One life has to be sacrificed in order for another life to live.

Hyun Joong stood at the gates of the university, scarf wrapped securely around his neck and covering nearly half his face. His hands were stuffed in his pockets as he shrugged up his shoulders to keep warm. Light snow fell from the grey sky as he waited. 

"Hyun Joong!" 

The said boy turned and couldn't hold back a big smile when he caught sight of his beloved boyfriend rushing towards him. Young Saeng ran up to the gates where he was waiting and jumped into his arms.

"How were the tests?" Hyun Joong questioned curiously, returning the hug. 

Young Saeng grinned. "Get ready to say hello to a new doctor."

The older laughed. "So you did well. Just as expected of Heo Young Saeng." Hyun Joong already knew that his boyfriend would do well. He had missed the younger so much during the month before the examinations. He recalled countless times when he found his boyfriend asleep with piles of reference books and encyclopedias on either side of him, a pencil still clutched tightly in his hand. 

"Now that I've finally caught up to you, we can be doctors together," Young Saeng chuckled as he grabbed the taller's hand excitedly. "Let's go on a date now. Come on, we haven't been on a date for so long."

"No Saeng, you're probably tired," Hyun Joong spoke gently. It was more than obvious to see that the older really needed some rest. Young Saeng's bags hung underneath his eyes, his face pale and he seemed to have lost weight for his cheekbones were a little more prominent than before. 

"I'm not tired," Young Saeng pouted. "Let's go on a date."

Hyun Joong shook his head. "Come on, let's go back to your apartment and you can get some rest. I'll cook you dinner, okay? Like you did for me last year."

Young Saeng smiled at the memory of the year before. Hyun Joong had taken the doctor examination one year before him because from elementary school, the latter had joined primary school one year early. And so, he was always a grade higher than usual. The younger sighed before agreeing and let Hyun Joong lead the way to his complex. 

"You should dress more warmly," Young Saeng broke the silence. "You already know that your heart isn't very efficient. And you shouldn't have waited out in the cold."

Hyun Joong smiled back at the latter. "Don't worry, it was my own choice. I wanted to see as soon as you finished your exams."

Young Saeng could only smile at that response. Soon, they arrived at Young Saeng's apartment building and quickly entered, reaching the third floor by the elevator, and stepped into the apartment. 

"Now go and wash up, and then go to sleep," ordered Hyun Joong as he stripped off Young Saeng's thick coat and scarf for him and hung them on the coat rack. "I'll call you when dinner's ready."

"Okay," the latter responded before Hyun Joong took the younger's wrist and pulled him close, connecting their lips softly. Hyun Joong let himself melt into the kiss before he suddenly felt an sharp pang of agony in his heart. He struggled to control his breathing and pulled away, acting as if nothing was wrong, and smiled. 

"Go."

"Are you sure you'll be okay? Joongie, you look pale."

"No, I'm fine," replied the older. "Just go. You're the one really looks like a zombie."

Young Saeng chuckled and leaned in for another quick kiss, but Hyun Joong hurriedly pushed him away, shaking his head and frantically pulling him down the hall towards the bedrooms, trying to hide the sudden dizzying headache and the struggle to get air into his lungs.

Hyun Joong made sure Young Saeng was out of sight before he grabbed his little bottle of pills from his pocket and poured out two onto his palm and dumped them into his mouth, swallowing them dryly. Using the wall as support, he leaned onto it, gasping for air and clutching onto the little plastic bottle as he waited for the pills to to do their magic. Finally, minutes later, the throbbing in his head faded and he made his way to the kitchen after putting away his own jacket and scarf. 

Shoot... I was in the cold for too long... 

He was still feeling faint and usually, Young Saeng would make him sit down in order to prevent overexerting his body, but right now, he needed to cook. With his thoughts still unclear, he managed to rice and pour it into the small rice bucket. He took his time in washing it before turning on the rice cooker. 

His vision began to spin and before he could do anything else except press the cook button, he collapsed. 

"Joongie, I can't find my towel," Young Saeng chirped as he hurried into the kitchen and nearly screamed when he saw his boyfriend out cold on the kitchen floor. "Hyun Joong!"

He rushed to him and grabbed the latter's neck, pushing two fingers into the jaw to check his pulse. It was beating unsteadly. Hyun Joong's skin was cold, his face pale. Young Saeng rushed to dial the ambulance. 

"Joong-ah, stay with me, please," he murmured frantically as he could only sit and wait for the ambulance to arrive. He covered the taller with a thick blanket from their bedroom after he had laid the man onto the couch. "Hyun Joong, the ambulance is coming."

