I don't deserve you . . I don't deserve you . . I don't deserve you . .

Chaerin couldn't understand why he would say this, why did he phrase it like that? Did he think that lowly of himself? She wasn't perfect either, Hell! She was far from perfect.

Remembering that Jiyong had reserved a table for two, she decided not to go, with all that had happened, she wouldn’t be able to face him . . just yet. She called for a room service, finding that she didn't have the appetite to eat anymore, she cuddled her pillow as she stared at the ceiling, replaying this dialogue over and over, like a broken tape record.

She felt like her mind would explode from all the thinking she had been doing the whole day, sleeping had never come easy for her and to top that off, her mind was boggled with infinite questions which she couldn't even ask as she lost her voice when he quietly walked away.

It seemed like ages, when truly it had been a few hours since he said the words which created a deep crate in Chaerin's mind, she decided to sleep it off, but no longer could since the sun was already up and bright. For the first time in her life, she didn't know what to do next, she had always been a planner, a doer, but now, she didn't even know who she was anymore or what she wanted. Grabbing the Burberry jacket she brought from earlier, she flew out of her room, heading towards the room she assumed was his. Feeling stupid and ambitious, she knocked on the door and called out his name. Her eyes shot up as soon as the door opened and there stood her biggest nemesis, well! Not exactly, but it was close enough. Kiko . . .

"Chaerin . . . " the girl said, closing the door behind her as she stepped out into the corridor, not making any space for Chaerin to squeeze inside.

"I need to talk to him. Excuse me-" Chaerin lightly shoved the other girl's shoulder, but stumbled back when the latter caught her arm and shook her head.

"Don't . ."

"What is your problem Kiko?" Chaerin snapped, she was angry and irritated. She didn't have time to be polite anymore.

"You're hurting him." the girl said, lowering her gaze, like she could actually empathize with his feelings, "Leave him alone Chaerin. If you really love him."

If . .

Chaerin scoffed, unable to digest the fact that of all people .  . She was giving a lecture on ‘love’. What was her problem? She couldn’t put a finger on, but she assumed, she knew something from the way she spoke. With lips pressed into a thin line, Chaerin watched as the girl rub her puffy-morning eyes and thought hard.

"He is a mess, he'd always been a mess. You called yourself his friend but did you really even know him?" she asked, Chaerin rolled her eyes at her ridiculousness but stood silent. As much as she wanted to just wave her off and barge in, she wanted to hear what she had to say. "I understand him because we've been in the same place, while you were too busy in your own perfect little world. I'm not trying to pull you down, because I know I'll never be half the person you are.." Kiko sighed but continued.

“Just what is your point?” Chaerin asked, incredulously.

"Just like everyone else you thought his life was perfect, but you know? It's not . . . he drank, h-he did drugs, he smoked, he . . .h-he Slept around." she shook her head and shrugged, pushing her hair away from her forehead. "He had money and power, he just didn't have anyone to share that with and. . He never thought he was good enough." When she noticed the confused face on Chaerin, she squeezed her shoulder lightly and gave her a smile.

"W-Why?" Chaerin mumbled. Everything she was saying didn't make sense to her. What did all his wrong doings have to do with how he was and behaved? But then again, she'd never tried to see things from his point of view, she only tried to make him stop, be a better person, blame him for being spoilt without actually trying to look beneath the surface and try and be there for him, which she obviously wasn't because she was sulking and complaining about her relationship with Hyunjoong, asking for comfort instead of giving one.

"He never thought he deserved the success he got and after all the fame, came the pressure to maintain that spot. Chaerin . . “ she let out a soft sigh, “. .  he was lonely. He thought inflicting himself with all the things he did, he could attain some kind of happiness, fight his loneliness. But, it never really worked. And now, he's trying to undo all the things he'd done by trying to repay everyone for the wrongs he'd done to them. I being one of them." Kiko said, eyes glimmering, "He didn't need to . . Cause I . . " she stopped midway,

She loved him . .

Chaerin thought, feeling a sense of guilt and sympathy for her, also keeping in mind that all that Kiko was trying to do, was help him mend himself, fix what was left of him. The said one took in a deep breath and waved her hand dismissing herself, "He thinks he's unworthy of everything he's achieved."

How come I never noticed anything? Chaerin thought as she nibbled her lip and stared at her feet, shuffling from one to another.

"-And in case you're wondering how you never noticed . ." the girl said, startling Chaerin by precisely voicing out her thoughts as if she could actually read her mind, "He puts up a strong front, anybody could fall for that. But . . For you-" she put her hand on Chaerin's shoulder, "I think he tries his best to hide his insecurities in front of you especially . .  Because . . " she trailed off, kicking off the imaginary dirt from her shoes.

"Because . . ?"

"Because . . " she smiled, "Well! That's for you to find out Chaerin."

Chaerin walked back to her room with a weird feeling brewing inside her, she couldn’t understand how she looked past all that.

The song he wrote; the one he sang to her. It all made sense now.

‘Leave me alone
I was alone anyway
I have no one, everything is meaningless
Take away the sugar-coated comfort
Tonight, I’ll be crooked’

Tears dropped from her eyes unwittingly and she wiped them with the back of her hand. Whatever that was going through his mind, she wanted to know . . she wanted to be a part of. She wanted to remind him how special he is, how beautiful he is, inside and out. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she made up her mind, feeling determined now. She knew exactly what she had to do, no more playing games, no more beating around the bush. Quickly packing her stuff into her newly brought LV duffel bag, she set out of the room after a long look at the corridor leading to Jiyong's room. After so much confusion, this was the only time she knew what she was going to do.

Jingyo Oppa!

I got you . . .

Author's note:

Hello everybody~

Missed me? Keke
This chapter is just, well, you know... A filler for what will happen and why Jiyong acted the way he did in the previous chapter. Hm.
It made me wonder, what made him write such a sad song.. like seriously. I really hope he doesn't feel that in in reality.
And Kiko, she's not a bad person. ( I don't like creating evil characters. )
 

PS- I'm just writing along with the flow since I don't have any chapters written before hand. I hope it doesn't too much. Or if it ... just tell me, and I'll stop writing this story, because I don't want to disappoint.

With Love~

E