And I'll never be quite the same as I was before this,
knowing that some part of you still remains,
though it's out of focus

The door creaks open, revealing a man with a black tie and shirt. Typical businessman in the metropolitan city of Seoul. Nonetheless, Jongin still stand out from the other men in city. Such an unforgivable look he got there.

Soojung’s eyes shift to where the sound comes from, just to collide it with the milky brown eyes of his, which people could find a tense and vague fogs surrounding the truth of his emotions. But the way it stares at her, all she could see is just a bare, delightful feeling.

slowly stops munching the strawberry flavoured strings candy which she has been eating since the past minute, as it slowly comes to its stop and swallowing awkwardly. She wonder why she becomes quite as mute like, right now, everytime he comes to her room. Although it’s not the first time he comes.

The air around them become thick and ridiculously awkward, until he crashes it down with a simple hello like he usually does.

“Hi Soojung-ah.” He shortly said hi, with a curt wave and small smile. Which somehow, make his eyes turn tiny and warm. He unhesitatingly marches towards the seat next to her bed.

“Are you feeling better?” He asks her. Unconciously brushing her cheek with the back of his hand, as if it’s automatic for him. Well, it was usual for them. Soojung instantly backed away a little bit, feeling uncomfortable with his gesture. How odd her skins react like that. All tingles, and shivered.

It becomes awkward in the second, and all Jongin could do is just put down his hand and let out a dumb laugh.

“S-sorry. I was just…Uhm..”

“Who are you?” Soojung, eventually, couldn’t get hold of her curiousity anymore. And carelessly blurts those question.

Jongin falls silent. He has been itching to tell her who he was, and what was he in her life all along. But somehow, his tounge being tied by his heart. Holding him to tell her everything. Their life, their relationship, their love…

“I…am.. your friend.” He finally stated. With a deep, hitched breath in the end. However, Soojung doesn’t really buy his answer.

“Is that so? Are we really a friend? Or perhaps, bestfriend?” She asks again doubtfully. Because everything about his presence doesn’t make sense.

Jongin nods, with a short ‘hm’ to make it more convincing. His eyes still lingers on her. Never once in the seconds he shifts his eyes from her.

“But…why I don’t remember you at all?” She stated. Eyes looking into him with no lie or act. Only pure curiosity and innocence. A stung of smothering disappointment surges Jongin’s heart. All he can do is just take a short breathful breath.

“I don’t know…” He mutters mournfully. Truth to be told, he doesn’t know why. And he wants to know why. Why it’s only him, that she doesn’t remember? He has asked her about other people, her friends, even his friends, Sehun, Chanyeol, she still knows them. All of them. But when it comes to him, everything, anything, or any moment that included Jongin in it, she doesn’t remember it. Even just a single of it. She doesn’t remember it. Why, out of all the people, it’s only him? And it has to be him?

Does she really wants to get rid of me from her life?

At the thought of that, his stomatch doing a painful somersault. His throat becomes dry at any moment. And he doesn’t want to let out hoarse, nervous voice to her. Or else she might suspect the lies behind his words. Soojung is always the clever woman.

She stares at him suspiciously, but with Jongin gives nothing but a convincing smile, She just shrugs and let the answer pass to her. Although the doubts still linger inside her heart.

 It’s just that, all of his presence, gives some different effect to her. An impact that she didn’t feel around everybody else. A sensation that she couldn’t define. Even though there’s no skinship at all. What if it comes to skinship then? She wonders. Somehow turns odd with her own question. Her body feels tingles.

Soojung continues to take a bite to her candy. Wander her eyes around the boring, white-tiled room. Examining the abstrack painting around the wall, the niche, and anything else that could prevent her to stumble into his gaze. She just doesn’t want her heart to skip a beat like the moment she stared at his eyes when he arrived back then. It’s disturbing her.

Jongin’s eyes totally fixed on Soojung. The silence between them totally doesn’t give any effect to him, as he examining her from head to toe. Then back again to her face. He wants to capture every little thing of Soojung, as many as he can. The new Soojung.

Have you been alright in these past days?

Were you eating well?

Oh how wonderful if he could ask her those questions directly. But he doesn’t want to scare her off more. His never-absent presence sure already make her feels strange. Only stupid people couldn’t see those eerie emotions that clearly written on her face whenever he took a visit.

“Say, what’s your name once again?” She asks curiously to him. It surely breaks Jongin apart once more.

Even my name? He crumbly whispers in his mind. But with a swift movement, he apparently posting a small smile, and answers her question. Hiding his emotions very well.

“Jongin. Kim Jongin.” Jongin manages to speak without a broken voice. Thank god.

