"Luhan, please, talk to us. We want to help you." Baek Hyun said as he looked at the older man full of worry.

 

10 people were gathered inside Luhan's hospital room, all wearing suits as they just came from a funeral.

 

Luhan lay on his bed staring at the ceiling, emotionless. He has been in the hospital for two weeks and eventhough he has been conscious since his second day, he has never spoken a single word. Especially when he heard from the others that the love of his life has passed away. 

 

Su Ho stepped forward and placed a necklace on Luhan's hand. 

 

Just from the feel of it, Luhan knew whose necklace it was. He was the one who gave the necklace to Sehun when they were still training and the younger man never took it off. .

 

Tears started pouring from his eyes as he held the necklace tightly in his hand. The others tried to calm him down but Luhan continued to cry harder. He was starting to shake and was trying to catch his breath. His heart beat fastened and it triggered an alarm in the nurse's station. Within seconds, a nurse came rushing into the room checking on Luhan. As soon as she saw him, she knew he was having a panic attack. She immediately injected a sedative on his IV and after a few minutes, Luhan started to calm down and fall asleep.

 

EXO were shocked to see Luhan like that. They've never seen him in such a mess. To them, Luhan has always been a happy and carefree person and he shines the brightest whenever Sehun was by his side.

 

Once Luhan was stable, the nurse asked EXO to step outside the room. She asked them what happened and what triggered Luhan's panic attack. Suho explained that he gave Sehun's necklace to Luhan and that's when he started to cry uncontrollably. The nurse took some notes and asked if Luhan said anything. They all shook their heads and the nurse sighed. She asked EXO to be more cautious around Luhan and avoid talking about Sehun for the mean time.

 

--------------------

 

 

He stepped on the gas pedal to match the speed of the car beside him but the other man drove faster. The face of the other man was a blur but he knows that he needed to stop him and talk to him. He was going at full speed when he saw the car he was chasing suddenly tried to slow down. The car still crashed into a crossing truck and before he himself can slow down, he felt his own car crashing then everything went black.

 

Sehun's eyes was wide open. He was breathing heavily and sweat was dripping all over his face. He didn't know where he was. He can feel the pain all over his body and he knew there were wires and tubes connected to him.  All he can see was the light from the ceiling but he can feel people around him. He couldn't understand what they were saying but they were all screaming. He tried to move his head but he instantly felt light headed and dizzy. Finally, someone came to his side and talked to him.

 

"Sehun-na, can you hear me? Sehun-na?" A man in a white coat asked him.

 

Sehun just grunted, unable to speak.

 

They were trying to keep him conscious but he was so weak that he passed out.

 

The next time Sehun woke up, he was in a different room. He felt more comfortable and his body didn't hurt as much as before. He looked around and saw a girl and an older woman sitting on the couch beside him sleeping. He tried to talk but all that came out was a soft and slow groan. 

 

The girl must've been sleeping lightly because she suddenly woke up when he heard Sehun. She stood up and hurriedly went to his side. 

 

"Sehun, are you okay? Can you hear me?"

 

Sehun batted his eyes as a response. 

 

"Mrs. Oh, Sehun's awake!" The girl said. The older woman woke up and immediately went beside Sehun taking his hand.

 

"Oh thank heavens! Sehunnie!" She kissed his hands and cried.

 

The girl called the doctors to inform them about Sehun and after a few minutes, they came rushing to the room. They did a quick check up on Sehun then helped him sit up. By this time, Sehun was now fully awake.

 

"Sehun-ssi, how are you?" The doctor asked.

 

Sehun stared at him looking confused.

 

"I--I'm ... It hurts. M-my head hurts." Sehun said. He was still having a hard time talking.

 

"I see. It's okay. You're going to be alright, Sehun-ssi, it's from the accident."

 

"Accident? I--I don't remember. I can't remember anything." Sehun said.

 

The older woman looked petrified. The doctors started asking him more questions but he can't answer any of them.

 

The doctors told Sehun's mother that he is suffering from traumatic amnesia. No one knows when he'll be able to remember his past or if he ever will. 

 

Mrs. Oh called his husband and told him the news. Mr. Oh went straight to the hospital after work but he and his wife talked abut their plans for Sehun. They want to give him a new life. A life far different from his past. This was their chance to change Sehun.

