Fanfic: A bittersweet twist of Life
Author: babyHaeYobo
Reviewer: Melissa


Title: 5/5 - I really like the title! It gives the readers a hint that something unexpected is going to happen!

Background/Poster:3/5- At first glance, it seems like it will be a very happy story, based on the bright colors and lettering. But throughout the story, Sungmin kept having flashbacks on his late love, so it doesn’t really reflect on the background/poster. I would’ve used something a little darker, so that the colors do reflect on some of the chapters.

Forewords:10/10- Quick, short and sweet. Just how I like it! :) It tells you the general idea of what is going to happen and what to expect.

Plot:15/15- Good solid plot. Very easy to follow.

Creativity/Originality:14/15- This story is very creative, but it has the typical story of one’s love dying, but they aren’t actually dead, come back and find that their lover has moved on. You know what I’m saying? :) Try adding some sort of twist that not a lot of people have seen.

Flow:10/10- Story flows well and chapters don’t skip scenes to suddenly.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary:5/10- I found some grammar mistakes in the first chapter:

“I wouldn’t have gave up, I would’ve stayed by his side all of those times he suffered and needed me” should have been “I wouldn’t have given up, I would’ve stayed by his side all of those times he suffered and needed me.”

“I don’t care if I’m the king of the world, as long as I can took care of that guy” should be “I didn’t care if I was the king of the world, as long as I could take care of that guy.”

“that time I don’t even need to be super man as long as he’s my biggest fan” should be “at that time, I didn’t even need to be super man, as long as he was my biggest fan” I found some other similar mistakes throughout your story. Be careful with the tenses. They should never be mixed.

In the second chapter, it should not be “I and Sungmin”, but “Sungmin and I”

You also word your sentences funny, for example “Teukie-hyung will be very much mad at me” should be “Teukie-hyung will be really mad at me” or “very mad at me” or “so mad at me”

Be sure to double-check your story and make sure that you have the correct tenses and the correct sentence structure. Make sure that your sentences flow smoothly, as if you were talking to someone else.

Characterization:15/15- Characters were interesting each of them had their own unique personalities. This made it interesting and enjoyable to read.

Writing Style:9/10- Some of the dialogues were hard to understand, but overall, it was good. Your personality shows through your writing! :)

Overall enjoyment: 4/5


Total: 90/100

Labels: Melissa