He flipping some pages that scrabbling all along in the table. He already take off his school shirt and make him only use a black T-shirt as he try to calculating numbers and translate some words from the paper in his hands. He use his black framed glasses, the odd thing that no one ever seen except his mom. He sigh a little as he lift his head and found there still so many papers that he should check before he home.

It’s already three weeks since the day he discovers a place called Desiderate. A place that quiet odd but left a nice memories for him that never have know world really well. He really wants to back into that place for sure, but he never has any chance. His day after school is spent for works in his dad office. Even he still in his senior year, he like to come to the company and give a hand toward his mom to finish some works. He usually comes only at the time when his mom ask him, which is like once in a month, but now not. These past three weeks his mom like to tell their private driver to pick him up from school and drive him to the company straight, give him some papers to check afterward which actually make him only have free times almost nine at night.

He laid his back on his seat and turns the chair so it faced the wide glass window behind him. The building is consist of thirty two story, and his room is actually at the eighteen floors, which makes him can get a quiet nice view of the city.  He sigh a little as he see at the sky from the window, dark and already rain outside. He can hear the water that clattering quiet hard toward the glass window and make it a rhythm of the rain. He can see how the water moves swiftly down to the ground from the grayish sky.

The situation just reminds him to the older.

He sigh a little as he start to stand from his seat. He has his hands on his trousers pocket. He stands on his place and look at the glass window slowly before he walks closer to the glass. He stops feet away and he can see how his warm breath make the glass slight dewy because of it. He look at it for a second before walk forward again so he only inch apart from the glass window before he open his mouth and start to blew his warm breath toward the glass. He makes dewy glass from it and stops when he thinks it already enough. He lifts his right hand and with his fore finger he starts to write slowly on the dewy glass.

I miss you… Gaem…

----

“I think your mom know about it Changmin.”

Changmin lift his head from his physic text book while he busying himself by drawing some doodles and write some silly poetic words. He looks at Yoochun who turn his chair toward Changmin as he eats the younger lunch slowly. He look at the older questioningly “What are we talking about?”

“Desiderate.” Yoochun whispering slowly, because of course, he won’t anyone know about it, about if the two ever come into a place like a e house, even it not really like that kind of place “I feel like she know if we go there a month ago”

Changmin laugh slowly as he close his text book and put it inside his backpack “Don’t be silly hyung, she’s even home at eleven that day.”

“But don’t you thing all this things are weird!?” Yoochun says as he fully his mouth with the last spoon. He chews it slowly and take a sip of mineral water before he close the lunch box at give it back to the younger since it his “these past three weeks—no—a month, he makes you go to company straight and give you some works to do, she even not let you take public transportation!”

Changmin just look at the older like he tries to solve and understand what he just says. He thought about it slowly, about his mom after that day makes him being driven to school by the private drivers, she also makes him being picked up from school on time and go to the company right away. He remember how his mom tell him to do the work straight and should finish on time, which makes him no time left for things about another things beside his school works and his company’s problem. The proofs already there, but he won’t jump into the finish line just by that.

Changmin just smile slowly toward the older before he crossed his hands over his desk and laid his head on his side over it. He tries to avoid the subject by mumbling slowly “I’m sleepy hyung….” And fake his yawn before start to close his eyes.

Yoochun only look at the younger with annoyed face before he grumbling slowly “Tsk! Sleepyhead!”

----

“You look bored these days.” Hyuna says slowly as she looking in front of her where there some people passing by.

He talks toward the guy beside him that seems lost into his own world since they arrived at the park near the place where they should be in two hours. the man has his eyes close and only humming a random notes slowly, not even care to what the older says toward him, even he know if she actually ask about his condition.

“You miss him don’t you?”

“No.”

“Really?”

“Positive”

The man answer every question without open his eyes. He says every word with the same plain tone and left no expression on it. Hyuna just sigh and laid her back on the bench where they sit for already half hour. She sigh a little as she look at above them where the tree is has a nice green color, since its early spring.

“When he come that day, I thought, he’ll change your thought about life and love a little bit Kyu” Hyuna says in low tone as the wind blows around them and make her close her eyes when it touch her skin in nice way “I know just by seeing him, if he’s different.”

