When we arrived at the dorms, we were both uncomfortably silent. I confessed…properly this time but all she uttered was about going home…so what can I say about that. I can’t ask anymore for the answer because she clearly said earlier that she hates me. I was hoping to lessen that hate after I confessed but she didn’t even say anything.

I finished cleaning up first so I went to bed to avoid the awkwardness that’s slowly building. I’m really tired both physically and emotionally today that I felt myself drifting fast to sleep…then I felt her lie down also. She lied down but I was shocked to the fact that she snuggled next to me. I know it’s cold and all but her side of the bed is empty with her unused blanket. She’s literally sleeping on my side of the bed, sharing my blanket. I mean, I don’t don’t like it, but this is also torture.

I just started liking someone, that someone happens to be a girl and my roommate and she’s sleeping and getting dangerously close, next to me. What the hell is happening? I’m feeling something that might get me in jail. She’s sleeping with her backside facing me. I couldn’t see her face but I can absolutely smell her scent. It’s intoxicating that I had to snuggle closer too. I love her scent; I don’t think I can get enough. As I move closer, I can feel her breathing becoming irregular, faster.

“Y-Yul, let’s just sleep for tonight, okay?”

“W-what? Y-yeah, s-sure. Isn’t that what w-we’re d-doing?” I moved away a little.

She rolled, facing me. Only the bed light’s on but I can still see her face, her beautiful angelic face and those doe-eyes, those doe-eyes that sparkled because her thin lips started to smile. Her eyes gazing fixedly at mine, I look at her lips…I can’t help but gulp. I was getting closer again…seeing those lips…I moved closer…closer…

“Y-Yul” I stopped. I stared at her and she’s pouting.

“L-let’s sleep. Good night, Yoong” I said, closing my eyes and plastering a smile.

“Y-Yul, w-we can cuddle…it is cold and y-you’re scared of thunder and lightning, r-right?” She said timidly.

Why is she being like that now? It’s way too cute. I don’t think I can control myself with her acting like that. Yul, don’t let your hormones get the better of you. Fight the urge Yul, fight it!

“I’m fine. The storm is almost calm” I said nonchalantly to control myself.

“F-Fine!” She moved, farther away to her side of the bed, with her backside facing me again.

Is she angry again? Screw hormones!

I moved to her side of the bed, back-hugging her tightly. I snuggled closer making her feel my warm breath, nuzzling her neck so I can smell her scent.

“Mmmm…Y-Yul?” I can feel her breathing erratically again.

“I-I…L-let’s sleep, Yoong” She nodded and we both drifted into a comfortable slumber.

I woke up with Yoona hugging me. I can’t help but smile. We’re not yet official, what we have does not have a label, but I can wait until we know what we are.

“Good morning” I greeted when she woke up.

“Good morning, Yul. I was expecting to be treated with breakfast in bed” She teased without breaking the hug.

“I thought you’re the chef one. Would you really want me to cook something for you?” I countered.

“Nevermind. We can just grab something at Sunny Café besides it’s all free” She smiled teasingly again.

“You’re really going to bring that up now?”

“Yes, why? You’re getting mad?”

“No, I don’t get mad. I get even…” I said before tickling her.

We talked about random things…still avoiding the topic about us, played childish games, and tickled each other on bed when her phone rang.

“Donghae-oppa” I was about to stand up and leave the bed when she held my hand and gestured me to stay.

“Dad wants us to meet up? Why wouldn’t he drive himself to meet me?”

“What time?”

“Okay. See you.” End of call.

“Dad said he wanted to meet up with me but asked Donghae-oppa to drive me there.”

“I heard”

“Yul, did something happen between you and Donghae-oppa while we’re gone? Answer me honestly please.”

“Why are you only meeting your Dad, what about your Mom? Doesn’t she miss you?” That subject must be sensitive for Yoona because she suddenly looked angry and sad at the same time.

