Chapter 7
Life à la Mode
A/N: Sup? Here I am again, randomly updating. You should know by now that I don't really have a fixed schedule when it comes to this . I do it when I have some free time. That's it.
Before we move on, I just have to say this one more time. I'm sorry if it's getting repetitive, but PLEASE bear in mind that absolutely NONE of the things about the characters are real. This is mostly just the product of my ridiculous imagination, not to be taken as a reference to how they are in real life. Thank you.
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Chapter 7
And you should remember that a date is just a date — and it can actually be fun! Whether your long-term goal is to get married and start a family or to set sail around the world in a sailboat built for two, you start in the same place: on a first date.**
Kris shut the book he was reading, put it down on his desk, and sighed – one that was long and utterly miserable.
He had just reached an all-time low.
He eyed the title of the book again and immediately felt like hiding from the entire world in shame.
Dating for Dummies
Yes. Kris Wu Yifan, 34 years old, heir to the world's largest, and most profitable multinational conglomerate, voted as the 'Most Eligible Bachelor in the Universe' for two years in a row (since he ended his last relationship), was a dummy. That word left quite a sizable dent in his ego, but he was man enough to admit it.
It wasn't even that he at dating, or asking people out. He was in his 30's, for crying out loud. He knew how to approach someone with just the right amount of confidence (not arrogance), make conversation, flirt in a subtle way, and then drop the bomb.
But here's the thing: Most of the time, he didn't even have to do any of the stuff above. The truth of the matter was that he had money and good looks. And he had both of those in spades. People spot him at any and every social gathering, and they throw themselves at him, vying for his attention like sidewalk vendors in Bangkok. Shallow, social climbing gold-diggers see him as a walking, limitless bank account and a shortcut to prominence. The finest catch there could possibly be.
2 years ago, that wouldn't have been a problem. He had his fair share of one night stands and flings that only ever lasted for a week or two, and he was fine with that. It was easy and convenient. No commitment, no disappointment. After his and Zitao's relationship fell apart, he realized that he just didn't have the time for anything serious and long term, and he meant that literally. He was too busy making sure the world would keep moving, that he had pushed everything else aside. (That was one of the primary reasons why he and his gorgeous half Chinese, half French-Algerian* ex-beau broke it off in the first place.)
But that wasn't the case anymore. Now, he had to take this seriously whether he wanted to or not.
And boy, did he want to.
He never imagined that he'd ever be as dedicated to this task as he was now. At first, he thought he'd take things in stride and do it at his own pace. He thought it'd be difficult to find someone that could grab his attention and keep his interest. He thought that he might need to look in other places, like London, Paris, Tokyo, or Moscow, just in case New York, in spite of all her eclecticism and multifaceted magnificence, was a failure. He even thought that he should perhaps consider lowering his expectations and standards, because another carrier as perfect as Jaejoong was would be next to impossible to come across in the same lifetime.
Well, everything he 'thought' lasted about as long as his journey from Vancouver to The Big Apple, give or take a few hours.
Before he met Chanyeol.
….And got overwhelmed by the realization that he could've raised his expectations as high as Olympus Mons and Chanyeol would've still easily exceeded it.
Chanyeol was someone Yifan never believed he would ever find. It had been almost two weeks since then, but it still felt like he was only dreaming. After all, what were the chances of him actually meeting someone who reminded him of her*? Not so much in looks, but in mannerisms, charms, and overall personality. He'd bet his Wei Long that Chanyeol was probably charitable, too.
He was starting to figure out just why he was so drawn to the hazel-eyed redhead, and Yifan would be damned if he missed and ed up this chance that the universe had so generously bestowed upon him.
Which now brought him to his current predicament.
It would seem that Chanyeol really didn't have much experience when it came to guys and dating in general. The other ran away from him just this morning, after Jaejoong had so kindly set up a surprise breakfast 'not-date' for them.
But perhaps that was the reason. Chanyeol was completely unaware of it and obviously freaked out. In retrospect, Yifan shouldn't have so readily agreed to his longtime friend's 'ingenious' idea. Or at least asked for Chanyeol's permission first. He became too ecstatic at the prospect of seeing the riveting redhead again that he forgot to consider how Chanyeol would react to it.
When the magnitude of that one careless oversight finally sunk in to his regressing (to the intellectual capability of a Neanderthal) brain, Yifan had to resist the urge to bang his head repeatedly against his desk. Mostly because it was made from imported exotic woods and expensive as . And also because it would hurt, and probably only diminish his already fluctuating IQ levels. He had his priorities in order.
He sighed and settled for violently rubbing his face with both hands instead. It had a similar effect, but much less painful.
Despite what happened, however, Yifan really couldn't blame Chanyeol. The redhead had nothing to do with it; it was all Jaejoong and his chronic 'meddling disorder'.
Of course he was disappointed, being left alone at such a lovely table for two, but Yifan somewhat understood why the hazel-eyed beauty's instincts told him to flee. It was quite evident that Chanyeol was downright flustered and nonplussed the entire time, and the combination probably became too overwhelming to deal with. Yifan knew the feeling.
Jaejoong had apologized and joined him afterward, so it wasn't all that bad. The exquisite food was a bonus.