“He has his own way to express his feeling and to explain and tell about the world. About how seeing the life and people from an unique point of view.” Hyuna giggle slowly with still her eyes close, which make the man beside him open his eyes and turn his head to face her in silent. She tries to remember how the younger explain about the man of his dream in his life “maybe, if a place like Neverland really exist, he must be come from that place.”

‘Your eyes are so beautiful, like a mixed of honey-hazel and stardust.’

Kyu turn his head back slowly toward his shoes on the ground. He held his own hands and tangled it toward each other as he remember the words that he hears a month ago, which makes something weird feeling come into his mind as like butterflies flipping madly inside his stomach.

It’s nice, really, to hear sweet words from someone that you just know from less than hour, when he describes about your eyes. He never received something like that in his life. He already live for twenty two years, but it’s the first time he hears about someone says his eyes just a perfection of stardust. From his experience by spending his free time at Desiderate, most of the guy that already being his client are never really says sweet things like the younger, they more like to just get into the point, to what they wanna do toward him.

Kyu stand from his feet and put his hands inside his pocket. He not turns his head toward Hyuna who look at him questioningly from where she sits. “I want to get around a little…” before leave the older to only stare at his back who slowly leave the park.

----

Changmin is still flipping some pages from the file in his room. It’s Friday, and that means he’ll has two days free afterward because his mom always let him to not go into the company at weekend. He still stuck in his bedroom, reading some paper even it’s already late. He already done his school work right after he’s home from school, and he decide he will finish all his work from his mom so he can has free time on weekend. He lifts his head a little bit as he hears someone open his bedroom door.

“You haven’t sleeping yet?” his mom closes the door behind as she walk slowly into his bed and sit there. She’s seeing changmin who still seriously do his work on his desk “don’t forcing yourself Changmin.”

Changmin only humming as an answer. He can hear his mom sigh slowly before he can hear her step around the room and stops on the bookshelves in his room, to see some picture of them with his dad when he still alive. He stops checking the paper for awhile and turn his head toward his mom. He can see her gaze toward the picture slowly, which is always showing how she misses his dad.

Changmin turn off the desk lamp and take off his glasses as she walk over to his mom and stand beside her. His mom is glancing a little to him before he back to see the picture again.

“Tomorrow, I have an invitation for a garden party. Do you want to come?” His mom says suddenly and makes Changmin think about it. Tomorrow is one of his free days when his mom is not around. He already tells Yoochun to sneaking him out from house and brings him to desiderate before. He just want to answer it but his mom cut him off first “you already work hard this month Min. I thought it’s better for you to have fresh air. I know you never like to talk about business with my colleague, but at least you can have the food there. Lots of food”

Changmin get into silent as he hears what his mom says. Sneaking out from house is just like a one chance from all your life when you have an over protective mother, but then he hear what his mom says, and her tone when she says that, he doesn’t has any heart to say no toward his mom. He smile a little and nods “Yeah, I guess, that wasn’t a bad idea.”

He turns his head and found if his mom smile toward him. His mom hugs him for awhile before she breaks the hug and walk toward the door. She opens it and stop halfway on the doorway before turn her head and smile “I know, I can trust you Changmin.” Before leave the room.

Changmin just stare at the closed door before he put his gaze back on the picture in front of him. He sighs a little and gets into his bed right away, forgetting about his unfinished work, since he can continue it tomorrow morning. He text Yoochun if he can go tomorrow, and tell the older no need to come into his house. Yoochun just answer with understatement since he already knows Changmin’s mom character is.

Changmin put his phone on the bed beside his pillow as he stare blankly at the ceiling. He thinking about his mom words before that kinda make him uncomfortable when she said she trust him, because a month ago, he just lie to her. He sighs a little before turn his body and make him look under his bed and take a shoe box from under it. He bring the shoe box on his bed and open it before take a masquerade mask that he know very well. He put the shoe box on the floor and back into sleep position on his side and hold the mask in his hand, before close his eyes and sleep in no time.

