Sungyeol doesn’t really know what to do anymore.

He misses Myungsoo on the weekends, when they don’t get to see each other at school, but he doesn’t understand why. Why was he torturing himself? Why was he going to make himself go through this all over again?

He doesn’t think that he likes Myungsoo, and sometimes he has to repeat it to himself. He doesn’t like Myungsoo, and there’s no way that he could ever like him. There was no way this their relationship could ever work out. There was no way that their relationship could even happen. 

Myungsoo wasn’t his type. Sungyeol knew the kind of guys he liked, maybe. Was it because he didn’t have anyone to like at the moment? Was it just his heart looking for someone to set its eyes on? Was he just bored and needed another way to hurt himself?

Why does he keep staring at Myungsoo during class? Why does he keep stealing glances at Myungsoo, feeling his heart beat just a little faster when Myungsoo’s eyes meet his every once in a while? Does Sungyeol really like Myungsoo? When their eyes meet, just for that one second before Sungyeol feels like he got caught and looks away quickly, Sungyeol hopes, just really hopes, that maybe Myungsoo likes him back. But does Sungyeol really like Myungsoo in the first place?

Myungsoo was so kind. Why hadn’t Sungyeol noticed him last year? Why did it take a whole year and almost every class together for Sungyeol to realize what a kind friend Myungsoo was? Now, it was a bit too late. Myungsoo has his close friends, and there’s really no way for Sungyeol to try and squeeze his way through, because Sungyeol doesn’t think he’s pretty and he doesn’t think that Myungsoo would ever want to talk to him one-on-one unless he was nice to look at or incredibly funny.

Sungyeol was never popular. He was never someone that people looked at and immediately liked. He was just average. He was somebody that no one knew unless they actually paid attention in class, and sometimes they don’t even notice him then. He wasn’t memorable, and maybe that was why he led himself to believe that he and Myungsoo would never work out.

Does he like Myungsoo? Sungyeol wasn’t sure anymore, but he knew that if he did like Myungsoo, then he hopes that he stops, because he doesn’t want to hurt himself any longer.

Because Sungyeol knew that Myungsoo liked Sunggyu, and the moment that Sungyeol started to show that he liked Myungsoo, Myungsoo started to avoid him. He could see the way Myungsoo leaves his group of friends after school to go talk to Sunggyu and his friends, and Sungyeol noticed the little things that Myungsoo does for Sunggyu that he thinks Sunggyu takes for granted. Sungyeol knew that Myungsoo liked Sunggyu, and he felt terrible for hoping that Sunggyu didn’t like Myungsoo back.