At the moment he blurted those name, Soojung stops munching. Her face turns sour, expressionless. She narrows her eyes to him, with unreadable expressions. Jongin begins to panic with the sudden mood swing. Just at the second he wants to ask if she’s okay, Soojung already cut him.

“I-I’m okay. It’s just, my head...” She mumbles.

“It’s throbbing…” Jongin’s eyes become alert. He instantly get up from his seat, wanting to call the doctor, or a nurse, or anyone. Who could examine her as soon as possible. Oh he doesn’t want anything happen to her. He won’t let it. But Soojung catches his sleeve, forbid him to get up.

“I’m okay. It’s slowly fading.” She instantly replies him, doesn’t want him to be worried. Doubtful expression plastered on his face. Soojung gives a reassuring face in return, and eventually, Jongin hesitantly sit back to his seat.

The room turns quite, filled with Jongin’s anxiety as his eyes bore to her. And Soojung discomfort twirling in the air, by the stares that jongin sent to her. It all disturbed when the door creaks open, revealing the older sister with a bunch of plastic bags of groceries. Jongin instantly helps her bringing those. They’re saved by the bells.

“Eung? Jongina you came?” Sooyeon asks cheerfully. He replies with a smile.

“Wait, what time is it?” Sooyeon bring her wrist up, checking the time which says ‘8.45a.m’

“It’s freaking eight forty-five and you still here?!” She frantically asks Jongin, with a astonished expression. Confuse Jongin much.

“Err..yes?” All he can do is just mutter a yes.

“You ought to be in office right now if I’m not mistaken.” She sarcastically replied with hands crossing with each other. Completely pissed with the younger one delinquent attitude. Jongin’s confused expression instantly replaced by a knowing face. As he let out an ‘aaaah..’ mumbles.

“Well, a little bit late wouldn’t hurt.” Jongin just simply shrugged. He’s the boss, who could nag the boss for being late?

Her expressions become more dumfounded. Stated, ‘are you kidding me?’

“You. Out. Now.” She says firmly. A glint of protest showed clearly in his face.

“But noona-“

“No buts.” She cuts him, as she drags him to the outside. Sooyeon sighs delightfully when she manages to push him out. There goes her strict-sister syndrome.

Today is the day that Soojung will be discharged from the hospital. And she couldn’t be more eager to hurry arrived at home and start doing her work again. Sketching, painting, and anything that relates to drawing. She has been itching to touch her canvas once again. It feels like eternity in this boring hospital.

The bandage around her head already being put off, only left a square tiny cotton on her forehead. The soreness around her body already lessened as the time passed. She feels very relieved on that. Her eppetite raising like she always have from before once she woke up from her comma. And her craving for waffles and ice cream keep bugging her non-stop. How wonderful it will be when she arrives at home.

Sooyeon busily packing her and Soojung’s stuffs. Not allowing Soojung to help her at all. Although Soojung actually can help her, and she has been protesting to help, but Sooyeon still demands her to sit and doing nothing. Well, being the lazy Jung as she always been, Soojung stay quite obediently as her eyes keep following her sister movements.

“Eonnie, I can help, really.” She boredly offering her. Sooyeon just ignore her and keep stuffing the clothes into their bag. After she finished, she suddenly looks confused, travelling her eyes to the room.

“Wait, where’s my phone?” Soojung shrugs. How the hell she would know where her phone is? She didn’t even see it.

“Oh right in my pocket.” Sooyeon sheepishly realized her own foolishness and snatches her phone from her back pocket. Just to get roll of eyes from Soojung. Nonetheless, Soojung still approaching her petite sister and take a peek to her phone screen.

“Who are you calling?” She curiously asks.

“Jongin. I haven’t told him that you’re being discharged today.” With that one name, her head suddenly get a twitch of pain. Again. As if her brain being prickled by a tiny needles. Unconciously, her hand grabs her sister’s arm, stopping her to dial Jongin’s number.

“Don’t!”

Sooyeon looking at her sister with perplexed expression.

“Why?”

Soojung inhales an air, managing the sudden headache to fade away. “Just, don’t.”

Sooyeon stares at her sister face. Wondering why on earth Soojung will forbid her to call her lover to come around. Well he was her lover. And Sooyeon knows that Soojung’s memories about him are all gone. But still…It feels odd for her.

“O-okay.” Sooyeon finally gives in. Even though the confusion still lingers inside her mind. But the look inside Soojung’s face undeniedly serious. There’s no way Sooyeon would not grant her wish with that look plastered on her. No matter what’s the reason behind that. And she determines to find out. Sooner or later.

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Jongin runs trough the stairs, with huffing breath, he keeps running till the fifth floor, where Soojung’s room located. Curse the broken elevator for not working, or else he could meet Soojung in any minute. Racing with the night curfew to visit the patients, Jongin aimlessly ignoring his exhaustion. Wanting to see Soojung as soon as possible, even just for a minute.

