III. EMPTY KEYS

Baekhyun went to Chanyeol’s condo that morning. It was Kris who opened the door.

“Kris.” He didn’t expect Kris to be there as early as seven.

“Baekhyun.” They both sounded formal. “What brings you here?”

Baekhyun didn’t mention the email Chanyeol sent him last night. “Is Chanyeol awake?” he must be, he thinks to himself. Kris was in his get-up clothes, making Baekhyun wonder where he and Chanyeol are headed.

“He’s taking a shower,” Kris simply replies.

Baekhyun figures Chanyeol wouldn’t talk to him anyways. The letter he sent was obviously his way of saying goodbye. “I just wanted to give him this.” Baekhyun hands a photograph he’s taken two days ago. “It reminded me of the song he played at my exhibit.” He wanted to speak to Chanyeol alone. He wanted to end things properly, if not fix them. But something hits him just now. Chanyeol wouldn’t have cared anymore. When he needed an explanation from Baekhyun, Baekhyun didn’t say any. What makes him think clearing things out this late would even matter?

Kris stares at his friend for a while before accepting the picture. “I really hope things were still the same, Baekhyun.” And after saying that, he stepped near him and gave Baekhyun a brotherly hug. It was all he can do at the moment. The gesture actually made Baekhyun smile. Back then he would always try to resist Kris’s hug and they’d wrestle and play martial arts as if they were in the movies. They used to do that just to make time pass. And Chanyeol would laugh watching them. It used to be that way.

“It could be.”

If there’s one thing Baekhyun realized while reading Chanyeol’s letter, it was the fact that time either brings about change or defies it. The choice is yours.

Kris smiles too. It felt good hearing something positive from Baekhyun. “See you around, Baek.”

Baekhyun liked the sound of that. It rekindles old bonds.

That afternoon, they heard ‘Roses of the Sky’ for the first time in the radio. They were in the car going to a friend’s house. “Turn it off.”

“Why?” Kris was enjoying Chanyeol’s music being played by a different artist.

“It just doesn’t sound right. Turn it off.” It sounds weird to Chanyeol, really. He always had the impression that he’s the only one who can play and sing his songs. And now someone in the radio is doing it for him. It feels wrong.

That same time, Baekhyun was listening to the same radio station. He heard the song too and it didn’t take him long to realize that Chanyeol wasn’t the one playing it live. He wonders who could it be and why someone else was singing Chanyeol’s song; the song that he made for Baekhyun.

“That’s your song?”

“How many times are you going to ask?!” Kris almost throws the pizza at Chen’s face. Chen is a good friend of both him and Chanyeol. Chanyeol was being quiet in one corner.

“Fifty! No, just kidding. But why did you sell it to them, Chanyeol? Are you out of your mind?” looks like they made a wrong decision spending the weekend at Chen’s place.

“Sort of.” Chanyeol managed to laugh it out.

“Really, why? Where’s Baekhyun by the way?” Chen can’t finish eating even one pizza.

“Will you just shut up?” Kris would say every now and then. To which Chen would reply, “Hey, you’re in my house!” and they’d end up laughing some more.

Chanyeol didn’t mind the questions. He told Chen what he thought happened and even if Chen’s face looks funny for either listening so attentively or acting very interested, he continued with his story. In the end, Chen’s only reaction was, “I see.”

Sometimes it’s nice that you’re holding something when talking to Chen. You might need it to throw at him when he reacts inappropriately. “And this guy named Kai. Is he in any way more handsome than you think you are?”

They all laughed at his unexpected question.

“I’m more handsome,” Chanyeol didn’t know where he’s getting the guts from. But he was having a great time and this was how he used to be with his friends. He used to have so much energy and confidence that it sometimes makes them go nuts.

“How much did they pay you, for your songs I mean?” Chen showed a serious face that didn’t suit him.

“Chanyeol can buy your house with that single check,” Kris shared. Chen almost spits out the olive.

“You’re kidding!” Chen protests.

