"There are some things that can only be seen upside down. If you start seeing things in your life in different perspectives, you may find that things are not how they seem to be. Instead, things could be so much better."

The air seemed strangely inviting today. This was the first morning I woke up feeling fine after it happened, as I had spent many days thinking over and under it all. I stared down at my thin pink phone. No messages, as usual. I knew that this was the day to forget everything; to start over, but even my phone held memories of him, so fragile that I feared letting go, in case of the cracks that I would leave behind.

Frustrated at filling my mind full of him again, I sat up abruptly on my bed, causing my back to crack slightly. And now I am even breaking my body because of him. I have used this tactic too many times: trying to fault him for all my pain and frustration when it wasn’t even his fault in the first place, in my attempts to erase him out of my memory and life. Of course it never worked.

I slowly dragged my legs over my bed and dangled them over the side of my bed, and tossed my pink phone into my blankets. A vibrate immediately followed with its soft thump onto my bed, and I nearly jumped from the sudden sound. Picking up my phone with no anticipation, I squinted at the message. Of course it wasn’t him.

I moaned in frustration and decided to leave this till I returned home from school later this afternoon. The last thing I wanted was to have all these thoughts in my mind all through my maths test.

After School at the Station

Nice girls finish last. Has anyone ever told you that? Well I’m here to tell you that it’s true – it has been, and it always will be. This was what I had finally realised over this past year. “Baekhyun…” I thought as memories crept slowly into my head of the events of the previous year. I guess I wasn’t special enough. Or maybe…

I suddenly felt a strong tap at my shoulder. Slightly in awe from the sudden contact, I paused for a few seconds before looking around me. At this point I was already expecting to turn and see a friend with a cheeky smile, satisfied that I had been tricked, but I couldn’t see any of that. They were all furiously chatting away about their holiday plans or typing on their phones to search the new song that had been leaked on the net. I couldn’t help but think they were pretending, but I checked the last possible spot someone could be hiding… behind the pole.

I arched my back backwards and turned my head to glance over the pole but almost immediately inclined forward at the sight of that person ten meters down on the platform. “Ouch…” I said softly while rubbing my back, wanting to catch the sight of that person down at the platform again, but I was too scared to. What if… what if…

I lost my trail of thoughts as the train pulled over to a stop in front of me. I was lost in all those memories that had filled my mind day in day out for the past few months. All of them started playing in my head as if someone had just switched play on a video tape inside my brain-sized television screen. I closed my eyes, and took it back to when it all started. This was the day.

The Beginning

It was last year when it all began, when I didn’t even know that anything was even beginning for me. It was just normal everyday life for me, but who knew it could all unravel to this.

Ever since forgetting about Sungjae, funnily enough I had wanted to find someone else better to chase after, I guess to lift my boredom. Youth is all about socialising after all right? Well for all except me, the only unsocial butterfly amidst them all.

Musical… I walked up to a school notice stuck upside down on the school fence. “Who would even be so dumb to do that?” I said quietly under my breath and pulled the notice off, reading through the content of the notice before sticking it the right way up.

It was the annual school musical next week and my friend was starring in it. I rummaged through my mental planner in my mind and managed to squeeze “watching the musical” into the June 1st Entry. Feeling satisfied, I continued walking into the school, passing a slightly chubby boy from the boys school who happened to be posting up more musical posters. “It’s to catch your attention,” he muttered under his breath.

Or at least that’s what I thought he said. I looked at him and wondered if he was even talking to me, not that there was anyone around me at that moment anyway. “Excuse me?” I asked, trying to sound polite.

He pointed at the poster and at a few girls trying to turn their heads to read the contents of the upside down poster. “It’s to get people’s attention.”

He walked out of the school fence after having accomplished his mission at our school, and I watched as his silhouette slowly turned the corner, with a hint of shock in my face. Smiling in disbelief, I heard the group of girls standing there in exclamation, proud that they were finally able to read the contents of the poster. And somewhere around the corner, I imagined that same boy smirking, his face prideful as these girls all fell for his tactic. Me included.

Somehow the idea of having to lose to a boy ticked me off, but nonetheless I had to admit that he was one witty boy. It would be nice to meet him again… Or maybe it was the idea of never meeting him again that reassured me. But somehow, that day I felt happy, one way or the other.

Well, there are some things that are meant to be seen upside down. If you start seeing things in your life in different perspectives, you may find that things are not how they seem to be. Instead, things could be so much better. Or worse, for that matter. But what would I have known, being that innocent little girl I’ve always been… even if I had felt cheated out of love my first time with Sungjae. But what did that matter? After all… I finally walked out of that storm I had been showering myself with for so many years. Anything would be better than those few years… right?

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