“You promise?” her hands were shaking and she was at the brink of tears.

 

“I promise, I will stay. For you and our kid.” He gave her assurance by linking her hands with his.

 

“I love you.” She couldn’t help it, the girl hugged the boy tightly and wept in his arms.

 

“I love you even more. Don’t be scared alright? I’ll be here for you.” He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and gently tried to calm her down. That afternoon was shattering, but he couldn’t let it break into pieces. He finally made a decision to stay with her and wait for the baby. She needed him to be with her. He was man enough for his actions and stood up for his girl.

 

“Daddy!” a squealing voice impaled through his ears and he was wide shot awake.

 

“Baby, dad’s still sleepy. Let dad sleep more okay?” he pleaded the seven year old jumping on his bed. Siwon had a recurring dream of how she left her that promise. A promise that he failed to stand up for. Somehow, he didn’t want to wake up from the dream, there were regrets later on and the part of the dream can fix it. How he longed to start all over again and this time make sure that everything turns out right.

 

“But daddy, it’s almost two in the afternoon. You have been in bed all day! Get up daddy, it’s poolside weekend!” Lauren nudged her dad at the back. Siwon looked at the bedside clock and saw it was already quarter past one in the afternoon. He must have been so tired from yesterday and the late night conversation with Sooyoung did not end well.

 

“Alright, alright, go get changed. Dad will be down in an hour.” He tried to cheat by bargaining.

 

“Daddy!” the kid stomped.

 

“Just kidding, give daddy five minutes okay sweetie?” he motioned for Lauren to get ready and his daughter sprinted out of his room for poolside weekend. They always do this at home when Lauren comes over. In a way, a family bonding for all of them, but that weekend, Siwon did not want to get off bed. He was unusually feeling lazy and beat.

 

Gleeful shouting and water splashes came from the poolside as Siwon took his cup of coffee. It was already half of the day when he decided to get up. If not for her daughter who rushed in, the dream would have been bliss and he could have snoozed a little over an hour more.

 

“Well, good morning.” His father who was sitting nearby the poolside saw him. Siwon gave him company by sitting beside. They both looked at the happy pill Lauren playing in the water with her Aunt Sooyoung and Uncle Max. It was those usual weekend afternoons where everyone in the family gathers.

 

“Lauren is growing up so fast. She’s slowly blossoming into a beautiful lady” his father chuckles.

 

“She’s beginning to look like her mom.” Siwon agrees and smiles to the thought. She really is Tiffany’s daughter.

 

“Tiffany hasn’t been here in a while. How is she?” out of nowhere his mom walked in the conversation with some snacks for her boys.

 

“She’s doing great, with Seunghyun.” Siwon tried to hide the trace of sadness he had inside every time he talks about Tiffany and Seunghyun being together.

 

“Why don’t you invite her over for dinner?” his dad suggested. Tiffany was the only girl Siwon introduced to his parents, and in a fingers’ snap, she became a family favorite. They have been eyeing on Tiffany to be Siwon’s lawful wife but it didn’t happen just as they have predicted.

 

“I-I don’t know dad, but, may be some other time. You know. Tiffany and I, we’re friends but I think that’s all we are ever going to be.” He tensed up hearing about inviting her over. Siwon thought it was a good idea but not really for his heart.

 

“Then, a dinner, like friends. Son, we miss her too. She has been part of this family.” His mom added.

 

His head hung low, not wanting to talk about their proposed dinner anymore. Siwon sees that Tiffany might get the wrong thing from a simple invite. His last ounce of hope might be thrown out in white space.

 

***

 

“Lauren, your birthday is a month away, what do you want as a gift?” her grandpa asked her from across the dining table.

 

“I want to go out! Daddy can we?” she pulled Siwon’s shirt who was beside her.

 

“Sure babycakes. Where do you want to go? Let’s go back to Korea? Go back to Everland?” Siwon was close to spoiling his kid but as a father who can’t be with her all the time, he could only do so much.

 

“No, I want to go to Disneyland daddy!” she clapped in excitement.

 

“Daddy hasn’t taken you yet to Disneyland?” her grandpa asks.

“Nope, he hasn’t yet. He always brings me to CostCo and Starbucks.” The little girl answered wittily and made everyone at dinner laugh at her hilarious response.

 

“Well, thank you for that, Lauren.” Siwon smiles and replied jokingly.

 

“Daddy can we go with Mommy?” everyone had their business stopped hearing Lauren’s request. Siwon turn to her attention and was helpless.

 

“Please daddy?” his family waited for his reply as the kid continued to plea.

 

“We’ll ask mommy first okay? Go finish your food, it’s almost bedtime.” This time, he found a timid scapegoat from the sticky situation. But Siwon can’t help but feel intimidated knowing that everyone expected a better reply from him.

 

***

 

“See what I have told you?” Sooyoung dejects as soon as her older brother came in the kitchen. By coincidence it has always been the place for their arguments.

 

“I’m not in the mood for this Sooyoung.” He scorned.

 

“Why can’t you give Lauren a yes earlier?” she prodded.