“Answer me first” She said in an almost irritated voice.

“Yes, something happened. I felt a little insulted but his words were true.”

“What did he say?”

“Shouldn’t you answer my question now?”

“Yul!”

“Aish, he said he’ll tell me something so I wouldn’t get hurt when it comes to having relationship with a girl…he said girls like to be treated like they’re princesses but in the long run, they’re going to need more than fingers and tongue, they’ll want the real thing too and between me and him…he has it while I don’t” 

“What?! Oppa said that?” She yelled in disbelief.

“No, Yoong. Your Donghae-oppa never said that, I made it up. Happy? So, are you going to answer my question now?”

“Yul, you’re not being serious here. Fine…sighs…My M- Mom left my Dad when I was still a baby. She didn’t love him. She only agreed to marry him because her parents told her to, to please them. My Dad said that she was in love with someone else. When I was born, I guess, she couldn’t handle lying to herself anymore. Seeing me was too much for her, seeing that I’m a product of nothing but a forced marriage. S-she eloped with that man, leaving me and my Dad and pretended that we never existed.”

“Oh.”

“That’s why I hate it when people are lying to themselves and are not being honest and those people who leave when problems arise because in all of that, I can see my own Mother in them. And all my bottled emotions, all my angst are thrown into that person. Do you get it now?”

“Yes, I got it. Don’t worry, I’ll try not to leave” I said smiling, getting up of the bed getting ready for school.

“Yul, don’t try. Just don’t leave, okay?” She said while getting up also, running swiftly to the bathroom before hearing my answer.

Yes!

태연제시카써니티파니효연유리수영윤아서현

I left the dorm to go to school while Yoona was still in the bathroom fixing herself as to avoid seeing her leave with Donghae later. I know we are not anything but friends and roommates…but she knows how I feel about her so I think she would understand if I sit this one out.

After class, I checked out my phone and saw its battery was about to run out so before that happened I texted Yoona to ask about how her day went, just checking up…nothing special then I asked her if we can throw a mini party later… just the two of us inside our room for making up but after I pressed send, I got a call from my Mom.

“Mom, what’s up? My battery’s running low.”

“When? W-what? You’re already here?”

“O-okay, I’ll see you then”

I was about to text Yoona about me having to cancel our little festivity because of my mother’s surprise arrival but before I could press send, my phone shut downed. Crap!

Room 0808

“M-Mom, you’re already here?! N-nice to see you! How’s oppa and appa?” I asked uneasily.

“They’re fine. Why are you so nervous? Are you hiding something Yul? Do you already have a boyfriend who’s coming over?” My mother said smirking.

“Mom! Seriously?”

“What? You’re a very pretty girl and you’re already in college. I thought you wanted to study somewhere faraway so you can have the freedom to date whoever you want?! You need some other inspiration too.”  Whoever I want? What if I tell you that I want her? All I need is her.

“That’s not the freedom I was yearning for, Mom.” I rolled my eyes while watching her roam the room.

“Then what do you want? I-I see, you’re already close to your roommate. You combined your beds alre---.”

“Yul, I’m hom---hi, A-Auntie?!“

Yoona walked in holding balloons and a cake. She was surprised and has the why didn’t you tell me look on her face but I can’t answer her loudly now. I just pointed my phone being charged. She just sighed.

“Is this the very nice roommate you’re telling me about Yul? She’s so pretty! Thank you for being nice to my daughter, Yoona right? It’s her first time to be away from us and you even accompanied her to her Aunt Soon Kyu’s. Glad that my daughter found a new friend”  I don’t know if I’ll be happy seeing that my Mom likes Yoona or worried that she might find something else now that Yoona is in the room.

“A--…w-well, I---a”

“What’s wrong with you two? You both look so worried? Don’t worry. I really don’t mind having your boyfriends come over. Seeing those balloons and cake makes me think you’re having a ‘–sary ‘ or something to celebrate about”

“M-Mom, Y-Yoona doesn’t have a boyfriend, too. W-we are just celebrating you being h-here, I texted her to bring that stuff for the celebration, r-right, Yoona? She just nodded.