He also tried to look at the bright side. At least one good thing came out of that mess, and it was that he now knew that Chanyeol might possibly have a crush on him, if the way the redhead stared at him for all 5 minutes or so of their not-date was any indication. He could work with that. Chanyeol seemed to be particularly fascinated with his eyes, which was a funny coincidence, because Yifan also happened to think that the redhead possessed one of the most beautiful, doe-like pairs of eyes he had ever seen—different from Luhan's or Jaejoong's, but just as captivating.
And he hoped to see them again. Preferably for much longer than just 5 minutes.
But not if he didn't get his together stat.
Hence, he was reading this goddamn Dating 101 book like some sort of hopeless imbecile. None of the tricks he had in his own arsenal would work on someone like Chanyeol, who was so pure he might as well be the Mary, so he had to start from the very basic stuff.
It was harder than he thought. God, give him patience.
He was just about to pick the dumb book up again when his phone lit up with a new message.
Yifan frowned, because it was pretty late, almost 10:30 in the evening. People usually didn't bother him at this hour, unless it was an emergency.
He picked his phone up instead and unlocked the screen.
It was from an unknown sender. It could only be someone he already knew, because his personal phone number was top secret, and couldn't be found in any directory. Yifan tapped the message.
It read:
Hey, I'm sorry, but can you pick me up from this address?
Apt. 23/A 12th flr. 770 Park Ave. E 73rd st.
I'm at this college party and people are kind of pressuring
me into trying out some stuff.
You can scold me later. Thanks.
He already had an idea of who it was, but he had to make sure.
He typed a reply:
Who's this?
As soon as he got an answer confirming the person's identity, Yifan sprung out of his seat and speed dialed Dennis, telling him to get the Phantom* ready while he quickly dressed up. He had to get there as soon as humanly possible because anything could happen in just a few minutes, especially at a ing college party.
What the hell was that kid thinking?
This definitely wasn't what Chanyeol had in mind when Sehun said they'd be having a 'slumber party'. If it was, then this definitely had to be the most miserable, lifeless, depressing party there ever was.
About an hour had passed since their initial confrontation in the foyer, but nothing had been resolved yet. They had just finished the food Chanyeol made for dinner in absolute silence, and now all four of them were in the living room, each occupying a different place. Chanyeol was sat mermaid style on the couch with Jun, Luhan was sprawled upside down on the divan with his head hanging on the edge, and Sehun was reclined on his ultra comfortable La-Z-Boy.
None of them were speaking. They looked like they'd just lost their jobs and were all dealing with it in their own way, except for Jun, who seemed to be taking a lot of wicked pleasure from seeing the aftermath of their dispute. Little .
Well, at least the youngest had tried to abate the tension earlier by suggesting random activities, but they weren't in the mood for anything anymore. In the end, he just gave up.
Currently, Luhan was playing an intense game of Minion Rush on his phone, complete with frustrated exclamations and curses in German (beside him was a half-empty bottle of Adnams Longshore), Sehun was lazily flipping through last month's issue of Cosmopolitan with Carly Rae Jepsen on the cover, Jun was listening to music with earphones on (and still looking far too amused with the entire situation), and Chanyeol was… watching them. Every now and then letting out a heavy sigh.
It was a sad, sad scene. If they were in an actual movie, people would only come and watch them for the eye candy. Other than that, there was nothing worth seeing.
Chanyeol could feel his muscles start to twitch, itching to do something about this pitiful picture they were making.
So he picked up two chunky throw pillows, and, with as much force as he could muster, hurled them across the room, straight into the insufferable witches lounging on the other side.
The projectiles perfectly landed on both of their faces, thus commencing a stream of simultaneous expletives in Russian and German, because Sehun's magazine slipped from his grip and Luhan's phone got knocked off of his hand at the same time. Chanyeol felt extremely proud of himself. Jun cracked up.
“Сука блядь!”
“Was zur Hölle ist dein Problem?!”
“That was awesome!”
Both shot withering looks at Jun, who only laughed even harder, completely unfazed.
Chanyeol just smiled, choosing to be diplomatic (never mind the fact that he was actually the one who attacked first). “Thank you, Jun. Sehun, I have no idea what you just said but I doubt you were thanking me. Luhan, I assume you just asked what my problem was. Well...”
He then inhaled a deep lungful of the sugary-sweet and powdery aroma permeating Sehun's entire apartment, preparing himself to give a speech that he most certainly did not run over in his head. He was at this, but he needed to try. The entire evening was at stake.
“This is ridiculous,” he began, glad that he managed to sound a lot more confident than he was actually feeling. “I'm pretty sure I agreed to a slumber party, not a funeral. But I guess we do need to mourn the devastating loss of our common sense. What are we doing? Is this how the rest of our night is going to be? Dead silence and cold shoulders?”
He observed his friends' expressions as he spoke. Luhan was starting to look contemplative, while Sehun's was unreadable. The younger did have the best poker face. The half Russian had brought even the most skillful gamblers in Vegas to their knees without batting an eye. (He swore his friends had the weirdest special talents.)
When no one said anything, Chanyeol took that as his cue to keep going. “Look, I know that we all kept secrets from each other, some intentionally,” both he and Luhan threw pointed looks at Sehun, “and some without meaning to,” he made a gesture to himself, “but now that it's out in the open, then we might as well discuss it and get this over with.”
He paused, because he wasn't quite sure he wanted to subject himself to what he was about to say next, but he also knew that he had to convince the other two to stop being petty little es and sort this out. If he didn't, no one else would graciously swallow their pride, and then the only thing that they'd be left with was 'slumber'. He didn't know about them, but he sure as hell wouldn't want the night to end just like that.