Just a step from the door, Jongin halts his body. Take a few breath and tidying his tie and clothes. He doesn’t want Soojung to look at him in a messy condition. Reminicing the moment when she woke up days before. His tie running loosely, messy hair, face damp with sweats, how embarrassing.

He turns the handle door, face with a happy emotions, ready to meet Soojung handsomely. But it all turns into frown when he finds out an empty bed and a folded blanket.

Wait, what?

….

Where is she?!

His mind processing for a seconds. A panic surges his mind. The thought of Soojung leaving him again filling his head like a parade. Oh no, he doesn’t want to live his life like the past two years again, lonely and hollow like that. Without a second thought, he instantly dials Sooyeon noona’s number.

His teeth biting his lower lips impatiently, as he waits for the other line to pick up. His face brightened when the familiar voice says hello to him.

“Hello?”

“Noona! “

“Oh Jongina! Why are you calling?” She cheerfully asks.

“I’m in the hospital right now, and Soojung is not here. Is she already discharged? I thought you promised to call me when she is!” Jongin speaks to the point, with whining voice from start to end. Being a straightforward person he is.

Sooyeon a little bit startled with his outburst. Although it’s not a new experience for her to get a whines from him. She bites her lips, wondering what she should say to him. As her foot tapping impatiently. It’s impossible right to tell him that Soojung asked her not to? She knows it will break his heart.

“I-I’m sorry, I…forgot…” An annoyed chuckles could be heard from the other line.

“Haigoo, noona you wasted my energy.” Jongin mumbles to her.

“Hehe…Mian…” Sooyeon gradually lower her voice, knowing Soojung is watching her curiously right now from the sofa. She doesn’t even know why she does that. It’s just, somewhat odd…

“I’ll call you later kay? Byee!” CLICK!

Jongin buttons up his blazer. Preparing himself for this evening event. Today is 23^rd of September, the date where he suppose to come to the dinner invitation.

He take his comb, combing his hair to the back. Revealing his forehead clearly. A few strand of naughty hair coming back down to the front. But Jongin doesn’t really care. Let it be, giving a touch of masculiness to his face. He usually will use a little bit hair gel. But somehow he doesn’t want to dress up more nicely for tonight. Or maybe he’s just lazy. Typical man with youthful heart.

To be honest, he actually have no desire to attend this dinner. Insteand he’s actually had planned to take a visit to Soojung’s. But it all ruined by this so-called-friendship dinner. But he couldn’t give a damn about it. It’s his responsibility after all. The consequence entering this high class business of his father. He’s more eager to spend a dinner in Jung’s if he’s being honest. But maybe, the Jung visit should be postponed for a while.

After he finished, he takes his Mercedes car’s key, and headed to the garage. Starts the engine, and speed off to the Crestoast Barlet Restaurant.

Face of people that more older than him greet him enthusiastically as he enters the VVIP room for selected guest. He instantly put his professional smile on his face.

He could see the owner of Empire Company and the chief manager, along with their wives. He suddenly feels awkward being the youngest in this place.

Crap, I should have bring along Jongdae and Minseok hyung with me. Jongin grunts in his mind.

“Soojung-ah could you please open the door?!!” Sooyeon shouts from downstairs.

“Whaat?!!” Soojung replies. She didn’t really catch her sister’s voice. Only catches her name was being called.

“Open the door!!” The elder shouts once again, as the doorbell ringin for the third time.

Soojung doesn’t really care, really. She’s being to preoccupied with her newest painting right now. And it’s at the moment where she’s putting the color carefully to the canvas. And if she’s working right now, other things become invicible for her.

“SOOJUUUUNGGGGG!!!!!!” Sooyeon screams with all of her lungs.

“Urgh…fine” Soojung grunts. Perfect timing sister….She was almost smeared the blue one. Thankfully she backed off her hand in time. And with full annoyance, she walks downstairs, approaching the bathroom.

“WHAT?!” She yells with an angry knock to the door.

“DON’T WHAT ME! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! IT HAS BEEN RINGING SINCE THEN!!!” Sooyeon yells back to her. Cleary pissed off by the younger one bratty attitude. Soojung flinches by her sister’s shrill voice.

“Okay , okay geez…I’ll get it..” With a lazy step, she just instantly opens the door. Didn’t see the guest first from the intercom.

Her breath stops at the moment she catches the guest’s face.

“Annyeong Soojung-ah.” A thousand dollar smile plastered on the man’s face. The smile that she knows very well. Soojung becomes lost of words, It has been a long time she hasn’t see him anymore.