_{Credit to: http://kaleidoscopek...s.blogspot.com/ | Made By: Orphey}

Chapter 4 - The Insecurity

 "Stress is not a reaction. Rather it is the price we pay for the "civilized" life we live which by the way is not civilized at all."
Yovko Bonev ~

It was two months into the job before Maiko started to think Midori wasn’t up to it. The pressure was building each day, to keep the boys stylish and up to date with fashion, their skin healthy and their concepts perfect. The tight planning, late nights and stress had Midori turning to something she’d given up long ago.

Coffee.

It was almost a pet e of hers, she hated the addiction that came with the damn drink but after drinking marcha tea almost all her life she’d taken a fondness to it after she’d been introduced. She supposed it was love at first sight really.

But she’d become addicted with the desire to drink it every time she felt stress and when she’d been with her father and his plans it had been a lot. She’d ended up not sleeping well because of how much she’d consumed and would fall ill from lack of sleep.

Because of that she stopped drinking it and settled for guzzling water when she was stressed. Why she’d gone back to the damn thing she wasn’t sure because eventually she’d be having 6 to 8 cups a day again.

But for now she was giving into the slight indulgence. The boys had been promoting for a while and Maiko thought maybe the stress was building up on her again. Maybe it was the way she was brought up that made her panic if everything wasn’t perfect. Her outfits had to be perfect, house clean and tidy, nails polished and glossy and hair styled. Midori didn’t seem to be so good with sloppiness.

Or being rushed. Right now, she was being rushed. She’d told the trainee stylist they’d taken on what she needed and by when she needed them but Sochiro hadn’t been able to do it. Why, she wasn’t sure but she was damn flustered because of it.

Midori didn’t swear that was Maiko’s job. Midori was usually the one who smiled and butted in when Maiko was yelling at Sochiro, the 18 year old trainee. It came as a shock to all of them that Midori was the one spitting out words at the worried boy. Maiko was just about to run forward and try and control the trembling Midori when the hand holding the hated coffee jerked.

Midori wasn’t sure why she didn’t react instantely when the burning coffee spilled over her arm and the lower side of her stomach. Maybe she was too caught up in the frustration building like a metal ball in her stomach. Maiko panicked, something she was good at and grabbed the nearest clothe. It just happened to be Yunho’s shirt for his performance but at the time everyone had been too frantic to notice.

Except Midori.

If anything, it made it all worse. She’d freaked, pushing Maiko’s concerned hands away and grabbing the shirt, fearful as she rushed to the nearest sink and began to soak it under water. The trainees and Tohoshinki’s manager watched in paralysed shock as she forgot about her own problems and tried to fix the shirt.

That’s when the five stars walked in.

As if that didn’t just tip the lid, Yunho instantly took in the scene and rushed over to Midori who was blinking back frustrated tears. Junsu stood shocked at the door, a dumbfounded look littering his face. Jaejoong and Yoochun were pulled away by Maiko and shoved their costumes with a quick, ‘You don’t want to be here right now,’

Calm hands had tried to push away Midori’s trembling ones, ‘I’ll do it,’ Yunho muttered.

‘It’s fine,’ she muttered, pushing the hands away only to have them grabbed again, pulled away from the shirt and her small frame turned to face him. She didn’t look up, kept her face downcast as her tears threatened to spill over, ‘I’ll do it,’ he whispered again and, letting her hands drop numbly to her sides, he proceeded to nudge her away and clean the shirt himself.

A few minutes passed before Yunho’s voice drifted across the room, ‘It’s not coming out Maiko.’ The energetic girl was already bouncing over to where he was when Midori whipped the spilling tears and all but ripped the shirt out of his hands.

‘Lemon juice,’ was all she said as she shoved it into Maiko’s arms and moved to Changmin, pushing the tall man onto the chair and nimble fingers already styling his hair.

A warm hand landed on her shoulder, ‘Midori,’

‘Working,’

She heard an impatient huff and suddenly found herself spun around and face to face with a concerned Yunho, ‘Take a break,’

She shot him an impatient look, not so much a glare, ‘You go on in 20 minutes.’

He let her turn around, let her start fumbling with the uncomfortable boy’s hair, ‘An hour and 20 minutes Midori,’

The fingers paused, embarrassment settled, ‘What?’ she whispered, turning to land big eyes on Yunho. She was cute, Yunho realized, way too cute for his nerves.

‘Go take a break,’ he said again, swallowing the nerves in his stomach to push her away, watching as she numbly walked out the door and into the unknown.

Maiko came up to him soon after, a little flustered and red with embarrassment, ‘It’s finished,’ she whispered and held out the now clean shirt. He flashed a small smile at her, eyes flickering to the door.

