It was after returning home that he realized why his wallet was emptier than it usually would be. Myung Soo, of course, had no much appetite that he decided to eat later and sat in a corner, his perfection hidden beneath the darkness inside his sweater, trying hard to not to fall into an exciting slumber. Just thinking of her literally put him to sleep, the excitement of having to dream for her had gone far beyond the limit that he could hardly sit and wait. The group, on the other hand had settled down around the petit stool in the hall of their dorm, preparing to enjoy their non-too-appetizing lunch.

In spite of their decreasing budget due to the debut which has approached a good proximity by then, the boys were cut low of their salary for the time being, more money put into the debut project. They, in fact, weren’t very well off, the CEO of the company had to sell away his belongings to bring the boys this far, he had done so much of commitment to paint a beautiful future for his very first kpop boy group with all his love that in return, the boys were putting their fullest strength and support.

And eating Kimchi fried rice for literally every single meal was just one of them.

The two managers had head out with their shares of food, leaving the boys to spend time of their own since they hadn’t gotten enough time to get along with each other. Several of them already had hate on each other, for an instance; leader Gyu and Woo Hyun, the two main vocalists never seemed to get along, they’d argue most of the time (Sunggyu did nagging the most, oddly enough) and once leader Gyu even confessed that if not for Woo Hyun being a part of the group, he would never have any likeness to be involved with him.

Their CEO was certainly worried of their lack of fondness, and then there was Kim Myung Soo, going around with his ethereal façade which hardly ever did any good to them…

And to perfectly match his eccentric ghost-like personality, he was named after ‘L’, the ghostlike anime character of death note. At times, Myung Soo would mechanically adapt to the very character himself.

Now, for an instance, he sat in a corner of the ragged old sofa, his legs folded, hands resting on knees, idly sitting by as though nothing ever really mattered. There was no doubt, of course, regarding the matter of his stage name and he agreed on the fact himself.

It was Lee Sung Yeol who made the great discovery first of all.

“Bulgogi? It’s Bulgogi!” He exclaimed in his elementary tone whch echoed throughout the house, gaining everyone’s attention all at once; all the boys, except Myung Soo opened their share only to be seized by utter surprise.

Bulgogi, a variety of Korean beef meal certainly was a lot more expensive than a simple portion of Kimchi fried rice, which was the prime reason why they hardly ever bought any –although they’d give anything to try some once in a while – in order to save their money since they were lacking of it.

But Myung Soo, on the other hand was drastically surprised. How on earth did he end up buying Bulgogi? The food cart person must have been gravely mistaken…

…not that he clearly remembered what exactly he ordered at that time…Hell, how could he remember? He was completely carried into a Disney tale!

But he spoke of none of these. Being idols was fairly close to being soldiers of some sort of a historical fiction. For them, love was forbidden. Idols, they should forever be in love with their fans, well, at least, for a certain period of time, and never ever bring out scandals along which could be of any means of harming their image. As much as their flawless singing, synchronized choreography and expensive, unique attire mattered, them keeping an impeccable image as idols mattered too…

…although they hadn’t really gone that far. But still, good to be on the safe side.

Myung Soo was suddenly afraid. What if he really was in love? What if he’d really begin a scandal all before Infinite debuted? Leader Gyu would never be so happy about it. Myung Soo could literally imagine how he’d like to have the latter for his dinner.

Which was fairly a worse version of what he was seeing now.

Kim Sung Gyu had fire in his eyes. “Bulgogi? Why the hell would you buy Bulgogi Myung Soo?”

He didn’t reply but shrugged more into his sweater. But when he finally looked up, the devilish glare in his leader’s tiny eyes were gone, being replaced with concern. He stared at him for a couple of very awkward seconds before he lightly smiled, it was so soft that Myung Soo could hardly grasp it that he was smiling. Why was he, Myung Soo, called the Ice prince when leader Gyu hardly ever smiled> how did his laughter sound like even? He was one of the strangest that he couldn’t understand.

“Myung Soo, you and I will talk, afterwards…have your meal…”

Myung Soo had no other option but to oblige. Oh how wonderful of a leader was he? Kim Sung Gyu had a phenomenal charm that his simplest words simply penetrated absolutely anyone to follow his words.

