes when Sung Gyu lowered his head without parole. He gathered his half eaten pack of lunch in a hurry, covered the container and climbed up on his feet, wiping his mouth with the back of his palm, and soon made his way towards the roof-top’s entrance in his ever so graceful walk. Myung Soo suddenly got the impulse to hop off the railing and die. Heck, why did he have to bring up a question of the sort?

But, of course, there was the point where he needed to touch him there deep in the depths of his heart where he secured all his emotions…

“Sorry! Hyung…” He yelled out in the end out of instinct and stood up. “I didn’t mean to…”

He had apparently gone too far.

Sung Gyu stopped on his tracks and turned around; Myung Soo collapsed, literally, just by witnessing unmistakable tears rolling down his cheeks. Yet, even through that, Sung Gyu managed to keep a straight face, dead as stone.

“Clean it once you’re done…” He said, completely ignoring the apology he just made. “Practice in ten minutes, sharp…”

Myung Soo could only manage a hesitant nod before he continued.

“Don’t apologize again. It’s strange”

And with that, he disappeared into the darkness of the staircase. That very moment, Myung Soo made a mental note to never question Gyu Hyung about love, not even Sung Yeol, or anyone else. Love, it should remain untouched, unquestioned, and concealed in their hearts.

 

 

Kim Myung Soo held every aspect that an angel, predominantly the kind that they see in heaven, possessed. He was beautiful, so so beautiful that even men had their hearts skipping beats at the sight of him and that, just couldn’t be helped; Myung Soo was the epitome of virile splendor, and anyone, absolutely anyone wouldn’t take it in any other way. With thick dark hair and deep dark eyes which could look through a person in a miraculous gawk making one wonder if he had his soul out, he caught everyone’s attention, of both men and women all the same and there were more than enough reasons to make him the face of infinite, leading them in the path of splendor and that’s just how the members of the group would accept him. The face of infinite. The infinite splendor of a man. And of course, despite leader Gyu’s endless ranting about his lack of concentration, there were countless times where he had actually announced that Myung Soo’s sheer existence in the group, even if all he did was standing there like a bum, was enough to gain popularity. And so, it was such a waste if Myung Soo wasn’t taken by a girl, it just was.

It was on a bright Saturday morning three days after the letter was conveyed that Kim Myung Soo finally kept his first precious vow to Bae Suji. The weather was soothing and tranquil, the pastel blue sky held a trace of clouds through which the bright summer rays crept and glistened on the jade green pads of oak leaves at where he stood. Sighing, Myung Soo turned away from the very sight and made his way down the stone path, deeper into the greenery.

This was the concluding part of Lee Sung Yeol’s brilliant plan, the point where Kim Myung Soo showed up before Bae Suji in flesh and bones. Myung Soo, of course, was terrified underneath. Regardless to all the vows and promises they made, there were still doubts in their story, and he was still unsure whether she would recognize him provided that it was only him who was conscious in his dream where she wasn’t. The memories of a dream were mostly forgotten among the ordinary beings. Therefore, her remembering him; the possibility of it was proximally nil.

But then again, she was worth the try.

The park was strangely uncrowded for a fine Saturday morning, only an occasional inhabitant would pass by, and most of the garden benches were isolated and unoccupied; as he walked through, though, Myung Soo allowed his eyes to wander about in search for one sight in particular while his heart raised in horsepower. Bae Suji was nowhere in sight.

Once he made his way far enough, he found himself a tranquil spot secluded from everybody else, he sat on a bench and watched the cherry blossoms floating in the summer breeze; its sweetest mellow scent filled his lungs, and enjoying it, he closed his eyes.

He thought of Bae Suji as he waited, he thought of the promises he made to her. In a way, he was afraid. If she never remembered who he were, things would go on a drastic topsy turve and he had no idea how he should manage it if it did. He then thought about what leader Gyu had told him the other day. Loving the wrong person; but now that he gave his deepest thoughts on the entire idea, he felt less afraid. He knew, Bae Suji could be held with all his trust. They were of the element anyway.

And there he had to try his best from drifting into a deep sleep. He needed it, he couldn’t blink an eye the other night, nervousness had the best of him that he tossed and turned in the bed the entire night. But if he’d drift asleep now, he’d lose it, even a second of their encounter which he would never be able to retrieve.

And then he was afraid she wouldn’t turn up after all. About which he’d think later on. After all, Lee Sung Yeol had already made a plan B.

