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Xiumin was not one of the more outgoing members of their group. So why he always found himself in compromising situations, he will never know. But let’s just say that he has become wary of all his younger companions, especially those with over-excited grins and forever curious minds. This particular case had him running into his boyfriend’s comforting arms, although that in itself was probably not the best idea.

It all started when Chanyeol and Luhan had approached him, sidling up to him with those Cheshire cat grins and cutesy voices of theirs that signified their want for something. The others could never envision what it was they wanted until they asked for it, often weird and wacky ideas that left the listener in shock. Their target was never the same person twice in a row, so if you had been pulled into their scheme, you knew you were safe for at least another nine schemes. But if you were one of the more forgetful ones… well, you never know what would happen.

“Hyung,” called Chanyeol, grabbing the baozi’s left arm, Luhan reaching for the right. At first, Xiumin thought nothing of it, thinking that they only wanted his attention, to play with him, so he didn’t struggle against their hold. If only that was the case.

“What is it?” he had asked with an innocent smile. Oh, how painfully naïve he was for the oldest of the lot. He failed to notice the mischievous glint in their eyes, the sadistic upturn of their lips, their teeth glimmering under the afternoon sun.

“You’re a baozi, right?” Xiumin nodded at the phoenix’s question, “Luhan-hyung told me that baozis are food and that they have fillings,” Chanyeol continued with a guiltless expression.

“Well baozis are food but-”

“So what filling do you have?” interrupted Luhan, moving his face closer to the other’s neck. Xiumin froze as he felt Chanyeol trapping him from the other side as well.

“I- I don- What filling? Wait, guys!” But it was too late.

Xiumin flinched as he felt their teeth nipping at his neck, not too hard to pierce his skin, but it was still a little too intimate for his liking. Not that they seemed to care, but he hoped that their respective lovers didn’t decide to show up at this exact moment to catch them in such a compromising position. Puppy Baekhyun seemed cute and adorable, but when he’s jealous… Beware of diva Baekhyun that will sass your one-way ticket to exile. And Sehun, well Sehun is normally cold on the outside but only cares about Luhan so that’s self-explanatory.

But of course, Xiumin forgot about his own boyfriend.

“Min?” Xiumin looked up to see Chen staring at the scene in front of him with wide eyes, jaw slack.

“Th- This isn’t what you think it is!” he spluttered, the two troublemakers instantly letting go of his arms and moving off to the side to watch the confrontation between the two lovers. “Chen, listen to me, I-”

The troll marched over, grabbing Xiumin by the wrist and began to drag him to their shared home.

“No-one’s allowed to eat Xiumin, except for me!” he shouted to anyone that was within hearing radius, planting a sloppy kiss on the surprised elder’s face.

“Wait what-”

“Be prepared to be devoured as punishment for letting them get so close to you,” hissed Chen, but it was clear from his urgency that he wasn’t literally referring to having Xiumin as a meal in that sense. However, this was lost on poor Xiumin, who began to whimper in fear, tears spilling over as he sniffled to himself.

He soon understood the true meaning of Chen’s words though, not that it was any better.

“OH MY GOD, CHEN. YOU ANNOUNCED OUR LIVES TO EVERYONE.”

And that is the story of a forever innocent baozi who, despite being the oldest, is probably the most naïve, along with the precious unicorn and panda.

Thank you for reading~