Blossom

Hyun Joong was a popular boy with three best friends: Hyung Jun, Kyu Jong, and Jung Min. Throughout his life, these three were the ones who stuck with him no matter what. He had met Hyung Jun and then Kyu Jong and Jung Min. Hyun Joong was flawless in every way, making the boys and girls at his school admire him, look up to him, and crush on him. He had amazing grades, was good at sports, and was skilled at art and music. 

But not everyone was perfect. The only people who knew what the real Hyun Joong was like were his three best friends. His mother had passed away when he was in elementary school, that time having already met Hyung Jun. His father remarried but a few years later, Hyun Joong got kicked out of his house after his father also died in a car crash. Hyung Jun offered him a home to live in and soon, he basically became another son in the family. And in high school, he and Hyung Jun met Kyu Jong and Jung Min. 

Because of the debts he felt he owed Hyung Jun's family, Hyun Joong worked harder than ever, making sure that his grades and his abilities wouldn't fail to make Hyung Jun's parents proud, as if they were his own. Even though he knew they would never be, he tried his best. 

"Do you sometimes seem to have the same dreams night after night?" Hyun Joong asked one of his best friends sitting beside him on a bench as they ate their lunch, luckily having the same university courses together. "Repeatedly?"

Jung Min raised an eyebrow at the latter. "No, why? You do?"

The older nodded as he stared blankly at his sandwich. "I've been having the same dreams over and over again."

"Yeah, I kinda got that when you asked that question."

Hyun Joong eyed Jung Min with a grumble before he continued. "I'm always sitting at the same place and then, this boy would arrive at the same time in every dream. He just stands there, smiling, and he doesn't even say anything. I look at him, he looks back, nothing happens. And before I know it, I wake up."

Jung Min shrugged. "Do you know that boy?"

Hyun Joong shook his head. "No. And he never gave me his name either."

The younger patted Hyun Joong's shoulder assuringly. "Yeah, well, make sure you tell me his name when you get it."

"Hyung! Tell me about your dream!"

Hyun Joong was sitting on his bed, reading a romantic Korean novel when suddenly, Hyung Jun burst into the room with a wide excited grin on his face. The older wrinkled his nose. "What?"

"Jung Min told me about that dream of yours!" 

The older groaned. Jung Min had such a big mouth. Of course that boy would tell the others and soon, the whole school was going to hear about Kim Hyun Joong having creepy fantasies of a random smiling boy he hadn't even met before. 

"That's all there is to it," Hyun Joong simply said. "Jung Min told you everything, didn't he?"

"Well... can you describe what the boy looked like?" Hyung Jun requested, eyes sparkling as he plopped himself down in the middle of Hyun Joong's room, sitting cross-legged as if he were ready to listen to a lecture. 

Hyun Joong shot a strange look at the younger before sighing and putting his book down. He sat up and faced the boy whom he considered his little brother and thought a bit. "I remember... he has black hair and he has one silver crossing hanging on one of his ears, I think. I assume he's shorter than me but I wouldn't know since I never really stood up in the dream before. Oh yeah! And symmetrical dimples when he smiled, which was always."

When Hyun Joong stopped and looked back at Hyung Jun, the latter seemed to be staring at him in shock. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Hyung Jun?"

"Do you... You don't know this boy?" the younger almost whispered, as if in disbelief. 

Hyun Joong shook his head hesitantly. "Well, I don't remember ever seeing him around school... or ever, actually. Why? Do you know him?"

Without warning, Hyung Jun beamed and shook his head quickly, his happy expression plastered back on his face. "Nope, never heard of anyone like that. Let's see if you dream of him again. Maybe you'll learn his name."

Hyun Joong nodded slowly as Hyung Jun jumped up on his feet and headed out his room, closing the door behind him. Eyeing the door for another moment, Hyun Joong thought that the younger was a little strange, but he shrugged off the feeling and leaned back on the headboard of his bed again, taking up his book and continuing to read. He couldn't concentrate, however, for there was a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that he couldn't seem to ignore.

