June 11, 2016

"So, what I mean is..."

The dark-eyed brunette in front of me gathered her hands together, clearly sweating. She chewed on her lip nervously, consantly glancing at the untouched food on her plate as if she had never seen pasta before.

"... I... like you, Sun-bae."

I suddenly became conscious of my position: elbow on the table, chin resting in hand, face in the middle of a yawn.

Shoot.

With a deep breath, I stretched out my sore wrist, having repeatedly drawn twists of spaghetti noodles with a fork before untwirling it back onto the plate for the past hour. Flashes of thoughts behind who this brunette was, where and when I had actually interacted with her, and possible things I had done where she could have gotten the wrong idea went through my mind.

I sighed.

No wonder she had called me out separately when there was literally nothing to talk to her about except work.

"Why?" I let out rather genuinely. "You barely know me. And even the parts of me that you've seen, they probably weren't that attractive--"

The girl swallowed. "I... I know that you haven't been that friendly to our team--"

"I've treated you guys like trash."

"But!" Her eyes brightened up. "I know that there's something behind such a cold demeanor... No, there has to be. I've heard a lot of good things about you during college, and there's no way a person can change so drastically--"

"Who was it." I interrupted.

"... Baekhyun Sun-bae-nim, but that's not what's important--"

"Look,"

I rubbed my eyes, awfully tired.

"This... is really a waste of my time. I thought you actually had something to say about the project, or maybe the new design for next month that STILL hasn't been finished--"

I stopped. I was being pretty mean.

A sigh escaped my lips. "What I mean is... I really can't think of anything about you other than the fact that you're the one who brings coffee to our meetings and emails me the designs every July."

The girl bit her lip, looking every bit scared in the way she was so shrunk forward.

I sighed again. "And really, just look at yourself. You look like you're in here for an interview. Dating me would be a nightmare for both of us."

With a quick gulp from my glass of water, I got up with my coat to leave.

"I'll leave first. There's someone I have to have a talk with." ing Baekhyun hyung. "... Go home and sleep early. I won't be there tomorrow, so I need you to get there early to keep watch."

"Yes, Sir," She muttered.

"Make sure everybody's working. If our design misses the deadline this time, I might go ahead and cut someone's throat."

Starting with Byun Baekhyun.

-------------------

"Do you have any idea how reckless you were?!"

Baekhyun sighed.

"Look, I'm sorry. But if you really don't want any girls leeching around you, why don't you do something with this thing?" He pointed to my face.

"What even are you--"

"I'm saying that the whole "I'm gonna be a grumpy old man with nothing on my mind but work" thing is NOT working!" He gestured to the group of girls sitting a table across from us, giggling and waving towards us. "See? Species like them think the "bad boy" image is attractive."

"How am I the "bad boy" image--"

"Exactly! I don't even ing know, but obviously, it has something to do with your face." Baekhyun pointed out. "It always does."

I sighed, leaning my head onto the wall. "That still doesn't mean you should go ahead and tell someone from my work about my college life, which wasn't THAT different from me right now, you know."

Baekhyun winked at the group of girls, who burst into a fit of giggles. "Dongsaeng-ah, that is what I would call a lie."

I scoffed, gulping down the glass of cider in front of me.

"It's only been three years." I muttered. "Not much changed."

"Three years is still a lot, if you think about it." He got up to leave. "Especially in your case, Sehun."

I followed him out of the cafe, pondering over what was so different between the Oh Sehun of three years ago and Oh Sehun of today.

"I'm just... busy these days." I was met with the cool, evening air outside. "That's all."

Baekhyun hyung only looked at me, slowly losing the mischievous light to his eyes from before. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, looking down.

"I found someone like her, Sehun."

I looked up at him wordlessly.

Baekhyun spoke up again. "I'm not saying I found her, but maybe we can get closer to doing so if we listen to someone who knows more about things like this than us--"

"Hyung, have you been seeing Jiwon?"

It was Baekhyun's turn to be at a loss for words.

"W-What do you mean--"

"I really don't mind." I pressed my lips together, trying to keep from laughing at his shocked expression. "That's what I mean."

Baekhyun was still for a moments, before covering his face and falling to the ground.

"Okay, I swear I was going to tell you beforehand--"

"No need to, I already know you were going to."

"B-But... this wasn't part of the plan!" He got up again, completely flustered. "You were supposed to get mad, and I was supposed to give a long speech about how you would understand the most about the whole forbidden relationships thing--"

I burst out laughing.

"What the hell, hyung. I would've cut all relations with you if you had done something so cheesy."

Baekhyun smiled, slowly dwelling into the happy reality of this situation.

He cleared his throat.

"S-Since when did you know?"

"I don't know, actually." I threw my head back in reminiscence. "I think when Jiwon got sick and sent to the hospital that one day. You dropped everything and spent the entire day there, but as if that wasn't suspicious enough," I smiled in amusement at Baekhyun's flushed cheeks. "She suddenly stopped avoiding me. She even came up to me one day, asking where Baekhyun-Oppa was--"

"That idiot," He muttered under his breath.

"And not to mention those rumors of you taking care of her whenever she got drunk... I guess those were true then." I said sheepishly.

"Oh, gosh, I remember that. She would rant on and on about Oh Sehun this and Oh Sehun that." He shot a fake glare at me. "I hated you so much, then."

I laughed again, feeling nostalgic.

"I was downright crazy then to even think of Jiwon.... There was literally nothing going on my mind."

"Except for Yoosol."

I flinched at the name.

"... I... I don't know, Hyung..."

"Why not try, Sehun?" He began softly. "It's not like it would--"

"It would hurt to try, Hyung." I looked at him helplessly, somewhat excited by the fact that he had found someone with even the slightest relation to Yoosol, but remorsed by it at the same time. "I might never get back up. You don't understand... at one point, it wasn't even about her anymore. It was about that day when she disappeared without leaving any warning--"

Tears threatened to fall out of my eyes. I sighed, running my hands through my hair. "This is what I mean by how nothing has changed. I'm still the same kid from college, and I haven't grown up in anything I do except for how I work."

"But you've been looking for her." Baekhyun hyung insisted. "Let's face it, it's not that you might never get back up. You haven't got back up yet. Never since three years ago. And really, Sehun, I think there's no other way for you to do so unless you find--No... even if you find out why she disappeared, you'll get better."

It was silent for a moment.

"I'm waiting for you to say, 'You're right, Hyung! I think I SHOULD listen to you'--"

"Okay, fine." I sighed, amazed at the guy for being able to have a sense of humor at a time like this. "I'll listen to you--"

"'You're right, Hyung!'"

"You're ing right, Hyung."

I rolled my eyes at him, fighting the urge to slap him.

"Let's go find Yoosol."

HAHAHHAA OMG  ITS BEEN THREE YEARS LITERALLY THREE YEARS I'M SO SORRY
lets just say I'm trying to um get into the story so everything was on purpose