I've been warned several times by my teachers and my older friends that my senior year of highschool would be difficult, a nightmare that you just want to end as fast as possible. Sometimes I wish I could've been studying in some other country where everybody has a bit of free time and aren't under pressure 24/7.

It's now late April, the cold winds from the winter are going away, the ice as melted a while ago and the sun has been shining like it hasn't since last year. Little flowers are starting to blossom here and there and everybody has packed away those big, stifling coats and sweaters.

After months of depressing weather and depressed faces, I can see smiles on a few of the other student faces as I make my way to school every morning.

Today I'm not one of those happy bubbly students.

Even though not even two months have passed since school started, all the stress and the peer pressure is already getting to me.

Wake up at some ungodly hour in the morning, go to school, study, study, study, and then lunch time finally arrives. Just take a little break from all the books and note to realize that after that short lived rest its time to go back to that monotone stuffy room, filled with other little adults like me, for hours on end.

Many of us will still go to some academy later, usually English, science or math, so we can study a little more and be sure that our future will be as well structured as our parents imagined.

I grab my uniform jacket and cross my arms in a futile attempt to warm my lanky body while waiting for the bus. Thinking about the day that comes ahead is bad enough to give me chills, and this early morning chilly weather doesn't help much.

While many students here in Seoul are quite glad that their parents can provide them with such great and demanding education I'm one of those unlucky ones that even though I have a great family and they give me all that they can afford so I will have a great future, I still feel like I'm not enjoying my life, being a puppet ruled by other’s opinions and wants. I'm a bit of a failure to them and my sister, not cramming like others and being under the average.
Living in such a big city where everybody wants to be the best, the richest or the most popular can have its downsides...

I'm woken up and taken away from my self pitying day dream by a couple bumps and people passing by me. Looking up I see the reason for this fuss. A couple of busses have arrived, one of them the transport that will take me to school.

I advance and swiftly and get myself in the small queue. I check my phone, 7.03am, right on time. I pass my wallet by the ticket machine and hear the double beep telling me that the 720won have been deducted from my card.

Maybe I should recharge the card later...

As the bus starts I am woken up from my small worries again and quickly grab the nearest pole in the packed bus, preparing myself for the short boring journey.

A few minutes later, as I look outside the window at the bustling road full of cars and other buses I feel something on my hand vibrate. Looking at my cellphone again while trying to maintain my poor balance I see the popup telling me that a message as arrived. I don't even look at the sender and just open it.

"Hey ChanChan, I'm sick today ㅠ.ㅠ so please tell our teachers that I wont be going and please take some notes and grab the homework for me.

I know you'r feelin down lately . Dont give up!! Hwaiting ㅈwㅈ

Chen Chen~"

Chen's happiness gives me a small smile in this not so great morning. He is one of my best friends and the best making me smile. I'm dreading this day a bit more knowing that I'll have to go by my classes alone.

I type a simple reply and pack the gadget on my pants pocket.

As bad as it may sound I wish I would be sick too so I could miss just even a day of school and get a little break. As quick as that idea appears it is dismissed.

My parents would make me pop a few pills and get on with my daily routine as if nothing was wrong. Getting your head bombarded with new subjects while sick would be even worse.

I hear a small frenzy behind me and looking outside I can see my school coming up. I pass my buscard once again and leave the bus passing through the gates and making my way through the sports field in front of the huge hellish building called school.

Across the field I see a few students running with heavy backpacks and some books on their hands. Probably seniors like me, worried about their grades and trying to give a good impression to their home teacher by arriving early and presenting extra projects.

Not so much like me...

Although my sister and some of my older school friends have entered prestigious universities and graduated high school with some of the best grades in the entire school I'm just an average student.

I don't even have the desire to go to a great University and work in a great, internationally know company.

Why? After finally leaving school and studying for hours and hours everyday, going to an office and not enjoy the outside world again is not my thing.

"hehehe" just thinking about myself in a suit makes me laugh a bit and get some weird looks. I certainly prefer to be slightly less wealthy but live and enjoyable life than that, any day.

Entering the classroom I see several other students sitting there already. Some diligently studying and others sleeping with their books open and their heads resting over them.

As always nobody interrupts their activities to greet the coming student and so I just quietly sit down in my seat beside the window.

For a while I don’t even bother taking out my books and just stare at nowhere but eventually , as the rest of the my colleagues arrive and get ready I also take them out and turn of my phone. After the teacher arriving I just zoom out for the rest of the class,  looking out the window.-

Today is such a pretty day. The sun is slowly going up and everything is looking brighter as the hours pass. Some birds are flying around and singing harmonious melodies. I start thinking about a few of my favorite guitar pieces and how much I feel like playing again. Since this school year has started I haven't been paying much attention to my beloved instrument. Sometimes on the weekend I'm able to enjoy playing a couple songs but that is usually until my parents hear me and tell me to go back to my studies.

I shake my head to try and rid my head of these depressing thoughts and look at my teacher.

I almost jump out of my seat when my eyes meet his angry stare directed right at me .

"Park Chanyeol, I assume this class must be boring to you. Pay attention like your fellow colleagues, and try studying more for this year’s exams. If you continue like this I don't see you entering university this year. Turn your page and hurry up with those exercises."
 

I nod my head and turn the page. Looking at the clock I see that there are only a few minutes to go until lunch break so I don't even bother trying to fill up any of said exercises and just draw random things on the notebook.

The bell rings and noise can be heard everywhere. Inside the classroom people are talking to each other loudly and picking their stuff so they can escape to the top floor lunchroom. Outside, other like us young people march all with the same destination, some laughing or talking.

Like me, a couple stay inside the classroom. Without Chen I don't feel like going through all the noise and mess just to get lunch, much less be all alone in the huge area full of little groups of students judging each other all alone like a creepy loner. Today I'll just stay here.

And I stare outside again...





 

So hey there, dear readers ^^
What did you think about the first part? 
I decided to seperate this one shot into two diferent parts, it was quite big to be only in one chapter... I know this part was kinda angsty but do not worry, fluffy, cuter times are about to come.
Next chappie is gonna slightly longer than this one (about 2K) and its going to be uploaded later this weekend or Monday, because I have my TOPIK exam tomorrow (still have to study T_T) and dance practice on Sunday.
And now.. I'll go burry myself in books, vocab lists and topik exams
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I hope you liked it!