The boys were beyond delighted. There was no doubt, the shop keeper wasn’t really mistaken for sure for he hardly ever did; they’ve known him long enough. It had been Myung Soo’s fault, and the young men were just happy for it, regardless to whatever the problem he had.

They’d never even guess it that he was love-struck anyway.

“Wah! Is it my birthday?” Sung Yeol asked loudly with a full mouth, Myung Soo threw him a coldest glare, it was for his own good that Sung Yeol should keep his mouth shut rather than being in a mere proximity to his brutal death…

Give no damn for your birthday you fool… Myung Soo thought as he chew on the juicy chunks of beef  and rice. I met my love…I lost my purpose, I lost my mind, thus I dreamed…

I dreamed and dreamed and dreamed at my heart’s content and painted the most beautiful reverie diligently in my heart to dream again, tonight…

After lunch, before they headed off to voice training, Leader Sung Gyu walked into the tiny cubicle of a room that Myung Soo and Dong Woo shared with his eyes filled with utter concern. Myung Soo was in the middle of putting on a T-shirt, and thus the very old-fashioned leader Gyu quickly shut the door close and waited patiently until the younger one was done. When he were, he approached him in light footsteps, Myung Soo always believed leader Gyu had the most graceful walk of them all, he reached out and placed a hand on his forehead.

“Myung Soo, are you alright? Are you sick?”

Myung Soo could never stand such affection from an older brother, he was an older brother himself and never cared for however his brother was feeling. Myung Soo pulled the leader’s hand away.

“I’m alright” He replied sincerely. As long as love-sick is not an actual sickness, not that you’d even know, Hyung.

Sunggyu sighed loudly and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Sorry about before…Didn’t mean to yell at you like that…”

Myung Soo shook his head. “It’s…okay Hyung…” And a gulp, a very hard one. “I’m sorry too…for ruining the practices…”

Sung Gyu smiled. “It’s alright…mistakes happen…it’s just, since the Debut is getting closer, and I’m all paranoid and afraid…”

“I will do my best, Hyung” Myung Soo promised and eased the wrinkles of his shirt, only to be returned with yet another smile.

“Good to hear…But Myung Soo…you…seemed strange, for the past few days…”

It was a hard blow across his face. Or so you noticed…

“Ah, nothing of the sort…really” He quickly made up, forcing a fake smile but Sunggyu never seemed to buy it. He narrowed his eyes. “You’d been pre-occupied lately, dazed and…lost…is there anything wrong? Mentally?”

Mentally? Myung Soo would have laughed. Mentally? Everything was wrong, nothing was alright. He was a man who walked into people’s dreams from day to night for heaven’s sake?

Not that the leader should know, anyway.

“No nothing! I-,”

“Are you stressed?”

Myung Soo stopped blabbering before he’d drivel the unnecessary.

“Tired?”

Silence.

“Mentally ill?”

At last, Myung Soo let out a sigh. “I’m fine alright? Hyung worry too much, let’s go now…”

Sung Gyu finally nodded softly and before he returned he gave a serious look as he spoke. “Myung Soo, if there was anything wrong, tell me, do not hesitate, I’m begging you…”

With a nod, Myung Soo agreed and smiled. Then together, the two headed out into the hall. For some strange reason, Kim Myung soo loved their leader beyond words.

 

 

 

Myung Soo had never been so eager to fall asleep in his life.

After vocal training sessions the boys returned to another five hours of group practices, during which, of course, Myung Soo screwed just as he’d always do. His concentration had reached its very worse point, to the extent where he’d lose his count let alone his balance and then, sadly, his attentiveness. In less than a minute, he had lost all his dreams of becoming a singer, which he now literally was, instead, all his heart and soul wanted him to be just one phenomenon in particular.

The girl’s dream.

Being Kim Myung Soo, that wasn’t very hard, that wasn’t hard at all. It was a lot more easier than convincing Leader Gyu to buy beef steak, but the only matter that stood still on his way was the time. The time wouldn’t move along at all.

He stood in his relevant position after he had screwed the formation, not concentrating a least bit to what leader Gyu had to say. He could hear the smooth, promising tone of his voice, and he thought of how her voice must sound like. Honey, probably. She must sound like honey being poured over cream, or…or strawberry puree being poured over sundae…or…

“Kim Myung Soo. Are you even listening?”

The change of tones immediately brought his attention. He widened his eyes, “Eh?”