Both Kris and Chanyeol raised their eyebrows. “Talk to yourself!” and with that, they ended the day with an empty pizza box and a bottle of ketchup on the table.

“What do you want to do with it?” Chanyeol was sitting on the couch with his legs stretched on the centre table and one hand holding the check Sehun gave him for his songs.

“Can you do me a favour?” Chanyeol asked at Kris who was in his sleeveless holding a saucer and a cup of coffee.

“Sure,” Kris said without asking what the favour was.

Chanyeol stood up, got the newspaper lying on the table, and handed it to Kris. “Use the check.”

Kris began to read what’s written on the newspaper. Famous photographer sets to do another exhibit to help in charity. A small black and white photo of Baekhyun was posted on the bottom left. He eyes Chanyeol afterwards. “Chanyeol…” he begins with a warning tone.

“I’m not doing it for him. I’m doing it for the children’s foundation they mentioned.” Chanyeol clarifies.

“You expect me to buy all of it?”

“No. I’m expecting you to buy all that is left. The exhibit opened yesterday.” Chanyeol pointed at the date when the newspaper arrived.

“And where are we supposed to put those photographs after purchasing them?” Kris was trying to stop Chanyeol from his absurdity.

“In my condo.”

Chanyeol turned to leave Kris’s place and smiling to himself he shouts back, “You said sure!”

 The photographs were delivered to Chanyeol’s condo three days ago. It made a total of seventeen frames. Chanyeol thanked Kris for doing his favour. Baekhyun would’ve received the payment by now, not knowing who bought all of them. Kris requested to keep his name anonymous.

“What now?” he blurted out.

“I’m thinking of…finding a new place, actually.” Chanyeol shared. He has been thinking ‘bout it for days although he didn’t know why he has to do it. “Or maybe I don’t have to, if someone would be nice to offer his home, you know.”

Kris wants to punch Chanyeol in the face. He didn’t expect him to start-over this way. But Chanyeol was doing fine. He seems happy even without a second in front of his piano or a paper and pen on top of it. Chanyeol was doing fine without Baekhyun. Everything seemed like an upgraded version of rewind. It was like January 17, 2010 started again in Chanyeol’s life. But this time, he spent it not waiting for Baekhyun but trying to live through the days without him and enjoying each part of it.

“Okay. One condition: pay the bills too. I don’t accept visitors who’d stay for months. But I’m going to say yes to a renter.” Kris points a finger.

“You’re a bad , Kris. How dare you call yourself a friend?”

Kris only laughs. “Back at you, derp.”

Kai still calls Baekhyun. There were times they’d stay on the phone for hours just talking about their latest schedules and endorsements. Their dreams seem endless until Baekhyun realized not all dreams are magical. Some dreams take you too far from where you should be. And dreams aren’t dreams without having someone to share the joys with. Kai was far. He still doesn’t know when he’ll be able to go back to Seoul. And Baekhyun was left behind the angles of his camera always trying to get a good shot. Life almost seems static.

His collection went higher in numbers. He needed a new apartment, a place that would give him and his work a bigger space.

“There’s this condo that would probably be good for you.” A friend suggested. They went to check the flat the next day.

It was the building where Chanyeol lives. His friend pressed seven on the elevator. Chanyeol’s flat was on the same floor.

Baekhyun was surprised when his friend stopped right outside room 716. “Here, check it out.” He handed the keys to Baekhyun.

“Are you sure it’s available? I happen to know the person who lives here.” Baekhyun reasoned.

“Chanyeol? He left last month.” Where could he possibly go, Baekhyun starts to ponder. “Go ahead,” his friend commanded and so he opened the door.