‘Do you know what’s wrong with Midori?’ he whispered, pausing every now and then in the sentence to find the right words. He still wasn’t use to Japanese.

Maiko didn’t make eye contact but held out a newspaper clipping, ‘I think it has something to do with this,’ she whispered.

With that she vanished from the room leaving Yunho to stare at the ridiculous amount of Kanji that decorated the newspaper. There was no way he’d be able to read it but he had a feeling it was something to do with Midori since a picture of her and an older man who looked rather strict decorated the headlines.

‘What is it?’ the youngest of the group asked, looking at Yunho through the mirrors. Their eyes briefly made contact before Yunho smiled brightly, ‘Nothing.’

He folded the clipping, placing it in his bag and decided he’d have to translate it over the next couple weeks. He could always ask their Japanese teacher.

。~ ✿ ~ 。

Midori was surprised when Maiko told her Eleyne was at the door for her. She’d jumped up midway through fixing her hair and makeup and embraced the Australian girl.

Eleyne’s awkward laughter flittered across the room, ‘Maiko’s making us go out together. Said we both need to wind down a little,’

Midori turned large eyes to her friend who simply smiled, ‘I know about the news report,’ she said with a small shrug, ‘Anyone ever told you your father is an ?’

Midori shook her head, ‘I wish, they’re all a bit scared of him,’

Maiko snorted, ‘pansies, go finish getting ready I’m stealing Eleyne for a bit,’ with that Maiko practically bounced over to Eleyne, pulling her away into the kitchen.

Midori was left to finish the chore of her hair and make-up and came out 15 of so minutes later. She watched as Eleyne and Maiko laughed over something at the kitchen table before moving towards them.

‘Wait,’ Maiko suddenly called out, pulling their attention back to her, ‘I feel like I should say this but I’m not sure if it’s ok,’

Eleyne and Midori made eye contact before turning back to Maiko, ‘What is it?’ Eleyne whispered.

Maiko looked slightly uncomfortable before her eyes looked up and met there’s, ‘I know something bad has happened in both your lives, it’s not of my business what but… holding onto it will only make it worse for you.’

Maiko nodded but Eleyne’s face darkened, ‘Don’t act like you understand,’ she whispered, disgust littering the words.

It shocked Midori, really shocked her that the soft and kind Eleyne, the shy girl, had such venom in her voice. It obviously didn’t shock Maiko though because the Japanese girl leaned back on the bench and kept her eyes level on Eleyne.

‘How many things are there in life you haven’t done?’

Eleyne seemed uninterested by Midori’s attention shot towards her, eyes curious. Maiko didn’t pay her any attention, ‘Have you fallen in love? Really, fallen in love? Have you screamed out your anger to the ocean, tried to surf, gone diving? Have you stopped a robber, laughed till you coughed up your drink on your date or had your birthday cake smeared over your face?’

Something sharp stabbed Midori’s heart. Her hand was shaky when it lifted to press against her chest.

Eleyne and Maiko’s voices faded into the background, drowned out by the sound of her heart beat. She’d missed so much.

‘You have the chance, right now, to do everything you haven’t done before!’ Maiko’s voice shouted into the tense room.

Eleyne puffed out her cheeks, tears spilling uncontrollably, ‘I don’t want any of those things,’ she gasped out before she raced out of Maiko’s apartment, leaving a flabbergasted Maiko and a teary Midori.

‘I guess you guys aren’t going out,’ Maiko eventually huffed, turning with her arms crossed in defiance to see Midori bitting her lip.

‘Hey,’ Maiko’s face transformed immediately to concern, her hands reaching out to pull Midori into her, ‘What’s up?’

Midori shook her head, tears falling silently.

‘Tell me, Mi,’

opened and closed, no noise coming out. Desperate hands waved in frustration before falling to her lap. The small white teeth bit down into her lip.

‘Mi?’

‘I just,’ her voice choked, vision blurred from her tears, ‘I’ve missed so much.’ She whispered voice weak.

Maiko was quiet for a moment before lifting her hand to rest of Midori’s shoulder, ‘Then do what you’ve missed and don’t waste a day.’

Her friend nodded, a clenched hand moving up to brush the tinkling tears.

They went to bed late, after watching too many movies a gorging on too much junk food, something Midori had never been able to do and Maiko wasn’t about to complain about it.

Just when sleep was descending her phone buzzed. Half a-sleep and unamused the small Japanese girl rolled over and fumbled to get a grip on the phone.

She stared at the phone for a moment or two, ‘What do I do?’ she whispered softly.