 

“I can’t, I don’t have Tiffany with me, I can’t decide for her. What if she’s busy? It would just make Lauren miserable.” an alibi that was too old for her younger sister.

 

“Oh come on, you know how much Tiffany loves Lauren! For family’s sake she would do that. At least the Tiffany I remember and I know.” Sooyoung reprimands.

 

“Well Tiffany has changed. She has other priorities as well. Like Seunghyun.” It pains him to mention it every single damn time.

 

“Why do you have to make cheap alibis like this? It’s not working! It’s making the situation worse, it’s making you worse!” she argues.

 

“What part of Tiffany has changed can you not get?! Isn’t that simple?!” he raises his voice at Sooyoung wanting to get his point.

 

“Tiffany has not changed. You did. Your decisions changed you. I hope you’re happy with that.” She said before calmly walking out on his brother.

 

***

 

“Daddy?”

 

“Yes sweetheart?” Siwon who was getting ready for bed wondered what Lauren thought of.

 

“Daddy did you and Aunt Soo fight because of me?” she asks. Siwon was stopped on his tracks that her daughter knew about the argument he and her younger sister had earlier after dinner.

 

“No, baby. Of course not. It’s something only adults can understand. So stop worrying now, and got to sleep okay baby?” he kissed her forehead and tucked her under the sheets.

 

“Daddy?”

 

“Yes hun?”

 

“Daddy do you love mommy?”

 

A question he never wanted to hear, and worse it was coming from his daughter.

 

“Of course baby, daddy loves mommy as much as you do. Because she’s taking care of little Lauren very well.” He gave a safe answer and motioned to turn off the lampshade.

 

“But daddy, why mommy is with Uncle Seung if you love her?” Lauren was a bit inquisitive in an innocent way. Siwon stopped on his tracks, she was indeed growing up. Lauren had interest now of her parents’ situation.

 

“You see babycakes, there are things like these that it’s hard for kids to understand. Like why mommy lives with Uncle Seunghyun when we have you as a kid, but that doesn’t make mommy bad. Sometimes, people have to change so that other people around them would be happy.” Siwon subtly explained.

 

“Are you happy mommy is with Uncle Seung daddy?”

 

“Of course. Now, let’s get to sleep. Daddy’s a bit drowsy today baby.” For sure these excuses will work now, but the moment she is old enough to compare, Siwon has to face the truth that he and Tiffany won’t ever work out.

 

“Goodnight. I love you daddy!” the innocent kid threw her body next to her father’s.

 

“I love you baby. I love you and mommy. So much. I love you so much.” He whispered. Those words, if he could only make up for it. He would do everything to have her back in his life.

 

“Mommy!” Lauren ran across the patio to the arms of her mother who was waiting for her return that day.

 

“Aww, my princess is back!” she knelt to her level and gave her a big hug.

 

“I missed you mommy.” She sweetly whispers.

 

“I missed you too pink princess.” Siwon was standing not far with Lauren’s things in his grip. The sight always tugged his heart, his own family, seem so perfect but not.

 

“Um, hi.” He shyly walks up to the girls.

 

“Hi.” Her face, she has done it again. That innocent face which got him the first time. Behind that face is a loving heart, the perfect mother for his kid, and the perfect wife for him, but it was the other way around. Not really his property anymore.

 

“Is Seunghyun around?” he asks, seeing no trace of her boyfriend anywhere in the house. Usually when he brings Lauren in, the two would be seen snuggling each other either on the patio or in the living room.

 

“Oh, no. He just left earlier, he has a conference in New York tomorrow morning so, he caught his flight about an hour ago.” She answered while Lauren in her arms. She brought her down and told her to go change upstairs.

 

“Um, I see. My-my parents wanted to say hi, too.” What is wrong with you Siwon? Why are you stammering. He scolded himself mentally for having that shivers every time they have small talk. It was a relief that Tiffany doesn’t notice. Or she does? She just doesn’t want to cause an awkward air between.

 

“Oh, tell them my regards. How are they by the way?” she returns the favor.

 

“Dad’s addicted to golf and mom, pretty much the same. You’re still her favorite.” Siwon doesn’t know why he said the last line but he knows it was a fact, his mom always had the eye for Tiffany as a potential daughter-in-law. Siwon saw her eyebrows flinch, but in return she just smiled.

 

“Hey um, listen. They were wondering if uh, you could go visit them, you know, they sort of miss you, and most old people are like that. I-I mean, you could um, pay them a visit anytime, you don’t have to call me up or anything, just um, they wanted to uh, see you.”

 

“Sure, maybe one of these days then.” His wide smile spelled content knowing she accepted the invite.

 

“Um, can we, talk for a bit? If um, you’re not busy.”

 

And that was the start.

 

***

 

“So what are you up to these days?” Tiffany prepared a heap of coffee for the both of them. They sat by the garden tables facing each other.

 

“Oh me? Nothing, just um, the normal stuff. Work. Go home. More work.” Siwon was not good at small talk, but he insisted that they should have one. At least catch up, as friends. Good friends.

 

“You’ve never changed. Still the workaholic Siwon I know.” She laughs. Implying Siwon to change his ways, even for a bit.