Chanyeol could feel his throat constricting, but before he could chicken out, he swallowed and said, “I'm willing to answer any questions you guys might have… about me and Kris.” He kept his eyes downcast because he didn't want to see their reactions. That kind of sounded like he just admitted to being involved with the billionaire, but rephrasing it would just make it a lot more awkward and suspicious.
There really wasn't anything between them, anyway... Was there?
They had only seen each other in person for a staggering grand total of (drum roll, please) TWO TIMES, and the last one, he had so embarrassingly (and inconsiderately) run away from. As far as Chanyeol was concerned, that could hardly be called a thing.
….So he had absolutely nothing to worry about. He didn't commit a heinous crime, and he wasn't hiding an actual romantic relationship from his best friends.
Surprisingly, it was Sehun who replied first. “Okay, if that's what you want.”
Chanyeol looked up then, meeting the younger's eyes. Sehun lifted one of his annoyingly perfect brows and crossed his arms under his abundantly blessed bosom. “I was really meaning to grill you about this whole Kris issue, anyway.”
OK, now he was starting to regret it.
That got Luhan to straighten up in his seat and turn to Sehun with a raised eyebrow of his own. “Then I guess that means you're also willing to answer questions about you and your mystery man.”
Everyone shifted their attention to the half Russian, who at first seemed at bit reluctant, but eventually gave a slight nod.
Luhan rolled his eyes, but looked satisfied with the response nonetheless. He then cleared his throat, louder than necessary, before announcing, “Alright, we're going to do this the fun way.”
Much to their mixed astonishment and disgust, Luhan grabbed the bottle of vodka beside him, uncapped it, and proceeded to guzzle what was left of the liquor down as if it was nothing more than ing lemonade on a sweltering hot summer day. It took him less than 10 seconds to finish it to the last drop, after which he uncouthly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, put the cap back on, and placed it lying down on the coffee table.
“Not even I can finish an entire bottle of vodka by myself, and I'm ing Russian,” Sehun remarked, but Luhan ignored him as he went on to explain his so-called 'fun' idea.
“Spin the bottle with a twist. I'm sure you all know how it goes, but for this one, instead of kissing the person next to you or some , we're gonna be asking and answering questions. The good thing is that you have the option of not answering the question.”
“I can sense a but in there,” Chanyeol interjected in a plainly skeptical manner. This was Luhan. Of course there would be a catch. The amber-eyed vermin was never nice unless there was something he could gain from it, or he could derive any thrill from the discomfort of others.
Luhan held up a finger, a gesture clearly meant to shush him. “HOWEVER, you have to remove one article of clothing and take a shot of Patrón with no chasers.”
And there you have it. This was one of those rare instances where Chanyeol hated being right. Especially when Luhan was involved.
Junhui, being the only minor, pointed at himself as if to remind them that according to the law, he couldn't actually do any of those stuff yet. (Technically, Sehun wasn't supposed to be drinking yet either, but they all knew he was already drinking vodka in his mother's womb, anyway.)
“Except for Jun, obviously,” Luhan added, more as an afterthought than anything.
The rest of them looked down at what they were wearing… And mentally calculated how many questions they could choose not to answer before they were completely left in just their birthday suits. Chanyeol had 6, 7 if he included his hair tie.
“Is everything clear?”
Chanyeol raised a hand. “Uh, do hair ties count?”
Luhan simply shrugged. “Sure, whatever. Anything else?”
“When does the game end?” asked Sehun this time, still a bit closed-off. Chanyeol could sense that he was trying to neutralize his expression as much as possible, maybe so that should he choose to lie about something, they wouldn't be able to tell. Very clever, but it was hard to deceive Luhan. The eldest only got even more shrewd under the influence of alcohol.
“When everyone is satisfied, obviously. This is meant to get you guys to reveal everything.” Luhan ended with a creepy smirk, and Chanyeol just knew the half German model wasn't going to make this easy for them. He shivered involuntarily.
Sehun scoffed. “And you have nothing to hide?”
“I'm an open book! You can ask me anything! No limits!” The eldest declared, opening his arms wide to emphasize his point.
Sehun gave him the stank face, but didn't give any rebuttal whatsoever. It was impossible to win against Luhan.
“Now, I'm even more excited,” Jun piped, clapping his hands with a huge grin.
“If there are no more questions, let's begin. Move your asses to the floor, es,” Luhan ordered, himself sitting cross-legged on the giant black and gold Persian rug that covered a good portion of Sehun's living room.
Not even a second later, Luhan exclaimed, “Oh, wait!” He stood up again and immediately made a beeline for Sehun's mini bar to grab a bottle of Patrón Anejo as well as three shot glasses. He then placed one each in front of Chanyeol, Sehun, and himself, before sitting back down and nodding satisfactorily as if it was such an accomplishment.
Once everyone was in position on all corners of the rectangular coffee table, Luhan spoke up again. “Since this is my brilliant idea, I get to spin and ask a question first.”
None of them even bothered to protest anymore, because they knew they'd only be wasting their energy and effort. Luhan always got his way in the end.
“Alright, here we go!”
The eldest spun the bottle using too much strength on purpose. It was spinning rapidly for quite a long time before it slowed down and finally stopped, the neck pointing towards Chanyeol.