Hyun Joong sat on a familiar yellow bench underneath a beautiful, blossomed pink cherry blossom tree. The sky was blue with no hint of any brewing storm. Loose cherry blossom petals drifted down around the ground along with the gentle breeze of spring. He was dressed in his middle school uniform and he checked his watch. The boy always appeared after around fifteen minutes. 

In that time span, Hyun Joong allowed himself to enjoy the scenery. He recognized this area. It was the campus of his middle school before he had met Kyu Jong and Jung Min in high school. He wondered that maybe something happened here for his dream to always be set in this place. 

Before long, he heard soft, crunching steps heading towards him and he looked over to his right to see the usual boy with the same wide, yet breathtaking dimpled smile walking quietly towards him, hands connected behind his back. The boy wore the same uniform, as it had occurred in every other dream Hyun Joong had had. The stranger's black hair flowed along with the light wind, the sunlight reflecting off that single cross-earring worn on his left ear. 

Hyun Joong could only stare as his heart began to beat loudly, thumping hard against his chest. His hands clutched the edge of the yellow bench as the stranger got closer. Then suddenly, Hyun Joong realized that if he didn't do anything now, then they would never get anywhere. He was curious. Who was this boy? Why was he dreaming of him? It wasn't just because Jung Min had said to ask for his name, but inside, he wanted to know, too. 

The young stranger's eyes widen in surprise and his bright smile fade when all of a sudden, Hyun Joong snapped out of his whirling thoughts and stood up, which wasn't what usually happened. Hyun Joong took careful steps towards the stranger, looking the boy up and down numerous times, searching for signs of retreat, but the latter stood his ground as his smile returned. 

"Who are you...?" Hyun Joong had meant for his voice to come out strong, but barely prevented his face from turning red with embarrassment when all that came out was a hoarse whisper. He cleared his throat when the stranger chuckled and he tried again. "Who are you and why are you here? Tell me why I keep dreaming of you."

The boy looked up at him, his pure black eyes twinkling. Hyun Joong noticed something familiar in them, but he didn't know from where. Everything about this boy seemed familiar, yet foreign at the same time. 

"I see you don't remember me," the boy softly spoke and the taller's heart skipped a beat at the latter's voice. It was gentle and compassionate, almost heavenly. 

Hyun Joong's eyebrows furrowed as he scratched the back of his neck in uncertainty. "Am... Am I supposed to know who you are already? Were you in my school? In one of my university classes?"

The stranger shook his head. "Dreams come from your subconscious. They are fragments of your memory and your brain takes them and pieces them together. I am not someone who exists anymore."

The whole time, the boy's voice was quiet, almost as if he was afraid of someone eavesdropping. But there was no one other than them in the campus of the middle school. Hyun Joong swore that he heard a tint of sorrow in the latter's voice, but when he looked at the boy's expression, all that revealed was a tender smile. 

"But you're here."

"Not in reality."

"Can you tell me your name?"

The boy seemed hesitant but he nodded. "My name's Young Saeng... Heo Young Saeng."

"So? Did you dream of anything last night?" This time it was Kyu Jong poking his nose into Hyun Joong's business. The older groaned, cursing Jung Min and his big mouth. 

"I'll tell you once Hyung Jun and Jung Min get here since they seem to be pretty curious, too," Hyun Joong replied as he opened his lunch box and took out his usual sandwich and juice carton. 

Once the four were all gathered at their regular shady spot under their evergreen tree, Hyun Joong was immediately bombarded with questions. The older rolled his eyes. "Didn't think the nonexistent boy from my dream would become so famous in such a short time."

"Nonexistent?" Jung Min echoed curiously. "What's that supposed to mean? Did you find out his name?"

Hyun Joong nodded. "He said his name's Heo Young Saeng." From the corner of his eye, he suddenly saw Hyung Jun stiffen and he turned to the younger. "Something wrong?"

Hyung Jun quickly reacted and shook his head. "No, no, I just think that there's something in my sandwich. Please continue."

