I went home after I finished all my requirements in school a week after. I didn’t bother to let my parents know that I was coming home so I could surprise them…I would really surprise them anyways.

“Mom, I’m home”

“Oh, Yul. Welcome home. Why didn’t you text that you’re coming today?” Mom was pouting but I could tell that she’s ecstatic that I’m here.

“I want to surprise you. Where are Dad and Oppa?”

“You know your father, always busy with his work and your brother’s out somewhere doing whatever he wants”

“Nothing has changed, still huh?”

“W-what about you? Did something changed, Yul?” I looked at my Mom. Should I tell her now?

“Y-yes, Mom. Something did change.”

“W-well, are you tired or hungry? Change your clothing first while I’ll prepare something for you to eat before you tell me of these changes”

I sighed. I guess, I will tell her later.

I unpacked my luggage and change into my usual home clothes. I went to my mom to help her prepare but she just told me that I should rest or enjoy the air away from the city. So, I wandered around our house and our surroundings. I live in a farm and being here made me relax a bit – being away from the city that gave me a lot of headaches and heartaches, being away from her. 

I rested myself under my favourite tree in our farm. I took a nap because I was feeling tired also.

“Hey stranger, long time no see” I looked up and saw Minho smiling at me.

“Hey, Min. How are you? It’s been a long time.” I replied smiling.

“Yes it has and you never called our even texted me once, I guess you found someone out there huh?” He said sitting next to me.

“You haven’t change a bit. Acting like a flirt when you already know that I’m not interested with that stuff”

“Why weren’t you interested at all, Yul? I’m not good enough?” He looked gloomy.

“No, it’s not like that…it was never like that. I---I am just interested in someone else”

“Oh, so there is a ‘someone else’ now?! Who is he? So I could punch the living daylights out of him” He chuckled but I know from his voice that he was somewhat sad.

“Well…I…ah, actually I like a girl Min”

“Wha---you’re a dude? Well, not a dude dude but you know” I chuckled at his surprised face.

“A gay? I guess I am. I am gay for that annoying girl” I sighed.

“Annoying girl? She got you bad, huh?” I just nodded. “So, you dumped me because you’re playing for your own team and it’s not that you weren’t interested in me because you’re scared that I’m too handsome for you?”

We both laughed and I hit his arm. “Nope. It’s because you’re weird”

“---says the girl who fell for an annoying girl. I would like to know more about her. Maybe I can steal her from you”

“You can’t steal her from me, she was never mine.”

“Woah! The great Kwon Yuri who every guy wants to have, cannot get the girl that she likes? Maybe I should teach you a few things on how to woo a lady”

“They never worked for me before”

“It’s because you’re never one” Touché.

Minho and I talked for hours – catching up. I told him about Yoona, what happened and he even asked if my mother knew. He’s the closest thing I got to a girl best friend whom I could share secrets to, laugh about our crushes and gossip about other girls – but we don’t do that of course. I never had close friends but he was always there when I needed him. When he told me that he has feelings for me, I distanced myself a bit. It wasn’t because I find it awkward but because I don’t want him to fall more for me than he already did. I didn’t even communicate with him through all of my first year in college but here he is again, being a great friend.

I realized that all I did with my friends was to take, I might give a little but I always take a lot. I have to change this side of me now. I should stop acting like a child be responsible enough to take care of things the way I should handle it in the first place.

“I’m going home…I have to talk to my mother about this whole bizarre thing going on” I stood up and smiled at him.

“Good luck with that, Yul. If she’ll disown you, you can live us…with me…maybe you’ll fall for me then” He said smiling but with no hit of sadness now, just worry.

“I’ll think about that offer after. And Minho, thank you…for understanding and always being there”

“What are friends for?” He said before we parted ways.

I went home to find my mom waiting for me, smiling. I told her I met Minho and she was delighted that I was catching up with my childhood friend. We were silently eating dinner when she brought her up.

“You know Yul, if you’re not interested in Minho, maybe you should introduce him to Yoona, and they would look good together too”

“M-Mom, why would you suddenly bring up Yoona like that and to Minho”

“You are so silent and you haven’t even told me stories about her yet. When you would call me on your first semesters you would always tell me something about her but you’re not like that now. Did something happen?” I stopped eating.

“W-we had a misunderstanding”

“W-what happened? You two seemed so close” Should I tell her now, for the second time? 

“M-Mom, would you hate me or disown me if you found something out of the ordinary about me?” She stopped eating too.

“What do you mean, dear? I’m your mother, I know who you are. I might be disappointed at first, hate you for a second if you did something wrong but I will never hate you enough to disown you.”

“W-what if I tell you that I like Yoona. I like her the way I should like boys. I-I’m so sorry Mom, I disappointed you and Dad – our family. I’m gay and I could stop how I’m feeling for her, how I feel for myself. You would always teach me about moral fiber and the right things to be but I was not all of that.” Tears are suddenly flowing and I looked at my Mom to see something but she remained calm.