----

The place is quiet crowd and makes Kyu only hold a drink in his hand as he sit on one of the chair, quiet far from the crowd. He only sees at people in front of him as he keep sipping slowly to the drink in his hand.

He is a backyard of someone house, that his dad would like to call his colleague, who held a kind of garden party. Actually Kyu not interested in this kind of thing, because it’s Saturday and that’s mean he has plenty of time to play games till late night, because he not need to go to Desiderate, but since his sister can’t join his parents, his dad drag him along to join the occasion.

So, he’s here now, near the swimming pool on the bright spring night which he supposed at home and playing games. He doesn’t know where his parent is, because he really not cares. The time when he arrived, his dad likes to introduce him with some of his colleague, and so his mom who like to bring him join the talk with some wife. But then his parents seem forgot about him and make him easily get away from them. It’s not that Kyu can join the conversation, he can for sure, because he also do some works sometimes in his dad company, but then it just  not his things.

He just doesn’t like to talk between old man and lady when he’s the only younger one. And he kind of hate it when most of them try to introduce him toward their daughters. Not that they ugly or something, but girls is not his thing.

Kyu already emptied the glass in his hand and put it on the table beside him when suddenly his eyes catch someone talks with his dad in the crowd. Even somehow the place it’s makes him quiet hard to see him, but he can easily recognize the one that talking with his dad because he quiet taller that the other person around him.

Changmin.

Kyu widen his eyes and stand from his feet before turn his body right away. He tries to walk randomly and leave the place quiet far, so his parents or Changmin wouldn’t find him. He walk to the small garden quiet far from the swimming pool, where the place is actually empty, but unfortunately, his mom seeing him.

“Where are you going Kyu?”

Kyu close his eyes and gritted his teeth to less his panic. He takes a deep breath before turn his head toward his mom and pointing at the garden six feet away from him with his fore finger. His mom follows his fingers find where he’s pointing at and walk slowly toward him before take his elbow with her and drag him back to the crowd.

“No, no, you can’t run Kyu-ie, unfortunately no.”

He can’t run away when his mom held his elbow quiet hard and make him only follow her back between people. He put his gaze down onto his feet as he can feel the crowd already surround him. His heart is thumping quiet fast as he still can feel his mom drag him to somewhere. He feels like he just want to jump himself inside the swimming pool and die right away when he can see his dad shoes from the ground. His mom stops walking, and so he is.

.

“Ah, this is my wife, she’s beautiful isn’t she?” Kyu can hear his dad says about his mom and laugh.

Kyu still has his head down and his gaze on the shoes around him. He can see if there’s also another woman shoes beside his mom’s, he hope the one that talk to his dad now is actually a woman.

“It’s a honor to meet you Mrs. Cho.” A woman voice come but then Kyu raised one of his eyebrows when he realize there’s another shoe beside the woman’s who is actually not his dad “and this is my son, he’s still in his senior year.”

Oh, great, just kill him already.

“Really? Oh, you look so mature young man, and tall.” He can see his mom slight laugh between her words. Kyu close his eyes and still has his head down. He not gonna lift his head ever because he know the one that stand in front of him right now even he not seeing him.

“And this is my son, he just graduate from college…” Kyu’s mom turns his head toward his son who still not lift his head. His mom whisper to him to lift his head and face the person in front of him, but then Kyu still has his head down “he sometimes help my husband at work.”

“Oh, so do I ma’am” the voice come from in front of Kyu, and make him pretty sure about someone in front of him now because he remember the voice.

Kyu bite his bottom lip because he just doesn’t know what he supposed to do now, besides running away from this place in second. Suddenly Kyu widen his eyes as he sees a hand already offered in front of his to take. He stares at the hand, and his mom already nudges him with her elbows before he take the hand and lift his hand slowly.

“Hello, I’m Chan—“ the owner of the hand says as Kyu lift his head slowly but he stops right away the time when he see his face actually “—eh?”

----

Changmin sit on the chair next to the door that connects to the kitchen from the backyard. He already on backyard of someone, that his mom likes to call as her colleague. He being greeted by some people before, because his intensity to work at his dad company is quiet high makes some people already know him well. Moments ago his mom told him if it’s okay for him to leave the conversation and find food instead, which of course he happily says yes.

