(Just a note: Most of the italics in the text indicate the thoughts of Minyoung)

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Sometimes the people who had been there with us all along were the ones we should have noticed, but when we do realise it, it’s already too late. They’re the ones you’ve shared the most with, the ones that you knew the most about, and yet all this time, you have been off trying to chase the things that you don’t have; the people that you’ll never have a chance with. And well when you miss the timing and the chance… all you can do is think back on all the things you did wrong.

Last Year

~Naega nungama gidohan i sungani~

My alarm sang softly, as I groaned and grabbed my phone roughly. I should really stop being so damn rough with my phone, it’s dying because of me, I thought. But why is it so heartless to wake me up! Can’t it see me sleeping peacefully?!?

Although I did consider myself as a nice girl, I wasn’t attractive or social. I also had a habit of blaming everything around me on the things I did wrong, just to make myself feel better. I’m a pretty terrible person, aren’t I?

I slid out of bed and slowly dragged my feet toward the bathroom. Why… is it… so… far away, I thought to myself, but eventually after quickening by pace I stepped into the view of the mirror and stared at my figure. “OH MY GOD!” I nearly jumped back when I saw my reflection. Well, that did help wake me up at least, I suppose.

I was in an unimaginable state. My hair was messed up and all over my face (which may explain why I scared myself, as I have long, dark hair sprawled over my pale face) and if I had stepped out of the house looking like this, I swear someone would've called the police thinking I was some mad woman on a rampage. And for this to happen on this day too… Today, our grade was holding a “Social Day”, where we were combining with the boys school for classes. To be honest, I did not care much about these things because I stopped trying to change myself just to fit in; I couldn’t make friends with the boys very well anyway. But who would want to look like a mad woman when they’re about to meet so many boys for the first time??

I looked at the clock and panicked. I knew I shouldn’t have taken so long to wake up and walk to the bathroom. I swear just walking here took me a few minutes. I sighed and began to clean up my face and fix my hair, getting ready for the day ahead.
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I ran to school somehow in my usual state and appearance, despite the fact that I was running late by nearly 15 minutes. My phone wouldn’t stop ringing, but frankly I did not want to pick up. Mr Lee had warned that if we were even one single minute late to school on this day, we would be left behind AND we would get into big trouble. By him. And no one in this school dared to enrage Mr Lee about ANYTHING. Since I assumed my friends were calling me for this reason, I seriously did not want to hear what my fate would be under the hands of Mr Lee.

I walked sheepishly into the school office and reported my lateness, while the office lady squinted her eyes suspiciously at me. She sighed while filling in some late notes for me, which startled me a little. Was she…. disappointed in me? Who is she to judge! I said irritatingly in my mind, but of course I tried not to show my annoyance to keep my image as a good student. “Girls from this school sure love hanging out with the boys in the mornings don’t they?” she said under her breath.

I was taken aback slightly, but found her remark amusing. “Excuse me, are you talking about me?” I said with a slight laugh, making sure she didn’t take that remark to offence. “Yes, frankly you look like you just did something with your boyfriend,” she snickered, pointing out at the dishevelled state of my hair and the pinkness of my cheeks, “were you not?”

“NO! I mean, I- this morning- I meant-“, I said frantically, stuttering all over the place. Now it looks like I’m trying to cover up something. She looked up at me anticipatingly with an amused expression. I mentally face-palmed myself and took a deep breath to calm myself down. “I meant I just slept in this morning, and I had to run all the way just to get here on time," she shook her head at my defence and I suddenly realised that I never made it on time anyway. "I mean I’m still late, but you get the point,” finally relieved that I was able to destroy all loopholes in my argument (which was true anyway, to my defence) without her thinking I was some rebel teenage girl who skipped school just to “do stuff” with her boyfriend in the mornings.

“Araseo, araseo,” she said while finishing the late notes and handing them to me, “now you just have to quickly walk down to the boys school, they haven’t gone far yet so you may catch them on the way.”

I thanked the office lady with a bow, wished her a good day, and walked hurriedly out. Following her advice, I walked as quickly as I could in hope that I could join them while they were walking there, and not have to die of embarrassment joining them halfway through the classes. Unfortunately (or fortunately, as it got me some attention at least), I was being the typical clumsy and embarrassing Minyoung that I was and (even more embarrassingly than being scolded by Mr Lee in front of a few other teachers after being late), I ran into the first PE class shouting "I'm here!" like a fool, as if I was seeking attention from the boys. My friends all laughed hysterically at the back while I pouted angrily at them, causing my face to flush red. While the teacher was trying to figure out who I was on the class roll, I spotted a few boys laughing quietly while whispering to each other. I bet they’re laughing because I run weird. Well, way to go Minyoung, embarrassing yourself in front of the boys before you even got to meet any of them.