Luhan smiled. Chanyeol's heart nearly leaped out of his chest, but he kept a calm demeanor. One should never, ever show any weakness to Luhan, because the godless savage was not above exploiting it to get what he wanted.
“Okay, little red, here's my first question.”
Chanyeol braced himself as much as he could.
“We all know your cherry's un-popped, but have you ever touched yourself?”
It wasn't that bad, but still brought color to Chanyeol's cheeks. He gave an honest answer nonetheless. “No, never.” Not to say that he hadn't ever thought about it before, but the urge had never been strong enough for him to actually act on it.
Jun looked genuinely impressed at the revelation, mouth forming a small o. “Wow, really? You're that innocent? Even I own one of those massager thingies.”
Sehun shot the youngest a judging look. “Does your mom know about that?”
Jun laughed, obviously finding the question ridiculous. “Does my mom know about it? He practically told me to get one for myself! One night, while I was salivating over a topless picture of Chris Evans in my laptop, he came into my room and handed over his credit card, and then left without saying a word. A few seconds later, I got a message with a link to a website that sells premium toys. When I came out to check what the he was smoking, I found him watching 16 and Pregnant. It was easy enough to decode it after that.”
They all nodded their heads sagely out of wonderment of Heechul's unconventional yet effective parenting style, seeing the merits of being open to your child about . Chanyeol would likely do the same thing if he ever ended up having kids in the future. Far, far, into the future.
“It's your turn, Yeol,” reminded Luhan, which spurred Chanyeol into action. He didn't exaggerate spinning the bottle as Luhan did, so it revolved for only a few seconds before stopping in front of, well, Luhan himself.
Since the older model said earlier that there were no limits, one good question popped into Chanyeol's head. He'd been curious about it for a long time, but he could never find the right moment to ask. He was kind of starting to appreciate this stupid game.
Chanyeol his lips, thinking of the best way to put it. He didn't want to accidentally offend Luhan, after all. That wouldn't bode well for any of them.
Finally, he settled for, “I've seen you kissing girls in the club before, but I don't actually know your uality. I know Sehun only likes guys, and I'm assuming Jun does, too. How about you?”
Luhan let out a loud snort, but didn't seem to think it was bad. Chanyeol released the breath he wasn't aware he was holding. Safe.
“I knew you would eventually ask me this,” he said, running a hand through his messy, yet y beach babe hair. (Chanyeol could never pull that off as effortlessly as Luhan did.)
The eldest clicked his tongue, expression deceptively playful as he said, “While I can appreciate the beauty of women and others like us, I've only ever been with men. I only kiss girls because guys find it really hot. It's all for show. And besides, I love bouncing on huge too much to ever-”
“WHOA WHOA WHOA OK THAT'S ENOUGH TMI,” Chanyeol yelled to block Luhan's voice out, reaching out to cover Jun's ears, even if the youngest probably knew more about it than he did. It was just instinct.
Sehun only shook his head, already used to Luhan's uninhibited vulgarity after years of friendship.
Satan's favorite mistress cackled, consummately evil and unapologetic, as he moved to spin the bottle as it was his turn again. This time, it halted in Sehun's general direction. It wasn't exactly on him, but he was the closest.
Clearly waiting for this moment, Luhan rubbed his hands together, that creepy grin making its way on his face yet again. “Alright, Sasha. I hope you know I'm not going to hold back on you.”
The half Russian leaned forward and said something in his native tongue that no one understood. His expression gave Chanyeol the impression that he was challenging Luhan, though, so that was probably what he said, or at least something akin to that.
However, Luhan narrowed his eyes and responded in rapid fire German, and Chanyeol's brain broke. He could almost hear it crumbling down. What the frick frack tally wack was this supposed to be? Operation Barbarossa? Did they even understand each other? He glanced at Jun for help, but the youngest only shrugged, just as clueless as he was.
Thankfully, their exchange didn't last too long, because otherwise, Chanyeol would have walked the out and sought refuge in the guest room so he could piece his brain back together. Languages had never been his strongest suit. The only other one he knew was Hangul (influence of his adoptive mother figure Aunt Miyoung and the fact that he was supposed to be half Korean based on his name), and he wasn't even that fluent in it. He spoke some rudimentary Spanish which he learned in high school, but that was completely useless here.
“So,” Luhan finally said in English, praise the Lord. “Liam told me that you were acting weird that evening in Black Pearl. He said you were alone at the 2nd floor bar and you didn't socialize. Why is that?”
Chanyeol detected a subtle change in Sehun's countenance, but his voice was perfectly level when he answered, “I was… depressed, I guess. I know you're going to get mad at me for this, but I was thinking about my break up with Étienne… It made me doubt my self-worth. And I wanted to drink it all away because I know I was being stupid. At least, that was my plan.”
The amber-eyed model didn't give any response, instead just watching Sehun for a short moment. Chanyeol knew that Luhan would really rather get up and give the younger a hug, but he had to stay in character at the same time. Chanyeol himself wanted to comfort Sehun, but they had to make him understand that they didn't appreciate him keeping secrets and lying. (That was a direct violation of their Glam Squad Code, normally punishable by a week's worth of silent treatment and paying for the next shopping spree.)
To their surprise, it was Jun who crawled all the way from the other end of the table and did what both Luhan and Chanyeol wanted to do. The youngest enveloped Sehun in a bear hug, swaying from side to side and whispering, “You're beautiful and awesome and y as hell. He didn't deserve you,” which he swore made the half Russian tear up a little.