He’s here now, alone with a small plate of sushi. It’s his second time of sushi after he takes bagels, muffins, and some fruits before. He enjoying himself with the food and not even care to others. Once or twice, there will some girls come over around him and introduce their self and most of them are daughters from his mom colleagues. But again, he not really interest, because he not into girls. Some of the girls leave right away when they realize if Changmin is not really pay attention toward them, because he keep his focused only on his food, which actually makes Changmin relieve in silent because that’s mean no one annoy his time with his food.

He wipe the corner of his mouth with tissue before he stand to get another food on the table, but then his eyes catch his mom who smile at him and waving his hand at him, giving him a sign to come over at her place. Changmin sigh a little before he put the plate on the table and walk toward his mom in second.

There’s this man, old man. He look like in the mid of his fifty. He uses a quiet thick glasses and his hair is almost turn all white. He smiles toward Changmin when he look at the younger who already stand beside his mom. Changmin smile toward him and bows his head a little.

“This is my son, Mr. Cho, Changmin, he’s still in High school” his mom says with a smile as she rubs behind Changmin’s back.

“Oh, so you are the one who always help her job perfectly young man?” the old man laugh and pat Changmin shoulder. Changmin only can smile and laugh awkwardly toward him who talk about his work “actually you doing very well for someone in high school.”

“Well, that’s actually nothing Sir, my mom it’s actually the one who always correct it and make it better.” Changmin says slowly and make the old man laugh.

“He’s totally a copy of you.” The old man says toward Changmin’s mom, and both of them laugh slowly which makes Changmin smile a little.

It’s quiet long time since the last time he sees his mom laugh. His mom is kind of person that always has a serious aura and never get a joke very well, especially after his dad die. He also remember how people like to says if he has a personality like his mom and looks like his dad, but then sometimes he’s not sure about that, because he always thought, he never like his mom at all since he was born.

A woman comes from behind the old man suddenly. She uses a navy blue dress as her hair is knots into a bun neatly over his head, with flowers on its side. She use a light make up and make look very her beautiful in her age which might be look like at the end of her forty.

“Ah, this is my wife, she’s beautiful isn’t she?” the man says as he laughs slowly.

“It’s an honor to meet you Mrs. Cho.” Changmin’s mom takes her hand and shook it as they introduce their self.

Changmin look at her slowly until he realize there’s already someone stand beside her, but he more look like hide behind her body. He has that slight wavy brown hair and quiet pale skin that Changmin know from how pale his hands that being held by the woman. He must be the son of this couple, but then he still held his head down like he has a shy personality.

“And this is my son, he’s still in his senior year.” Changmin take his gaze away from the man in front of him that still has his gaze down when he can feel his mom rubs behind his back slowly and take his attention. He looks at the woman who smiles at him and takes her hand and shook it.

“Really? Oh you look so mature young man and tall.” The woman slips a quiet laugh between his words which make Changmin rubs behind his neck awkwardly because of her words.

“And this is my son, he just graduate from college…” Changmin turn his gaze back at the man in front of him. He still has his gaze down, and because he is shorter than him, Changmin can’t even seeing his face even a little bit, only the brown lock that must be quiet soft to be touch. Changmin can hear the woman tell her son to lift his head, but he doing nothing than stare at the ground “he sometimes help my husband at work.”

“Oh, so do I ma’am” Changmin reply slowly with a smile.

He look at the man in front of him who not moving. He can see how the woman beside him already nudges his side so he can lift his head, but then an idea come into Changmin as he take his hand and offer it to the shorter to take. “Hello, I’m Chan—“

Changmin stops right away when actually the man lift his head slowly. He’s not wrong when he thought the man has pale skin, because it really is pale. Changmin’s eyes getting wider when he recognizes the face of this man, especially those eyes that look like honey-hazel and stardust.

Gaem.

“—eh?” the only word that come from him after silent for minutes.

The silence suddenly fills up the air around them. They parents stare into each other before back at the two, while their son still not moving. Changmin who still has his hand waiting to be takes, and the other who stay silent as he look at him.