Sung Gyu let out a soundless sigh and ran his hand through his hair. “I just don’t know what to do with this kid…”

“Throw him out!” Somebody-by the voice of it, Woohyun- yelled out. “Infinite is fine without a visual!”

“Without a visual? Hell! While I’m here?” Sung Yeol.

Woohyun broke into a fit of laughter. “Yeah if you’re the visual I’d be the CEO!”

“CEO? You? Then there wouldn’t be Infinite-!”

“Would you guys shut up!?”

The complete hall silenced after the great leader Gyu explosion, he returned to Myung Soo who stared at him with his mouth agape. “You…individual practices…every single night. I’ll check on you…”

He literally fainted. Individual practices every…single…night?

Every single night?

Which sadly indicated that his sleeping time would be cut off by half…

He immediately changed his mind. Kim Myung Soo did not love leader Gyu. He just didn’t.

“But-!”

Sung Gyu held up his palm. “No buts. I tried to treat you nicely, but here you are, ruining things again. No giving breaks anymore. Extra two hours of individual practices, no less”

More yes. He wished he could truly dig a hole down to the core of the earth. If his sleeping hours were decreased, Kim Myung Soo would not live anymore, he could swear he would not.

But not failing to his vicious promises, Kim Sung Gyu forced, literally forced Myung Soo to stay extra two hours in the studio, practicing, while the rest headed home, although his promises included the fact that he’d be checking on him, Leader Gyu, without a word, being the very majestic leader he were, left as well. Kim Myung Soo was left alone in the hall…all alone…

Kim Sung Gyu was stupider than he thought.

But of course, had he no idea about the no goodness schemes of the boy who painted dreams.

Without thinking further, Myung Soo turned down the music after he had made sure the van had left, locked the studio since he was certain the manager Hyungs were upstairs, pulled out a bean bag, lied down and soon allowed himself to be carried away into a peaceful, uninterrupted slumber.

Thus Kim Myung Soo, the boy who painted dreams entered the world of dreams, a realm full of unbelievable desires and reveries. He swam through them, unfolding and painting and wandering into each and every one of them. At times he’d meet brutal monsters of a child’s dreams, then a long gone memory of a deceased wife of an old man, a field filled with marigolds, a meadow of lovely fresh greenery and even a dirty alleyway where the danger hid…

After hours of wandering and searching, he finally found her, the girl of his dreams. Myung Soo’s lucid dreams took up an all new color to it, he held his breath, grasped hard onto his wildly beating heart, pushed away all the childish desires and finally, finally, Kim Myung Soo entered the wonderful dreams of Bae Suji.

Kim Myung Soo couldn’t believe how she could be so incredibly beautiful even in her dreams.

He was in a hall, a massive auditorium, to be precise, among an equally massive pool of people of the aristocratic variety in rich attire and perfumes. He, himself, wore a dark tuxedo (In his or her dream) sitting among the pool of crowd, in the front seats to where the stage was so clearly, tangibly visible. The magnificence of the performing stage was decorated with lights and glitter, a massive red curtain was at the back, and before it stood a line of princesses, a line of beautiful young women, but outshining them all stood the girl of his dreams, smiling perpetually like a spring blossom in the morning dew. Myung Soo held his breath. How could anyone’s dream be so…breathtaking?

She surely was taking his breath away.

It was the semifinal round of her school’s talent search that she was dreaming of. He had no idea whether it was to come by or whether it was long gone, however, as it seemed, twelve contestants were to participate, and she was just one of them. He was there to cheer. Her round came, just as expected, and Myung Soo waited patiently…patiently…patiently as possible.

But he was melting with every second which passed.

She was in a gorgeous lace dress, its hem sweeping the ground, her long dark, straight hair fell gracefully down her shoulders and swayed the slightest whenever she moved, her eyes were shining brighter than a cluster of million stars under the neon lights, her lips formed into a slight smile, she trembled the slightest, anxiously. Myung Soo held his breath. Suji walked to the center of the stage.

Her voice trembled as she spoke, but for him, it was beyond mesmerizing…he thought of the slow tune of running water of a spring, when the silvery strings of it linger against the pads of lotus leaves, the blossom sways along…

Kim Myung Soo was the blossom, his heart swayed, even in his dreams, with every second as she spoke.