The older nodded and turned back to the other two who seemed to be overly curious. He sighed. "Yeah... and the only other thing he told me was that basically, he doesn't exist anymore in reality and that he's... some fragment in my subconscious, or something like that. I woke up right after he told me his name."

"A stalker!" Kyu Jong suddenly exclaimed. "What if he's a stalker?"

"Oh, you might be right," Jung Min immediately agreed. "Remember, you had like, two girls who kept on following you everywhere in the second and third years of high school? That boy could be like them."

"Yeah, but why would he appear in my dream?" Hyun Joong retorted, taking a large bit of his sandwich. "I need more answers. There's something about the boy that seems so familiar, but I've never even met him before in my life. His name... barely rings a bell! I don't know him!"

"Maybe you've seen him somewhere," Kyu Jong suggested again. 

"But he said he doesn't exist," Hyun Joong reminded. 

"Anymore," Jung Min pointed out. "You said he doesn't exist anymore. That means he used to exist."

"That means he died?" Kyu Jong pieced together. 

Hyung Jun sighed. "Jung Min, have you ever thought of switching majors to become a lawyer?" 

That night, Hyung Jun and his parents had to go out for a business dinner. Hyung Jun's parents wanted Hyung Jun to take over the family company so they made the boy go with them to the meeting, leaving Hyun Joong alone. 

Hyun Joong sighed as he surfed through the channels, searching for something interesting to watch. His eyes flickered over to the clock on the wall every few minutes, willing the hands to move faster. It was 7:00 pm. Four more hours until his usual bedtime. Then Hyun Joong realized he hadn't even eaten dinner yet. 

Finally, when three hours passed, Hyun Joong gave up and decided to go to bed. He was eager to see Young Saeng. He needed to ask more questions and get more answers. But part of him also wanted to see that heavenly smile and the sweet dimples. He wanted to see the twinkling eyes and hear his angelic voice. 

Once he managed to fall asleep, Hyun Joong found himself back at the same place, at the same time, sitting on the same yellow bench underneath the same pink cherry blossom tree, as had occurred in all his other dreams with Young Saeng. In fifteen minutes, he would get to see the boy again. In those fifteen minutes, he began to think again. But this time, he was thinking about Hyung Jun and how strange the latter seemed to act whenever he talked about Young Saeng. He even suspected if Hyung Jun actually knew this boy, but wasn't telling him. But why? If that were the case, then why? 

An almost silent crunching noise snapped Hyun Joong out of his trance and his head snapped up to see Young Saeng nearing him with that same gorgeous smile. It almost seemed as if the latter were glowing, radiating warm golden light that only angels possessed. 

"Can I sit beside you?" It was Young Saeng who spoke first and Hyun Joong wasn't prepared for it. His body immediately froze and his pupils dilated as he wracked his brain for something to say. 

"No! I mean yes! I mean yes, of course! Of course you can!" Hyun Joong stammered, unable to really process what exactly was happening to him. The words seemed to just roll off his tongue. He hurriedly scooched over with a nod. 

Young Saeng chuckled as he sat down beside the taller and looked out into the distance with what Hyun Joong thought were reminiscent eyes. Hyun Joong soon caught himself staring and quickly turned to try to capture what Young Saeng was exactly looking at. He was beyond flustered and embarrassed. He couldn't stop the blood from rushing up to his face, forming a bright blush on his cheeks and ears. Constantly fidgeting in his seat, he didn't know how or when to ask a question. It would be awkward if he popped a question out of nowhere. 

Thankfully, Young Saeng broke the silence with a smile. "I know there are things you want to ask me."

"Yes!" Hyun Joong responded a little too quickly and immediately blushed. "I-I... I know this is probably a stupid question. But do I know you? I'm sorry, you probably don't want to answer that question, but I'm really curious. I don't know even know why you're appearing in my dream. I don't recognize you whatsoever, you don't really ring a bell."