Twenty minutes later, the ambulance arrived and the paramedics rushed into the apartment door, taking Hyun Joong from Young Saeng's arms and onto a wheeled bed. 

"Sir, would you like to come with us?" one of the paramedics asked as the bed was wheeled off. 

Young Saeng nodded. "Yes, please."

Some minutes after the ambulance had taken off in the direction of the hospital, Young Saeng heard a faint groan from the younger and he gasped. "Joongie? You're awake now? How are you feeling? You're on the ambulance. We're bringing you to the hospital. You'll be fine, okay?"

"I'm sorry..." he heard the man hoarsely whisper. "You just finished your exam and you have to deal with me."

"I don't care," Young saeng assured and pecked Hyun Joong's forehead as he squeezed onto the latter's hand. "Please, as long as I'm with you, everything will be fine. I love you, I can deal with anything as long as you're with me."

Hyun Joong shook his head and gasped for air. "I'm sorry, Young Saeng."

"No, you don't have to apologize. You did nothing wrong."

The older shook his head again as tears began to fall. "No, I did everything wrong. I shouldn't have fell in love with you, I shouldn't have had such a happy period of time with you. I'm sorry, Saeng. I only thought of me. I wish you'd never loved me. I wish we had never met."

"What are you talking about, Joongie? I love you and I'm never going to regret it. From the day we accepted our love for each other, I already knew that I wanted to be with you forever."

"Forever is a long time, Saeng."

"And I want to be with you for a long time."

"It's impossible," spoke Hyun Joong as he looked away from his lover. "I'm dying."

Young Saeng felt like time had stopped once the information sank in. But before he could ask any questions, Hyun Joong was unconscious again. "What... do you mean?"

"How is he?" 

Kyu Jong had burst into the hospital the moment he had received a call from Young Saeng saying that his older brother was in the ER. 

"I haven't been informed yet..." Young Saeng could only reply as the latter sat down beside him, sweat profusely down his forehead. "He just... suddenly fainted. And I don't know if he told you already, but I think you'd be the best person to ask."

"What do you want to know?"

"When we were on the ambulance, Hyun Joong said that he was dying." Young Saeng noticed the latter stiffen a little. "You know something, don't you?"

"If it's about cardiomyopathy, I'm definitely not the best person to ask," responded Kyu Jong with a sad shake of his head. "You have to ask the doctors. Or yourself. What symptoms had he been showing? Was he acting different?"

There was a pause before the two noticed a doctor dressed in a white lab coat walking towards them. They immediately stood up and bowed. 

"Heo Young Saeng-ssi, you are his lover, I am assuming," the doctor came up to the two and faced Young Saeng. He quickly nodded. "I am Park Jung Min. And you are...?" The doctor gestured to Kyu Jong.

"My name is Kim Kyu Jong, Hyun Joong's brother."

"Hyun Joong is still unconscious but his heart is steady," Jung Min informed. "He is fragile and weak. When you two see him, please do not bombard him with questions or your own concerns. He has explained things to me and there are a few things he does not with you two to know, but he believes that it is time to tell you."

"Is it true that he's dying?" Young Saeng suddenly blurted, unable to hold himself back. Tears were welling up as he saw Jung Min take a deep breath before speaking again.

"Yes, I'm sorry," the doctor spoke in the calmest voice he could possibly manage. "His disease has advanced to its last stage and the only thing now that can save him is a heart transplant. Unfortunately, there are many others who are also needing heart transplants. He's too far down the waiting list."

"But--"

"I'm sorry but the other patients come first. They have been waiting for a transplant for a long time," Jung Min said. "We cannot sacrifice another patient's life for his."

Young Saeng stood at the bed of his beloved and smile sorrowfully, gently removing the stray bangs of the older out of his face. 

"Joongie, I wrote a letter for you already. So when I'm gone, read it, okay? You'll be fine, I promise. When you wake up, I hope you'll decide that becoming a doctor was really not for you and that you'd rather become a musician instead. You are very talented, Joongie."

"Young Saeng-ssi, we would like to get started as soon as possible," Jung Min called from the door. 

"Yes, I will be there in a moment," Young Saeng responded before turning back to Hyun Joong with a light, cheerful smile. "I'll see you soon, 'kay? I love you, Hyun Joong. Forever and for always."

When Hyun Joong regained consciousness, he struggled to open his eyes, only to be greeted by a blinding white light above him. He blinked repeatedly to adjust and turned his head, only to realize that there was a tube in his neck, connecting to his windpipe. He spotted his brother Kyu Jong at his bedside, sleeping soundly with his hand in his. 

His whole body felt weak as he stared blankly back up at the ceiling and sighed into his breathing mask. Soon enough, a doctor walked in and Hyun Joong immediately opened his mouth to ask. "Where's Young Saeng?"