 

"Sehunnie?" Mrs. Oh called out to his son as she entered the room. Mr. Oh and the girl followed her inside.

 

"Sehun, I'm so glad you're finally awake. I'm your father, Oh Min Kyu" Mr. Oh said.

 

Sehun just stared at him.

 

"And this is your mother, Oh Soo Jin."

 

His mother grabbed his hands again and caressed them.

 

"Sehunnie, I was so worried. We thought we were going to lose you."

 

"Mother..."

 

"Sehun, this is Choi Hyo Rim, your fiance." his father said as he introduced the girl who was with them.

 

 

Fiance? Sehun knows that he can't remember anything but he didn't feel anything towards the girl. When he saw his mother for the first time, he knew she was somebody important. Same goes for his father but this girl, it's like he was really meeting her for the first time.

 

 

Sehun stayed in the hospital for a few more weeks. His mother and Hyo Rim kept him company and answers all his questions. 

 

From what he has gathered from his mother, he is in Los Angeles, California. Their family owns a clothing business and he is the only heir to the company. He and Hyo Rim are classmates in University and they're taking up Business Management. As for the accident, his mother told him that he and Hyo Rim went to Korea during the summer break to visit Hyo Rim's parents. Sehun went out by himself on their last night and was involved in a drag racing bet. His car lost its brakes and he crashed into a crossing truck. He was in a comma for a week in a hospital in Seoul but he was flown back to LA to get better medical attention.  

 

"But in my dream, there was another guy. I was chasing him. I mean, chasing him to stop him. I wasn't racing. I--I just can't remember his face. It's all a blur to me." Sehun said.

 

"Sehunnie, you were racing. And that boy, that boy is the reason why you're here. Why you're in the hospital." His mother said. Sehun can feel the anger in her voice.

 

 

--------------------

 

Everyday, members of EXO would drop by Luhan's room to check on him. They talk to him but he never answers. They know he can hear them because he reacts to them but he just never says anything. Out of all the members, Suho and Kris are the most worried. They talked to Luhan's doctor and found out that Luhan has selective mutism. He was greatly traumatized by the accident and the death of Sehun. Suho asked the doctor if Luhan will be able to speak again and the doctor said that it is all up to Luhan. If he wishes to speak, he will.

 

Suho and Kris told the rest of EXO about Luhan's condition. The two of them encouraged the others to keep talking with Luhan even if he doesn't reply.

 

Luhan stayed in the hospital for another week. When he was discharged,  his parents came to take him back to China. Luhan didn't want to. He wants to stay in Korea. The only place where Sehun is. Kris talked to Luhan's parents and told them that it might be better to let him stay for now. He promised that EXO will take care of Luhan and is still welcome to stay at their dorm. Luhan's parents trusts the members and left him in their care.

 

After taking Luhan's parents to the airport, EXO went back to the dorm. It has been two months since Luhan was there. He was thankful he was back home but he felt empty. Especially when he saw a photo of Sehun in a corner of the living room. He took the photo and hugged it as he cried softly. The other members looked at him worriedly. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to let him stay with them. The dorm is full of memories of Sehun and they don't know if that will help or worsen his condition. 

 

Kris asked Luhan which room he wanted to sleep in. Xiumin offered his but Luhan declined. He went to his old room. The one he shared with Sehun. 

 

"Are you sure you want to stay here?" Kris asked. 

 

Luhan nodded.

 

"Do you want someone to room with you?"

 

Luhan shook his head.

 

"Are you sure? Xiumin or Lay can--"

 

Luhan shook his head again. He didn't want to bother anyone of them. Their room assignments before were perfect and Luhan didn't want to change a thing. He also wanted to keep his and Sehun's sanctuary. The most special place in their life.

 

Kris let him go and told him to rest. Luhan went to his room. It looked exactly the way he and Sehun left it two months ago. The other members didn't let the cleaning noonas change anything and Luhan was thankful for that. He flopped down on the bed and the scent of Sehun lingered around him. He hugged the pillow that Sehun used and pulled the blankets they used. He fell asleep imagining Sehun was there laying beside him.

 

He woke up a little past noon. He got out of bed and went to the kitchen where he found Kai and Xiumin eating. Xiumin noticed that Luhan was looking for the others and told him they were out for a radio show. Luhan looked at Kai but the younger one avoided his gaze. 

