“I know how it feels when people look right through you, or worse, see you as something or someone other than what you are”... the phrase ran through my head often. I took a deep breath as I sat lifelessly in class, staring out the window through the corners of my eyes.

The girl behind me pokes me, and pulls on strands of my long, black stringy hair. The guy sitting next to me sits as far away from me as he can. This used to bother me, but not anymore. I don't have the energy to care anymore.

I wasn't like this before. No one was. No one wants to be cut off from others; no one wants to feel that they're not important. Unfortunately, life makes some unlucky souls, like me, feel that way. It started when my parents abandoned me when I was barely old enough to understand what was going on. Eventually, a social service worker found me and sent me to a second hell—the orphanage.

Days pass by where families find children to adopt; children who had no recollection of their parents, children who were excited and show they wanted to be taken by new parents. Those days didn't come for me, not for a long time. When I entered the orphanage, everyone was mean to me. Already, I was exposed to a form of bullying. Still to this day, I don't know why they disliked me, but they did.

Attending school, while still at the orphanage, wasn't any better at all. I made very little friends...or should I call them acquaintances? People judged me from the way I looked: pale, ghostly, lifeless and frightening. Yet, many of the girls had the audacity to physically and mentally bully me from time to time.

I was finally adopted when I was 11 years old. Already gone through and still experiencing my sadness from bullying, that family took care of me well enough. There wasn't a lot of love given, but they supported me and they talked to me. It was nice, I suppose.

I didn't want my life to be like this at all. I wanted to be normal and loved. I wanted to show them I'm not really the person they see. But they looked right through me, like I'm transparent and nothing but my exterior. Like I wasn't a person and I was empty on the inside.

A teardrop rolled down my eyes and plopped onto my notebook, staining the ink at that spot. I promptly wiped my eyes with my sleeve, pretending my eyes were just itchy. I brushed my hair out of reach of the girl behind me and scooted more forward.

Even though I said these actions didn't really bother me anymore, it still hurt in away.

This was the last class of the day, and when the teacher left the classroom, I let a sigh out, both of relief and worry. I was relieved I made it through another day of class, but I was worried and bracing myself to try to get home safely. In my 2^nd year of high school, people still found it fun to joke around with me.

Just as I was about to exit the classroom, three girls who I was notoriously fond of, blocked my way arrogantly. “Going home already?”

One of the other girls spat, “I thought you clean the classroom, first.”


I was going to push through them and ignore them, but they were feeling extra special today. As I pushed, the main girl pushed me back and pulled my chin to her, “You can't skip out today, .”


I slapped her hand away and glared at her. They were the ones who weren't afraid of me. It was the opposite in fact, I was pretty scared of them. They could actually do damage to a person.

 

“Go,” one of them cackled. “So when we come here tomorrow morning, I can learn better.”

“Yeah, it's not like you need to learn anything right?”

I looked at them angrily. The main girl pulled my blazer and the two others giggled evilly, pulling and playing with my hair. “You spent so much time trying to look pretty. You're not.”

I sighed and tried pushing, but they just kept teasing. One of the girls pinched my nose hard, making me twitch.

“You should get plastic for your nose,” she said. “You'd look at least like a decent girl. Maybe enlarge your eyes while you're at it.”

The three laughed evilly while they messed around with my face.

“Why don't you ever say anything? Do you like what we're doing?”


I mumbled, “Not worth my breath.”

The main girl's eyes bulged, “Yah you ! What did we even do wrong? Did we hurt you? Did we force you to do something?”


I looked away from them, not even answering their question.

“Lee Inhee, you're stupid! No one likes you! You should just go ki—”

A strong force tore me away from the girls, and before I could think of what was happening, I saw a relatively tall boy in between us. I looked at his backside: jet black hair with slicked points, simple black hoodie, blue jeans and Adidas sneakers. He looked familiar enough, I probably seen him around.

“H-Hoseok oppa...” main shrunk in surprise.

“What are you doing?” he asked in a cold manner.

“We...we're just talking...”


“Uh-huh, sure,” he didn't believe a thing. “Just leave.”

They scrambled out of there as fast they could, leaving just the two of us now. Hoseok turned around and looked at me. He had a thin face and an interesting smile. But, why was he smiling?

“You're okay now,” he said. “Oh, I'm Jung Hoseok, by the way.”


I shook the hand that was extended to me and replied, “Lee Inhee.”

“Thank you,” I also said, before walking past him without saying anything else.

“Wait,” he chased after me. “I'll walk you home.”


I pretended like I wasn't listening to him and kept walking. I wasn't sure if he was the good Samaritan type or just there to annoy me. Nevertheless, I didn't know him and I had grown a hard heart against people.

“You there?” he asked again. He put one hand on my shoulder, and I flicked glaring eyes to him. “S-sorry.”

 

He walked besides me all the way home. Well, almost. I stopped at a random gate and looked at him, acting like it was mines. “It's not here, right?” he laughed.

I nodded, but apparently that was a stupid choice.

“This is my house,” he said.

I choked on my saliva and started coughing uncontrollably, making Hoseok start panicking. Whipping out his water bottle, he handed it to me to drink. Once I started calming down, I realized what I had done. I clearly showed the fact I didn't trust him.

“It's okay if you didn't want me to walk you home,” he said, taking his water bottle back. “You could've just told me.”

I looked into his eyes; it looked hurt. Definitely hurt.