He and Luhan smiled at the adorably heartwarming scene, and just waited until Jun finally let go of Sehun and rolled back to his original place. He literally did a forward roll, causing the rest of them to chuckle at his antics.
When he had calmed down enough, Sehun took his turn to spin, which stopped perfectly in front of Chanyeol once again.
His younger best friend looked him dead in the eye and very seriously said, “I'm sure you already know what I want to ask.”
Chanyeol sighed. “I have an idea, but you have to be more specific. I can't read minds.”
Sehun immediately followed-up with, “How exactly did you meet Kris? That day at Hot Couture, you said you had an urgent appointment and left quickly, so I didn't get to interrogate you then.”
“That's boring, I already know that,” Luhan complained in an obnoxious manner, causing Sehun to shoot him with his signature absolute zero glare.
“Well, Jun and I don't, so shut your trap. Go ahead, Yeol,” Sehun prompted, and Chanyeol scratched the side of his neck, not quite sure how to begin.
Sehun was still looking at him expectantly, and so was Jun, so he just went for the abridged version of the tale, leaving out the part where he stupidly bumped his head against the sliding door and fell flat on his .
It took him the better part of 2 minutes to recount the events of that evening, after which, the two youngest both sported very similar awestruck faces, mouths agape. Chanyeol coughed, successfully bringing them out of their daze.
“Wow...” Jun began upon recovery. “That's really… weird.”
Chanyeol gave a nod of agreement. “That's definitely one way to put it.”
“No, I mean…” the younger trailed off, furrowing his eyebrows. “You're not his type,” was his offhanded remark, even managing to keep eye contact with Chanyeol as he said so.
Now, that was admittedly a bit offensive. Did Jun just imply that he was making this up? What reason would he even have to do that? Kris was the one pursuing him, not the other way around.
Luhan and Sehun covered their mouths, trying not to laugh at Chanyeol's weirdly contorted face and Jun's bluntness. The 15-year-old had never been one to sugarcoat, a characteristic he inherited from his mother.
Chanyeol paid them no mind as he pulled his head back a bit, asking, “What do you mean not his type? He couldn't take his eyes off of me the entire time. He frickin' asked me out. You were even there when I got the teddy bear. What is all that supposed to be, then? Killing boredom? Passing fancy?”
Evidently panicking at how badly his words were received, Jun rapidly swung his head back and forth and held up a placating hand. “No no no no no, that's not what I'm trying to say at all.”
“Then what?” It came out just a tad more hostile than he intended, causing the youngest to flinch at his tone.
“Alright, but first, lemme just say that you're totes one of the most beautiful carriers I've ever seen. You're crazy gorgeous and you have a rocking physique, so don't get me wrong here.”
That calmed Chanyeol down considerably. “Go on.”
Jun sighed in relief. “Thank you.”
The Eurasian duo snickered, but aside from that remained silent as they listened to what Jun had to say.
“I've known Yifan-ge since I was in diapers. He's been associated with my family way before I was even conceived. To keep it short, I know him well enough, and I know that he tends to go for the feisty, provocative, confident yet classy ones. The kind that behaves accordingly in public, but can be a total freak in private. That's what he drools for.”
Chanyeol blinked. OK. If Jun's words were to be trusted, he was basically the complete opposite of Kris's usual type. Why in the name of absolute was the billionaire so obsessed with him, then?
“So what I'm saying is...” Jun continued, almost as if he had telepathically heard Chanyeol's unvoiced question, “There really must be something in you, aside from your physical appearance, that did it for him.”
The youngest peered at him with his sharp, intelligent eyes, no doubt trying to figure out what that something was. The feeling was reminiscent of whenever Jaejoong would scrutinize him, which the CEO often did during those days when he thought Chanyeol was a bit off. 9 times out of 10, Jaejoong was right. (Chanyeol allowed his imagination to run wild once, and he had come up with this outlandish theory that the Kims were a clan of supernatural creatures… He also happened to be high on medication because he had the flu. Don't judge him.)
Luhan spoke up, then, addressing Jun. “I think I get what you're saying. I've thought about it before, how different Chanyeol is from of all of his exes, Zitao especially. They're like the sun and the moon. It's baffling.”
Chanyeol frowned. Zitao? He'd surely never heard of that name before. And apparently they were like two opposing heavenly bodies. That was… interesting.
Sehun snapped his fingers. “Yes, Zitao. That's his name. I met him once when he was still with Kris. Barely speaks English, but surprisingly fluent in Russian. Weird.”
“Well, he used to tell me how he loved Russia and all. He apparently studied it in university. Now that he's married to a Russian billionaire, the skill would come in handy,” Jun answered with a shrug.
Sehun nodded. “I see. Quite impressive that he managed to learn it that well in just a few years.”
Chanyeol was confused about one thing, though. “Wait, how did he communicate with Kris if he doesn't know English?”
Luhan regarded him as if Chanyeol just asked who Lady Gaga was and offended his entire existence. “Wow, how little do you know about Kris? Haven't you even done any research?”
Chanyeol shook his head in the negative.
The older model facepalmed, but still answered his question, anyway. “Kris is a polyglot. He speaks like, 12 gazillion languages or something, Mandarin and French amongst them. Zitao is half Chinese, half French-Algerian, and he speaks both as well. I don't know if he also speaks Arabic or Berber, but I'm sure about the Mandarin and the French.”