Everything appeared nice and clean. There weren’t newspapers on the carpet, the TV was off and the curtains fell neatly to the floor. But what caught Baekhyun’s gaze were the frames on the wall. “You know what, I think I have to thank Chanyeol for tidying things up before he left. He even put those beautiful photographs along the corridor to the terrace, see? And these right here…” Baekhyun followed to where his friend was pointing. Chanyeol bought them all. Baekhyun’s photographs were posted on the wall as if the unit was vacated to welcome him as the new spacer. Chanyeol contributed so much to the funds that were given to the children’s foundation. How can he not tell Baekhyun this? But after a while Baekhyun asked himself why would Chanyeol need to tell him? He just wanted to help, for sure. “There were about seventeen frames I think. I don’t recall ever putting them myself. And…” Baekhyun wasn’t listening anymore. He was looking at the black piano beside the living room.

“He left the piano?” Baekhyun asked.

“Oh yes, he told me to consider it as a give-away,” his friend said matter-of-factly. Why would Chanyeol leave that? That piano was his life. “You can go check the bedroom if you want.”

But Baekhyun was already in the kitchen, remembering something that Chanyeol included in his last email. The calendar still hangs on the side of the fridge. It got stuck in March. Baekhyun doesn’t know where Chanyeol has written the words so he flipped the calendar from the first month. All the days from January 1 to 16 was crossed out. Baekhyun turned to February and saw the words written just at the back page of the previous month. Chanyeol highlighted the whole paragraph in pink. That was a first. Chanyeol never used pink highlighter the way Baekhyun does. Baekhyun felt worse.

He went into the bedroom. The closets were empty; just two hangers and a white towel, and the mattress was covered in white sheets. Baekhyun neared the table where Chanyeol used to put his perfume on and found a small calling card slightly covered with dust.

Seoul Recording Company

Oh Sehun

Manager/Producer

011-19-22-725

He kept the card in his pocket.

“So?” his friend waited patiently.

“I’ll take it,” Baekhyun made up his mind.

“Good! Let’s talk about the terms of payment, shall we?” And with that, they settled down and started business.

“Good day, Mr. Park!” Sehun greeted upon seeing Chanyeol entered the conference room. It was a few months after the first airing of ‘Roses of the Sky’ in radio stations. Chanyeol came unaccompanied and there were about four pair of eyes looking back at him.

“Hi,” he simply said and sat down without invitations.

“Thanks for coming,” Sehun started. “I would like to introduce you to Lay, he plays your songs in the piano.” Sehun pointed to a guy with short brown hair and thin lips. They exchanged bows. “And these two are part of our recording team; they do the sound check and some other vocal arrangements.”

Chanyeol clearly doesn’t know where this was headed so he just keeps on nodding his head every so often.

“Mr. Park, we just want to inform you about Lay’s album. It’d basically include all of your songs; the ones you permitted us to produce, but we will give you credits by putting your name as the original composer. It will be released by the end of this month and we want you to be at the launch.”

Chanyeol thought it as an easy request. “I’ll be there.”

The rest of the meeting was about how Chanyeol wanted the company to acknowledge him as the song writer, what his preferences were and if this or that would be okay.

They finished around eight in the evening and heavy rain was pouring outside. Luckily, Chanyeol was able to bring his umbrella with him.

When he got outside the building, he saw Baekhyun waiting for a cab and getting all wet. He ran to approach him. “Are you planning to get sick?”

Baekhyun’s hands were inside the pockets of his jacket and he was already slightly shaking from the cold. He immediately turned to see who dare shared an umbrella with him. “Chanyeol.” He can only say Chanyeol’s name.  His heart started shaking too.

“Cab?” Chanyeol asked.

“Yes,” Baekhyun replied, embracing himself for some heat.

Chanyeol called for a taxi. Before opening the cab’s passenger door, he asked, “Same apartment?”

Baekhyun nodded.

“23^rd Dhane, Jongamno Street.” Chanyeol told the taxi driver and shielded Baekhyun with his umbrella until he was on the passenger seat.

“Thank you,” Baekhyun mouthed before closing the door. Chanyeol waved at him from outside the window. The taxi moved away with Baekhyun left staring at Chanyeol’s thinning image in the side mirror. Only then did Baekhyun realize he no longer lives in that address Chanyeol mentioned to the driver.