Young Saeng's gaze fell to his feet as he moved his hands underneath his thighs, kicking his legs back and forth on the bench. He wondered what he should tell Hyun Joong and what he shouldn't. There was too much to say in such limited time. Too much to explain. He knew one person who could do it in his place, but he didn't want to burden that person, to carry the weight on his shoulders of speaking out the truth that was kept hidden for so long. In all honestly, he was sad, but at the same time, he was happy. Happy that he could see Hyun Joong again and speak to him, but sad that Hyun Joong couldn't remember that the two of them had sat on this very bench at this very middle school in these very uniforms, side by side. Just like now. 

"Yes..." Young Saeng finally decided to say as he looked back up at Hyun Joong's innocent gaze. "I'll tell you who I am."

Hyun Joong nodded and eagerly listened. Young Saeng sighed. "We know each other, Hyun Joong... No, we knew each other."

"So I used to know you?"

The latter nodded. "Yeah, you used to know me."

Suddenly, the scene whirled before them and it changed into a familiar classroom. Hyun Joong's gasped in shock, his head whipping around. He found himself sitting at a desk with students all around him and a female teacher up at the front of the classroom, speaking about the math problems she had written on the board, using a pointer stick to indicate which formula was which. Peering out the window, he spotted the tree with the yellow tree beneath it. 

"This is where we first met," Young Saeng told him. Hyun Joong jumped as he had nearly forgotten that the latter was still standing there and was now behind him. That's when he noticed that even though the teacher's mouth was moving, he heard nothing. It was as if there was merely a movie, a flashback, a memory. "This is where our friendship started."

Without warning again, the classroom disappeared and so did the students and the teacher, being replaced by darkness. Hyun Joong felt a strong gust of wind and he nearly toppled over before Young Saeng grabbed his wrist, preventing him from falling. Right at that moment, he realized that they were on a roof of Hyung Jun's parents' company, a tall 40-storey building. Hyun Joong's eyes widened when he turned his head and screamed when he saw that his feet were on the edge of the roof and hundreds of meters below him was a busy concrete street full of pedastrians, cars, trucks, and colorful blinding lights. 

Cold sweat dripped down his temples as his heart pounded hard against his chest. He was sure Young Saeng could feel his quick pulse from the tight grip on his wrist to prevent him from falling. The sky was thick with dark grey clouds, looking as if a nasty storm was about to set in. He took deep breath in attempt to calm himself down as he looked back at Young Saeng to see that latter smiling, yet his eyes were wistful and Hyun Joong recognized another expression. Sorry. 

Young Saeng was sorry. 

"This..." the younger boy spoke as he stepped forward and before Hyun Joong knew it, the two of them were falling, falling, falling. Hyun Joong screamed and frantically met eyes with Young Saeng, silently praying that Young Saeng would suddenly switch the scenes again, but it didn't happen. Instead, all Hyun Joong could see in Young Saeng's eyes this time were tears and... a passionate smile.  

The last thing Hyun Joong heard was...

"... is where it ended."

And everything turned black. 

Hyun Joong shot up from his bed, drenched in cold sweat, panting, his heart beat frantic and pounding at his chest, as if attempting to jump out of his ribcage. He struggled to swallow the spit lodged in his throat as he looked around. He was in his room and the lights were off. Peering out the window, he saw that the car was back. The house lights were closed, indicating that everyone had gone to sleep.

"Hyung...?" The door of his room creaked open and Hyung Jun's head popped in, cutely rubbing his sleepy eyes. "What's wrong? I could hear you from my room." 

Hyun Joong shook his head. "It's nothing. I... had a nightmare."

"You're drenched, hyung," Hyung Jun spoke out as he stepped in and opened the lights. Hyun Joong almost shrieked before covering his eyes. 

"Stop! Stop! Close the lights!" Hyun Joong hissed out at the latter and the younger immediately did so. Hyun Joong blinked over and over again, trying to adjust back to the darkness. He could see white flashes in front of his eyes and squeezed his eyes one last time to clear his mind before opening them and facing Hyung Jun. "Hyung Jun..."

"Yeah?" 

"Come in and close the door," Hyun Joong ordered as he threw off his blanket and sat with his legs hanging off his bed, just as he had done so on the bench in his dream with Young Saeng. 

Hyung Jun obeyed and did so, hugging the pillow he had brought close to his body. "What is it?"