Out of all the new information that Luhan just shared, Chanyeol was stuck on just one. “Half Chinese, half French-Algerian? That sounds really… exotic.”
“Oh, totes,” Jun replied this time. “That word describes Zizi to a T.”
If Chanyeol wasn't intrigued enough earlier, then he was now. “Really?”
“Oh, yeah. He looks amazing.” The way Luhan said it made it seem like he actually meant the praise, and that was rare for the half German, who himself was a visual marvel and undoubtedly one of the most beautiful people to ever roam the Earth.
Before he knew it, someone's phone was being pressed into his face, and he looked up to see that it was Jun's. He was trying to show him something.
“Check him out.”
Chanyeol then shifted his focus to the screen, and, in the split second that it took for his brain to register the sheer beauty of the person in the picture, he felt every bit of his self-esteem begin to deteriorate.
How did he even compare to this? Jun was right. Zitao was the word 'exotic' personified; an otherworldly creature covered from head to toe in flawless, radiant mocha skin, who had the most perfect physical proportions Chanyeol had ever seen.
In the photo, he was emerging from crystal blue waters, and the paparazzi who had stolen it had caught him at the exact moment he glanced at the camera. The fire in his smoldering gaze was clearly meant to ensnare any unfortunate soul who made the mistake of looking into his dark eyes, but his body…
“God, is this body even real?” He just had to ask, because it was ridiculous.
“I know! I wish it doesn't go back to that after he gives birth,” Sehun said, voice laced with unmistakable envy.
Luhan burst into boisterous laughter. “Damn, you're still salty about that?”
That piqued Chanyeol's curiosity. “Why? What happened?”
Luhan took the device from him and started typing something into it as he explained, “Zitao is not a model, but despite that, he was chosen to be featured on Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2011. Sehun has been wanting that for a long time, and he couldn't believe Zitao made it on the cover before he did.”
Sehun's irises almost completely disappeared with how violently he rolled his eyes. “It's because of that stupid body of his. I hate it but I love it at the same time. Ugh.”
Luhan handed the smartphone to him again, and this time, there was a magazine scan. Chanyeol could see how even Sehun would be envious. The half French-Algerian beauty had a light athletic build, with long limbs and straight shoulders, but that wasn't what destroyed Sehun (and Chanyeol, if he was being honest). It was those ing bombshell , that tight stomach with a tiiiiny waistline plus actual abs, perfectly rounded hips, and luscious thighs with that annoying little inverted triangular gap. A real thigh gap, not the skinny thigh gap that most girls hilariously thought they had. Zitao was literally shaped like a ing hourglass.
“This is insane,” he whispered in complete disbelief of what he was seeing.
“Right? He's an anomaly. It shouldn't even be possible for carriers to have those proportions, but he has them, anyway.”
The goddamn air itself was beginning to taste salty because of the amount of sodium chloride Sehun was practically oozing out of his pores. Chanyeol wasn't quite at that level yet. He was just really… insecure, for some reason. He didn't know how the sentiment came about. It just did.
“He didn't achieve that by being lazy. He works out a lot—running, yoga and pilates, so maybe you should, too,” Jun advised Sehun, who, instead of considering it, looked like he was just told that bubble tea would no longer be sold in America. (Sehun was stupidly fond of that .) Chanyeol sympathized with his younger best friend, because he hated exercising just as much. Unfortunately, that also meant that this perfection would be forever out of their reach.
Oh, well. He was sure Zitao had lots of other imperfections. Maybe he had a terrible personality, or unemployed, or a Republican.
….Wait, he wasn't American. Whatever.
“You said he's not a model, so what does he do?” Chanyeol asked, trying to sound casual.
Luhan opened his mouth, closed it again, seemingly mulled it over, and then said, “Are you sure you want to know?”
Chanyeol did a celebratory dance in his head. So there was something bad about Zitao. HA.
“Why, is it that bad?”
“Oh, not at all. I'm just not quite sure whatever remains of your self-esteem can take it. Remember that Sehun is still salty about him to this day, and it's been years since they met.”
Chanyeol's mental victory party came to an abrupt halt. , what exactly did Zitao do for a living?
He let out an awkward, forced laugh, voice an octave higher when he said, “No, I'm fine! I'm just really curious.”
Luhan waved his pointer finger at him. “You better not regret that.”
“Psh, go ahead. It's not going to kill me.” He didn't even believe his own words.
The eldest watched Chanyeol closely to see his reaction to these next words: “He's a barrister specializing in international law and human rights. And, by the way, he does know English. He just has a thick French accent, so he doesn't use it often.”
Chanyeol was able to maintain a relatively pleasant, interested countenance, but his thoughts were total chaos.
It went along these lines: What? A barrister? A BARRISTER?! But he looks so young! How old is he even? He's probably not even 30 yet. What the hell am I doing with my life? I am so ashamed. And what the was Kris thinking, letting go of such a perfect human being? WHY IS HE INTERESTED IN SOMEONE LIKE ME?! ASIDE FROM MY LOOKS, EVERYTHING ABOUT ME IS AVERAGE! WHAT WOULD PEOPLE THINK WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT HE DOWNGRADED FROM A LAMBORGHINI TO A TOYOTA? FROM A PRIVATE JET TO ECONOMY CLASS? FROM NOKA* TO ING HERSHEY'S? WHAT WOULD ZITAO THINK? HE'D BE INSULTED! I AM NEVER EVER GOING TO SUBJECT MYSELF TO THAT HUMILIATION. KRIS WOULD JUST HAVE TO LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE WHO CAN COMPETE WITH ALL OF THAT. I WISH HIM THE BEST OF LUCK.