That moment, Baekhyun didn’t feel like they were strangers. He didn’t feel the fact that it was the first time he saw Chanyeol again after four months. Chanyeol was commuting when he never has before. And Chanyeol…

Chanyeol smiled at him like he never caused him pain. Time heals almost everything.

 “I never knew you can dance like that.”

Kai just finished a commercial shoot. He looked at his intruder. “Baekhyun!” he almost ran into him and wrapped Baekhyun in his arms. “When did you arrive?!”

“Just this morning,” Baekhyun managed to free himself from the hug. He knew Kai would be shocked.

“Vacation?”

“No, I’ll be going back the day after tomorrow,” Baekhyun shared. He was in LA for a reason.

“That’s short,” Kai commented.

“Yeah, uhm…I actually…” Baekhyun doesn’t know where or how to start.

Kai cut him off. “Let’s eat?”

Baekhyun missed dining out with Kai. He misses not having to worry about work or stress. The conversations he had with Kai were priceless because they never run out of topics. Whenever he stops talking, Kai would take turns. There was never a dull moment with Kai.

“I learned ballet at a young age and shifted to other styles of dance when I was in high school,” Kai was telling him.

“And modelling?” Baekhyun has his legs crossed under the table.

“I started doing that a few weeks before I met you,” Kai smiles. Baekhyun knows what he has to do. And seeing Kai smile at him like that just stops him from speaking further. Kai has this spark in him that anyone wouldn’t wish to die out. He was pure in every angle.

“Which do you love more?” he asked.

“Dancing, maybe. You know, I think I’m the type of person who always gets torn in between two things,” Kai looked at Baekhyun’s eyes and added, “Or in situations.”

Baekhyun just smiled.

“And you? How’s your job?” Kai wanted to hear more from him.

“I…I’m actually taking a rest from taking pictures,” they were getting there, Baekhyun knows it.

“Taking a rest?” Kai has not understood.

“I’ve been practicing my vocal chords lately. Back then, I thought I’d be singer someday. It was kind of my second dream, next to photography.” Baekhyun rationalized.

Kai’s smile slowly vanished. He remembers. “You had that dream with someone else.”

The atmosphere between them started to change. Or maybe Baekhyun was only feeling tensed.

“Kai…I was thinking…” Baekhyun doesn’t seem to be aware that he was rubbing his palms back and forth and Kai felt the need to hold them in his and make him relax.

“Code C?” Kai simplifies for them both. When Baekhyun remained silent, he continued, “Remember that day at the beach? A few days after we met? There’s this couple fighting and you asked me what I think was happening and I told you that maybe one side has finally dropped the Code C?”

Baekhyun tries to remember. “Why is it Code C again?”

“C for ‘comes to an end’ or ‘calling it off’,” Kai’s jaw line tightened. “Were you thinking ‘bout that?”

Baekhyun removed his hands from Kai’s, “No, I wasn’t thinking about that.” Kai waited. “I was thinking…friendship is all I can give.” Baekhyun looked down at his feet. If Kai would be angry, he can accept that. He heard him make a sigh and Baekhyun almost had his eyes shut.

“Thank you,” he heard Kai speak. That made Baekhyun look up at him again.

“Thank me? For what?” Baekhyun was absolutely clueless.

“I think…this is the most honest moment I ever had with you.”

“Why do I have to come with you?” Chanyeol was in the middle of convincing Kris to attend Lay’s album launch as well. Besides, he needs a support system. Who knows, maybe Sehun was planning to call for him to give a short speech before or after the show? Chanyeol doesn’t like that idea.

“Because my songs are about to get released all across Asia,” Chanyeol stressed out each word sarcastically. Kris just got a new pierce on his ear and was avoiding Chanyeol’s hands in case he decides to use force just to make Kris go with him.

“Alright, alright!” Kris raised up his arms in surrender. Chanyeol let out a victorious laugh.

