The silence was inevitable.  I know, but I pretty much wanted that pregnant silence than a down right rejection. 

Hongbin's face wasn't hard to read, and I don't think he was trying to hide his face as he silently ponder about what he just heard from me; eyes wondering from me and down the floor. Hopefully, he heard me because I don't know if I'll be able to say it twice. It took me a lot to go this far, I'm probably not prepared to whip it out again just like that in one day. Hongbin doesn't even avoid my eyes, so I'm assuming he's contemplating on something like our friendship, much like I did at first half of this event. He's probably weighing probabilities inside his head on whether he'd want to stay in this friendship knowing how I feel, or he'll have to cut ties and then reject—

"You can look at my phone."

I blinked several times at him before taking the device out of my pocket with my slightly shaky hands. I didn't even question why is he giving me that permission and just swept the screen lock like programmed robot, only for his phone to reveal a passcode needed to be filled.

"Uh, there's a lock..." I mumbled quite confused. Was he messing up with me? Wait he looks embarrassed for a split second. Did he forgot he has one? What's happening here?

"4985," He swiftly replied, covering his mouth a bit and awkwardly clearing his throat. "Go to the gallery afterwards."

There's me following orders again but I held in a chortle because he's obviously embarrassed and it's cute, but I'm not in the position to say anything about that so casually right now. I quickly tapped in his phone and somehow something inside me gets a bit thrilled for an unknown reason. I know he's staring at the crown of my head while I try to locate the gallery, so I tried to find out what's there to see.

I scrolled through the screen, once, twice and besides some pictures being filtered multiple times for some effect, it really is 'my' pictures. They were candid shots of me, in the hall way, working at my desk and mostly with our group of friends. He even had a photo of me bickering with Kyungsoo from yesterday, with bonus Suho hyung's affectionate eyes on that owl caught behind the lenses.

"So... what do you think?" Hongbin asks in a careful tone. 

I almost stammered getting too caught up with those photos but regain myself eventually, thinking of something witty and out of my own normalcy can come up with."That you're quite a stalker." 

"Admirer." he corrected nonchalantly. 

"What?" My eyes didn't take long to find his, to ask what he meant by that in silence. Not that I don't know what it means but at this point, it's not a good time to use misleading words like that. Unless he really feels something similar.

He seems to pick up my silent question eventually, clearing his throat again as he sat on the desk behind him and looked up at the ceiling.

"Ahh... I was going to say this to you eventually but I couldn't find the right time," he started, sounding a bit shy. "Jaehwan and I, picked this university for a reason—"

"And yours is?" I asked quite impatiently, not meaning to dismiss an information about his cousin coldly. I just don't need him to beat around the bush when the word 'admirer' is playing inside my heart strings.

He looks a bit startled with that but locks eyes with me. "I wanted to meet the ten year old kid who gave out the best valedictorian speech in person. The same kid who talked about the bullying he had to go through from the stealing incident he was framed of doing by one of his classmates—I wanted to meet you. "

"W-were you there?" 

I was shocked hearing that from him. It's been years since that incident happen although it did got around the news, thanks for my uncle who recorded all that as it went viral and was soon part of the news. I had my dad help me take it out eventually although it's already late. It eventually died anyway as my parents respected my decision to not say anything about it. 

"I wish I was, that will be nice." Hongbin smiles genuinely at the thought and it made my heart pummel against my chest, extra hard. 

"So yeah, I came here to meet you and I did. Turns out you're still as amazing as that kid, if not more, and I admired that consistency—and you."

I'm pretty sure my cheeks are on fire right now and I'm not sure how to conclude things that I'm hearing but a part of me has been fueled by those words.

"I admire you too... a lot." 

"I know now," he gives me half a smile and frown. "But... I don't think I admire you the same way as you do—well not now. You're a loveable kid though and I'm sure everyone knows that now, so don't get me wrong. I just... I'm not sure with this."

He points at the gap between us and all the butterflies inside my stomach died. 

"I see." I muttered quietly, not knowing what else to say. It was my turn to look up at the ceiling, avoiding eye contact with him as I focus on evening out my heartbeat. 

"Look I'm not saying..." Hongbin hesitates and I clenched the edge of the table I started to lean on. My eyes had casted down to see the mop of his hair. "I'm not saying, I may not end up being in your situation right now. I'm not stupid to just ignore my means of meeting you and taking your photos when I know you're not aware of it, but I need time to think this over, just like how you needed yours. I'm not a veteran on this field either..."

"Are you asking me to wait? I averted my gaze back to him and he meets mine expectantly.

"I'm not asking you to, but I'm not stopping you either. As long as it won't jeopardize our friendship again—" he looks down for a second before looking at me again. "—and as long as you're going to be alright while waiting for me."

"I'll wait then." I said firmly. My heartbeat doesn't fluctuate now and I felt a bit calm hearing that from him. I'd be lying if I didn't see some sort of light under the tunnel but I can hope for it. Right? 

The thought of waiting for him may be a double edge sword but I'm left with reasonable information to hope for the best, so I can just take a leap of faith or something. 

"You're looking dumb right now." Hongbin raises an eyebrow, and trying to look stern although his left dimple had long betrayed him. 

"You too." a bite back a chuckle.

"So... wanna go grab something?" Hongbin eventually asked after a moment of silence. 

"Didn't you eat?"

"I had to follow my idiot cousin here, make sure he didn't kill himself on the road."

"Are you sure he's older than you?"

"I don't know, I might have to check his birth certificate again."

Hongbin let out a chuckle and I finally did too, and feels great. 

"Come on, let's go grab a bite. Your treat."

"Oh, should I check on your birth certificate too, hyung? I believe I'm younger than you and it kinda shows." 

Hongbin hits me on the shoulder and dragged me out of the club room, while our normal conversation ensues after what seemed like forever. It felt like we left our worries in that club room and we're just back to normal. 

TBC

*cough KEo... in festival update.*