“I'm sorry...” I said. “I can manage going home...”

He nodded and said, “Okay. I'll leave then, alright?” With that he entered his house, the one I tried to play off as mines, and left me alone again.

For once, I felt bad for being alone.

The next day went like yesterday, except the three girls weren't saying anything to me. They masterfully managed to bump into my shoulders hard whenever they were near, but other than that, they didn't do anything else. It was strange, but I guess it didn't matter. When lunch time came, I always sat away from the crowd. It was easier to sit alone than to suffer the judging awkwardness of so many peers.

“May I?” someone stood in front of me, a tray full of food.

I looked and saw it was Hoseok, grinning widely like as if everyone wouldn't see he was asking the creepy loner girl to sit with.

I just stared back at my tray and picked on kimchi, “Suit yourself. Don't get me involved with your business, though.”


He excitedly placed his tray on the table and started eating. There was just silence, and even though I was used to silence, it felt awkward for me to stare at him every once in a while.

Because as much I hated people, Hoseok wasn't hate-able to me.

“You don't like sweet potatoes?” he asked.

I looked at my tray's corner filled with untouched orange vegetable. I shook my head slowly; I had realized I never really tried it. It never looked appetizing. I took a piece and meticulously took a small bite.

Hoseok looked at me in wonder, “ I thought you said you didn't like it.”

It was delicious, actually. Slightly warm, meltingly soft and subtly sweet, I saw Hoseok's chopsticks making it's way to my pile and I snapped his chopsticks with mines, stopping him. Seeing my action, he burst out laughing and I watched his eyes curve into small crescents. Into the mood, I ended up smiling a little along with him.

“Ah, you smiled!” he pointed, recovering from his laugh.

“Stop,” I said, stuffing a cube of sweet potato into my mouth.

“Give me one,” he said. “I ate all of mines.” He pouted and gave amusing sad eyes, but I only looked at him weirdly.

“No,” I said, as I stared at my tray.

“Pleeeaaaaseee~” he begged. “I'll walk you home again~ Or halfway, I mean~”

“Is that supposed to be an incentive?” I raised an eyebrow.

He simply grinned, “I'll give you uhh—”

Hoseok was appalled when he felt my chopsticks push a sweet potato in his mouth. I looked at this eyes without an expression, hoping that he didn't think I acted weirdly. Oh, but wait, when did I care about how people thought about me?

“Thenk kyu,” he said while happily munching on the free potato.

We continued to eat in silence then for a while before he started talking again. “What do you like to do?” he asked.

“Nothing.”



Pouting, he replied, “Oh, come on.”

I lowered my head, my long hair and bangs covering my face as I stared at my clenched fists on my lap. There was nothing I liked to do. Nothing I was good at. The more I thought about it, the more pathetic I found my life was. What else was there to do? At home, I ate, did homework, study, slept. There wasn't room for anything else...

I felt Hoseok glance at me from under my hair, his fingers lifting a section up like a curtain. “You okay?”

Without thinking, I smacked his hand away, causing him to flinch back. With my hair covering my face again, I could feel my cheeks burning up. He did things so...unpredictably and abruptly, I didn't have the time to think before reacting. I didn't want to look up and face him; I probably hurt his feelings again.

“Sorry, Inhee-ah,” he said calmly. “I should have known you wouldn't want to be touched.”


“Don't say it like that...” I sighed. I picked my chopsticks up again and stuffed food into my mouth, all while covering my face.

“Is there really nothing you like to do?” he asked once more. He laid crossed arms on the lunch table and rested his head on top of his arms, tilting so that he could see me.

“You have nice eyes,” he complimented, smiling. He saw them when I glared at him from under my bangs, and being flustered, I turned my head away quickly.

“I'm boring,” I said, answering his previous question. “I don't do anything, okay.”


“What, do you just sleep?” he said.

“Sure,” I agreed just to agree.

“That's still what you like to do then,” he laughed. “I like sleeping, too. I don't get to have a good night's sleep very often though because—”

Eventually, Hoseok's ramble sounded like the rest of the lunchroom: just blurbs and sounds coming out of a mouth that was moving at the same time. My mind just focused on Hoseok, and the type of person he was. He commended my sleeping habits? He said that that was what I liked to do? He was the type of person who actually saw things as they were. Even I didn't realize it until now, that even after all the studying, sleeping was at least something I could enjoy.

Anyone else would have just said “Oh.” and moved on with their lives. But...but Hoseok recognized this as a part of me. And he laughed about it and treated me like a...friend.

“Hello?” I found two hands waving in front of me. I blinked at looked at Hoseok who seemed happy I was on earth again.

“Why?” I asked. “Why do you think that sleeping is something I like to do?”

He tilted his head in confusion. “Well...sleeping is nice, isn't it? You said you sleep a lot, so I just thought...it's something you like to do. I mean, everyone has their own likes and dislikes.”


Yeah, everyone does. Hoseok, however, is the first person to see that from me. To him, I wasn't just a scary silent girl who seemed to have come straight from a horror movie. To him, I wasn't a girl who can be easily played around with.

 

No, for the first time in my life, a person, who I barely even know, sees me as a person.

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//applauds for first chapter yayayayayyyy. i love hoseok he's so adorable i really like writing his character

but also inhee's character just becauseeee.

please comment & sub & upvote?? c: i'll create a story poster for this soon enough l o l