The doctor stopped by his bedside and smiled lightly. "My name is Park Jung Min and I've been assigned to take care of you. Hyun Joong-ssi, I think you were very lucky to have Heo Young Saeng as a lover."

Hyun Joong felt his cheeks heat up and didn't notice that the doctor had used past tense. "Yes, I am. Is he here?"

"He..." the doctor faded off and Hyun Joong noticed a flash of sadness in the latter's eyes. "Here." Jung Min pulled out an envelope from his lab coat pocket and opened it, pulling out a folded piece of paper and handed it to Hyun Joong. 

The patient weakly lifted his hand and took it, struggling to unfold it and slowly, he began to read, tears beginning to wet his pillow with every word he read. 

Joongie-ah,

I love you, you know that? I love you so, so much and I'm willing to do anything for you. I'd even die for you. And who said forever was impossible? I believe it is, even if it is a very long time. 

I love you, and for that reason, I'm sorry. Jung Min-ssi told me that there was no hope for you to live unless you had a heart transplant. But the problem was that he said you were on the waiting list and that there were too many other patients needing a heart transplant. So I volunteered. I knew you would never agree to this so I didn't ask you. Please understand, Joongie. You were on the verge of death and there was nothing more that I wanted than to see you smile. 
From the very beginning, you caught me with your everything. I love your twinkling, innocent eyes, your soft black hair, that clever brain of yours. I loved everything about you, and I still do. 

Please, when I'm gone, don't do anything stupid. I want you to live for both of us, or rather, I want you to live for yourself. You make your own choices, you do what you want to do. You're a grown man and you should know what you really want for your future. I had given you my heart since highschool and you promised that you'd take care of it. I hope that you will keep that promise because now, with my heart in you, we will both live as one. As strange as this may sound, as long my heart is still beating, I'm still alive. And so, I'll always be by your side and I will never, ever leave. 
And when the time comes when my heart beats for another person, you will not need to think of me. I won't be disappointed in you at all, because it will be I who will choose someone for you, it will be I who will make you move on. Don't worry about me, because I will be okay. 

There will be no reason for you to hold back, so don't. Once you are discharged, move on with your life; you can even forget me. But if you can't, just remember that you will always have a shoulder to cry on and that I will always be with you. Consider my heart yours.

I will always love you, Hyun Joong
Heo Young Saeng

By the time Hyun Joong had finished reading the letter, tears were pouring down his face, the pillow on either sides of his head was soaked and he could barely make out any of the words on the paper. Kyu Jong was awake, but hadn't said anything as he watched his beloved brother cry. 

"I'm sorry hyung..." Kyu Jong finally spoke after minutes, for what felt like hours, of listening to the older sob as the latter held the letter close to his chest. "I tried to stop him. He really loved you, hyung. He loved you so much until he was willing to sacrifice his own life."

Only after Hyun Joong had finally settled down into sniffles did Kyu Jong continue speaking. "Hyung, there's something else Young Saeng wanted me to tell you."

The older hiccupped. "Wh-what is i-it?" 

"Don't tire it, don't hurt it, and most definitely, don't kill it. Instead, care for it, nurture it, and last of all, pour a whole lot of love into it."

"What..."

"That's what he wanted me to tell you," the younger brother said, tears burning his eyes. "And before he left, he promised to you and me, and swore on eternity, that he would love you forever. Even if it meant for a long time."

"Kim Hyun Joong, please stand and prepare for your stage."

"You'll be fine," the younger brunette assured, gently rubbing Hyun Joong's back. 

Hyun Joong took a deep breath as he nodded determinedly and took the steps up onto the stage of the competition. His heart was pounding due to nervousness and he exhaled deeply to try to calm himself. If he won this competition, he would have large entertainment companies taking his back and supporting him. If he didn't, he would still be popular, but would never go overseas. The crowd began squeal in excitement at the sight of the handsome man as he walked to the middle of the stage. 

Hyun Joong waved to his fans. "This song I'm going to sing is dedicated to Heo Young Saeng. He was someone who gave his all for the things and the people he loved. I took exams to become a doctor because that's what my parents wanted. But then, I recalled the times he had praised me for my musical talent and told me that I should study music or become a singer. So instead of becoming a doctor, I became a singer. And so... here I am."

"Hyun Joong-ah, you are really talented in music. You can sing, rap, play the piano and guitar."

"That's what a lot of people say, but I need to become a doctor."

"Why?"

"Because of my parents."

"Well, if you really want to, do you want to sing with me for the talent show at the end of the year? Or play guitar for me?"

"Really?

"Yeah, sure. Why not? I think you have a beautiful voice."