But after a few minutes of solitary silence, the time proved it to him that plan B was in fact, unnecessary. He happened to open his eyes to the glimmering epitome of feminine beauty.

Kim Myung Soo’s realm stood still in time.

His moment had arrived.

There, she stood, right before his very eyes gleaming under the vivid sunlight like a glorious work of sculptured art; he couldn’t help it but stare at her in awe. He noticed how her long dark mane of hair swayed gently in the summer breeze, how it shined under the sunlight, how her smile brightened his whole day. She was scented of vanilla and summer, the very existence of her had his heart pounding in milliseconds. Where he was infatuated over seeing her in dreams, seeing her before his eyes, standing in flesh and bone; Kim Myung Soo lost his mind.

“You…came?” he could managed in a vague stammer. She didn’t respond though. She just stood there, stiff as a block of stone. Perplexed.

Myung Soo’s heart fell.

Hadn’t she…recognized him? Just as he feared?

Suji tilted her head to a side and stared at him long. He noticed how her irises narrowed and widened by the time, confusion and a hint of worry painting her graceful features. Then her eyes fell into her hand. He noticed, she was holding onto the note that he had passed. She finally looked up, a slight smile playing on her lips.

“So I’m not crazy after all…”

The plan was to act as though their dreams never happened, or things would be made even more complex. The truth would be out sooner or later, but as Sung Yeol believed, a natural act for the time being was for the better to the two of them.

And after all, Myung Soo had already taken acting, thus this wouldn’t be too hard of an act…

“Eh?” Myung Soo raised his brows, sitting straight. The act was to pretend that he saw her frequently visit the food cart (Which she frequently did, for a fact), had a growing fondness towards her and finally passed on a letter to meet. He kept the doubts to be answered for the time’s being. For now he’d hold up to the act.

Suji raised her eyes in return. “Kim Myung Soo…this is…bizarre…I-I was supposed to meet you here…?”

“How…” He began, sounding as surprised as he could. “Do you know my name?”

“Why?” She returned, sounding as equally surprised. “Wasn’t I supposed to?”

Myung Soo chuckled and climbed up on his feet. “Well, for the record, you’re meeting me for the first time…although I’ve been…waiting to meet you, this way…”

Suji uttered no word, surprised and rubbed her hand on the nape of her neck. Myung Soo couldn’t help it but gawk at all the cuteness that she was.

“Oh…so…you sent me a note…”

Myung Soo looked down at his feet, his ears turning red. “Strange…” He said, scraping the ground with his shoe. “I’ve been…feeling attached to the girl I’ve been seeing there at the food cart for a while…” He then looked up, forcing out a smile. “And it finally came down to this…”

“Came down to…what?” Suji asked, slowly scrunching the paper in her hands. Myung Soo finally gathered his wits and looked up.

“Well…I’ve been waiting for this…for quite a while. That’s why I sent you a note…and…” He took a deep breath and let out a sigh. “Would you…would you let me court you?"

The look on her face for him was simply priceless. fell agape, eyes were as wide as dishes; a truly mesmerizing sight but then again, something had gone seriously wrong. Why would she look as though he had asked her to jump off a cliff?

He quickly stepped back and gave her a smile. "I-I'm sorry...it it's too soon...and out of the blue...I've been contemplating on asking you out...I wanted to know you better..."

"Why?" She asked, it was his chance to be surprised.

"Eh?"

"Why would you ask me out?"

"Because you're intriguing, I believe"

"Oh..." she muttered, sounding disappointed.

Myung Soo truly had the impulse to laugh.

"Is...that all?" She asked, sounding a little disappointed. He truly wanted to bring it out, the fantasy of their love story but Sung Yeol had zipped up his mouth, telling him all the ludicrously terrifying things which could come after if he told her that they met through their dreams. Which was, in fact, true. Her dreams, well, must be conceled somewhere deep in her mind. She wasn't concious like he was in their dreams. It was, like said, for the best if they'd start out as an ordinary couple.

"There has to be more to it?" He asked, hiding his impulse to laugh. The look that she gave him was quizzical, and then the cutest he had ever seen on her. Again did he have the urge to take her hand and fly off to a world where they could walk on pink clouds...

...how absurd...

"I...I feel strange...have I really not met you before?"