 

Unknown to Luhan, Kai is mad at him for not telling them what really happened the night Sehun died. Kai is the closest member to Sehun and they treat each other as brothers ever since their training days. He can't accept that Sehun is gone and he somewhat blames Luhan for what happened.

 

Xiumin got him some food and Luhan willingly finished everything on his plate.

 

"What do you want to do today, Luhan? I'm free the whole day. I can help you clean up." Xiumin offered.

 

Luhan smiled at him. Xiumin has always been a good friend. Then he sees Kai spacing out on the other side of the dining table.

 

Luhan stood up and ran to the bedroom. Xiumin wondered what was happening and tried to follow him. He came rushing back to the kitchen with Sehun's photo. He tugged on Xiumin's sleeves and showed him the photo.

 

"Luhan, what do you want?" Xiumin asked.

 

Luhan kept on pointing at Sehun's photo and was trying to drag Xiumin out of the dorm.

 

"I think he wants to go out." Xiumin said.

 

Luhan nodded.

 

"You want to see Sehun?" 

 

Luhan nodded again.

 

"Are you sure? It might  not be a good, idea Luhan."

 

Luhan shook his head. He tugged on Xiumin's sleeves and pointed at the door.

 

"Okay, okay. I'll take you." Xiumin said. 

 

"Xiumin-hyung, I'll take Luhan-hyung. You can just stay here and rest. I know you have dance practice this afternoon." Kai said.

 

Although he thinks that Luhan doesn't deserve to visit Sehun's grave, he thinks it's the only place where he can tell the older one his feelings. Xiumin agreed to let Kai take Luhan to visit Sehun.

 

Kai and Luhan felt awkward with each other during their travel to the cemetery. When they arrived, Kai went out of the car and guided Luhan. He stopped and pointed Luhan at Sehun's grave which was still a few feet away.

 

During Sehun's burial service, EXO were not allowed by Sehun's family to come near the grave. It was only after all the people left that they were able to pay respect to Sehun but Kai wouldn't even come near. He knows he'll break down and he didn't want that to happen in front of the others.

 

Luhan was on his knees and was holding on to Sehun's grave. 

 

All the memories about him and Sehun flashed in his head and Luhan started to cry. He thought he was okay. That he has accepted the fact that Sehun is gone but he was wrong. He realized that forgetting Sehun is like trying to know someone he has never met. Impossible. Because Sehun lives inside of him. 

 

Kai saw Luhan crying and he couldn't contain his feelings.

 

"Hyung, why are you like this? Why don't you tell us what happened?"

 

Luhan looked at Kai. He was pleading with his eyes, telling Kai to stop asking him about that night.

 

"Luhan-hyung, why are you being so unfair? We want to know what happened! Sehun is also important to us!"

 

Luhan stood up and tried to runaway but Kai was able to grab him.

 

"Sehun is gone because of you. I'll never see him again because of you!" 

 

"Kai!"

 

Luhan and Kai turned and saw Suho and Chanyeol.  Luhan fell on his knees crying. Kai was right. It was his fault that Sehun died. Suho ran up to Luhan and consoled him. Chanyeol took Kai back to his car.

 

"Luhan, Kai didn't mean it. He's still mourning for Sehun's loss. It's not your fault. It was an accident" Suho said.

 

Luhan hugged Suho. He wanted to tell him that Kai was right. He wanted to tell him what happened the night of the accident but when he tried to talk, he felt like he was choking. He was out of breath. Suho realized what was happening and called out for help. Chanyeol came running back to them and together, he and Suho helped Luhan to the car. Kai saw what was happening and was shocked. Luhan gasped for air and the three others panicked. Suho told Chanyeol to drive them to the hospital and just when he just started the car, Luhan passed out.

 

 

 

----------------------------------

 

 

"Stay away from our son." Mr. Oh said.

 

 

Luhan was sitting across Mr. and Mrs. Oh. He was invited by Sehun's parents to talk about the younger one's future. They were against Sehun and Luhan's relationship and they firmly believe that it is a disgrace to the Oh family.

 

"Sir, I understand that it's hard for you to accept us but I'm sorry, I can't leave Sehun." Luhan said. 