He felt the familiar ache in his heart as he told this story again. "It's been almost four years since he passed and now, I really know how amazing love can be. From this experience, I have a message from... my heart to all of you. Life is short so break the rules that bind you, forgive quickly, laugh uncontrollably, love truly, and never regret anything that made you smile. I never regretted loving him because everything he did made me smile. This song will be in English and the Korean translation will be up on the screen. I will start now."

The audience screamed in anticipation, waving their banners in glee. Soon, the music came on and almost immediately, Hyun Joong felt nostalgic and grit his teeth at the sudden urge to cry, not caring if this was a competition to determine his career. "Heo Young Saeng! You'd better be listening!"

"When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind,
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get,
To have you in my life.

When I look back on these days,
I'll look and see your face. 

You were right there for me...

In my dreams I'll always see you
Soar above the sky.
In my heart there'll always be a place for you
In all my life.
I'll keep a part of you with me,
And everywhere I am,
There you'll be.

After the first chorus, Hyun Joong was already on the verge of tears, his knees feeling weak. But strangely, his heart was calm and inside, he felt warm and happy. He closed his eyes and he didn't care if his make up would get ruined. All he wanted was for this song to reach Young Saeng's ears and make him realize how much he really missed him. So with a soft smile on his face, he continued to sing. 

Well, you showed me how it feels
To have the sky within my reach.
And I will always will remember all
The strength you gave to me.
Your love made me make it through,
Oh, I owe so much to you.

You were right there for me..."

When Hyun Joong opened his eyes again to sing the chorus, tears immediately fell from his eyes and the fans began to scream. He turned to his side and there he was. Young Saeng stood before him above the crowds of fans with the sweet dimpled grin that Hyun Joong fell in love with. The singer reached out and smiled as he sang to his first and greatest love. The latter sang with him and took the singer's hand into his, turning to face the crowd. 

"In my dreams I'll always see you 
Soar above the sky.
In my heart there'll always be a place for you 
In all my life.
I'll keep a part of you with me,
And everywhere I am
There you'll be.

Hyun Joong could hear Young Saeng's beautiful angelic voice loud and clear, as if it were a bell ringing right in his ear. This made him remember the countless times he and Young Saeng went to karaoke together and sang their hearts out, and when he and Young Saeng performed for events at school. Hyun Joong felt energy seeping through his hand from his connection with Young Saeng. The nervousness and shaking all immediately went away and his heartbeat slowed into its regular pace as he sang with Young Saeng, feeling reminiscent about old times and letting the loved man beside him lead the way.

'Cause I always saw in you my light,
My strength.
And I want to thank you for all the ways
You were right there for me.
You were right there for me,
For always.

In my dreams I'll always see you 
Soar above the sky.
In my heart there'll always be a place for you 
In all my life.
I'll keep a part of you with me,
And everywhere I am,
There you'll be.

And everywhere I am,
There you'll be.

There you'll be..."

- "There You'll Be" sung by Faith Hill

Finally, when the song ended, Young Saeng had disappeared along with the lights and Hyun Joong had given up his image. Tears were streaming down his face, leaving ugly red streaks and his eyeliner was smudged. Even after he got off stage, he was still staring off into the distance beside him at the place where Young Saeng once was. His heart was pounding, but he felt strangely calm.

"Hyun Joong!" he heard a voice exclaim and he turned to see his boyfriend run to him and hug him tightly. "You did so well..."

"He was there, Hyung Jun," Hyun Joong cried into the latter's shirt. "I saw him. Young Saeng was here with me. He was with me. He was singing with me, cheering me on."

Hyung Jun nodded and rubbed Hyun Joong's back comfortingly. "Yes, and I bet he was happy, Joongie. So very happy."

There was a pause for Hyun Joong suddenly spoke with a hoarse voice. "Thank you, Hyung Jun," the singer suddenly said. 

The younger blinked in surprise. "What are you thanking me for?"

Hyun Joong smiled lightly and hugged him even tighter. "For being so patient."

Hyung Jun sighed as he closed his eyes. "I love you, Joongie-ah. There's no way I'd leave you."

"I love you, too."

"Forever and for always."

Word count: ~3840

*cough cough 

Hmm... Sorry for the 2HJ ending. But I guess most of it was Hyunsaeng... (awkward laugh).

So... what did you guys think? I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm writing so much angst right now. Well, I guess it's not toooooo much. I actually made Hyun Joong die at first and then was like, "wait... Hyun Joong died in the previous chapter already. I shouldn't make him die twice..." 
So sorry... Young Saeng died in this one. I don't know why. I should really make some fluffy chapters, shouldn't I? *sigh.