Myung Soo looked straight in to her eyes. "Should we have? Well, I first saw you...in the bus, a week ago..."

"Oh..." was her briefest reply.

"Well, I can't guarantee if we met or not" He quickly added with a smile. "Maybe we did...somewhere...in our lives..."

Suji nodded and again, stared at him long in his eyes. "Then...I must be crazy...yes I am!"

Myung Soo widened his eyes. "Why must you be?"

"Because I...I've been seeing dreams of you...I swear I saw you..."

He let out a stifled laughter. "Dreaming? Me?"

"Oh oh oh..." She chimed, nodding off her head. "Strange...but I swear..."

Then Myung Soo cleared his throat, adding a piece of fantasy on his own. "Well...the truth is...I've been seeing you too...in my...dreams. I thought that...maybe it was because..." He looked up and fixed his eyes into hers. "I'm in love..."

Suji raised her eyes steadfast into his, they shined under the sun like morning stars, lips parted, cheeks flushed; Bae Suji was the the most beautiful sight that he had ever laid his eyes on in his life. He held back the urge to gather her in his arms and tell her that he was only playing where in all honesty they have met countless times in their dreams, and they conveyed their feelings to each other and they kissed and they loved. But he was afraid, something stopped him, manipulated him, telling him that this wasn't the right time. He'd give it more time; he told himself. There has to be a point where this ridiculousness should stop, and maybe this was the point where he should give his infatuation a rest. He'd be, for once, an ordinary man falling in love with an ordinary girl.

"Maybe...it is..." Suji muttered at last, turning red at the slightest. "Maybe...it is then...Maybe I'm not crazy after all..."

"Maybe its fate" Myung Soo added a piece of his mind. Oh! he just loved the sound of it. "Maybe its fate which made us dream...the same dream..."

"The same...dream?" She asked, sounding confused. Myung Soo nodded in return. "We dreamed of each other..."

"Oh..." She muttered in daze. "Dreaming of each other...it all makes sense!" She snapped, a smile spreading across her face. "Maybe it is fate, maybe...maybe god...showed us...in our dreams...who we are destined for..."

Myung Soo had the massive urge to throw confetti. "Yes yes yes..." He chimed, sounding vague and gullible. "Maybe that's it! Maybe it's a destined dream...for the both of us!"

Suji laughed, she laughed like a lunatic where he joined in. "Yes! A destined dream...wow...I'm not crazy after  all..."

Myung Soo frowned. He despised it. Why did she have to go on about being crazy where she was not! Well, as it happened, the craziest of the two happened to be Myung Soo himself...

...about which he wouldn't think anymore.

"You still haven't answered my question...princess" He pointed out after a while.

"Question...? Princess?" She stuttered, sounding as though he just said the most glorious thing in the world. Myung Soo couldn't help but let out a little laughter. How could a girl be ever so cute? She was definitely unicorns and rainbows and butterflies and candy, Definitely.

"Princess, I asked...would you let me court you?"

A moment of silence, the vivid sunrays casted golden ripples on her hair, a rush of morning breeze; it was scented of cherry blossoms, it was nice. Myung Soo thought of Suji who stood right before his eyes and smiled.

Suji's nod was a slightest yet the most wonderful sight of all...

"Yes...I will...I will...my mighty prince..."

For a moment he wondered if he'd collapse.

"Will you? Princess?" He asked, just to make certain he heard her right. After all, he hadn't been quite well in his mind for a while...

"I will, I will!" She sang, taking both his hands into hers. "Court me, my prince...This must be the best fairytale ever!"

"I will...." He said and pulled her closer into his heart. "I will...and yes it is...it is the best fairytale ever in the whole world..."

And the two held on still, tightly onto each other as though letting go was the last thing in their minds. Two hearts entangled, two dreams met and became one, that one dream which they'd dream together, forever as one. That dream the two loving hearts was destined to dream.

Their one destined reverie...

And thus, the boy who painted dreams painted others's dreams no more. He painted only his, he painted only hers, he painted only the dreams that they shared, they owned.

Kim Myung Soo and  Bae Suji lived happily ever after.

 

Infinite debut a month later. Suji was helped to rise as an idol, Miss A debuted a month later after infinite did.

Yet all through this, the dreaming princess and the mighty prince, still did they love.

They loved forever.

 

And well, That ends the story of Kim myung Soo, the boy who painted dreams who lived happily ever after.

 

 

 

The end.