You

It was 12 years ago…

“Hiks…”

“Don’t cry, __-ah. You know I won’t be moving too far from here. It’s just Daegu. You can just come visit me whenever you want, right?” He caressed my hair softly.

“But oppa, what if I am hungry in the middle of the night and I really want ramyun?” You were crying hard that day… crying for a very kind oppa that you’d never had since you’re the only child in your family… the only oppa-like neighbor that always defends you from that bad girls at your class just because you have a new nice dress, the only oppa-like neighbor that always buys you a cup of ramyun or snack whenever you were hungry, the only oppa-like friend that you think you will never have..

And now he’s about to move to Daegu.
And now he’s about to leave you alone.
And now, even though you were only 6, you think you will be the loneliest person in this world.
And the worst is,

you have never liked that idea.

***

“Hey ___-ah! Guess what?” MinAh, my best friend suddenly appeared before me while I was doing my math homework. Oh why I never can get rid of these ridiculous questions?! I mean, how can algorithms or trigonometry will be used for work in the future? Geez.

“What?” I answered coolly and uninterestedly because I was still doing the same question from one hour ago.

“Ya! Don’t you want this?” She took out a piece of paper and showed it off to me. Oh my don’t tell me… “Oh my gosh! MinAh-ya! Where did you get this?? I’ve been looking for this!!!” my eyes were as big as tomato and in disbelief. MinAh got a ticket to go to a music program broadcast this Friday! Go to a music program this Friday means I’ve got a chance to see my Baekkie!

I will always find you wherever you are. Even though through my camera lenses…

I’ve been fangirling over this cutie pie, Baekhyun since the day his group, EXO, debuted. His smile is as adorable as an angel and his voice might not come from the earth.

“And one thing, ___-ah, you also got this!” She took out a name tag from her pocket and ‘backstage pass’ was written clearly there. I cannot contain my feeling and hugged her directly while jumping here and there. “MinAh-yaaa!! I love you I love you I love you!!!!” I shouted. Oh, I don’t care if my classmates were looking at us like we are weirdo. We do are weirdo and we do proud of it.

“Yeah you love me. But you surely love your ‘oppa’ more tsk,” she teased. I got myself frowning directly.

“Hey, MinAh-ya. Why did you bring over this problem again? hehe. I’ve forgot about him. He’s just a part of my childhood.” I smiled bitterly. Yeah, he’s just a part of my past I should have forgotten long time ago.

MinAh found herself suddenly felt guilty. You know she doesn’t mean to open up your old scar. It’s just… so painful for you. “Hey, __-ah, listen, I am sorry by bringing this up to you. But you know you shouldn’t be stacked in your past forever, right?” I only answered by forcing a smile. “How about we go to look for ddeokbokki or maybe jajangmyun after school? It’s been a long time, right?” She cheered me up. How I adore her for this.

“Pretty! Guess who am I?” MinAh got her eyes covered by big familiar palms.

“Taemin oppa! Stop it, you know I can recognize you by your smell.” MinAh uncovered her eyes and got herself facing Taemin oppa, her boyfriend.  “Hihi you know I smell amazing.” He kissed her cheeks then hugged her.

Oh gosh they’re so lovey dovey. “You guys are gross.” I said then gave up with my math problems. I yawned. “Hoahm… better go to the rooftop and sleep.” I muttered to myself. I always love being on the rooftop. Yeah, it’s kind of hot in this summer, but hey, who cares if I can get my peace there. I found a good place, put my head on the wall, put my headset on, and closed my eyes.

“___-ah! Look, oppa brought you a lollipop!”

“Whoaaa oppa! I really like it! Thank you oppa!” He then gave me that smile and caressed my hair softly. “Oppa will buy you lots of lollipop, __-ah. When I grow up later, I will buy you every sweet you want!”

Trrrrrttt. I was awaked by the ringtone of my phone, signaling there’s a text coming in.

From : MinAh
Sent : 11.56 AM
Message: Yaa! Where are youuu? Class is about to start and I am pretty sure you don’t want to make the teacher angry.

I checked my watch once again. 11.57 AM “Oh gosh!” You ran to your class.

***

"Oh . I hate this."

You cursed out loud that day. 

"Dammit! Why I should clean the whole class by myself?!" You threw away the broom stick you used to clean up the class. "Where is MinAh when I need her?! I will make sure she's gonna be sorry for this." Your face is about to burst out because you got detention for coming late to Mrs. Kim's english class and you can only just murmuring and cursing out to everything besides you, even a chair.

"Okay you goddamned chair, just stay there when I ing clean you up."