The venue was jam-packed the moment Kris and Chanyeol arrived. Chanyeol was starting to wonder if these people came to hear his songs or to support the new artist named Lay. Either way he finds himself smiling.

The event started on time and Lay had a brief showcase of his musical talents before it was time to sign some CDs and perform some of his, or Chanyeol’s rather, songs. Kris was getting bored with all the fans screaming and stuff. They weren’t even seated; the thing he keeps complaining about to Chanyeol for almost an hour now. Sehun didn’t reserve even a single seat for the original composer of the songs Lay was currently performing on stage. Kris will hate him for a lifetime.

Lay performed two songs without the piano and the last he reserved for the most anticipated song by fans. “I’m sure all of you are waiting for this next song. For this one, I have to give my microphone to someone who’d do the honour of singing it while I play it in the piano. Please, let’s all welcome Byun Baekhyun!”

That was when everything froze. Baekhyun appeared on stage and all Chanyeol can think of was that night he saw him outside Sehun’s recording company.

Baekhyun can’t see Chanyeol from the stage; the crowd in front of him was just too big. But he knew somewhere in that crowd, Chanyeol was listening.

“I heard this song exactly six months ago. Someone played it during my exhibit. Someone who used to be so special. Someone I would’ve sang this song with, if only I did not change and sent everything falling apart. Someone who must have been repeatedly banging on the keys just to make a good melody.” Baekhyun shares with a smile. Kris was watching steadily from Chanyeol’s side.

“It took me more than two years to realize that I was once those empty keys. He must have wondered why all the sounds were slowly drifting away. But he never gave up on me. He managed to make a song that didn’t quite show his pain. Even if he was probably hurting, he came up with a song that would eventually lift my spirits up and make me remember how being in love with him felt like. It took me up happy in the clouds.”

Chanyeol goes back to those times; those years when he knew Baekhyun would do and risk exactly the same things just to save their relationship. It’s funny how much can change in a certain span of time. But time does a lot of things. It decides which things go and which remains.

“But the second time I heard this song, it was already being played by someone else.” People laughed when Baekhyun slightly turned to look at Lay on the piano. “That’s when it scared me. He must have given up on me after all.”

No. Chanyeol didn’t think of it that way. When he sent that email to Baekhyun six months ago, he wasn’t completely saying goodbye. He was merely challenging himself with every tomorrow that comes. Because Kris was right; you can’t possibly use every tomorrow thinking it’d offer you what it had yesterday.

“I asked Lay to make me sing this tonight because I knew he would be here. Maybe it’s my turn to make the melodies bring back the good memories. And maybe, just maybe, he’d take me back?” Baekhyun asked at the crowd; as if wanting to hear Chanyeol’s reply in that instance.  

Baekhyun sang ‘Roses of the Sky’. That moment, Chanyeol wanted to step up on stage and replace Lay by the piano. That was how it was supposed to be, many months ago. But Chanyeol can only wait. Waiting was all he keeps doing. Some people think waiting is easy when in fact waiting requires effort. Waiting is equal to time. Someone needs not to teach Chanyeol that equation. He witnessed it by heart.

The crowd dispersed and Chanyeol saw Baekhyun speaking to Sehun in the backstage. Sehun saw him and Baekhyun turned too.

“I can’t remember ever teaching you how the lyrics of that song should go but still, you sang it perfectly,” Chanyeol praised. It was only the two of them now.

“Really? I wished Lay wasn’t the one playing it for me, though,” Baekhyun was smiling widely now.

“I’ve thought about what you said earlier and uhm…” Chanyeol massaged his chin comically, making his dimples appear on both of his cheeks. “Maybe I’d take you back. In one condition.”

Baekhyun’s brows crossed. “What?”

“Promise me you’ll have an umbrella with you the next time it rains.”

Both of them laughed.

When Baekhyun stepped forward, he only has these words to say: “Thank you for keeping up with me all this time. I love you, Chanyeol.”

-END-