2009.

All ELFs remember this year. The year when things began to crumble.

I remember you came running into my room one night. One look on your face, and my laptop was on the ground, off, and I was by your side.

You had tears.

The emotions in your eyes, Donghae. You could never hide them from me.

The sadness, the pain, the fear, the loneliness, the self guilt

I held you while you cried. Kind of amusing, is the situation was different. I was the cry baby and there were more than a few times where you had to hold me to sleep, or sing me a lullaby or do something funny to make me feel better.

I treasure those moments.

Now its my turn to repay you.

“What’s wrong?” I ask after you calmed down. You gaze at me with those eyes. God, I wanted to make everything right at that moment. Whatever you asked me, I would do it in a heartbeat. Buy you food, dance for you, fight for you, anything. Those tears just needed to go…

“…Kibum…he’s leav-“ you couldn't finish as the tears fell faster.

I hugged you tighter. I knew the pain you felt. You thought Super Junior was your family. No one should leave again…..for whatever reason.

“ssh its okay,” I muttered in your ear. “It will all be better……”

You calmed down eventually, Donghae. A few more sniffles then you were good. You looked back at me, but this time with more hope in those eyes then tears.

“Don’t leave me Hyukkie, I couldn't make it if you left..” you said as your hand touched my cheek.

I shivered. Not from the coldness of the room. Or the fact your hand was wet. No, I shivered because my whole body felt like it received a buzz. Your hand, your touch, your warmth. The effect you had on me was remarkable Donghae.

“No, I wouldn't leave you…..dont leave me either Hae…” I whispered.

You laughed as you leaned your forehead on mine, “That's funny Hyukkie. I am not going anywhere without you.”

Oh how you lied that day Donghae.