“So you argued because you told her that you’re gay? I thought she already knew”

“Well---what? What did you just say Mom?” I was confused as to how my Mother would remain calm after I told her I’m gay.

“Yul, I told you I know who you are. You’re my daughter and I knew the moment you asked for toy guns instead of Barbie dolls when you were five. I shrugged it off at first, telling myself that it’s a phase girls go through as they grow up but it wasn’t. I was hoping you would tell me about how you feel about yourself but you made your distance even more. You keep everything to yourself but I would observe how you’d ignore the guys vying for your attention and you like being alone – all alone. I then thought you’re not just feeling being in a relationship just yet but when you graduated from high school---“

“M-mom” I could see both disappointment and sadness in her eyes but she remained composed.

“I was hoping you’ll stay here so your father and I could still guide you or dictate you to the things that should be right for you but you decided to be by yourself again. I was so worried that when you step outside this house and went to college, you’ll feel so lonely and alone that you couldn’t handle yourself anymore but then Yoona came. You would always talk about her and your other friends and I was finally relieved to hear that you’re happy. You would talk about her more than you should that I felt it wasn’t what it’s supposed to be anymore. I told this to your father---“

“D-dad knows?”

“Y-yes. I told him that there might be something going on in your dorm and I was worried so he told me that it’s best if I visit you myself to see what really is going on.”

“So that’s why you visited without even telling me first”

“And I saw the way you two looked at each other for the first time, I then finally knew. I knew that my daughter is in love with the girl in front of me then. I knew that you’re both happy and worried. I know you weren’t just scared of being scolded; you’re scared of what other people might think, what we would think. I would always push the boyfriend topic to observe how the two of you would react and would just laugh silently as to how whipped my daughter had become”

“M-mom?”

“Yul, I am not happy that you like girls but I am happy that you’re happy. I do not yet accept wholeheartedly the fact that my only daughter is gay but I am relieved that you finally told me because I would hate to lose the daughter who shared her most precious secrets with me when she was still a little girl. And most of all, I’m glad that it was with Yoona”

“M-mom, I’m so sorry” I stood up and hugged her.

I was aloof as I was growing up waiting for my own freedom but the truth is – she let me fly a long time ago. I was just scared to flap my own wings.

“So, you’ll tell me now what happened with you and Yoona?” I nodded and told her everything.

I told my Dad and brother soon after they arrived. It was a bit awkward at first but every first is awkward – we just have to get used to things after. I told my family that I plan to go to Yoona’s home to say my sorry formally and tell her what happened and they agreed. My brother would always tease me that if Yoona doesn’t like me after, he would go after her and make her fall for him so at least she could be my sister-in-law. I would just playfully punch him in the arm but with worry in my mind. What if she doesn’t really like me unlike what Tiffany said? What would happen then?

태연제시카써니티파니효연유리수영윤아서현

After months of contemplating for answers, I arrived at Yoona’s home and saw how well-off she is. I rang the doorbell and a middle-aged woman opened the door. She asked me who I was and I told her…she smiled briefly. I requested her if I could talk to Yoona and she left for a little while before asking me to come in. She motioned me to sit down but she never told me if it was okay to talk to Yoona. After a few minutes of waiting, somebody finally spoke.

“So, you’re Yuri?” I saw a man in his late forty’s descending the stairs. “I’m Yoona’s Dad, nice to finally meet you or not. Come to think of it, I don’t like people who make my daughter cry”

“W-well, I---I’m Yuri Kwon, Sir and it’s nice to finally meet you, too. I’m sorry if I made Yoona cry but I promise you I’m going to make up for it if you would just let me talk to her, please.”

“So you admit that you made my daughter cry? Why, why did she cry? Second year starts three days from now and you’re still her roommate right? Can’t you wait for her then?”

“Y-yes and I am still her roommate Sir but I want to apologize to her personally first especially that you’re here. I---”

“You had three months to apologize, why do it now?” He’s calm yet so stern.

“I had to fix myself first, Sir. I had to pick myself up together before I could finally face your daughter so I could tell her how I really feel and be better for her”

“And what do you feel for my daughter exactly, Yuri?” Is this being interrogated feels like?

“I---I love your daughter, Mr. Im. I know in the eyes of the society and even you, what I feel for Yoona is wrong but I couldn’t help it. I tried to ignore, stop or hide it but I can’t and I’m willing to prove to all of you, to Yoona and even to myself that what I feel for her can be right if I try my hardest to make it one. So Sir, please just let me talk to your daughter”

“I’m glad that you have the courage to go here and even tell me things like that, Yuri but Yoona isn’t here at the moment so I guess, you should tell her how you feel when you two meet again” What the? She isn’t even here?