The older took a deep breath before opening his mouth and asking. "Young Saeng... You know something about him, don't you?"

"What would make you think so?" Hyung Jun asked cautiously as he worded his sentence carefully so that he didn't give away the truth. 

Hyun Joong looked straight at his brother-like friend and furrowed his eyebrows. "Every time I brought Young Saeng up, you would react strangely. You never ask questions like Jung Min and Kyu Jong do. After I described Young Saeng to you, you stopped being curious, as if you already knew who the person was."

"Hyung, have you ever thought of becoming a lawyer?"

"Hyung Jun! That's besides the point!" Hyun Joong exclaimed and then quickly lowered his voice to prevent Hyung Jun's parents from hearing, eyes wide, as he stiffened. Biting his lower lip, he waved Hyung Jun over and they both sat face to face on the older's bed. "You know something about him, don't you? Or rather, you actually know him. If that's true, tell me."

"Did... Young Saeng say something in your dream?" Hyung Jun questioned, hugging his pillow even tighter. "What did you dream about?"

"All... he told me was that..." Hyun Joong faded off. "He barely told me anything. He said that I used to know him. I mean, how's that possible? I knew him and then I forgot about him completely? We ended up in a classroom at our old middle school and he said that in that classroom, our friendship started, indicating that we were friends. And then we appeared on this... giant building. Actually, it wasn't any old building. It was your family's company building, Hyung Jun. And then he made both of us jump off and said that that was where our friendship ended. I mean, how crazy is that? By jumping off a building? I don't understand. Please, tell me anything you know, Hyung Jun. If you don't know anything, just say you don't know and I'll be a good hyung and believe you."

"Actually..." Hyung Jun started and he took a deep breath. "Yeah, I know him... And actually, it should also be, I knew him."

"Why? You forgot him, too?"

Hyung Jun shook his head and Hyun Joong caught a heartbroken glimmer reflecting on Hyung Jun's eyes. "Hyung, he's dead."

At that, Hyun Joong's lips felt dry and he them to taste a faint metallic taste. He must've bit them during his dream without realizing. Hyung Jun seemed reluctant to spill out the rest of the story. 

"Hyung... Can you hand me another pillow?" Hyung Jun requested and Hyun Joong turned around, taking one of his two pillows and handing it to his brother-like friend. The latter immediately hugged it along with his own and took a deep breath. "Yes, I knew Young Saeng hyung and actually, so did you. Jung Min and Kyu Jong don't know him because we hadn't met the two at that time. It was the period right after your father passed away and our family took you in. You refused to open up to anybody and even at school, you were like a ghost. The students condemned you as a freak because of that. My parents were always afraid that you were having suicidal thoughts and were contemplating whether or not to get you checked at the hospital. We saw no signs of selfharm though, so we erased that idea. Even I couldn't do anything at that time. But Young Saeng hyung could. He managed to break down your wall and make you see the outside world again."

"So... that means he was important to me?" Hyun Joong's voice croaked out as he felt his eyes get watery, a cold wave of emotions splash over him, making him shiver. Instinctively, he grabbed his blanket and used it to cover the lower half of his body. 

Hyung Jun nodded, a dejected smile on his face. "Yeah, and I loved him as a hyung. He was kind and gentle, and he was popular among the students even though he had just transferred, but even so, when he saw that you were being treated badly, he stood up for you. He abandoned the friends he had made in order to just to hang out with you and I admired him greatly for that, because it was something I couldn't do. What made me feel worse was that he was someone who had only gotten to know you in two weeks, while me, I was with you since the age of four."

"Hyung Jun, tell me what made me forget him," Hyun Joong urged desperately. "I couldn't have... I couldn't have forgotten someone like that. I couldn't have!"

"Yeah, I find it amazing that you did," Hyung Jun could only force out a bitter laugh. "You managed to open up to him a few weeks after he started to stick to you. He made you change your hairstyle, improved your face complexions, and also brought your smile back, and before I knew it, you two began dating."