“OK, you know what, guys, I think we should just go back to the game. We're not here to discuss Zitao and his perfection,” Sehun spat bitterly, and Chanyeol was so grateful for the distraction, because he swore his brain was beginning to overheat.
Luhan was still perusing him, so he made sure to make it seem like he was perfectly fine and unaffected by everything he just learned.
“Agreed!” Jun shouted, thus breaking Luhan's focus off of him. Chanyeol was thankful for that, too, even if Jun didn't exactly do it for him. “Whose turn is it?”
Chanyeol raised a hand. “Mine.”
He spun the bottle, and it stopped on Jun for the first time since they started.
The youngest let out a cheer, because like Luhan, he probably had nothing to hide either. Only he and Sehun were at a disadvantage here. That was so unfair.
Chanyeol decided to ask him the most obvious question. “What did you and your mom fight about this time?”
“Pft. Of course you were going to ask that. Well, you see, I had one of my guy friends over this afternoon…”
After a particularly long and detailed storytelling, he learned that Jun liked this boy and he was jealous because the boy liked another friend of theirs. It apparently led to a make out session on the couch, which Heechul happened to have walked in on. The former model's reaction was perfectly understandable, if not a tad too hysterical, but it was Heechul.
“So what do you plan to do about it?” Luhan asked Jun, and the 15-year-old shrugged.
“I don't know. I'll figure it out, but not right now.” And that was the end of it.
Jun's spin landed on Luhan next.
“How old were you when you lost your ity, Lu-jie?”
Luhan did a fart-like sound with his mouth. “16, to my first boyfriend. I was on a vacation in my mother's hometown in Stuttgart. He was five years older. Lied to him about my age, told him I was 18. We did it about a month into our relationship. We only lasted for 3 months, because I had to return to New York for school.” He ended with a snort. Luhan was exactly the kind of person to make fun of his own failed relationships.
Now, it was Luhan's turn again. Chanyeol prayed that it wasn't him. He tightly shut his eyes.
However, seeing as the universe loved to conspire against him, of course it landed on him for the 3rd time. 3rd time's the charm? Bull.
There was that look on Luhan's face again that made Chanyeol's skin crawl.
“What do you really think about Zitao?”
He knew it. He was actually expecting that question, but it didn't mean that he wanted to talk about it. First of all, he had absolutely nothing to say at this moment. He needed more time to think about what this whole mess with Kris really made him feel. He himself was still in a state of utter confusion.
Chanyeol had just opened his mouth to make use of his 'refusal powers', but Sehun did it for him. “Oh, hell no. We're not going back to him, because I swear to GOD. Chanyeol, remove something and drink this.”
Luhan sent a nasty glare at Sehun, but the half Russian just went on to pour him a shot. Chanyeol gave the eldest a fake apologetic look, before pulling off his hair tie. His light auburn locks immediately fell in their natural waves around his face.
“You , Sasha,” Luhan muttered spitefully, but he had to abide by his own rules, so he couldn't do anything.
Chanyeol then brought the shot glass to his nose and cringed at the smell of the tequila (he wasn't really a fan), but downed it in one go so as not to prolong his agony. It was a good thing that Patrón tequilas were made of 100% agave, so there was no burn as it made its way down his throat.
He swallowed his spit to wash some of the aftertaste out, before moving to spin the bottle again.
It stopped in front of Sehun.
The younger just raised an expectant eyebrow at him, his entire demeanor considerably more relaxed and open than it was when they first started.
Unfortunately for dear Sasha, Chanyeol wasn't planning to ask an easy question.
“Did you end up sleeping with that guy? I'm asking because I know it's not something that you do very often. If no, tell us what you did. If yes, tell us what was so special about him that he managed to get you to agree to casual .”
As expected, Sehun's eyes widened a fraction, but Chanyeol hoped he wouldn't take the easy way out.
Luhan and Jun had similar looks on their faces, as curious about the answer as he was.
After what felt like an eternity of silence from the half Russian, he finally spoke. “Yes, I did. We booked a suite at Langham Place. I sneaked out when he fell asleep. I agreed to it because I've met him before. He's both good looking and good in the sack so...” He ended with a nonchalant shrug.
“That's it?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
Chanyeol caught Luhan's eye and they both silently agreed that Sehun wasn't telling the whole truth.
“Do we know this guy?” The eldest inquired, playing it off as simple curiosity.
“I don't think so.”
“Are you ever going to introduce him to us?”
“It's not like I'm with him, so I don't really see the point in that. We might not even see each other again.”
Luhan let it go, but Chanyeol knew he was going to pester the younger about it again later on. They both had a feeling that this guy wasn't just a mere old acquaintance. Sehun seemed to be forgetting the fact that aside from Étienne, this was the only other man he actually admitted to having with.
And besides, Chanyeol could still recall Sehun's unnatural glow when they saw each other at Hot Couture a few days ago. He was willing to bet that whoever this mystery guy was had a lot to do with that.