“Judges, honorable guests, madam principle, teachers and ladies and gentlemen at the occasion…I’m Bae Suji, and tonight I will be entertaining you all with John Newton’s amazing grace. I hope you will all enjoy”

The complete grand auditorium filled with a thunder storm of applauses. After giving his own cheer of applause, Myung Soo sat back and waited, his eyes only and only watching the princess of his dreams.

The music began.

Myung Soo was never a fan of classical music, yet, for some reason, the very piece that she sang tonight was one of his all-time favorites, and as the magnificent orchestral music began with a heartwarming sound of blow pipes, his heart was taken into a completely different dimension, and at that very moment, he knew, this was not just a dream, but a memory. A memory that she had either cherished…or feared.

And yes, of course! Kim Myung Soo just learned her name.

Bae Suji…Bae…Su…Ji. The sound of it was simply a lullaby in his heart.

She began to sing.

‘Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
was blind, but now I see’

Myung Soo could do nothing, absolutely nothing but hold his breath, not daring to blink once. A dream…how could he even believe that this was a dream? Good that he were a very lucid dreamer otherwise he would never be feeling all this for real. As he sat there, listening to an angel sing, he felt himself floating in the thin air. He thought of everything phenomenal that could possibly be compared to the marvel he was encountering now. He thought of cherry blossoms blooming in the morning dew, silvery rays of water flowing perpetually under the glimmering sunshine, the rush of wind on the golden beach, membranes of thick white clouds against the pastel blue sky, and the rain, the dew drops falling gracefully on greenery, but none, none of these could ever be compared to the existence of the glorious marvel of Bae Suji. For a moment, he thought he had died. He thought he had died and was taken away over the rainbow until…

…well until she stumbled upon her words.

Only the music played, her voice was heard no more, the hall took up with utter panic, and Myung Soo very much being Kim Myung Soo, panicked the most. Wordlessly he stared as humiliation reddened the impeccable beauty of Bae Suji.

She had failed, thus, what he was seeing was a brutal nightmare. A moment she feared.

Thus so, it was the moment for Kim Myung Soo to play his role. To be the prince of charms coming for her rescue, to be the glorious knight in shining armor who’d haul her up off her feet…

He abruptly stood up, trembling slightly in his dreams, yet conversely he was an idol-to-be. What was there that he had to fear?

Oh yes he had so many many things to fear…for an instance, he feared to fall in love…

…Which by now, he probably had.

He gathered all the courage that he could muster and began to sing.

‘The Lord has promised good to me,
His word my hope secures…
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures’

He could feel every single eye in the hall directed on him, the orchestra had silenced, and only his voice echoed in the realm like a softest rush of spring breeze. He wasn’t as superior as Woo Hyun or Leader Gyu in the singing department, but now, at this very moment, he had no other option but sing. He was, just as usual, just as he desired it, painting her dream, decorating it deliberately and diligently to hide away the darkness underneath. He was turning a nightmare into a wonderful reverie.

Collaborating to him, the orchestra began to play. Beautifully with eternal magnificence of the glory of classical music; Kim Myung Soo closed his eyes and sang…

And sang until her sweetest honey-le voice joined in.

He could have held his breath once more, but of course, this was a dream where he had the control, thus he didn’t stop, he sang along.

This, however, was the most beautiful, the most outstanding collaborated master piece of John Newton’s Amazing Grace that he had ever heard in his life.

In other words, this was the most beautiful dream that he had ever dreamed in his life.

And well…the dream didn’t take too long to shatter into disaster pieces, drastically destroyed, brutally ruined by the vicious dream killer…

…whoever it was who was calling out his name over and over and over again like a broken record, Myung Soo could swear that his head literally, literally exploded by the noise. Couldn’t he ever have a peaceful nap?

“Myung Soo…Myung Soo…Myung Soo…wake up…Myung Soo…”

Oh how disturbing!

“Myung Soo…Yah Myung-!”

He abruptly sat up, his head going in circles after travelling too long through dreams, he took minutes to finally compose himself and bring his eyes into focus only to be faced by the very annoying façade of Lee Sung Yeol. Never had he had such a superior impulse to smack his oh so beautiful face with a good fat block of wood, or even his skinny white fist for that matter. Lee Sung Yeol of all the people?

Where would his patience go?

“What the hell are you doing here?” He muttered through gritted teeth.