 

“Sooyoung says I’ve changed. How come you didn’t notice?” he was talking about the argument they had yesterday, but of course he won’t mention it in front of Tiffany, because she was the reason for the dispute.

 

“Mwoh? Your little sister is still trolling you up to now.” She was not stranger to the household, in fact, very close in observation. Tiffany knew that Siwon’s sister had a mindset of a pre-schooler. She likes to play with Siwon’s ‘too serious for everything’ attitude, which he always got annoyed of.

 

“No, she um, meant something else.” His breath became short, and he has no control over what he was saying.

 

“Hm? What is it then? Oh my, Siwon are you seeing a girl this time?” She blurted with excitement. He didn’t know what came into her mind that she actually thought of him dating a girl right now.

 

“Huh?” In case he denies, he would be in deeper trouble.

 

“Just don’t let work interfere this time okay? You know how much your love for work could do away with your potential partner.” She lectured chuckling. Oh, yes, work. How could anyone forget, that they actually broke up because of work?

 

FLASHBACK

 

“Marry your business Choi Siwon! I’m tired of your excuses!” she got her bags and packed the kid and her stuff.

 

“Tiffany what is this again? I told you, I was on a business meeting. It’s an international client and I can’t just let that get away.” He loosened his tie. It was not a good time to have an argument when he just came home from a 3-day trade venture.

 

“And your family?” she squinted her sight and walked out on him.

 

“Tiffany I-I don’t have time for this. Can you just, let me rest? I’m tired. Let’s talk this out tomorrow.” He acted like it wasn’t a big deal.

 

“Tomorrow? Then what? You leave before your daughter wakes up and say to talk it out on dinner. Then you call in saying you can’t have dinner at home. I’m so fed up Siwon! You don’t even have time to ask me how I’m doing!” she struck the inner anger that built up.

 

“You don’t understand Tiffany—“

 

“I don’t understand you. And thanks for letting your secretary choose your engagement ring for me! Too bad, you were so busy that she forgot to ask you my ring size and she asked me!” Siwon had no idea how dumb her secretary was, but he was far dumber to let her secretary do it. An engagement ring is something special to a woman, and letting your secretary do it was so wrong. He had plans of proposing to her over the weekend, but it was just too late. Tiffany reached her limit.

 

“Siwon? Hey, Siwon?” he was back to his senses and saw her hand waving in front of his face.

 

“Hm, uh. Yeah.” He said.

 

“I’m happy for you Siwon. Good to know you’re seeing someone.” I’m not seeing someone, I could never see someone other than you Tiffany.

 

“You know, I think I don’t really need someone new in my life.” He uttered making the woman in front curious.

 

“Oh, why is that?” It’s because you’re here. You’re the one that I want.

 

“I have Lauren already and…”

 

“and?”

 

“Uh. Nevermind, I- just thought of something.” He tried to escape the uncomfortable thoughts he had.

 

“Seriously? Come on spill it.” You want me to? I’m afraid you’ll turn your back and runaway if you knew.

 

“I think I really need to reconsider things in my life.” What a lame lie, but still it covered up for the subject.

 

“Exactly. Just like that girl of yours, take a chance Siwon. You’ll never know.” That girl? That girl is you Tiffany, can’t you see that? I can’t love anybody else but you.

 

“Hm, yeah. Oh, it’s getting late. I need to go to office early tomorrow, and um, Lauren is already asleep.” his eyes shifted to the little girl on Tiffany’s lap, peacefully sleeping. Tiffany pushed strands of her hair away from the kid’s pretty face.

 

“I’ll carry her upstairs.” He held Lauren in his secure arms and walked to her room. It was the first time Tiffany saw Siwon do daddy duties in years. Somehow, he missed this image of Siwon. A doting father and responsible husband.

 

“Good night princess. Daddy loves you.” Siwon tucked her under the sheets and placed a kiss on her forehead. The kid shook awake and opened her drowsy eyes.

 

“Daddy? You’re still here?” she asks.

 

“Um, yes princess. But daddy’s going home. I’ll see you this Wednesday okay? Go with mommy on dinner.” He sat beside her. Tiffany was leaning by the doorway, looking at the heart warming father and daughter moment of the two.

 

“Okay daddy! I love you!” her little arms hugged Siwon’s torso. The scene made her smile, Siwon was doing a good job being a parent.

 

“I love you too babycakes.” That name, Siwon used to call her that back when they were still a couple. She never thought he would hear it again, this time Siwon calling his daughter names.

 

“Drive safely daddy.” She said before closing her eyes again.

 

“So I’ll see you this um, Wednesday?” he wanted to be sure, before bringing in the news to his surely excited parents.

 

“Oh sure. It’s a date.” She chuckles. A date? Wow, just like when we were still together, he thought.

 

“Eh?” he wanted to show a confused face but Tiffany only giggled at him

 

“Good night Siwon. Drive safely okay?” she watched him enter the car and ignite his engine. She let out those genuine smiles again, and once more Siwon swooned to heaven. Wishing he was the guy in Tiffany’s life right now.

 

“Um, yeah. G-Good night to you too.” Soon enough, I’ll have the courage to say ‘I love you’.