They decided to play a few more rounds, and by the time it was over, Chanyeol had a mellow buzz from five shots of tequila, the last one being an extra dare from Luhan just for the heck of it. He ended up getting rid of both his thigh highs and the garter slip that connected them to his undies, so now his legs were bare, since his kimono robe only went as far as his mid-thigh. They looked even shorter on him because his legs went on forever. He was still pretty decent, though, unlike Sehun who only had his robe with absolutely nothing underneath from having refused to answer Luhan's repetitive queries about the guy he slept with.
Only Luhan and Jun answered every question thrown their way.
Chanyeol's vision was starting to become a bit blurry, but he no longer had the appropriate level of sobriety to tell whether he was just tired or inebriated. It was most likely the latter, though. He was such a lightweight.
He squinted his eyes to see the time on Sehun's kitchen wall clock, which read 10 minutes to 11 in the evening. They played the game for almost 2 hours, it seemed. He didn't even notice.
He looked over to check what the other 3 were doing, and saw Jun typing something in his phone, Luhan watching Saturday Night Live, while Sehun was nowhere to be found, probably in his room to put more clothes on.
Chanyeol himself was on the kitchen island, nursing a glass of water to lessen the effects of the tequila in his system.
He was about to get more water when the doorbell rang all of a sudden, almost causing him to lose his grip on the glass. He slid it further into the middle of the island just to be safe.
A visitor at this hour? Did Sehun invite someone else?
“Yeol, can you check who it is?” He heard Sehun calling from somewhere in the apartment.
Despite his dizziness, he got on his feet and traversed the distance from the kitchen to the front door. It wasn't very far, but in his current state, where everything seemed to be shaking, it proved to be more of a challenge than it actually was. His spatial awareness also decreased by about 60%, as he kept bumping into stuff along the way.
He even completely forgot about the existence of the intercom to ask the person of their intentions first, and had to try several times to press the single red button that would deactivate the security system and unlock the door because his finger wasn't listening to him.
Neither did his hand. It didn't have enough strength so he couldn't push the lever handle down properly. Stupid body parts.
Chanyeol slapped the offending inanimate object, and then tried again. It must have gotten scared of him because he succeeded this time, so he quickly pulled the door open.
The first thing he saw was an olive green military style trench coat stretched over a broad chest. He couldn't see the person's face so he looked up, up, UP, until his eyes came into contact with familiar silver ones.
It took but a second for him to identify them.
“Kris?”
“Chanyeol?”
They asked simultaneously.
Chanyeol wanted to ask what the other was doing there, but couldn't get his brain and tongue to cooperate.
He could see Kris's initially confused face contorting into worry as he studied him. The man took a step closer, gently asking, “Are you okay? You look like you're about to collapse any second.”
Chanyeol attempted to clear his head by shaking it, but the action only made him even woozier. There were now two Krises standing before him. Hotness x2.
Did he just really think that? He must be drunker than he thought.
“I'm fine, I just-”
But he didn't get to finish it as his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his legs gave out under him.
The last thing he registered before completely losing consciousness was a strong arm wrapping itself around his waist and pulling him against a sturdy chest, as well as the overwhelming sense of safety and warmth that completely washed over him.
His last thought, however, was 'Can I just lay in these arms forever?'
A/N: I am trembling in excitement for the next chapter. Unfortunately, we all have to wait, because it has yet to be written. I don't know when I'll have the time to do that. /dodges grenades
Uhhh, I hope this was OK. I'm sorry that it got a bit too long, especially the game and everything they talked about, but I did that on purpose because I really wanted to give more background on Tao, and stress how different he is from Chanyeol. The sun and the moon, according to Luhan. I also needed to show Chanyeol's developing feelings, even if he is mostly still in denial. Oh, but his subconscious apparently likes being in Kris's arms. And it doesn't lie. They still have a long way to go, though. /sigh
And I don't know about you guys, but I loved sneaky Jun. It was him who sent that message to Kris. ;-) He obviously got it from Jaejoong lol.
Finally, of course I want to thank all of you lovely people, especially those who always leave comments and make me smile. :3 Even the occasional corrections are highly appreciated. Guys, I'm far from perfect. I have made mistakes, and will keep on making them, most of the time unknowingly. If you notice anything off, particularly with my random use of foreign languages, please do not hesitate to bring it up and clarify it for me. I have the ability to speak in different tongues, but I'm not fluent in every single one of them. Feel free to correct me if you think I've made a mistake.
I guess that's it. I'm really tired, and it's late, so I need to get some rest now. See you guys next chapter. Good night. <3
Notes:
The entire first sentence – borrowed from Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition, by Joy Browne.
French-Algerian – Yes, Tao here is another halfie because I want it that way. I'm the author. Problem? Bring it to Dr. Phil. I'm sure he'd love to listen to you and offer some advice.
Her – this refers to an actual woman. That's all I'm going to say for now.
Phantom – I mean the Rolls-Royce Phantom, another one of Kris's many cars in this story.
Noka – A ridiculously expensive brand of gourmet chocolates.
The untranslated exclamation in Russian – ing ! XD I think the German is pretty obvious, though.
I might pick this up again, but I'm making no promises. I'll be more candid about the things that happened over the last 2 years IF I decide to continue where I left off. It's pretty much 50/50 at this moment. The only thing that I can tell you for sure is that Chapter 11 exists in my drafts.
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