In my bed, I lie awake and still thinking what could have been if you were still here with me tonight. I know it could have been better seeing you right in front of me, knowing you are still alive. But I know this is life. No one stays forever.

When you left me, it was hard. The moment you stopped breathing, I was down on my knees for the first time. I keep praying, begging god to keep you live again. But how could I stop you when you are in a better place right now.

In heaven, I trust. You are still the friend, the first love I know. I know you still remember my name, when I call out on yours. I know you still smile and laugh, when I crack jokes the wrong way. And sometimes I smile too when I think of your name.