“That’s too bad. You’re both too pretty. You know Yoona, when she was still in high school, my Yuri here had so many suitors but she never really paid attention to all of them because she was scared that I would scold her so I thought she’ll finally introduce me to a nice guy now because she can have her freedom here.”

“W-was Y-Yul really scared of getting scolded so she chose to ignore the people who liked her, Auntie?” I jolted at her question. What is she thinking right now?

“W-well, yes. She’s somewhat guarded growing up so that’s what I thought. Why, do you know other reasons Yoona, dear?”

“N-no. I can’t think of any either…right, Yul?”

“Y-yes. I was just scared…of being scolded” I saw Yoona smiled at me faintly with disappointment in her eyes.

Yoona and I stayed silent with each other after that. My mom suggested that we eat out with Yoona and I can’t say no, we just nodded. The whole dinner was awkward too with mostly my Mom telling stories to Yoona about me growing up. Yoona would just smile and nod and we would exchange glances from time to time.

We arrived at the dorm quite late already and my mom’s showing signs of tiredness and sleepiness.

“Well, we better get some sleep since we’re going to have some daughter-mother bonding time tomorrow before I leave and Yoona dear, please come with us? I know my Yuri will be quite bored if it’s just the two of us” My mom said while positioning herself to lie down between mine and Yoona’s combined beds.

“Well, actually Auntie I---“

“I won’t accept no for an answer. You’ll make me very sad.” We just looked each other and sighed.

“O-okay.”

I woke up first since I couldn’t sleep that well. I saw Yoona sleeping soundly so I guessed she has no worries about my Mom being here and me acting like the deer in the headlights.

The two of them woke up minutes after and we prepared ourselves for the bonding time that my Mom requested. We went to Sunny Café first for breakfast, saying hi to Aunt Soon Kyu, talking with her a little with Aunt Soon Kyu giving me some knowing looks.

My mom then suggested that we head to the mall because she has books to buy so Yoona and I agreed, still not saying anything to each other. While we were in the bookstore I couldn’t take the silence anymore since I know my mom’s already sensing some tension between me and Yoona. I looked for her inside the bookstore and saw her reading in the novels area.

“That’s an book” I said nonchalantly.

“What? Of course not. This is a romance novel, there’s a difference. Besides, why are you suddenly talking to me like that now? Aren’t you scared of being scolded?”

“Why, do you like me?” I replied smirking.

“Friends like each other, right?” She smiled knowing she won.

“Oh man, I lost again” She hit my arm while letting out a chuckle. “Does that mean, I’m forgiven?”

“You did something wrong?”

We just forgot the awkwardness and started to be playful again. The three of us then strolled, shopped, window shopped, and ate lunch before seeing my mom off.

“Well, I’ll be going now. Take care of yourself here Yul. I’m glad you found a friend that you get along well and she takes care of you but I wish you would find yourself a boyfriend soon. Right, Yoona dear?”

“Um, yeah. I guess, Yuri really needs to find a b-boyfriend soon”

“See, even Yoona here is agreeing with me. What about Minho, Yul? You want me to call him to visit you here? He likes you very much”

I was shocked that she even brought up Minho, even Yoona was surprised. He’s a childhood friend of mine and although he likes me, I was never interested in him which I can completely understand now why. I don’t know what came over me but I really want to tell my mother right here and now who I really like so she wouldn’t say random names to be paired with me.

“Actually Mom I li…Yoona’s…I---“  I looked at Yoona and I saw glimpse of anticipation…like telling me that I should go for it.

“Mmm, what is it? Do you want to tell me something about you and Yoona?”