“You guys know each other!?”

“YES!/NO!” both Changmin and Kyu says together in second when Kyu’s dad asks which makes their parents looking at them more weirdly.

Kyu quickly turns his head toward Changmin and give him a kind of sign with his eyes, even Changmin not really get it. Kyu turn his head toward thir parents and shook his head quiet fast "No, we're not know each other."

"Oh, yeah right... we actually never met before..." Changmin says in a slight weird tone which make Kyu want to slaps his head for being stupid by saying 'Yes' before. Because of course Kyu doesn't want to make his parents know about when and where they met, or even worse, Changmin over protective mother always find out what his son do, which he's sure will make this little things becoming quiet serious.

“So why don’t you introduce yourself toward each other then?” Changmin mom says sweetly and makes Kyu nods slowly before facing the taller.

Kyu look at Changmin hand that still waits in front of him to take. Kyu swallow his own saliva slowly before take the hand and shook it “Kyu… Cho Kyuhyun.”

Changmin quiet shock with the shorter act, but then, he remembers what he must say next “Shim Changmin.”

They take their hands away and avoid each other gaze. Their parents look at them weirdly before start the conversation back. Changmin turn silent, but once or twice he likes to steal a glance toward Kyu who like to avoid his gaze. Whenever their eyes accidentally met, they will turn their head away and pretend like there’s nothing.

“Uh…” Changmin rubs behind his neck awkwardly “Is it fine if I left for food, beside, I never got what adult like to talk about.”

“Hahaha, you can leave son, and no need to be so formal anyway.” Mr. Cho says with a laugh. Changmin bow his body toward him and his wife before he kisses his mom cheeks. He also bows his head to Kyu who still not look at him before he left and find some food.

Just minutes after Changmin left Kyu also excuse himself to leave, because he actually never interested into adult talk just like Changmin. He bows his body toward his parent and Changmin’s mom before leave the place.

He knows he mustn’t go into this place since the first time. He should just force his sister to go join his parents instead of dating with his boyfriend. But in the end, he can’t do nothings because everything already happens. Kyu walk randomly between the crowds. He actually decides to get into his first destination, is a garden far behind, which quiet deserted. He get his feet walk pass the swimming pool and want to go at the garden right away, when he catch a glimpse of someone sit on the ground alone.

It’s Changmin, he sits on the ground with a plate that full of food beside him as he eat it one by one. Kyu look at the garden for awhile, before back to the other and sigh. In the end, he decides to walk to Changmin and sit beside him.

“You are no joke about getting the food.”

Changmin turn his head in second when he hear someone talk to him. He widen his eyes slowly when he realize whose talking. He moves a little to his right when Kyu get into the ground join him there to sit. He leaving gap between them and put his gaze into his shoe.

“You know, honestly, I never expect we gonna met here.” Kyu says slowly as he put his gaze up and stares at the clear night sky “If I know we will meet here, I wouldn’t ever take off my mask and give it to you.”

Changmin still has his gaze on his shoes. He takes his knee to his chest and hug it slowly. Kyu look at him and found if his position is just like a kid and make him smile in second when he found that. He sigh a little “I hope you not tell anyone about Gaem.”

“Why?” Changmin’s mumbling slowly.

“Because he’s not real.” Kyu says slowly as his eyes look in front of him blankly “he just a perfection of someone who never being perfect. Just kind of an avatar of me, not real.”

Changmin lift his head and turn to his left to see at Kyu who look blankly at the grass in front of them. Kyu not moving like he try to picturing something in his head, imagining. Changmin still stare at the older from his side, enjoying the other face that never change and always looking good in his eyes. He looks at the clear sky and smile.

“But how if I already in love with him?”

“Love at first sight? Ridiculous.” Kyu says with sarcastic tone and a smirk without look at the younger.

“No, not at the first sight, beside there’s no love at the first sight anyway. There’s only an attraction at the first sight.” Changmin says simply. He still has his head up and now his hands behind him on the grass support his body. He already forgets about his food on his side, he can eat it later anyway.