"We dated?" Hyun Joong echoed in disbelief. That's when he realized all those overwhelming waves of emotions during his dreams were his actual real feelings, his true heart. The heart he had forgotten still existed. 

"Yeah, and you two were in love," Hyung Jun chuckled lightly. "You absolutely adored each other and you, my dear friend, were a possessive little brat."

Hyun Joong glared at the latter slightly, but Hyung Jun ignored it as he continued on, his mood darkening again. "We met him in the beginning of middle school and you guys began dating in the third year of middle school. Sadly, Young Saeng hyung had to transfer back to his hometown for high school due to his father's job conflicts. And in the beginning of high school, after he left, you became so depressed that you actually began to have thoughts of suicide. I realized it when we were visiting my parents' company building and you had disappeared without a warning and your phone was off. You didn't come back for hours and I instinctively called Young Saeng hyung. Coincidentally, he was visiting Seoul and was nearby so he rushed over and both of us began to search."

Hyung Jun stopped there. Hyun Joong's eyes widened. "I was... on the roof?"

The younger nodded. "Yeah. And he found you first. I didn't see what happened, but I'm assuming that by the time he got there, he saw you jump and he jumped after you. When I got there, I saw him jump off the roof and all I could was scream."

Hyun Joong's breath got caught in his throat. "Wh-why would he do such a thing?"

"I don't know." Hyun Joong saw the younger's body trembling and knew that the latter was struggling to hold back tears as he shook his head. "I don't know. There's a saying that love makes one blind and if you love someone enough, you would be able to sacrifice your own life for them, but, I don't understand. And when your bodies were found, Young Saeng hyung was already gone for he had hit the concrete first trying to protect you from the impact. You were unconscious."

"What made me forget him? I couldn't have forgotten him!" Hyun Joong felt a wet droplet hit his hand and he looked down to realize that he was crying. His tears were streaming down his face without him knowing. 

Hyung Jun took a deep breath. "You had temporary amnesia after that."

"E-eh?"

"You forgot everything about Young Saeng hyung, probably due to trauma. When you went to high school with me, you were back to how you were before Young Saeng hyung left, before your parents died. You seemed to have kept the effect of Young Saeng hyung bringing you out of your shell, but you didn't remember who did it. All you remembered is that you eventually accepted that your only parents had passed away and that you were working hard for good grades. I never brought it up because I didn't want you to remember because I was afraid that you'd go and think about suicide again. I didn't want that and I knew Young Saeng hyung wouldn't have wanted that either."

"So you just let me forget him? You just let me forgive myself for everything?" Hyun Joong suddenly began to feel angry, his blood started to heat up. Slowly, his memories were flooding back into his mind as if a wall had been smashed down and the flow had continued again. "I killed him, Hyung Jun! I should've been me who died. Instead, I dragged him into my own problems. I should've been me."

"No, hyung," Hyung Jun said as he held the older's shoulders firmly despite his shaking body and falling tears. "Fate is fate. It's not your fault he died. He chose his path and he sacrificed his life to protect you. Don't you think it's strange that even though you jumped first and even though you're heavier, he was the one who fell faster? He did it to save you, hyung. And all that means is that he wanted you to fight through, hyung. He wanted you to walk out of the hospital alive, he wanted you to live the life that he couldn't have." The younger pointed out his index finger and jabbed it on the older's chest. "He wanted you to realize that you didn't need someone to depend on and that you could stand on your own two feet, hyung, to be strong."

"How would you know?" Hyun Joong sniffled as he wiped away his tears. "If only I hadn't jumped, he'd still be here. If only I had just been stronger, if I had--"

"That's exactly why, hyung," Hyung Jun interrupted the latter's rant. "If only. You have to stop thinking about if only this and if only that and regretting everything you did. The past is the past, hyung, and there's nothing you can do to change it."

After Hyung Jun told him everything, Hyung Jun left the room and wished Hyun Joong sweet dreams before returning to his own room. Hyun Joong lay back down on his bed and tried to stop his tears, but the attempts were futile. They wouldn't stop. His heart was aching as he began to see all those memories he and Young Saeng had together, his brain playing those golden moments like a broken record. He didn't think he'd be able to fall asleep again, but he was wrong. 