“I better get going then Sir. But please tell her I came by and I really want to see and talk to her soon. I’m so sorry for taking your time. It’s nice to meet you again, Mr. Im” I said bowing before leaving and the middle-aged woman even accompanied me up to the gates.

“Thank you. I hope to see you again soon, Ma’am” I bowed.

“Miss Kwon, I know I’m not in the position to tell you this but please don’t give up on Miss Im, yet”

I smiled at her. “Don’t worry, I won’t”

태연제시카써니티파니효연유리수영윤아서현

“Mom, don’t worry. I’ll be okay. I can take care of myself now”

“I know Mom; I’m going to my dorm room now”

“Mom, I have to go, I’ll call you later again, okay? I love you.”

End call.

Here I go again, a second year engineering student looking for freedom and firsts – freedom from this melancholy and now, I looking for my first love, my first roommate…that annoying girl.

Room 0808

“I guess she’s not here yet, better freshen’ up first” I mumbled to myself.  Woah, déjà vu?!

But before I went to the bathroom, I planned to let myself know if she arrives so I devised a contraption where fake cockroaches would fall from the ceiling near the door the moment the door closes. I know she hates me and this would make her angrier but it’s the only way I could trap her in this room for us to finally talk.

After I finished showering, I heard someone scream. I smiled. She might not talk to me or even kill me after this but here goes nothing.

“Aaaaacccckkkk….cockroach…help…kill it...kill it…”

I opened the door of the bathroom and we saw each other’s eyes again. She stopped panicking.

“Hi. Nice to see you again. They’re fake cockroaches---“  She was about to leave, “But I put real roach goo on them so they’re still disgusting” She stopped.

“You’re disgusting” She said nonchalantly.

“I guess, I am. But when I told my family that I’m gay and that I’m in love with you, they never said I was. S-so, how are you, Yoong?” I smile faintly seeing that she surprise.

“I-I’m fine. Y-you finally told them huh? I bet you didn’t tell them the disgusting part where I caught you and Tiffany going at it in her room” I sighed.

“I told them that too---“

“Liar”

“Not the ‘going at it’ part though because that never happened”

“Yuri---“

“Yoona, please believe me when I tell you that what you saw that night wasn’t what you’re thinking. It was like Tiffany’s way of letting go”

“Letting go of what? Your clothes?” She chuckled bitterly.

“Why are you so malicious about it? She kissed me because it was her playful revenge since I admitted to her that I am in love with you…I was surprise with it too…it was my first kiss”

“I’m not being malicious about it…I was stating the obvious. And what kind of a person loses her first kiss just like that---“

“You lost yours with Donghae…that’s not better either”

“A-are you for real right now? Donghae-oppa and I never kissed…h-he just said that to p-piss you off” I can’t believe what she just said, but I smiled.

“He did that to piss me off? W-why? Don’t tell me he’s helping you to make me jealous?”

“W-what? No. W-when did you become so full of yourself?” She’s stuttering.

I can’t contain myself anymore. I smiled and went closer to her.

“I became so full of myself today, Yoong. When I saw you scared of cockroaches because I thought, you would need me to kill them for you; when you smiled a little when I told you that I finally admitted to my family that I’m gay and that I am in love with you, when you’re still angry about that incident with Tiffany because I thought, maybe she’s jealous…maybe I have a chance and when you admitted that you and Donghae never kissed…that made me more confident to lay all of me in the line---“

I hugged her.  “Yul---“

“How I miss you calling me Yul, Yoong. I miss this, I missed you. Please, let’s start again.”

“Y-Yuri, it’s not that easy. I-I s-still h-hate you” She removed herself from the hug and looked at me straight in the eyes.

“Well, I hate you, too.” Yoona’s doe eyes went wide of surprise.

“W-what? Y-Yul?”

I smiled when she called me Yul again. I pressed my forehead to hers.

“I hate that you for being stubborn, untidy, liking arguments, dictating me on what to do sometimes, making me jealous, not admitting that you might like me too---“ I smirked and she just hit my arm. I saw tears forming in her eyes that I had to touch her face and wipe the tears falling slowly. “I hate you because you stole my heart the first time you spoke to me about me checking you out and I never got my heart back after that…and every reason that made me hate you is also the reasons why I keep falling deeply in love with you again and again Im Yoona”

“Yul---“

"And all I’m asking is a chance to prove to you that we can make this work…to prove to you how much I love you”

I hugged her again.

“So, Yoong…”

YES? OR NO?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks to my Part One upvoters: AwkwardJaylee, 8pipsqueak97, grace78, samdoor, charryjay, SaranghaeYuri, 120530 and gw3dlove – because upvoting is voluntary.

And I'm sorry to my Part One subscribers who were forced to subscribe because of my "Subscriber Access Only" privacy option.

By the way, do you want to know Yoona's point of view for the whole part one, you? Yes or No?

If Yes, you should know that Yoona thinks that life is like a boat!