It turns out that Mrs Kim is 'apparently' the most disciplined teacher you have ever faced in your life. Well, you never thought so beforehand because of your good marks on her class that makes her puts some that kind-hearted face on you.

But no, you are totally wrong. Mrs Kim never ever likes students who come late to her class even though it comes to you, one of her most favourited student.

"I am so disappointed with you, Miss." She appeared out of nowhere with her hands folded on her chest. "I know you are one of my most briliant students, but you know that I can never ever tolerate every single person that is undisciplined." You swear she could see there was smokes came out from your head because of your anger. After another 30 minutes 37 seconds exactly (well, you counted it) Mrs Kim had spent scolding you A to Z about disciplinary thingy, she let you go home, with promise that you will never come late again to her class, or else, she would cut your marks.

A text showed up when you were on your way to go home.

From: MinAh
Sent: 3.47 PM
Message: Hey, pretty ;)

She always replaces your name with sweet things when you got angry with her. So that you give up your anger and forgive her.

To: MinAh
Delivered: 3.48 PM
Message: Oh, no no not again. I hate you.

Not even 3 minutes later, another text came in.

From: MinAh
Sent: 3.50 PM
Message: You know you do are pretty. ;p I am sorry for not waiting for youuu :( Taemin oppa said he wanted me to grab some snacks with him.

You replied back hastily.

To: MinAh
Delivered: 3.51 PM
Message: Whatever.

You put back your phone to the pocket and put your headset on. It is always nice to walk to your home after you get off the bus like this. You don't know why but you find it really refreshing to walk like this. You like to visit a playground you used to play as a child. Just to sit on the swings or maybe just to relax on a bench and listening to music.

You looked up to your phone's wallpaper. "Baekkie oppa... how I want you to hug me and tell me, 'everything's going to be fine' or maybe sing a lullaby for me on days like this. You don't know this, do you?" The jpg version of Baekkie or Baekhyun, as you give him a nickname just like how every single fan does it, only stares back at you grinning from ear to ear. “How I wish you were here..” and you fell asleep on the bench imagining your idol gave you his shoulder to lean on.

“Hey, __-ah. Why you always call me ‘oppa’ while we’re on the same age?”

“I don’t know too, oppa. I guess you look like an oppa in my eyes.” He once again pinched my cheek until I got hurt and almost cried because of it. “Aigoo so cute. Okay fine. Just call me however you are. You can call me ‘oppa’ or ‘appa’ or even ‘hyung’ “ He then once again laughed cutely.

He was always be the mature one while you always be the childish one.

***

“GOSHH I AM GOING TO MEET MY BAEKKIE!!!” You cried excitedly holding your camera. MinAh, who’s beside you kept shut because she knows you are going to react like this every time you two went to a music program and additionally, this will be the first time you can directly meet your idol. Well, you have been to dozens of fanmeeting sessions but this is different.

You are going to be able to interact with your Baekkie.

She looked at you from eyes to toes and shook her head.

“I know this is going to happen. I knew it.” She regretted she gave you that backstage pass. You two have made up somehow. The moment you entered the class the day after that horrible afternoon, MinAh came hugging you from behind and apologized. Together. Which means, she apologized to you with her lovey-dovey-boyfie, Taemin. It came out that you can’t contain their over-sweetness and just accepted her apologize when she looked at you with those please-adopt-me-i-am-cold look.

“Come on, MinAh-ya! I CANNOT WAIT ANYMORE!!” You screamed then dragged her to the backstage.

You were in awe. The moment you enter the backstage, it was exactly the same with your imagination. Staffs moving props everywhere, artists move around busily choosing their wardrobes and the stage manager holding walkie-talkie trying to confirm the readiness of every performer. Your eyes got stacked in a room and you hold your breathe.

‘EXO’ nametag is placed besides the door.

“Hey MinAh-ya, is it really fine if we just come in like this? I feel somehow uneasy.” You whispered to your best friend who also standing nervously besides you. She nodded. “Yes. You know my dad works as the PD in this show, right? He said he had told EXO’s manager that we are going to come and greet them, as intern reporters here.”

You hesitated for awhile then you decided to try knocking on the door.

Krriiett..

“Hyung, I will go to toilet for a moment, okay?”  a guy came out of the room before you knocked. You hold your breath. He also seemed surprised by you and MinAh’s presence.

It was Byun Baekhyun standing in front of you.

Hey um so.. lol it was an awkward 2AM in the morning and suddenly I want to edit all chapters that I have written to become more... logical hehe. anw thanks for viewing, and ultimately, subscribing x