Once he closed his eyes, sleep washed over him and he was back at the usual middle school campus, tears still in his eyes. It was bright and this time, he didn't have to wait fifteen minutes. Seconds later, Young Saeng appeared with that same breathtaking dimpled smile. Hyun Joong's eyes watered again as he quickly jumped up and dashed over to the young boy, enveloping him in a tight hug as he sobbed into his uniform. 

"I'm sorry," he cried. "I'm sorry, Saeng."

The said boy closed his eyes and returned the warm hug. "There's nothing to be sorry for, Hyun Joong. Like Hyung Jun said, I chose my own path."

"You... know what he said?" 

Young Saeng's eyes crinkled as his smile grew into a grin. "I was listening. I was there the whole time, you idiot."

Hyun Joong's eyes widened before he got lost in the latter's eyes. Young Saeng chuckled and reached up, combing his fingers through the latter's dark hair. "Hyun Joong, Hyung Jun is right about everything. He is the one who should become a lawyer. Really. He saw through my actions and analyzed it, and his conclusions were spot on. I used my body to protect yours because I wanted you to live, Hyun Joong. I wanted you to enjoy life. I wanted you to see what you really had instead of regretting that you left it once there was no turning back."

"Wh-what about you?" the older whimpered. "You still had a whole future ahead of you."

The shorter beamed. "None of it mattered to me."

"But it should've been you who stood in my place! It should've been me dying! I should've been me! I should've died! I should've... suffered. You didn't have to take my place!"

"But I chose to," Young Saeng spoke softly. "And I knew I wouldn't regret it. Hyun Joong, once you wake up, I know how you will feel."

"I'm going to wake up? I'm don't want to," Hyun Joong snivelled with frantic shakes of his head. "I want to stay with you, Saeng. I love you. I don't want to leave."

The latter only smiled as he shook his head. "No, Hyun Joong. You need to go and see the world. You need to see that you have friends who accept you as you are. Hyung Jun will always be there for you, so will Kyu Jong and Jung Min. I won't be your single pillar anymore."

"But I want to stay with you."

"I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to stay with you," Young Saeng said. "But we have to face reality. You're going to wake up and I know that you're going to feel guilty. If you let that guilt grow, you're going to block yourself off again and I don't want that. Just remember Hyun Joong. Thank you for everything. Thank you for continuing down your path, for working hard, for living because this whole time, you were living for me. Got it, Joongie?"

Hyun Joong nodded as tears forced their way into his eyes again when he heard his pet name being called. 

"Don't ever forget that. And one last thing, Hyun Joong."

"Wh-what is it?"

Young Saeng beamed and the light around him glowed as everything began to fade. Hyun Joong's eyes widened as he gasped and looked around, his vision being enveloped by light and the latter fading. But he calmed down as soon as he heard the wind whisper in his ear. 

"I love you."

Carrying a bucket of water and soap and a sponge, and a bouquet of tea roses, dark pink roses, and one single purple hyacinth, Hyung Jun led Hyun Joong to Young Saeng's gravestone. 

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Hyung Jun asked as he put the buckets down. Hyun Joong clenched the bouquet even tighter but nodded. The younger sighed and turned back to the tomb. "I miss you hyung. Thank you for all that you've given to Hyun Joong hyung. I'll leave him to talk to you."

And with that, Hyung Jun left. Hyun Joong stared at the tomb before kneeling down on both knees and holding out the bouquet. "Young Saeng-ah, I finally remember every single detail. Everything. These flowers... I searched them up on the internet and they have special meanings."

His tears were held down and he almost smiled when he thought that he could almost hear Young Saeng chuckling, joking about the flowers. Hyun Joong sighed. "These dark pink roses... they mean thankfulness. I thank you, Saeng. Thank you for all that you've done for me... I will live my life for you. You have given me a chance and I will take it. This single purple hyacinth is to say that I'm sorry. I wasn't strong enough and I know that I depended on you too much. And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for making you leave this world when it should've been me in that coffin, underneath this tombstone, when it should've been my name engraved in this slab of rock. I can't forgive myself for this, Young Saeng. No matter what you say, I will never forgive myself. But I have accepted the fact that it has happened and for you, I will not end my life and let fate take its course."