Kyu’s staring at Changmin now. Seeing how the younger lift his head. He’s thinking about Changmin’s word about attraction. Its’ the first time for him to hear about that, because most of thing that he hear all his life it’s only love at first sight that he always find silly, because that’s impossible to love at someone just by seeing him a second. But attraction, maybe it is.

“So, you’re a dumb person then to love someone who never there.” Kyu says slowly as he joins Changmin to see the sky. He looks at the stars which suddenly remind him of stardust “remember, he’s not real Changmin-ah”

Changmin face turn into frown suddenly. He takes his head down and tapping his chin with his finger. He thinking about something “So, how if actually I never in love with Gaem, but you?”

“No.” Kyu says in second, with plain tone “you never in love with me, and if you do, I’ll never love you back.”

Changmin look at the older slowly. Looking how Kyu close his eyes and see how long his eyelashes are. He can see Kyu’s lips slight open and make a small smoke out from it. He remembers that lips, the lips that feels soft in his hands, the lips that must be feels sweet if he touches with his own. He takes his gaze away in second because he know, if he staring at the older more longer, he can do something that inappropriate later.

“Why?”

“Because we’re in Korea Changmin.” Kyu open his eyes and fix his sit position. He change his sit position into cross legged and he put his head down and stare at his own hand that tangled together “We’re not in New York where gay people can freely out hand in hands and get married, or San Francisco, where you can easily tell everyone if you’re gay.”

“People are cruel Changmin, no, the world is cruel. Even here it’s legal to have same activity, but still, people will talk behind your back about that.” Kyu stops halfway and she close his eyes again like he try to think what he should say next “Living with a stares and whispers about you is worse than being beaten up, you know.”

There’s silence between them after Kyu finish talking. Changmin only stare at the older with his mouth is slight agape as he try to understand the point of Kyu’s words. Slowly but sure he realizes the major point of his words. He’s scared. Kyu is scared for being gay. Not that kind of scared like when you see a ghost or something, but scare of people around him who might leave him wfter he come out. He scared of facing people who being homophobic outside there. In conclusion, he scared of being alone and hated for just being who he really is.

Changmin turn his head to his feet slowly and smile in silent when he finally understands the words. He nods in silent and make Kyu look at him weirdly.

“But how if I make you love me? I know if the world is cruel for people like us, but how if we faced it together?” Changmin smile slowly as he laid his hands over Kyu’s on the ground “how if I make you love me and so we can face the world together? It’s better right than faced it alone? And I’m not talking about Gaem, but Cho Kyuhyun who beside me now”

Kyu stares at Changmin eyes and found how serious he is about his words. Kyu quickly turn his head round and see, worried if there’s anyone spotted them and seeing how Changmin’s hand is laid over him on the ground. He worried if people will found out, especially his parents. He quickly takes his hand from Changmin and stand from the ground.

Honestly, it’s nice to hear something like that from someone that he just met twice, and for the record, he’s younger than him. Hearing Changmin’s words only make Kyu feels like he just listen a wedding proposal or something, and thinking about it make his stomach feels weird and his cheeks quiet warm. He shook his head slowly to make his mind clear and looks at Changmin on the ground.

“Well, if that thing really happens, I’ll let you to be the seme in our relationship then, even you’re younger than me” He smirking slowly before continue “but, really, I’m doubt about that” and turn his body and walk away.

Changmin seeing how Kyu walk slowly leave him behind ho still sit on the ground. Kyu put his hands inside his trouser pocket and start to leave back toward the crowd. Changmin take a deep breath in second

“Well, I’ll make sure you keep your word Kyu!” Changmin shouted from the ground as Kyu still walk away. Without stopping and turn his head, the older only raise his right hand up and make an ‘okay’ sign as the answer for Changmin who smile seeing the older leave.

Changmin turn his gaze back on the ground in front of him before he suddenly feel his head is too hot and want to explode in second whenever he remember Kyu’s word that going to let him being the seme of Kyu. Changmin smile widely as he take his knee to his chest and hide his face on his hands as he feels something flipping inside his stomach. He mumbling slowly between his hands

“How embarrassing…” as his face turn warm and totally red.

----

Thanks for read, subscibes, and everything. Lots of love from me and thank you so much :))