 

"We will not tolerate this! Sehun already has a fiance and we will push through with their marriage once they are both of the right age!" Mr. Oh said.

 

"But Sir, Sehun doesn't even love this girl. He doesn't even know her."

 

"And you?"

 

"I love him. I love Sehun so much."

 

"Nonsense."

 

"People like you will never understand. I am willing to give up everything just to see Sehun happy." 

 

"Then please give him up." Sehun's mother finally said.

 

"Mrs. Oh..."

 

"You do know what Sehun's dream is, right?" Mrs. Oh asked Luhan.

 

"Yes. He has always dreamed of being an idol."

 

"Right, and right now, he's doing what he wants. We didn't want him to enter this kind of world. We wanted him to go to college and take on the family business but we love Sehun so much that we tried to understand his dreams. But you, this thing he has with you, this we can never accept. Even if we know that this is what Sehun wants, we cannot let him ruin his life. If you don't want to stay away from him, we will take him away from you. We'll take him out of EXO and we'll take him with us to LA." Mrs. Oh said.

 

Luhan was scared. Sehun always said that being in EXO and performing in front of millions of people is one of the best things in his life and he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

 

"So, what do you say, Luhan? Will you give him up or will you take away his dream?" Mr. Oh asked.

 

Luhan didn't go home that night. He didn't want to see Sehun because he won't be able to control his emotions. He agreed to let him go just so he can stay as part of EXO. Luhan went from one bar to another, drowning himself with alcohol. When he checked his phone, he had dozens of missed calls from Sehun.

 

Sehun was worried about Luhan. The older one hasn't come home for the past two days and nobody knows where he is. Their manager is busy trying to track his whereabouts but Sehun can't stay still. He took one of their cars and drove around the city. He was losing hope but Kai called. He told Sehun that somebody saw Luhan at a bar downtown. Kai told him the address and Sehun drove there to catch Luhan.

 

Sehun looked around the bar and was able to find Luhan taking shots after shots of tequila by the bar counter. He made his way to the older man and pulled him out of the bar stool.

 

"What are you doing here?" Luhan asked.

 

"I'm taking you home." Sehun said.

 

"No, I can take care of myself. Go home."

 

"Luhan, let's go. You're drunk."

 

"No, You go home. I'm fine here. I don't want to leave."

 

"Luhan..."

 

"Go away, Sehun. I don't want to go with you."

 

"Luhan!"

 

" I don't want to be with you anymore! Leave me alone!" 

 

Luhan stood up trying to walk away from Sehun but the younger one grabbed his hand to stop him.

 

"You're just drunk, Luhan. Let's go home. Let's talk about this at home." Sehun said.

 

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to go home? I don't want to see you. I don't want to be with you. Let's stop all this bull. Leave me alone."

 

Luhan pulled his hand away from Sehun and ran out of the bar. Sehun ran after him. Luhan got into his car and drove  as far away as possible from the younger one. It hurts to say those lies to Sehun but he had to do it. He needs to give him up. Luhan drove as fast as he can seeing that Sehun was trying to catch up on him. Sehun kept changing lanes and finally, he was driving right beside Luhan's car. He was on the farthes right lane while Luhan was in the middle one. Sehun kept on honking at Luhan, signaling him to stop but Luhan tried his best to ignore him. Tears running down his face as it hurts him to see him and Sehun like this.

 

He was so busy trying to get away from Sehun that he didn't notice when the light turned red at the intersection. A container truck was crossing at full speed. Luhan tried to slow down to lessen the impact but he still crashed with huge force. He was dizzy but he was awake. He can feel blood trickling down his face and he tried to free himself from his seat. He was too weak to unfasten his seat belt. He looked around to ask for help but what he saw sent more pains in his heart. Sehun's car also crashed the same truck and out on the car's hood lay Sehun, face down, with blood all over. He flew staright out of the windshield because of the impact. Luhan wanted to call for help but he felt that he was losing consciousness. The last thing he heard were people screaming for help.

 

 

----------------------------------

 

"SEHUN!"

 

Luhan sat up as he was woken up by his dream. This was the first time he dreamt of what happened to him and Sehun the night of their accident. Usually he only dreams parts of it.

 

Luhan grabbed Sehun's necklace which he was wearing. 

 

Sehun, I'm sorry.  Luhan said in his head.