I thought I can but I still can’t. “M-Mom, as much as I want you to stay, Yoona and I think you should already leave. You’re late and we need to go home before it gets dark.” I saw Yoona’s disappointed look again.

“Oh, Yul. Fine, fine. Yoona, thank you for being her friend. See you soon, take care you girls.” Mom said before waving goodbye.

We went back to together to the dorm. I heard Yoona’s loud sigh before walking ahead of me. I ran after her but she was fast, entering our room.

“Hey, we have time now to celebrate us making up” I said to break the ice.

“Are you sure that we made up?” She said narrowing her eyes at me.

“What? I thought we’re already okay?”

“I thought so too until I saw how much of a coward you still are. I thought you’re finally going to tell your mother about u—s…about you…this”

“Are we gonna argue about this again? This is turning into a habit Yoona. I’ll tell her when I’m really ready besides…there are still no us” I said mumbling the last part.

“So you’re waiting for us to happen so you can finally come clean to her? What if us don’t happen, Yuri?” I guess she heard me. “How are you going to use that excuse? Why can’t you be honest with her without using other reasons? She’s your mother”

“Why are you so worked up about this? We’re not even together and you’re already dictating me on what to do…why can’t you be more like Tiffany?” My eyes widened as to what words just slipped out of my mouth.

“So you’re comparing me to Tiffany now because I can’t express my emotions about you well or I’m not sticking on you like a love-stricken puppy that’ll follow and wait your every order? Well too bad for you because I’m not like that and I really don’t care if you’ll like her more than me because of those stupid traits”

Sighed. We’re arguing again. “You know what, you’re right Yoona. I like Tiffany because of those things and we don’t argue all the time so…let’s stop this before we say something else that would hurt one another more.”

I walked out. I don’t want to argue with her anymore. I love her, I do but my weak heart is still new to this thing of falling in love that emotions can get the best of me. I wanted to spend the night in Sooyoung’s room to cool things off but remembering how she admitted to me weeks ago about having something going on with her roommate Hyoyeon, I can’t do that to them; so I knocked on Tiffany’s door. She opened her door with her arms crossed.

“Hey Tiff I’m---“

“I’m mad at you for ditching me the other day. You do not seem to care about me that much, Yuwr. I’m your friend too you know” She said pouting. Then I realized I was being a jerk to Tiffany too.

“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have done that. Something came up that day and I don’t want any negativity since you were really enjoying yourselves.”

“Hmp, fine, come on in. You’re forgiven but don’t do that again. Tell me if something’s bothering you because maybe I could help. Anyway, why are you here? Just to apologize? ”

“There is actually. Can I stay here for the night? Or can you…exchange rooms with me for some time?”

“You and Yoona had a fight?” I nodded. “You can stay here for the night Yuwr, we can even combine our beds like in your room but I can’t exchange rooms with you…but Seohyun can” She said eye-smiling.

“What? Seohyun?”

“Yeah. Yoona and Seohyun likes peace and quiet while we’re a bit loud so let’s ask Seobaby if she’s willing. Besides, it’s not permanent right? I’m not going to complain if it’s going to be permanent”

We waited for Seohyun to arrive before telling her the plan and she readily agreed since she wants to read some more too in a library-quiet-like-room. We went to our room to ask Yoona what she thinks about it.

“You want to live in Tiffany’s room? We can tell the admin now to make this permanent”

“I know right. That’s what I’ve been saying to her Yoongie”

“N-no, I don’t want to burden Seo with that”

“Seo? Seriously, now you’re using Seohyun as an excuse?” We are arguing again and I could tell Tiffany and Seohyun are feeling the tension.

“U-unnies, I-I don’t want this to be permanent also. I want to go back to my own room after finishing the 10 books that I recently bought.”

“Fine, do whatever you want Yuri. And Seo, I hope you’ll change your mind and be my permanent roommate”

Sigh. “L-let’s just go, Tif”

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Can you feel my heart? Can you read my mind, you? Yes or No?