I sighed as I sat down beside my friends, the class beginning to quiet down for the teacher to explain the next game. The next game involved basketball and running, and the two teams were split up so that there were an even amount of boys and girls on each team. Even though some people did groan initially, the teacher shushed us all up by winking and saying that this was to “encourage friendly cross-gender interaction”. Now that was one weird teacher.

The thought of playing basketball AND running threatened to knock me out, as these two sports were basically my weakest, after swimming and soccer and cricket… well I was basically not a sports person at all. As we sorted ourselves out into teams, the teacher made us all handshake with a person we had not met before, so the boy next to me and I eyed each other awkwardly as he extended his hand out. It seems that this boy was quiet friendly and he was quite outgoing after all.

“Hi, my name is Jongdae! Nice to meet you!”

I smiled at him and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, I’m Minyoung.”
He smiled back and we released our hands, awkwardly staring away from each other. He sensed that I wasn’t much of an outgoing girl, so he tried to initiate conversation. He was a nice boy I suppose.

“So how’s it going?” Jongdae asked, with a slight hint of amusement in his voice as he tipped his head at me. He probably knew that what he said was slightly random, but I answered plainly nonetheless. Thank God that at that moment, the teacher whistled and told us that the game was starting.

I dreaded this moment. I was next in line to shoot the ball and frankly… I did not know how to shoot properly in basketball. Surprisingly, many of the boys before me had also missed, and I guess they weren’t much of basketball players either. Before this, I had imagined all boys to be basketball players. I guess I was wrong. “Minyoung, pay attention!” the teacher shouted as he threw the ball at me. Ah, this frustrating teacher, has he not embarrassed me enough!

I concentrated as much as I could, and I shot the ball out. Surprisingly, it hit the backboard and managed to scoop in. “Yes!” I muttered under my breath as I heard Jongdae mutter a ‘woah’ behind me. Proud of my suprising inner basketball shooting talent, I ran to the back of the line, awaiting my next turn.

The next time, I shot with the same concentration I had last time, and this time it managed to scoop in easier than the last. “Wow, basketball prodigy!” Jongdae said with a laugh behind me, as I turned back and laughed slightly with him. I guess he’s a bit of a teaser, and a troll (A/N: hahahaha exo reference). I smiled to myself.

The game ended after a few more turns, and I was happy with how I did. Jongdae put a hand up to high five me, and so I responded. I guess I made one friend today at least, which was slightly surprising BUT was also unsurprising at the same time, because I became friends with him not because of a magnificently joyous conversation with him but because of my unlikely basketball shooting skills. Once I open my mouth, I melt into a squishy jelly puddle and I embarrass myself again. And no one would be willing to become friends with someone like that, right?

I guess not. That was what I thought until we switched teams and the teacher made us handshake with someone different. And this boy... he looked a little shy. His friends edged him on, but he glanced up at my eyes slightly and just extended his hand stiffly, earning a few laughs and giggles at the back from his friends. “Hi… My- my name is Kyung Soo. Do Kyung Soo.”

At that time I thought he was just another boy. Maybe even a boy who was a little like me; a little awkward, but still willing to give a try at unlikely friendships with people we’ve never met. “Do Kyung Soo…” I nodded my head and made a mental note to remember that name. I stuck out my hand and shook his, with more confidence than previous handshakes. “Hi, call me Minyoung!”

I smiled casually at him, and his lips curved slightly into a smile too. He looked so afraid of me before, but I guess he's opened up a little, I thought happily, but he probably only looked scared because of his wide eyes.

I laughed a bit while releasing our hands that were still bobbing up and down from the handshaking, and he pulled away too, embarrassed that he was just staring all this while. Rubbing his neck shyly, he moved to the back of the line after the teacher blew the whistle for the next game. I stole a last sideward glance at him as I moved forward in line. ‘He isn’t the best looking of boys, but I guess he’s alright,’ I smiled to myself, ‘Quite cute might I add’. His head turned to my direction as if he too, wanted to steal one last glance at me and his eyes met mine. He looked slightly shocked, his eyes looking as if they might pop out any minute, before he turned back with his head down, too embarrassed to look up. I controlled my laughter as I did not want to embarrass him further, but I felt as if tears could’ve rolled out of my eyes. He was so cute.

Later on though, during a different sports game, he won the relay for our team after overtaking the last runner of the other team. So I guess he does have a cool side to him. He did sit out for the rest of the games though, after a serious-looking conversation with the teacher. Even though I was curious as to what had happened, I did not want to ask in case there were some things he did not want to reveal. But nonetheless, this was how my friendship with Kyung Soo began, and thinking back on those memories now – it makes me realise how much I’ve missed him.

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