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Dear Baekhyun,

What is regret? I always wonder what it really feels like. I can’t really define it, because, maybe, even for a little bit… I’m always regretful about things. That’s quite sad, considering all that I have been through. Just a thought. I don’t want to trouble you with anything deep anymore, but I keep wondering. It’s the same with happiness. I can’t define what it feels like or confirm whether I have actually experienced it. Strange, right? We all know what sadness feels like, all too well, but I can’t seem to find a proper describable state of happiness.

I’m sure you are not well. But like you said, if you think that this is not important, then so be it. I don’t want to trouble you with anything. We are both liars.

I had a really strange dream last night and it reminded me of you in a way. Don’t think I’m weird, but this is how it went:

Imagine a blue forest with tall, but eerie trees. At first they seem like trees, but when you look at them closely, they’re just big, huge Dandelions. Beautiful dandelions. They reach high above us all, caressing the purple skies, facing two suns, absorbing as much energy as possible. They have various colors, but all within a blue range. I like them, yet I am not a being of my own. I am just present, but almost absent.

There are fireflies and songs of