The older sat back with a distinct sigh. “I was checking on you…I thought you had died!”

He shook his head, exasperated. “Nonsense”

Sung Yeol laid a hand on his arm. “You tired?”

Myung Soo didn’t retort. Although he always had the fondness to know Lee Sung Yeol better and get closer to him, he had no idea how; thus every moment he’d even try getting closer to the latter, Myung Soo would feel radically irritated.

“Why are you here?” He asked after a while. Sung Yeol was up on his feet, smoothing down his thick short dark hair, Myung Soo straightened up and stretched his limbs, waiting for his reply.

“Sung Gyu Hyung sent me to check on you” He said and gave him a vicious smile. “He guessed you’d be napping like a log…I’m so going to tell on you…”

He widened his eyes and shot him a cold glare. He knew this Lee Sung Yeol wasn’t to be trusted, not a tiniest bit.

But to his utter surprise, Sung Yeol let out a soft chuckle and held out his long graceful hand towards him. “Just kidding…he didn’t send me”

“Then?” Myung Soo asked, still not giving in to take his hand. This once, Sung Yeol smiled, his smile easily reached his eyes, a set of impeccably placed teeth visible, and he felt a light tug in his heart. Lee Sung Yeol’s smile was nothing but heart-felting, genuine and real.

“I came on my own will”

Myung Soo grabbed hold of his hand, tight, which Sung Yeol pulled up, bringing him to stand up on his feet.

“What about Gyu Hyung?” Myung Soo asked, watching him as Sung Yeol walked to the stereo set to increase the volume. ‘Wings’ was on the play as he stripped off of his faded sweater.

“He forgot you…literally”

Myung Soo’s eyes widened mechanically. “Is that even possible?”

Sung Yeol nodded in reply. “He was tired to death and collapsed in the van…Fell asleep, I mean, and Howon Hyung had to take him piggy back…poor Hyung, he’s having a hard time…”

Myung Soo bit his lower lip, guilt over taking him. Had he been taking the leader’s words too lightly? Even so, he never intended to. He respected him beyond words, all of them did, but due to the swaying mind that he possessed, it was getting harder and harder to concentrate. Dreaming had basically sunken into his soul, becoming a part of his life, and a part of him that he couldn’t live without. Of only he could make him understand…Not that he couldn’t. It wasn’t that sort of a magical power that we find basically in children’s novels that disappears once its revealed; but even if he did, there just wouldn’t be a point to it, no positive consequences. Leader Gyu was someone who lived in the real, materialistic world, there was a clear certainty that he would never believe in such phenomena which went beyond limits of reality.

Myung Soo took hold of the bean bag which he was sleeping on and dragged it over to a side. When he returned, Sung Yeol was moving his limbs along the music flawlessly, well synchronized and Myung Soo couldn’t help but feel a tad bit jealous. Sung Yeol wasn’t the best-looking of them all, but he certainly was the tallest, and how gracefully his long hands and feet, even his torso, moved, any man couldn’t help but wish if he had them all.

Myung Soo cleared his throat, finally gathering his courage and called out;

“Sung Yeol Hyung!”

Sung Yeol paused on his moves, positioned in a witty formation, for a moment, he held the aura of a puppet. “Eh?”

Myung Soo took a deep breath. “Sung Yeol Hyung…would you…would you practice…with me?”

A genuine yet a massive smile crept over his lips. “Of course Kim Myung Soo…I’d love to…”

Myung Soo smiled in return, feeling the light tug at his heart again. It was a wonder, how this hateful person who constantly climbed up his nerves could make his heart swell with content, let alone lift a mass weight off his shoulders. For a moment, Myung Soo was genuinely thankful for Lee Sung Yeol who crept into the hall in the middle of his dreams.

Although he shattered them into million pieces…he could get back to that later on.

Sung Yeol increased the volume of the stereo and brought the music to the very beginning, to the intro and pressed pause.

“And Myung Soo?” He called out, positioning in the middle. “We’re only months apart…just call me Yeol”

Myung Soo smiled and pulled down the hood of his sweater. “Yeol…Just call me L”

And the two friends practiced all night long, making their swaying bond stronger. And finally when Myung Soo fell into a deepest slumber, returning to the dream land of Bae Suji, unknown to him, a new, real friendship was born, constantly tugging onto his restless heart.