Hyun Joong held out the bouquet again and placed it on the tombstone. "And the last one. The tea roses. They tell a message to the loved one saying, 'I'll remember. Always.' I won't ever forget again, Young Saeng. No matter what happens in my lifetime, I promise you. I won't ever forget and I will love only you. I love you, Saeng, I really do. You can't ever forget that."

Hyun Joong closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he grabbed the bucket handle and was about to pull it beside him when without warning, there was a warm gust of window embracing him, as if Young Saeng was actually there. Releasing his tears, Hyun Joong knelt there and cried out to the tombstone, to Young Saeng. And that whole time, that warm breeze continued to envelope him, as if comforting him. And when Hyun Joong opened his eyes and looked up, there saw a single cherry blossom petal twirling down and he caught it with his hands as he stared at it. 

*Flashback*

"Don't you think cherry blossoms are simply breathtakingly beautiful?" Young Saeng asked the older as he looked up at the pink tree, his hands gripping onto the edge of the yellow bench in the middle school. 

There was no answer. Young Saeng sighed. 

"Too bad they don't last long. In a few days, the cherry blossoms will be gone... We'd have to wait another year to see them. And when we do, we'll know that another year has passed."

At this, Hyun Joong looked over at the young boy. "Why are you here again?"

Young Saeng grinned. "Life's short, Hyun Joong. Might as well enjoy it. And if you're going to enjoy it, might as well share it with someone, right?"

"Leave me alone."

"Why not we make this place our special meeting place? Just you and me?"

"Why would I hang out with you?"

Young Saeng shrugged. "Maybe because I'm new and I don't really believe the school rumors about you and I don't have any real friends yet and I'm interested in getting to know the real you."

"This is the real me, ."

"So? How about it?"

"How about what?"

"Meeting here. Every lunch? Wanna eat lunch with me?"

"..."

Young Saeng cocked his head to the side as he straddled the bench, eyes boring holes through Hyun Joong. The latter sighed. 

"Fine."

*End of Flashback*

Hyun Joong smiled at the memory and he looked up from the cherry blossom petal to tombstone. Carefully, he tucked the petal away into his bouquet, making sure it didn't fall out and exhaled. 

"I'll love you forever, Young Saeng," he confessed with a warm, yet slightly bitter smile. "Next time, I'll bring you a single red rose in full bloom. Enjoy your life up there. I'm sure my parents will love you. And I'll join you soon. I'll live my life for you and once my time comes, I'll return to you. Just wait for me, Young Saeng. Wait for me, okay?"

He felt another breeze of warm wind and he chuckled. He dug his hand into his jacket pocket and dug out a tiny velvet box. Opening it, he looked at the silver rings with diamond specks he had bought and took one out, wearing it on his marriage finger and taking the other one and placing it safely on the tombstone beside the bouquet. 

He held up his left hand and laughed. "See? No one will approach me now. They'll see that I'm taken. And you'll always know that I'm yours. I'll return to you eventually. Just wait for me and then when I go up there, I'll see you and we can sit at the yellow bench again at our middle school underneath that cherry blossom tree." Hyun Joong's eye crinkled as he grinned. 

"And this time, it'll stay blossoming. Forever."

Phew~ Wrote this all in one sitting! Goodness! Let's see... 6568 words in total! Does that count as a lot? I think it is. Haha~

Well, I think I like this story a lot. I mean, it's not totally angst, right? I don't know why I'm writing so much angst right now. Don't worry, I'm not doing selfharm or anything like that. Just in the mood, I guess :P 

Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Why does Young Saeng always have to die? I wonder... Okay! In the next one! There's going to be fluff!  At least, I'll try for there to be fluff! Thanks for reading and subscribing everyone!!! <3 <3 <3

Layout credit: Chapter layout ^002 by sonyeotokki03